Every time she hit that wall, that inescapable fact, there was a moment she hated Ryuu for making her life more difficult. Resignation was easier than hope, less emotional. She thought about some of the older ladies in the house, how often their days off were spent intoxicated by the cheap wine Madame supplied for her girls. She understood now why those women chose that path. It was easier and less painful in the long run.
But then her mood would change and she realized that she still liked Ryuu, and it wasn’t his fault her life was as it was. If blame had to be placed it would be on her father, but Takako couldn’t bring herself hate her father, not even then. So instead she did as her nature directed her and strove to make the best out of her situation.
It took all her courage to go to Madame one afternoon to ask for permission to write to Ryuu.
Madame stared at her warily. Takako didn’t shrink from the attention.
“I’ve been worrying about the effect his visit had on you. Your mood has been much more unpredictable since his arrival.”
Takako didn’t say anything.
“Why?”
She had thought carefully about this. “It is good practice for me. But most importantly, it would make me happy.”
Takako had spent the past several days deciding how to defend her decision. There was no hope in lying to Madame. No one could. Madame frequently spoke about wanting to care for her women, wanting to keep them happy. Takako was betting it wasn’t all a lie.
But Madame had let Ryuu come in the first place, which meant there was something else going on as well. Takako was sure the money was good, but Takako was dangerous right now. All of her potential clients had dried up as soon as word of Nori’s request had spread. Letting any male near her was dangerous for the house.
No, there was something else, some threads Takako didn’t see. Whatever the case, she had rolled the dice. There had been no other option.
“Fine. But I expect to read all correspondence both ways.”
Takako had expected nothing less. “Thank you.”
So Takako wrote to Ryuu, keeping the first letter short and meaningless. She didn’t know if it would get to Ryuu and didn’t know if he would respond. Takako didn’t even know if Ryuu could read or write. She didn’t want to invest too much of herself into the letter if her plan backfired. When she looked over it, she almost wondered if it was too bland. Thank you for your visit, I enjoyed your company, I hope you will look us up the next time you are in town, hope that your journey back to the village was safe, et cetera. She worried that even if he could read he might consider it a polite thank you all customers received. In a small act of rebellion and freedom she kissed her signature on the page and gave it to Madame to be sent.
A full moon passed, and she did not hear back from Ryuu. Madame had cautioned her about getting her hopes up. Although the letter had been addressed to the village nearest where he lived, Madame mentioned in passing she wasn’t sure exactly where Shigeru was from and that he may not stop into town for a while to pick it up. She also wasn’t sure either Shigeru or Ryuu could read. This was all news to Takako. Although Madame wouldn’t speak about it, it was clear she knew more about Shigeru than she let on.
Takako’s high hopes began to plummet despite her best efforts at not investing herself in the letter. Ryuu wasn’t much, but he was the only thing she had. But maybe she had been wrong about that. After a while her natural optimism reasserted itself, but she knew even that dimmed a little every day.
Takako almost jumped for joy when she received a letter written in small, neat handwriting. The seal had been ripped open, but that had been the deal. Madame had made herself clear. Just as she was about to open the letter she stopped. Better to hold on to it. She set it aside in her room to treasure until that evening.
When the day’s work was done Takako prepared herself for bed and her last action of the day was to open Ryuu’s letter. His handwriting was dense as if every inch of paper was valuable to him. Takako read through the letter once quickly and then went back to read it, savoring every word. Then she read it through a third time. Like her letter to him it was full of meaningless discussion. There was a short description of one of his favorite places to relax, some details from his journey, and greetings and well-wishes from Shigeru.
Takako pondered the letter. Although there was a lot written there, she could tell almost nothing about Ryuu from the message. The tone was friendly, conversational, and kind, but she learned nothing meaningful about him. No hint of what his family did for a living, why he carried a sword, or even where he lived. Takako had to look up the village on a map. Even once she found the village, which was in the middle of nowhere, she had no idea where Ryuu lived relative to the village.
