Nights with Uncle Remus (14 page)

The old man fumbled around under his bed, and presently dragged forth a large bag filled with lightwood knots, which, with an instinctive economy in this particular direction, he had stored away for an emergency. A bright but flickering flame was the result of this timely discovery, and the effect it produced was quite in keeping with all the surrounding. The rain, and wind, and darkness held sway without, while within, the unsteady lightwood blaze seemed to rhyme with the
drip-drip-drip
in the pan. Sometimes the shadow of Uncle Remus, as he leaned over the hearth, would tower and fill the cabin, and again it would fade and disappear among the swaying and swinging cobwebs that curtained the rafters.

“W'en bed-time come, honey,” said Uncle Remus, in a soothing tone, “I'll des snatch down yo' pa buggy umbrell' fum up dar in de cornder, des lak I bin a-doin', en I'll take'n' take you und' my arm en set you down on Miss Sally h'a'th des ez dry en ez wom ez a rat'-nes' inside a fodder-stack.”

At this juncture 'Tildy, the house-girl, rushed in out of the rain and darkness with a water-proof cloak and an umbrella, and announced her mission to the little boy without taking time to catch her breath.

“Miss Sally say you got ter come right back,” she exclaimed. “Kaze she skeerd lightnin' gwine strak 'roun' in yer 'mongs' deze high trees some'rs.”

Uncle Remus rose from his stooping posture in front of the hearth and assumed a threatening attitude.

“Well, is anybody year de beat er dat!” was his indignant exclamation. “Look yer, gal! don't you come foolin' 'longer me—now, don't you do it. Kaze ef yer does, I'll take'n' hit you a clip w'at'll put you ter bed 'fo' bed-time comes. Dat's w'at!”

“Lawdy! w'at I done gone en done ter Unk' Remus now?” asked 'Tildy, with a great affectation of innocent ignorance.

“I'm gwine ter put on my coat en take dat ar umbrell', en I'm gwine right straight up ter de big house en ax Miss Sally ef she sont dat kinder wud down yer, w'en she know dat chile sittin' yer 'longer me. I'm gwine ter ax her,” continued Uncle Remus, “en if she aint sont dat wud, den I'm gwine ter fetch myse'f back. Now, you des watch my motions.”

“Well, I year Miss Sally say she 'feard lightnin' gwine ter strak some'rs on de place,” said 'Tildy, in a tone which manifested her willingness to compromise all differences, “en den I axt 'er kin I come down yer, en den she say I better bring deze yer cloak en pairsol.”

“Now you dun brung um,” responded Uncle Remus, “you des better put um in dat cheer over dar, en take yo'se'f off. Thunder mighty ap' ter hit close ter whar deze here slick-head niggers is.”

But the little boy finally prevailed upon the old man to allow 'Tildy to remain, and after a while he put matters on a peace footing by inquiring if roosters crowed at night when it was raining.

“Dat dey duz,” responded Uncle Remus. “Wet er dry, dey flops der wings en wakes up all de neighbors. Law, bless my soul!” he exclaimed, suddenly, “w'at make I done gone en fergit 'bout Mr. Rooster?”

“What about him?” inquired the little boy.

“One time, 'way back yander,” said Uncle Remus, knocking the ashes off his hands and knees, “dey wuz two plan'ations right 'longside one er ne'r, en on bofe er deze plan'ations wuz a whole passel of fowls. Dey was mighty sociable in dem days, en it tu'n out dat de fowls on one plan'ation gun a party, w'ich dey sont out der invites ter de fowls on de 't'er plan'ation.

“W'en de day come, Mr. Rooster, he blow his hawn, he did, en 'semble um all tergedder, en atter dey 'semble dey got in line. Mr. Rooster, he tuck de head, en atter 'im come ole lady Hen en Miss Pullet, en den dar wuz Mr. Peafowl, en Mr. Tukkey Gobbler, en Mis Guinny Hen, en Miss Puddle Duck, en all de balance un um. Dey start off sorter raggedy, but 'twa'nt long 'fo' dey all kotch de step, en den dey march down by de spring, up throo de hoss-lot en 'cross by de gin-house, en 'twa'n't long 'fo' dey git ter whar de frolic wuz.

“Dey dance, en dey play, en dey sing. Mo' 'speshually did dey play en sing dat ar song w'ich it run on lak dis:

“Dey wuz gwine on dis away, havin' der 'musements, w'en, bimeby, ole Mr. Peafowl, he got on de comb er de barn en blow de dinner-hawn. Dey all wash der face en han's in de back-po'ch, en den dey went in ter dinner. W'en dey git in dar, dey don't see nothin' on de table but a great big pile er co'n-bread. De pones was pile up on pones, en on de top wuz a great big ash-cake. Mr. Rooster, he took at dis en he tu'n up he nose, en bimeby, atter aw'ile, out he strut. Ole Miss Guinny Hen, she watchin' Mr. Rooster motions, en w'en she see dis, she take'n' squall out, she did:

“ ‘
Pot-rack! Pot-rack!
Mr. Rooster gone back!
Pot-rack! Pot-rack!
Mr. Rooster gone back!'

