Nighthawk & The Return of Luke McGuire (13 page)

“Damn, it’s some wicked night out there,” Craig remarked. “We’ll have tornadoes for sure.”

“I hope not. I’m in a state of blissful ignorance and I’d like to stay that way.”

He laughed, a warm deep sound that seemed to touch her very heart. The man didn’t laugh easily; she’d learned that about him already.

“We get ’em occasionally hereabouts,” he told her. “Of course, that doesn’t mean you’ll ever actually see one.”

“Have you?”

“Once, when I was driving. I was on the highway, driving a truck, and I watched a funnel cloud for about twenty minutes before it dissipated. Damn, it was beautiful. Scarily beautiful. Other times I’ve seen ’em start. That’s usually a good time to find cover, which is why I don’t have a dozen stories about seeing ’em touch down.”

The lights flickered again, in company with another roll of thunder. The water on the stove was beginning to steam. Slowly, knowing that her refusal to face him was becoming painfully apparent, she turned around, trying to think of something light and amusing to say.

Before she could open her mouth, however, Guinevere rose to her feet, lowered her head and began to make the sounds that suggested she was about to vomit.

“Oh, Guin, no!”

But Guinevere had considerably more urgent matters on her mind. Lowering her head even further, she dumped the contents of her stomach. It wasn’t very much, though, and that made Esther uneasy.

She grabbed a towel and threw it over the mess, then knelt beside Guin and hugged her. “What’s wrong? Did you eat something you shouldn’t have?”

Guin gave a whimper, then vomited again. Once again there was almost nothing.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Craig said. “If there’s nothing in her stomach she shouldn’t be vomiting.”

“That’s what I think.” She looked over her shoulder at him, forgetting her embarrassment in her concern for the dog, and got a full-on view of broad, bronzed shoulders. Some corner of her mind took note of the beauty of the man, even as the rest of her scurried around looking for some way to help the dog.

Forcing herself to look away from Craig, she stroked Guinevere’s back. “What’s the matter, sweetie? Hmm? Did you eat something outside?”

Guin looked mournfully at her mistress, then heaved again.

“I think I’d better take her to the doctor,” Esther said. Her vet back in Seattle had told her never to ignore it when a dog vomited and there were no discernible pieces of food or bone in it. “You won’t mind if I leave you here alone?”

“You’re not going to leave me here,” he said. “I’m going with you. I don’t want you out on these roads in this weather, especially not in the middle of the night. Go get dressed while I look after Guinevere.”

Esther hurried upstairs as fast as she could to change into a skirt and blouse. Damning her brace for a nuisance, she worked with impatient, fumbling hands to remove it so she could put on underwear. When she went to put it back on, she hesitated, thinking it might be easier to just forgo it, but then she decided not to be stupid about it. Without the brace to stabilize her leg, she was truly handicapped, and apt to fall flat on her face, something she didn’t care to do at any time, but especially
not
in front of other people.

Her hands fumbled again as she considered the particular other person involved in tonight’s misadventure and realized that she
really
didn’t want to fall down in front of
him.

God, Esther, your life is getting to be so limited! Why are you worrying about stupid things like that?

When she limped back into the kitchen, the mess on the floor had been cleaned up, Craig had dressed again in his wet clothes and Guin was huddled under the table looking as miserable as Esther had ever seen her.

“I called the vet,” Craig said. “He’ll be waiting for us.”

She looked at him, astonished he had gone to so much trouble. This wasn’t his concern and she certainly wouldn’t have expected a man to get involved at all. “Thank you.”

He shrugged. “Jake always appreciates a few minutes to make himself a cup of coffee and get his pants on.”

“Do you have to go to him often?”

“Usually he comes to me. Or rather my sheep.”

“Do you know him well?”

“I don’t know that I’d say that.”

Guinevere was reluctant to step out into the stormy night, so Craig picked her up and carried her to Esther’s Jimmy.

“You’ll hurt yourself!” Esther protested as she trotted after him into the windy, wet night. Twice she nearly lost her balance and had to slow down.

He put the dog into her cage in the back of the car then faced Esther. “She weighs about the same as one of my sheep.”

