Nil (29 page)

“You did good, man,” I heard Thad tell Jason.

Then Thad’s arms wrapped around me. “Hey,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s okay. Natalie made it because of you.”

“No,” I said. “It wasn’t because of me. It was luck. But”—I bit my lip, furious with myself for not being ready to say good-bye to Thad—“never mind.” Taking a deep breath, I hugged him fiercely, then pulled away.

Thad looked at me, frowning. “You’re wrong,” he said. “Your charts are good. Your theory works.”

I was too shaken to argue.

Thad reached for my hand. “Let’s get Nat’s stuff and go.”

“I’ll get it,” I said. Without waiting, I followed in Natalie’s invisible footprints, leading to her clothes. As I lifted my sandal, an object fell and struck the rock with a brittle
crack
. It was Natalie’s white shell bracelet, the one she wore 24/7.

I picked up the bracelet, picturing Natalie twisting it as she asked,
You didn’t find anything else with the clothes, did you?

Now I understood exactly what she’d hoped I’d found. When I’d snatched up Kevin’s shorts, something white had gone flying. Something as white and fragile as the bracelet in my hand.

“Kevin made that for her,” Thad said. He’d come up beside me.

“And he had one, too,” I said, knowing it was true. “Like you made our necklaces.” I swallowed, knowing one day I would pick Thad’s necklace off the ground, keeping him close until I could meet him on the other side.

And it could have been today.

Willing my hands not to shake, I slipped Natalie’s bracelet into my satchel. Then I gathered her clothes, packed them next to my maps, and turned to Thad, knowing there was something I had to do. One last thing to keep my promise to Talla, because it’s what Natalie would have wanted.

“I’m ready,” I said. “Can I pick the route?”

“Lead on.” Thad gestured for me to go first.

Turning around, I retraced the route I’d first walked thirty-three days ago.

Thirty-three days.

Thirty-three days was nothing, and yet it felt like a lifetime. Thad had sixty-six days, and it seemed like nothing. We’d be lucky to have sixty-six days.

For all I knew, all we had left together was twenty-four hours.

CHAPTER

42

THAD

DAY 299, AFTER NOON

Seeing Nat catch that gate had weirded Charley out. I knew her well enough now to distinguish an easy Charley silence from an anguished one, and this silence was anguished. I figured she’d stew until we were alone, then spill.

Charley led us through the red rocks. Hiking through the rubble was no picnic, and I couldn’t wait to hit the black.

Just shy of a massive crack, she stopped. “This is where I found Kevin’s clothes.”

She pulled out Natalie’s shell bracelet and held it tight. Then she dropped it into the deep crevice. The bracelet flashed white, then disappeared. “When I picked up Kevin’s clothes, his bracelet fell into that crack. It just seemed like the two bracelets should be together, you know?” She shrugged. “And now they are.”

The simple goodness of her gesture surprised me, and the rightness of it, too. I realized Charley understood Nil more than I realized, even the dark part.

Especially the dark part.

I slid my hand into hers. “Let’s go.”

When she didn’t move, I asked, “Charley?”

“Thad”—she spoke slowly, like she was thinking out loud—“you said the sister drawing of the Man in the Maze was near the rain forest. Was it carved in black rock?”

“Yeah.”

“And you landed by the base of that mountain?” She pointed to Mount Nil.

“Yeah.” I wondered where Charley was going with these questions.

“Did you see any carvings there?”

“No.”

She looked thoughtful. “But you weren’t looking for one either, right?”

“Right.”

“I want to head that way. Track the black lava field to the mountain and fill out my maps, checking out any large rock formations for carvings along the way. If we ration it, we have food for one more day, and plenty of water. What do y’all say?” Her face dared me to refuse. For his part, Jason looked curious. I think he was just happy to be included.

“Okay,” I agreed. “There’s a cave about ten meters above the mountain base, overlooking the meadow. It’s small but safe. We can crash there tonight. But unless we find food, we have to head back first thing tomorrow.” Watching Charley nod, my gut told me this impromptu trek was about more than just mapping and carvings. Something was eating at her. And maybe more than one thing.

