Night Shifts Black (12 page)

“And that was even
before Elena’s suicide?” I ask, realizing I’ve only begun to scratch the
surface of this enigma.

Casey seems surprised by
my comment at first, then relieved that the topic is finally out.

He sighs. “Yes. Elena
was…” He stops, and I can tell this subject is difficult for him as well. “She
was a beautiful person, inside and out. Deep down he never thought he deserved
her.” He quiets again. “I think that’s why he did the things he did.”

“What things?” I ask,
unable to stop the question.

He stares ahead again,
but only ends up meeting my eyes in the mirror. “You know, things. There are a
lot of temptations out there. On the road. For us.”

“He cheated on her?”

“A lot,” Casey admits
quietly. “He never should have married her and he knew it. For her sake. He
couldn’t be the person she deserved. Not with the way things were for us. He couldn’t
forgive himself before, but especially after. God, you want to see a person who
hates himself?”

We both stare over at
Luke.

“And what am I supposed
to do? Huh?” he continues in a haunted voice. “What do you say to a monster you
love who’s finally figured out what he is?”

I swallow hard. I feel
something burning deep inside me again, but I don’t know what to do with it.
There’s so much going on in my head, in my heart, my soul, at that moment, I
don’t even know where to begin.

I have a lot to think
about, and the sudden silence comes at a good time. I can tell Casey’s mind is
racing as well, and I wonder what he’s thinking. I want to ask, but I’m not
ready for that yet. I’m starting to care way too much about what’s going on in this
surprisingly deep and compassionate drummer’s head for it to be a safe topic.

“I should go check on
the party and see if I can wind it down,” he states abruptly. “When I get back
we’ll try to get some alcohol out and water in.”

I give him a grateful
smile, which he returns. He squeezes my hand before rising from the bed, and I
blush a little. I hadn’t even realized we were still holding hands.

∞∞∞

Casey returns shortly, and the purging
procedure proves to be unpleasant at best. I know without Casey, I never would
have had the strength to complete it. Luke struggles violently against his
friend as Casey drags him to the bathroom, forcing him against the toilet until
he vomits, repeatedly.

I stand watch at the
door, my heart breaking at the sight, but somehow finding peace in Casey’s calm
strength. He speaks to Luke in a tone mixed with comfort and confrontation,
refusing to send the message that what’s happening is ok, even as he pours
every ounce of himself into nursing his friend. It’s a fascinating thing to
watch, this strange combination of compassion and criticism, something that I’m
sure can only be born from a genuine love of someone who cares deeply.

“Can you grab the
towel there?” Casey calls over to me, and I pull a hand towel from the shelf
below the sink. “Thanks. Oh, hey, can you wet it? Yeah, thanks.”

He takes the towel and
uses it to wipe Luke’s face. Luke is still only half-conscious, but awake
enough to control a string of every curse word he knows. Casey only rolls his
eyes at his friend’s impotent tirade and drags him back to his feet. I jump in
to help, and between the two of us, we manage to get Luke back in bed.

“Here, drink this,”
Casey commands, holding a water bottle to Luke’s lips.

“I don’t want it!”
Luke slurs, trying to wave it away.

“Drink it, you idiot!”
Casey continues, turning the bottle up. Luke curses him as water spills down
his chin and onto his bare chest.

“Can you find a pair
of boxers or something in his drawer?” he asks me.

I nod, relieved that
Casey is willing to take on that challenge as well. I find an acceptable option,
and by the time I return to the scene, Casey has managed to get Luke to drain a
bottle of water on his own. I hand him the shorts and move toward the bathroom.

“I’ll clean up in
here.”

“Thanks,” Casey calls
after me.

I’m not surprised there
are no cleaning supplies, after all who would need them in a place where maid
service is a phone call away, so I do my best with water and more towels.
Casey’s nursing skill quickly becomes apparent, however, when I realize there’s
not much to clean up. I wonder how many times they’ve been through this
routine. Still, I make sure to give them enough time to finish their own mission
before returning to the bedroom.

Luke is already tucked
in and sleeping when I get back.

“He’ll be ok. We’ll
get more water in him a little later,” Casey assures me.

“Casey…”

He glances up at me,
waiting, but I’m not sure how to continue. I want him to know what I’m feeling,
how much I admire what I just saw, how grateful I am for him, but it all gets
stuck on my tongue.

“Um…you can go enjoy
your friends if you’d like. I’ll stay with him.”

He gives me a silly
grin as he straightens to his feet and stretches.

“Are you kicking me
out and telling me to go play with my friends?”

I blush but relax when
I can tell he’s amused, not annoyed.

“No, that’s not what I
meant, I just…if you want to…I like your company.”

He smiles and shakes
his head. “Well, they’re not my friends, anyway. I don’t even know most of
them. I’m not even sure Luke does either.” He pauses and glances down at his
clothes. “I could use a shower, though. You never really get used to puke.”

A laugh escapes me,
and I nod. “Not a bad idea. There’s a nice one in the extra room, but what
about all the guests?”

Casey glances over at
the clock. “I think it’s late enough that we can wind this down without
damaging Luke’s reputation.”

I stifle my grin, not
sure if he’s joking or not, and watch as he moves toward the door.

“Be back in a minute,”
he whispers with a conspiratorial glint.

I lower myself beside
Luke again and close my eyes. In all the drama, I hadn’t realized how tired I
was. Or how hungry. I lean over and grab the plate from the nightstand to pick
through some of the snacks. Even though they’d been sitting for a while now,
the food is still more delicious than any “party food” I’m accustomed to. I
wonder how Luke had managed to pull this event together so fast, catering included.
Had this been planned for a while and he only warned me about it today? Or do
rock stars just have a team of party planners and vendors on call should they
decide they’re in the mood to “have some people over.”