“Wid dat dey all make a great ter-do. Miss Hen en Miss Pullet, dey cackle en squall, Mr. Gobbler, he gobble, en Miss Puddle Duck, she shake 'er tail en say,
quickity-quack-quack.
But Mr. Rooster, he ruffle up he cape, en march on out.

“Dis sorter put a damper on de yuthers, but 'fo' Mr. Rooster git outer sight en year'n dey went ter wuk on de pile w'at wuz 'pariently co'n-bread, en, lo en beholes, un'need dem pone er bread wuz a whole passel er meat en greens, en bake' taters, en bile' turnips. Mr. Rooster, he year de ladies makin' great 'miration, en he stop en look thoo de crack, en dar he see all de doin's en fixin's. He feel mighty bad, Mr. Rooster did, w'en he see all dis, en de yuther fowls dey holler en ax 'im fer ter come back, en he craw, w'ich it mighty empty, likewise, it up'n' ax 'im, but he mighty biggity en stuck up, en he strut off, crowin' ez he go; but he 'speunce er dat time done las' him en all er his fambly down ter dis day. En you neenter take my wud fer't, ne'r, kaze ef you'll des keep yo' eye open en watch, you'll ketch a glimse er ole Mr. Rooster folks scratchin' whar dey specks ter fine der rations, en mo' dan dat, dey'll scratch wid der rations in plain sight. Since dat time, dey aint none er de Mr. Roosters bin fool' by dat w'at dey see on top. Dey aint res' twel dey see w'at und' dar. Dey'll scratch spite er all creation.”

“Dat's de Lord's truth!” said 'Tildy, with unction. “I done seed um wid my own eyes. Dat I is.”

This was 'Tildy's method of renewing peaceful relations with Uncle Remus, but the old man was disposed to resist the attempt.

“You better be up yander washin' up dishes, stidder hoppin' down yer wid er whole packet er stuff w'at Miss Sally aint dreamp er sayin'.”

XII

As long as Uncle Remus allowed 'Tildy to remain in the cabin, the little boy was not particularly interested in preventing the perfunctory abuse which the old man might feel disposed to bestow upon the complacent girl. The truth is, the child's mind was occupied with the episode in the story of Mr. Benjamin Ram which treats of the style in which this romantic old wag put Mr. and Mrs. Wolf to flight by playing a tune upon his fiddle. The little boy was particularly struck with this remarkable feat, as many a youngster before him had been, and he made bold to recur to it again by asking Uncle Remus for all the details. It was plain to the latter that the child regarded Mr. Ram as the typical hero of all the animals, and this was by no means gratifying to the old man. He answered the little boy's questions as well as he could, and, when nothing more remained to be said about Mr. Ram, he settled himself back in his chair and resumed the curious history of Brother Rabbit:

“Co'se Mr. Ram mighty smart man. I aint 'spute dat; but needer Mr. Ram ner yet Mr. Lam is soon creeturs lak Brer Rabbit. Mr. Benjermun Ram, he tuck'n' skeer off Brer Wolf en his ole 'oman wid his fiddle, but, bless yo' soul, ole Brer Rabbit he gone en done wuss'n dat.”

“What did Brother Rabbit do?” asked the little boy.

“One time,” said Uncle Remus, “Brer Fox, he tuck'n' ax some er de yuther creeturs ter he house. He ax Brer B'ar, en Brer Wolf, en Brer 'Coon, but he aint ax Brer Rabbit. All de same, Brer Rabbit got win' un it, en he 'low dat ef he don't go, he speck he have much fun ez de nex' man.

“De creeturs w'at git de invite, dey tuck'n' 'semble at Brer Fox house, en Brer Fox, he ax um in en got um cheers, en dey sot dar en laugh en talk, twel, bimeby, Brer Fox, he fotch out a bottle er dram en lay 'er out on de side-bode, en den he sorter step back en say, sezee:

“ ‘Des step up, gentermens, en he'p yo'se'f,' en you better b'lieve dey he'p derse'f.

“W'iles dey wuz drinkin' en drammin' en gwine on, w'at you speck Brer Rabbit doin'? You des well make up yo' min' dat Brer Rabbit monst'us busy, kase he 'uz sailin' 'roun' fixin' up his tricks. Long time 'fo' dat, Brer Rabbit had bin at a bobbycue whar dey wuz a muster, en w'iles all de folks 'uz down at de spring eatin' dinner, Brer Rabbit he crope up en run off wid one er de drums. Dey wuz a big drum en a little drum, en Brer Rabbit he snatch up de littles' one en run home.