Which probably explained the breadth and strength of the bare shoulders she had seen just a short while ago in her kitchen.

She was glad to pass him the car keys when he offered to drive, and soon they were bucking their way down her rutted driveway to the highway. Guin whimpered occasionally from the rear.

The rain had let up a little, but the lightning was still flickering nonstop, and the rumble of the thunder drowned the roar of the engine.

“Jake Llewellyn is a very nice man,” Esther remarked. “Guinevere just loves him.”

“Everything with four legs loves that man. And most of the two-legged critters like him just as well.”

Given that it was the middle of the night, it was hardly surprising that she couldn’t think of a thing to say. The silence initially felt awkward to her, but Craig didn’t seem to mind it, so finally she relaxed. With her head slightly turned, she watched him drive. His hands looked strong and capable on the steering wheel.

Out of nowhere she was shocked by an image of those hands on her flesh. Hot color flared instantly in her cheeks, but her mind wouldn’t let go of the image. An ache began low inside her, and she closed her eyes, caught in the sway of urges too strong to stifle.

For years she had refused to indulge such fantasies because they only made her miserable, but now she seemed unable to stop them. As clear as if it were happening that very instant, she could see his dark hands against the pale flesh of her breasts, and with the image came an unmistakable spear of arousal.

She wanted this man. In the privacy of her heart and mind, she admitted how much she wanted him to hold her and touch her. She knew it wasn’t possible, that he would never want her in such a way, but part of her rebelled against that reality. Part of her demanded to know why not. Part of her wondered why once, just once, she couldn’t know the delight of lovemaking. And another part of her, a scarier part, was prepared to sacrifice pride and good sense in order to have her way.

Guinevere whimpered, yanking Esther out of her dangerous thoughts. Her concern for her dog overrode everything else, and she felt ashamed for having let her thoughts wander even a little bit. Poor Guin!

She even felt a little bit of panic. Guin had been her closest friend and companion for six years now, and Esther just didn’t know how she would manage if anything happened to the dog. A large chunk of her heart had belonged to Guinevere since her puppyhood, and life without her was impossible to contemplate.

“We’ll be there soon,” Craig announced as if he felt her increasing worry.

“I’m so scared,” Esther admitted to him. “I’m probably making entirely too much out of this, but…I’m scared anyway.”

“You don’t have to apologize for caring about your dog, Esther. And you don’t have to apologize for being worried about her. I’d be worried sick if it were Mop or Bucket.”

She liked him for being able to admit that so easily. But then Craig wasn’t much like the men she had known in the past. He seemed comfortable with himself, as if he didn’t need to prove anything. It was surprisingly relaxing and comforting.

“I was never allowed to have a dog as a child,” Esther found herself confiding. “I always wanted one, but I waited until I felt I had a good enough home for one, and could be sure that I could take care of her if she got sick or anything.”

“So Guin is your first dog ever?”

“Yes. I’ve spoiled her rotten, and I’ve gotten ridiculously goofy about her.”

“Why ridiculous? Esther, believe me, Guin doesn’t think she’s been ridiculous to think the sun rises and sets on you. Why should you feel silly for feeling the same?”

“Because she’s just a dog?” She said it tentatively, because that was what she’d so often heard, but she didn’t quite believe it. “
Just
a dog? What does
just
a dog mean? Pardon me, but I think dogs, cats and every other living thing are worthy of respect, the same respect we’d give to another human being. The inability to speak English is hardly the measure of a being’s worth. Or at least it shouldn’t be, although I’ve known quite a few people who thought it was. My point is, humans have a tendency to consider every other species inferior, and therefore less worthy of love and respect. That’s ridiculous.
Difference
doesn’t necessarily imply inferiority.”

Once again he had surprised her. “You’ve thought a lot about these things.”

“Driving a truck, there isn’t much to do except think.” He tossed her a smile just before he negotiated the turn into the veterinary clinic’s parking lot. “But I think my upbringing had a lot to do with my feelings on the subject. All life is sacred, not just human life.”

Jake Llewellyn was waiting for them, and opened the front door as soon as he saw their headlights. He held the door open while Craig carried Guinevere inside.