We veered southeast until we intercepted the southern black flow, then turned inland, toward the mountain. The farther east we went, the greater the wildlife. Clumps of trees cropped up. One copse sheltered a nervous giraffe. A pair of wild dogs spooked a rabbit, which was disappointing since I would’ve liked to have caught it for dinner. On the upside, the dogs left us alone.

Every rock formation we passed was just rock. No carvings, no clues. If Charley was disappointed to find nothing but rock, she hid it well. But the black rock tour slowed us down, and as daylight faded, we were well short of the cave.

“Time to stop,” I said reluctantly. “We need firewood and a secure spot, because we won’t make the cave before dark.”

As Jason frowned, I eyed the last clump of black rock. Dropped by the volcano in a rough semicircle, the chest-high rock offered marginal protection from wind and wildlife. Not ideal, but better than nothing.

“There,” I said, pointing.

The mountain loomed over us as we camped for the night. We collected wood, made a fire, and shared a beggar’s dinner of dried fruit and nuts. Then we hunkered down as the stars popped out. Jason took first watch.

Charley and I sat by the fire, close to Jason but out of earshot.

“You’ve been quiet all day,” I said. “I know you’ll miss Natalie, but she made it, eh?”

“It’s not that.” Eyes on the fire, Charley toyed with her shell necklace. Keeping quiet, I didn’t press, and after a long moment, Charley continued. “For a second, I thought it was a triple,” she whispered in a constricted voice. “That a third gate would flash, after Natalie’s. And it would be yours. I’d never considered I might have to say good-bye to you right then. In minutes, not months.” She looked at me, her expression fierce. “I wasn’t ready, not yet. But I promise, the next time noon rolls around, I will be.”

In minutes, not months.

I stared at Charley as her words sank in. Months weren’t long enough. Minutes were a joke.

“Oh, my gracious,” she said, watching me with wide eyes, “you didn’t think of it either! You didn’t consider that if Nil sent a triple, the third gate was yours, Mr. Leader with Priority?”

“Not really.”
Not at all
. And I couldn’t believe I’d missed it.

She nodded, looking at our hands entwined together. “I just—I want to have a proper good-bye. I want—” Charley broke off, shaking her head slightly.

“No regrets,” I whispered, filling in her blank. “Nothing left unsaid.”

“Exactly.” She lifted her face to mine. “No regrets.”

Her hand in mine, we sat tight together, cloaked in darkness, just us against the clock. And in that quiet moment, I knew exactly where I was headed, I just had to work through the best route to get there.

“My dad and I had a fight,” I said quietly. “My last morning in Whistler. A blowout after breakfast, right after I told him I was dropping out of school.”

I closed my eyes, remembering. My dad had grabbed my helmet, holding it hostage as he forced me to listen.
Drop out?
he’d roared.
For this?
He’d shaken my helmet in my face.
You want to throw away your future FOR THIS?

I’d snatched my helmet and held it high.
This IS my future
.
Not a windowless cubby, crunching numbers, eating what-ifs for lunch.
Then I’d turned my back on my dad, grabbed my board, and stormed out, too furious to make my case. Instead of telling my dad that my future was boarding, built on a present packed with daily coaching and private tutoring, I’d left him with hateful words and a cheap shot to boot. I knew I needed to apologize, but I was too pissed off to go back. I figured I’d set things right later, giving myself time to cool off, giving him time to come around.

Later never came. Regret was an ugly bastard, one I’d lived with every day since.

“And?” Charley prompted gently.

“I screwed up. The thing is, my dad quit the pro skiing circuit for school when my mom got pregnant with me. He’s an accountant, and he hates it. Going pro was his dream, and I know he regrets giving it up. But I’m not him. I’d planned it out. I had a tutor lined up, and I was actually going to graduate early, but he never gave me the chance to tell him. And I planned to go to university in the off season. But after ten months of cooling off, I realize
I’m
the one who walked away. I had a chance to tell him my plan, but I didn’t. I walked out.”

“But—” Charley started.

I placed a single finger over her lips. “My point is,” I whispered, for her ears only, “I was waiting for the perfect time to lay out my plan, and I missed it. I waited too long. I won’t make that mistake with you. I keep assuming you know how I feel, even though I don’t say it. There is no perfect time, especially not here, where every moment could be our last.” I smiled, still blown away by the one girl who made me feel more alive than I’d known was possible, especially in a place where death was king.