Frustrated, Takako decided she would try to use these letters to draw out the mysterious Ryuu. She fell asleep committed to replying the very next day. She fell to her task with ardor and the next day Takako watched as the daily messenger left carrying her letter among others.
The second response from Ryuu came more quickly than the first, just over a half-moon from the day she sent the message. She saw in Ryuu’s letter that he promised to stop by the village as often as possible to check for messages. He hoped it would decrease the necessary delay between contact.
Once again though the message didn’t reveal anything personal about Ryuu. He seemed to be an expert at deflecting any attention away from himself. He answered all of her questions about him in vague generalities and redirected the conversation back to her with his questions. Takako almost laughed at the pattern once she recognized it, but couldn’t bring herself to use the same tactics on him. She vowed to continue trying to draw him out of his shell while revealing herself naturally.
The messages continued throughout the rest of the winter season. Another meeting was arranged for the beginning of the snow melt, and Takako realized she had something to look forward to. Many of the ladies in the house commented on her positive demeanor, and she replied kindly to them all, believing that perhaps her fortunes had changed. If Ryuu was rich, perhaps he could buy her before Akio. It didn’t seem likely, but perhaps it was possible.
The snow couldn’t melt fast enough for Takako’s liking and at times Madame would remind Takako the snow melt also signaled the beginning of spring when Nori would bring his son to the house to buy her. Takako determined not to let the news bother her and fought to remain positive and look forward to Ryuu’s visit.
Finally, a letter came from Shigeru, which Madame let Takako read. It stated the two of them were to come four days hence and their hospitality would be much appreciated for the night. Takako continued to read the letter beyond the pertinent information, realizing Madame was charging an exorbitant fee for a night of conversation for Ryuu and a night for Shigeru. Takako didn’t realize Madame’s income was quite so high. It forced a new perspective on her.
The wait was interminable. The four days seemed to pass one extended breath at a time. Chores were difficult to focus on and complete and Madame frequently scolded her for her poor manners and behavior around the house. Takako found she couldn’t help it. The thought of being with Ryuu again, even if it was just to have a conversation, was so pleasing that daily tasks seemed monotonous and difficult to complete.
The day of Ryuu’s arrival was a bright and sunny spring day. The snows had yet to melt which meant Takako had at least a moon or two of freedom left. She enjoyed being outside, the warmth of the sun not eliminating the cold but still melting snow. Despite the brief respite and the beautiful weather, Takako was anything but cheerful. She rarely blamed Madame for her problems, but she did today. Takako’s list of assigned chores was almost unbearable. She suspected Madame was assigning her so many chores on purpose, to remind her why she was here.
Takako wanted none of it. Her plan for the day had been to spend all day making herself look nice for Ryuu. Not seductive, just nice. She found herself wanting to impress him even if he was younger than her. He was hope, but Madame saw him as a distraction from her chores. Takako did sloppy work that morning, being ordered by Madame to try and try again until her areas were spotless.
Madame, realizing that there was no fighting the emotions of the young, relented and released her from her daily duties with a threat tomorrow would be worse. Takako was so overjoyed she almost hugged Madame before remembering herself and scampering back to her room. Time seemed to snap forward. Every moment which had gone by at a snail’s pace now seemed to fly by and Takako found herself pressed for time. The letter hadn’t specified what time they would arrive, but Takako guessed they would show up when the sun was high.
Her instincts proved to be right. Shigeru and Ryuu arrived at mid-day looking much fresher on this journey than last time. She greeted Ryuu warmly, and although he returned her greeting in kind, Takako thought there was a new hardness in him that hadn’t existed before, a new mask on top of the others. It fueled Takako’s curiosity. She needed to know who this young man was.
All of those thoughts faded as they began to converse. It was like the last time. As they talked she faded into blissful contentment. She forgot that in the whole story of her life Ryuu would just be a small positive part of it. She would still be given to Akio for an end that was still unimaginable. She forgot it all and enjoyed these moments. She relaxed and focused on the present, all of her worries drifting away to the soft cadence of Ryuu’s voice.
