Ren’s arms wrapped around me, pulling my body tight against him. “I don’t know how to believe you. Any of this. What else is there? This is who we are.”
“That doesn’t make it right. You know I wouldn’t abandon my pack unless I had to,” I said quietly. “Unless it was the only way to help them.”
His eyes met mine, strained and uncertain.
“We don’t have much time,” I said. “How did you get ahead of the others?”
He glanced in the direction from which we’d come. “There was an uproar when they found Flynn’s body, but I caught your scent and took off. The rest of them were still regrouping. My father’s pack. The elder Banes.”
He tensed and cold flooded my limbs.
“What about the Nightshades?” I asked.
“They’re being held for questioning.”
He caught me just as my muscles went limp and I collapsed. Images too hideous to face began to flash through my mind. My pack. My brother. Wraiths. My stomach turned over and I thought I would vomit.
Ren’s strong arms supported me while I sought the strength that had fled my body.
“What do they know, Calla?” he whispered.
“Nothing,” I said. “None of them know who Shay is or what I’ve learned. I didn’t want to endanger them . . .”
I shook away the horrible thoughts. “If anything happens to them now, it’s my fault. You have to help them. You’re the only one who can.”
“No. If you’re in trouble, I’ll help. I’ll go with you.” He gritted his teeth. “Even if that means protecting Shay.”
“You can’t go with me,” I argued. “I need you to go back. Create a diversion to buy us some time. Please, Ren.”
He sucked in a sharp breath and stared at me. I held his gaze, forcing strength into my voice.
“I need you to do this. Tell them we fought and you injured me badly enough that I ran, but Shay wasn’t with me, that I was leading you on a false trail. He’s who they want; they’ll follow you if you take them in another direction.”
The words were as difficult for me to say as I could see they were for Ren to hear.
His eyes were sad but resigned. “And where will you go?”
I couldn’t keep the fear out of my reply. “I don’t know.”
“Please don’t do this,” he whispered. “Come back with me. We’ll talk to Logan; there has to be an explanation. The Keepers need us; we’re the alphas. We’ll figure this out. They won’t hurt you. I won’t let them.”
“It won’t matter that I’m an alpha.” I drew a sharp breath. “Ren, listen to me. This isn’t just about Shay; there’s more. You have to know the truth. It wasn’t the Searchers who killed your mother; it was the Keepers.”
He stared at me.
“We found records at Rowan Estate, the history of the Vail packs,” I continued. “Your mother allied with the Searchers and led a Guardian revolt when you were an infant. She was executed because of it.”
“That’s impossible,” he whispered.
“It’s the truth,” I said. “I read it myself. The Keepers killed your mother. I’m so sorry.”
“No. It’s not true.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “It can’t be.”
“Help me. Please.”
Far in the distance a howl sounded, then another. I shuddered.
“I’m out of time,” I said. “What are you going to do?”
His eyes opened slowly. He lifted his hand and touched my cheek. “I’ll do what you want.”
“I owe you my life.” I turned my face, kissing his palm. “Tell them we fought but that Shay wasn’t here. He doesn’t have a human scent now. They wouldn’t know to track him when he smells like a wolf.”
“Tell me you’ll come back for the pack. For me.” His eyes were bright with tears. “I don’t want to lose you.”
I couldn’t speak. Tears welled in my eyes and I stepped away from him. But Ren caught me in his arms.
“Do you love him?” His eyes searched mine.
“Don’t ask me that,” I said, lips still burning from my confession to Shay, now stinging with this deceit. “This isn’t about love. It’s about survival.”
“No, Calla.” His voice became hushed. “This is only about love.”
And then he was kissing me. His lips moved over mine in a slow caress, hands running over my body, every touch begging me to stay. I could tell he believed he would never kiss me again. Part of me wanted to linger, clinging to him, knowing all the ways we were meant for each other, how well we fit. But another part tugged me away, already running through the forest, chasing after a fate unknown. I choked back a sob when Ren released me and turned away.
The charcoal gray wolf paused and looked back once more before disappearing into the trees. I picked up Shay’s trail and plunged through the snow. From behind me, I heard the lone cry of a wolf. The howl echoed as it rose toward the full moon, a sound full of agony and irreparable loss.
THIRTY-FOUR
SHAY WAS RUNNING THROUGH THE GARDENS
of Rowan Estate by the time I caught him.
I nipped at his heel.
You’re fast. I’m impressed.
An arc of shimmering snow crested around him when he skidded to a halt and whirled to face me.
Are you all right?
I’m fine.
I darted past him.
Don’t stop running, we need to hurry.
What happened with Ren?
He kept pace beside me.
He’s going to buy us a little more time.
We flew through the sculpted hedges and past the stillness of the marble fountains in the estate gardens.
Are you sure you can trust him?
I could hear the angry edge in his question.
Yes. Don’t worry about Ren, worry about getting us out of here. We haven’t made it yet.
We both shifted into human form when we reached the manor’s steps. Shay unlocked the door and grabbed my hand, and we ran to the stairs. Our footsteps rang in the empty corridors as we dashed through the east wing toward his room. Moonlight poured through the tall windows; long, spindly shadows ebbed and flowed over the walls and pooled like ink on the pale marble floors. All my nerves were screaming, but I managed not to jump when we passed the sculpture of the incubus.
Shay flung open the door to his room. “Okay, let’s grab what we need and get out of here.”
He grabbed a hiking pack from his closet while I paced by the door. Hands still full of clothes, he stopped and looked at me.
“Do you want to borrow some jeans and a sweater? They’d be too big but probably better than your dress.” He looked me up and down. “You’re stuck with whatever shoes you’re wearing, though. Sorry.”