“Now, den, w'en he year 'bout de yuther creeturs gwine ter Brer Fox house, w'at do Brer Rabbit do but git out dis rattlin' drum en make de way down de road todes whar dey is. He tuck dat drum,” continued Uncle Remus, with great elation of voice and manner, “en he went down de road todes Brer Fox house, en he make 'er talk like thunner mix up wid hail. Hit talk lak dis:

“ ‘
Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum—diddybum!
'

“De creeturs, dey 'uz a-drinkin', en a-drammin', en a-gwine on at a terrible rate, en dey aint year de racket, but all de same, yer come Brer Rabbit:

“ ‘
Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum—diddybum!
'

“Bimeby Brer 'Coon, w'ich he allers got one year hung out fer de news, he up'n' ax Brer Fox w'at dat, en by dat time all de creeturs stop en lissen; but all de same, yer come Brer Rabbit:

“ ‘
Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum—diddybum!
'

“De creeturs dey keep on lis'nin', en Brer Rabbit keep on gittin' nigher, twel bimeby Brer 'Coon retch und' de cheer fer he hat, en say, sezee:

“ ‘Well, gents, I speck I better be gwine. I tole my ole 'oman dat I wont be gone a minnit, en yer 'tis 'way 'long in de day.'

“Wid dat Brer 'Coon, he skip out, but he aint git much furder dan de back gate, 'fo' yer come all de yuther creeturs like dey 'uz runnin' a foot-race, en ole Brer Fox wuz wukkin' in de lead.”

“Dar, now!” exclaimed 'Tildy, with great fervor.

“Yasser! dar dey wuz, en dar dey went,” continued Uncle Remus. “Dey tuck nigh cuts, en dey scramble over one er n'er, en dey aint res' twel dey git in de bushes.

“Ole Brer Rabbit, he came en down de road—
diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum
—en bless gracious! w'en he git ter Brer Fox house dey aint nobody dar. Brer Rabbit is dat owdacious, dat he hunt all 'roun' twel he fine de a'r-hole er de drum, en he put his mouf ter dat en sing out, sezee:

“ ‘Is dey anybody home?' en den he answer hisse'f, sezee, ‘Law, no honey—folks all gone.'

“Wid dat, ole Brer Rabbit break loose en laugh, he did, fit ter kill hisse'f, en den he slam Brer Fox front gate wide open, en march up ter de house. W'en he git dar, he kick de do' open en hail Brer Fox, but nobody aint dar, en Brer Rabbit he walk in en take a cheer, en make hisse'f at home wid puttin' his foots on de sofy en spittin' on de flo'.

“Brer Rabbit aint sot dar long 'fo' he ketch a whiff er de dram—”

“You year dat?” exclaimed 'Tildy, with convulsive admiration.

“—'Fo' he ketch a whiff er de dram, en den he see it on de side-bode, en he step up en drap 'bout a tumbeler full some'rs down in de neighborhoods er de goozle. Brer Rabbit mighty lak some folks I knows. He tuck one tumbeler full, en 'twa'n't long 'fo' he tuck 'n'er'n, en w'en a man do dis away,” continued Uncle Remus, somewhat apologetically, “he bleedz ter git drammy.”

“Truth, too!” said 'Tildy, by way of hearty confirmation.

“All des time de yuther creeturs wuz down in de bushes lissenin' fer de
diddybum
, en makin' ready fer ter light out fum dar at de drop uv a hat. But dey aint year no mo' fuss, en bimeby Brer Fox, he say he gwine back en look atter he plunder, en de yuther creeturs say dey b'leeve dey'll go 'long wid 'im. Dey start out, dey did, en dey crope todes Brer Fox house, but dey crope mighty keerful, en I boun' ef somebody'd 'a' shuck a bush, dem ar creeturs 'ud a nat'ally to' up de ye'th gittin' 'way fum dar. Yit dey still aint year no fuss, en dey keep on creepin' twel dey git in de house.

“W'en de git in dar, de fus' sight dey see wuz ole Brer Rabbit stannin' up by de dram-bottle mixin' up a toddy, en he wa'n't so stiff-kneed n'er, kase he sorter swage fum side ter side, en he look lak he mighty limbersome, w'ich, goodness knows, a man bleedz ter be limbersome w'en he drink dat kinder licker w'at Brer Fox perwide fer dem creeturs.

“W'en Brer Fox see Brer Rabbit makin' free wid he doin's dat away, w'at you speck he do?” inquired Uncle Remus, with the air of one seeking general information.

“I speck he cusst,” said 'Tildy, who was apt to take a vividly practical view of matters.

“He was glad,” said the little boy, “because he had a good chance to catch Brother Rabbit.”