“I love you, Charley. More than I’ve loved anyone ever, more than I knew I could. I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, when you strode out on the sand looking like a seriously hungry badass, worried about your goat when you should have been worried about yourself. I’ve loved you for weeks. It just took me some time to realize it.” My voice was raw. “So now you know.”

Charley smiled. Reaching up, she traced the tiny scar over my eyebrow. “I already knew,” she said softly. “You’ve shown me a million times how much you love me, constantly protecting me from this.” She swept her hand around us. “And while you’ve been busy being the best island guide ever, with full Nil-protection services, I’ve been protecting you here.” She placed her hand against my chest, over my heart. “Because I love you, too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone ever, more than I knew I could. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you walking down my beach, guarding Jason from scary wild things like me. I’ve known it since Day One.” Charley grinned.

“And,” she said, “if we’re practicing a proper good-bye, then I think it needs a kiss, don’t you?” She smiled her sly Charley smile, the one that made me feel like we just might make it after all.

“If you insist.” I grinned. As I moved to kiss her, a massive roar split the air.

I leaped to my feet alongside Charley.

“We’re screwed,” Jason called. A few meters away, he stood rigid, his back to us, spear raised as he scanned the darkness. “We’re sitting ducks.”

“Charley,” I said, sweeping my eyes around the darkness, “make sure the fire doesn’t go out.”

No one slept. The night burst with noise and silence, and the three of us were caught in the dead zone, trapped inside our black rock prison.
Rats in a maze
, I thought. A hyena cackled, dogs barked, and faceted eyes glittered in the darkness. Backs to the fire, Jason and I lobbed rocks at the eyes and the darkness using cloth slingshots, with Charley feeding us rock ammo. Finally, one rock connected. From the whimpers, if I had to guess, I’d say a wild dog went down. The keening death cries and intermittent roars rubbed our nerves raw.

The eyes retreated but the sounds remained, and when we weren’t launching rocks, we waved torches at the dark maw of night. It was like trying to stop an avalanche with an umbrella, hoping to be breathing when it finally stopped.

Dawn broke before we did.

“Well, that was fun,” Jason said, stretching.

“I’m sorry for dragging y’all out here.” Charley looked miserable, but we probably all did after last night’s crappy no-sleep-a-thon. “This was a mistake. Give me a sec to do my business, then I’ll be ready to head back.” She walked over to a large rock, the one resting alone near where the trees thickened, like a marker for a trailhead. A black behemoth sporting green groundcover, the mountain’s slope began a stone’s throw away—if you threw hard, which for me right then would have been tough. My shoulder ached from last night’s artillery.

I followed Charley, knife out, unwilling to let her out of my sight. Privacy took a back seat to safety. But as she approached the back rock face, I scanned our perimeter. So far, so good.
All quiet on the southern front
.

“Thad!” Charley’s voice snapped my focus. “C’mere!”

She was frantically ripping vines from the rock, and soon I understood what drove her. Flat and etched, the rock bore another carving. Same maze, same
12
at the top, only this carving had two lines bisecting the maze, placing the man dead center in the target.
Bull’s-eye
, I thought.

Charley practically glowed. “This is what I was hoping to find! Another carving!” She pulled a sheet of paper from her satchel and placed it over the carving. The thin paper was almost translucent, nowhere near the thickness of our clothes; it made me appreciate Jillian’s mad skills with paper trees. Using charcoal, Charley rubbed the paper, pressing until her paper turned black and the white maze leaped out in sharp relief.

Something bumped my ankle. I pivoted to protect Charley, already in motion even as my head canceled the threat.

A black kitten wobbled near my leg. I thought of Burton, wondering how he was faring in the land of hidden hyenas and wild dogs.
Maybe he’s home
, I thought,
wherever that is. Maybe he’s even in Canada
. Burton on snow made me smile.

Charley misinterpreted my expression.

“I know! It’s so cool, right?” She rolled up her rubbing and tucked it away with her maps. “Let’s go. I want to make it back before nightfall, and if there’s time, go by the Arches.”