My cheeks burned as I glanced down at my dress, its hem soaked by melting snow and almost black from the dirt of the forest floor. “It’s okay. They’re ballet flats, so it’s not torture to walk in them. But changing into your clothes sounds good.”
He watched me for a long moment, and the heat spread from my cheeks, tiny flames stroking my skin.
Finally he cleared his throat and tossed me a pair of jeans and a black lamb’s wool sweater. “Here, these are on the smaller side. I’ll . . . uh . . . keep my back turned while you change.”
“Okay,” I murmured, trying to stretch my hands around to unbutton my dress. After three failed attempts I swore, wondering how Bryn had expected me to ever get out of the gown. Then I thought of Ren and blushed, full of guilt and conflicting desires.
“You okay back there?” Shay asked, but kept his back to me.
My heart began to pound. “I need you to unbutton my dress.”
“What?” Though I couldn’t see it, I could easily envision the thunderstruck expression on his face.
“My mom designed the dress, and Bryn helped me put it on. It has a bazillion tiny buttons and I can’t reach them. Please just do it so we can get out of here.”
“Uh. Okay.” He came to my side, but I immediately turned my back on him.
He had about half of them undone when he paused and I heard him suck in a sharp, startled breath.
“What?” I asked, turning slightly, but I couldn’t twist my neck far enough to see his face.
“You’re not wearing a bra.” His words came out with a rush of breath.
“It’s a specially tailored bodice. The bra is built in,” I said. “Come on, Shay, just get the gown off me!”
He was silent for a moment and I felt him continue to unbutton the dress. He began to laugh.
“What is it now?” I snapped.
“That’s not exactly the way I imagined you asking me to take your clothes off,” he said softly.
“The way you imagined what?” I gasped, trying to step away from him, but he held the now-open back of my dress firmly in his grasp.
One of his hands released my dress and slipped around my waist while the other touched the bare skin between my shoulder blades and slowly moved along my spine toward my lower back. I shivered, closing my eyes. His lips pressed against the curve between my neck and shoulder. Soothing warmth pooled at the site of his gentle kiss, poured over my shoulders, and cascaded through my limbs. The world fell away, as it always did when he touched me.
His hand slid beneath the loosened bodice from my back to my bare stomach, pulling me against him. I could feel every inch of his body touching the length of mine, the strength of his wanting matching my own, breath for breath. His fingers slid down and I gasped. My eyes wandered to his bed. It was so close. He could easily carry me there.
We can’t. Not like this, not with everything that’s happening.
“Don’t,” I murmured, head and body battling each other. “Please don’t.”
I twisted away from his lips, fighting the flood of emotions his soft touch provoked, needing to quell the ache his hands had left lingering deep within me. The faces of my packmates passed before my tightly closed eyes. Faces I feared I might never see again. Ren’s face. I swallowed the thickness in my throat, pulling the bodice tight across my chest.
“Right. I remember. No kissing without loss of limbs. My limbs, that is,” he said. “Sorry, I was caught up in the moment.”
Shay resumed his task of unbuttoning in a more-chaste manner.
I cleared my throat, wanting to sound more confident than I felt. “It’s okay. We just need to hurry. No distractions.”
His hands dropped from the fabric. “You should be able to wiggle out of that now. I’ll wait in the hall.”
“That’s probably a good idea.”
I shimmied out of the dress. With considerable relief I pulled on Shay’s jeans and sweater and then braided my hair, ripping a ribbon from my dress to tie it.
A faint cracking sound reached my ears, sharp and brittle like too much weight on thin ice. My breath came more quickly.
“Calla,” Shay called from the hall. “Without your nakedness to distract me, I’m remembering that we’re in serious trouble. Hurry, please.”
“All set.” I grabbed the Keeper’s text from Shay’s nightstand and left the room, throwing it on top of his hastily packed clothes. “Haldis?”
“Already in here.” He patted the bag. “It was hidden in the back of my closet.”
“Let’s get out of here.” I grabbed his hand and we ran back down the hallway. When we turned into the main corridor, I froze. He paused beside me.
“What’s wrong?”
I pivoted, staring at the thin flakes of marble that littered the floor.
“Where is the statue?” I murmured. “The incubus?”
“What?” His voice was hoarse.
A soft rustle like the wind lifting a pile of dead leaves came from above us. I glanced up.
The incubus grinned at me, spreading its wings and unhooking its talon-like nails from the ceiling.
“Run!” I shoved Shay forward and shifted into wolf form. In the next moment a golden brown wolf ran beside me.
Our toenails scraped the marble floor as we tore down the hallway. Something whistled past my shoulder and the incubus’s spear clattered on the stones a few feet in front of me. The sound of beating wings filled my ears. Shay glanced over his shoulder.
There’s more than one chasing us.
How many?
Another spear sailed past us.
I’m not sure.
We reached the top of the staircase and I yelped. The chimera crouched halfway down the steps, its serpent tail hissing and weaving hypnotically while a forked tongue darted from its mouth and its lion head roared, its mane of snakes striking at the air, hundreds of needle-sharp teeth flashing. Two succubi hovered in the air above the chimera. They shrieked at the sight of us. One drew its bow taut and loosed an arrow at me. I threw my body to the side as the arrow buzzed past, scrambled to my feet, and ran along the balcony with Shay at my heels.
I bolted toward the corridor that led to the west wing. A rush of sighs like the collective release of breath wafted through the hall, making me skid to an abrupt halt. A long moan echoed around us; it became louder and louder, rising to the ceiling in a dense fog of wretched sound.
What was that?
The terror in Shay’s question was as shrill as nails on a chalkboard.