Casey interrupts my
meditations by popping his head back in to let me know the guests should be
disbanding soon and he found the shower I’d told him about. I was right, it
looks fantastic, so he’ll be back in a few minutes.

I find myself grinning
long after he disappears again and realize what a strange effect he has on me.
I wonder if Luke used to be that way. After all, he’d said he’d used to be
silly, but I quickly decide Casey’s easy smile warms me in its authenticity,
not it’s silliness. Casey isn’t silly, just genuine.

“Callie?”

The voice almost
startles me, and I glance down to see Luke squinting up at me. I place the
plate back on the nightstand, so I can focus on him and be ready for whatever
he needs.

“I’m here. How are you
feeling?”

“I don’t know yet.”

I nod. “Casey took
really good care of you.”

He looks away, but I’m
not sure if any of it registers.

“Where is he?”

“He’s just cleaning up
in the other guest room. He’ll be back soon.”

Luke’s expression
changes again, but I’m not sure what to make of it. “He’s a good friend. He
shouldn’t be, but he is,” he mutters.

“He is.”

“I’m not.”

“Luke…”

“What? You know it’s
true.”

“Just get some rest.
We’ll talk tomorrow, ok?”

“Laurie?”

“Who?”

“Um…no. Laura.
Uh…Laurel…”

“Luke, seriously, just
get some rest.”

He nods and closes his
eyes again, and I find myself relieved to be released from more confusing
conversation with him. It’s a strange contrast to the fact that I miss Casey
and look forward to his return. I get my wish soon enough when he bursts
through the door, a relaxed smile on his face.

My relief quickly
transforms into something entirely different when he comes into view.

“Man, you weren’t
kidding!” he exclaims, moving into the room. His hair is wet, messy, and he has
a towel secured around his waist. I swallow and try not to stare, but fail
miserably as he roots through Luke’s drawers for a change of clothes.

“Have you tried it?
The wall one? Completely ridiculous.”

I force a smile. “This
morning, actually. Well, I guess, technically, it was yesterday, at this point.”

He shakes his head and
pulls on a pair of jeans. He applies the newly freed towel to his hair again
and leans against the dresser.

“Who the hell needs a
wall shower? What’s that about?”

I shrug in response as
he hovers half-naked a few feet away, and I consider closing my eyes. I have
to. I don’t know how else to avoid gaping at him like a spellbound teenager.
How did I miss this before? But of course I can’t close my eyes. I’d look like
a crazy person. I feel like a crazy person. I must be more tired than I’d
thought because I’m pretty sure I’m not drunk. I clear my throat and hop off
the bed.

“Where are you going?”
he asks.

“Nowhere. Just thought
I’d take a break from this room for a while. Luke is doing fine. He woke up a
second ago and mumbled some stuff that made no sense, but at least proves he’s
starting to work his way back to our world. Is it safe yet?”

“Out there?” Casey
asks, motioning toward the door.

“Yeah, is everyone
gone?”

Casey shrugs. “Got me.
Probably. I cut off bar service, so I doubt anyone will stick around much longer.”

“I’ll go check.”

He seems concerned by
my strange behavior, and I don’t blame him. I’m concerned, too.

“You got weird all of
the sudden. You ok?”

My mouth goes dry as
his dark eyes search mine, and I force a smile. I don’t know how to explain why
I’m not.

“Fine, yeah, just need
a change of scenery for a bit, that’s all.”

Casey nods. “Ok, sure.
Let me finish up here and I’ll meet you out front.”

I smile and suck in my
breath as I’m forced to move past him. Dammit, he smells as good as he looks right
now.

∞∞∞

The guests are still there. Not as many as
before, sure, but enough that I’m positive the scowl is evident on my face. I
toss my shoes in the corner and consider taking Casey’s lead by borrowing some
of Luke’s clothes. I suddenly feel completely restricted in this tiny dress
that has no business on me anymore. I’m done with that and ready for this room
to be mine again.

I turn on the hi-hats
to a chorus of groans and curses, mostly from the few presumptuous guests who
errantly thought they’d be crashing here tonight.

“Does anyone need a
cab?” I call out, relishing how freeing it is not to care if any of these
people hate me. Heck, not even knowing who they are or why I should care.

No one takes me up on
my offer, but their glares indicate they’re getting the hint. Several of them
begin collecting their belongings and making the exodus toward the door. It
briefly occurs to me how strange it is that they’re following my orders, and I
wonder if Luke will be mad that I was rude to all of his friends. Oh well, he
should have thought of that before he passed out and left me to my villainy.

“Thanks, everyone.
Thanks for coming. Actually, if you ask for Mara Jacobson in the lobby, I’m
sure she’ll be happy to book a room for you. Thank you. Oops, your purse…yes,
there….thank you.... Thank you... Thanks. Ok, you ok? Ok good, thanks.”

I sense someone
watching me and shoot my gaze toward the hallway to meet Casey’s ever-present
grin. He found himself a t-shirt, and now leans against the wall, observing my efforts
with an amused expression. He waves me on with an encouraging gesture, and I
roll my eyes. I know he’s a second away from laughing.

I turn back to my task,
and notice with surprise and relief that it’s basically been completed. With
the exception of one guy still asleep on the couch.

“You missed one,”
Casey teases, drawing up beside me and staring down at the body.

I give him a mock
glare before leaning down and shaking the guest. The man doesn’t even stir,
loud snores rumbling from his face.

“What do we do?” I
ask.

Casey shrugs. “That’s
Orin Cantea.”