He still avoided any direct conversation about himself. As their meeting drew to a close, Takako was alternately frustrated and amazed. All the other women spoke of the men they were with. Takako got the impression men were capable of doing little but speaking about themselves.
Ryuu was different. Ryuu was focused on her, and Takako swam in the peace he provided. He didn’t get angry at her, no matter what she said to tease him or provoke him. He too was lost in the present and enjoying the time together. They talked about the weather, about Takako’s impending doom and what life was like for her. Ryuu seemed to be fascinated by her life and said as much. His interest was both refreshing and disturbing. It was nice to feel like she had a life story worth telling, but if her story was interesting to someone who was the son of a lord, what did that say about Ryuu? Was he defective?
The time seemed to pass in a heartbeat and Takako soon noticed it was late afternoon. She hadn’t even noticed the time passing. She smiled at the thought and it caused Ryuu to stop speaking. She turned to him. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t reacting to something you said, I got lost in my own thoughts.”
“I think you are beautiful when you smile. You don’t do it often. Not for real.”
Takako burst out in a huge smile. “I know you find me beautiful, but I appreciate you saying it, it’s very kind of you.”
Ryuu smiled then too, and Takako believed for the first time she was seeing Ryuu actually smile, not a grin that came from the mask and mind, but from the heart. She felt a warmth in her stomach she’d never experienced before, and the moment hung suspended for one fragile instant.
The moment was cut short. Ryuu became very serious, his hand going down to his sword. In that moment Takako felt something else slip away, another layer of protection Ryuu maintained throughout their time together. She had pictured him as a young man of affluence who carried a sword as a status symbol. In that instant she knew Ryuu knew how to use his sword very well. She accepted the intuition without question, not being able to process it in time.
“What’s wrong?”
“There’s a group of armed men approaching the house.”
Takako frowned. There was no way to know that. They were in private chambers well protected from the outside. When one became accustomed to the house they could tell when somebody entered, but Ryuu had said “approaching,” not “in.”
The door to the house opened and Takako caught a hint of argument between Madame’s guards and a group of men. She looked at Ryuu with a sudden fear. There was no way he could have known! Who was he? Takako realized again she had pinned her hopes on a man she knew nothing meaningful about. His deception seemed much more sinister now.
Takako looked at Ryuu trying to find some answers written somewhere on his face. But there was nothing to be found. His face was emotionless and calm. He was thinking fast, trying to decide what to do, even though he hadn’t moved a muscle. Almost as soon as the moment came it passed and Ryuu relaxed his grip on his sword and became the same Ryuu she had known throughout their brief encounters. He apologized and asked for more tea. Takako doubted her sanity. It was as if two young men were trading places in front of her. As she poured the tea she could hear the footsteps of the group come closer to her door. She started to panic. It shouldn’t have been possible. It was too soon.
Her door opened and all her fears were realized at once. The man who opened it was young, a couple of cycles older than her. He could have been handsome if not for the look of anger upon his face. Takako had seen a lot of men pass through the doors of Madame’s house over the cycles in a lot of different ways, but she had never seen a man whose face could be twisted in so much rage.
He took one glance around the room and pointed at her. “Grab the whore and makes sure she is placed somewhere that she can’t throw herself at another man.”
Four men followed his command, and Takako felt herself picked up by each limb. She thrashed about in terror, screaming for Madame to do something until part of her clothing was jammed roughly into her mouth. She tried to bite the hand holding it in, but there was too much cloth in the way and she couldn’t even begin to close her jaw.
Takako tried to turn around to look at Ryuu, managing to grab the edges of the doorway, fighting to see what transpired between the two men. She could only assume the angry man was Nori’s son, Akio. Her fears were confirmed when Madame reached the scene with all of her guards of the house behind her.