“Down the hall, first door on the left,” he said. “Just put her on the table.”

Esther hurried after them, and when Guin was on the table, she put her hand on the dog’s neck to comfort her. Guin seemed more interested, however, in licking Dr. Llewellyn’s hand.

“How you doing, girl?” the vet asked her as he scratched her behind the ears and checked her eyes at the same time.

Guin whined briefly.

“That’s what I hear,” Jake replied. “An upset tummy with nothing in it. So what did you get into, sweetheart? Hmm? A nasty old spider?”

He made Craig and Esther wait outside while he examined Guin. The next ten minutes of Esther’s life were some of the longest she’d ever known. It reminded her, in fact, of the night her mother died, when she had paced a hospital waiting room wondering what was to become of her now.

“God, that’s terrible!”

She wasn’t aware she had spoken out loud until Craig said, “What’s wrong? What’s terrible?”

“Oh, I was just remembering…” She hesitated and then decided she might as well face up to it. “I was remembering the night my mother died. I spent an hour pacing a hospital waiting room just like this, worrying and impatient. But what suddenly struck me was that I was more worried for myself than I was for my mother. I couldn’t imagine what was going to happen to me if she died.”

“What’s so awful about that? Given the kind of mother she apparently was, I wouldn’t hold it against you if you’d felt like cheering.”

Almost in spite of herself, Esther chuckled. “It’s hard to cheer about being put in a foster home. Are you always so understanding of human weakness?”

He shrugged and gave her a crooked smile. “I’m just as human as the next guy. Who am I to judge? So, what were the foster homes like?”

“Adequate.” Now it was her turn to shrug. It wasn’t a period of life she liked to remember.

“You weren’t mistreated or anything?”

“No, not at all. It was just…I couldn’t make the connections I needed to make for it to feel like home. They were all really nice people, though. It isn’t as if they didn’t want me to feel at home.”

His dark gaze was suddenly penetrating. “Have you ever felt at home anywhere?”

In an instant she went on the defensive. “Of course! I feel perfectly at home wherever I live.” But was that true? Suddenly uncomfortable with the realization that she might not really know what it meant to feel at home, she didn’t want to look too closely at the matter.

Before Craig could press her any further, Jake joined them. “I want to keep Guinevere until late this afternoon, Esther. I can’t find anything obviously wrong, but I don’t want you to take her home on the off chance that she’ll start vomiting again. It doesn’t take much to put a dog into acidosis, and if she vomits again I’d rather have her here where I can do something right away. Okay?”

“Yes, of course, but…is she going to be all right?”

Jake smiled. “I really think she will. But vomiting of this nature is serious in a dog, and if I need to take steps, the sooner the better. I’ll call you if she worsens, otherwise you can come get her at four this afternoon.”

Leaving Guinevere behind was awful. Esther couldn’t remember when her heart had ever felt so empty.

Craig reached out and took her hand as they crossed the parking lot to the car. “She’s going to be fine. I’m sure of it.”

“But Jake didn’t want to take any chances.”

“That’s just good policy. Honestly, Esther, I think if he thought that Guinevere was in serious danger he wouldn’t have told you to go home.”

She nodded, needing to believe he was right. But it sure didn’t seem right to go home without Guinevere.

Craig helped her up into the Jimmy, a courtesy she wasn’t accustomed to, then climbed behind the wheel and exited the parking lot.

“I’d suggest a sandwich or coffee somewhere,” he said, “but this place closes up tight by ten o’clock.”

“I can make us something when we get home.” The idea of a cozy middle-of-the-night meal with him actually sounded good. Sleepiness had fled when he had arrived earlier, and it didn’t appear to be interested in returning.

“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”

Did that mean he didn’t want to spend any time alone with her? Or did he mean exactly what he said? She hesitated, trapped in her insecurities.

And then, as if her guardian angel suddenly decided to intervene, a voice in her head whispered,
What have you got to lose?

Good question, she realized. What did she have to lose? Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as the saying went. If she didn’t invite him to have a sandwich with her, he never would. And if he declined, was she any worse off?