Authors: Jamie Dossie
“Don’t get nasty Ms. Thang, I just know you suppose to be at work, and not up in my shop. So with that damn attitude, why don’t you just take your little hot shit ass on back to that high end ass salon you work at, and leave the slumming to us.” Man, I sure do know how to ruffle Jerome feathers. He always tripping on me. Ever since I stopped doing hair up in his shop, and started working Downtown. I met Curtis one-day at Starbucks, and told him I could line him up just a little bit better. Next thing I know, I was at his home with his dick in my mouth. I am now working in an upscale salon.
Hell for all I know he fucking the owner, but hey as long as he fucking me too, and passing that damn money my way, he can do whatever he wants as long as he don’t fuck over me. Looking around the shop, this shit hasn’t changed much in the last year. Same two wash bowls, his mommas old as couch in the so called waiting area; which is really the left side of the entrance as you walk in. Flat screen on the wall playing what; porn. Hair all on the floor, and him and Ms. Jaki sharing insults as always. Oh, let me not forget the two stylist chairs that Charles ass tries to run, but I wasn’t having that shit. Keep your ass in your lane, I will do the same. Jerome ass can smoke some hair tho, he will lay it, dye it, and fry it to the side. Meeting him was funny.
When I took a much needed vacation to New Orleans, I saw him on Bourbon street cat calling every fine ass man he saw, not necessarily for a good time. After he came out the closet to his family, they kicked his ass out and he was fucking for money just to survive. But he was hooking up some damn hair along the way. We both on Bourbon Street acting a fool, making cat calls and getting cat calls. When I told him I was from Chicago, he really wanted to come back with me, and as they say the rest is history. “Man Jerome ain’t nobody got time to hear what you saying today! Hey Ms. Jaki, looking good girl.”
“You know you my boo Alexis,” Jerome grinning all big and shit trying to win me over with that smile. “Man! Put those thirty-twos away, while I hang up my jacket.”
Pulling a chair out the back-room; which is the stock room, break room, and sometimes fuck room. I wouldn’t change Jerome for no one in the world. We know each other’s secrets and shit, and I love his Nawlins’ accent. I could talk to him all day, just to hear him talk. I would never tell him that shit though. It may go to his head.
“Alright Ms. Hot Shit, where is that fine ass man at you fucking? Can you believe her ass Jacki, she leaves us for him. I can’t believe this shit! So spill it I know you got some drama to tell.” Look at these two, always trying to hit me up for information when it come to my relationships. Jerome sitting here with his hand across his forehead like he got fever or something, and Ms. Jaki being his amen corner. These two are ridiculous. After clearing my throat, while they looked at me intensely. I almost didn’t want to speak but what the hell.
“If you two hens must know, yes me and Curtis is just fine. Yes we fuck every chance we get. Yes he has fucked me in the ass. Yes I have swallowed his nut, and yes I hope to be moving in with him soon.” These heffas looking at me like I said something wrong. “Why y’all looking at me like that?” I asked. “We know all that Ms. Thang, hell you stay horny…We want to know has he fucked up yet?” No Jerome didn’t ask me no shit like that. “Fuck y’all!” I shouted with an attitude.
“Don’t get mad at us, hell we just asked a question. And since when do you trip out on us for saying some shit like that?” Jerome asked. “That was a fucked up question you asked Jerome damn!” I saw Jaki gathering her things. Every time Jerome and I get into a heated debate, she always take off running like a bat out of hell. So I just had to ask her why she was leaving. “Umm Jaki you look like you just got here and now you are leaving. What’s up with that?”
“Well if you must know Ms. Thang I am running out to get some breakfast for all of us and let you and Jerome have y’all little talk.” Damn! She gave me two snaps and a circle, grabbed her purse, and sashayed on up outta the salon. I looked at Charles knowing we was about to finish this conversation. “Jerome…” What the hell did he just cut me off? I am in mid stride to ask him something, and Jaki ass interrupts as always. “Wait Alexis, we joke like this a lot. I didn’t realize that he meant so much to you. I mean after all, you are still sleeping with other people. Not throwing shade, but I am stating the facts.”
Jerome watched me intensely, knowing that he can read me like a fucking book. I didn’t mean to snap on him, but damn it! I don’t need the jokes right now, when it comes to a man that I am seriously in love with. “It’s cool Jerome. I should have told you how I really felt about him, instead of acting like it was nothing, but I just didn’t want to get to close to fast. Hell, we both know how that story usually turns out.” Sharing a laugh with him was good. All he wants for me is to be happy, and all I want for him is to be happy.
“Well Ms. Alexis. Do what you will; with whomever you want. I want you happy, and if you happy, I am happy. Gurl, in this life, we live. None of us are promised tomorrow, so we all should be doing what makes us happy.” No words formed, but the buzzing of my cell phone going off rapidly in my damn Vince Camuto purse. It was driving me insane. I tried to ignore it earlier, but damn! I am trying to talk shit with Jerome. Guess I gotta answer it damn! Pulling my phone out, I see it is five missed texted messages. Who the fuck wants me that damn bad? Why they blowing me up in a text, and won’t call.
Unlocking my screen, who do I see? Curtis ass blowing me back to back practically. First text:
Where are you?
Second text:
Call me as soon as you get this message.
Third text:
See that’s why I don’t do relationships. Nobody can keep it one hundred.
Fourth text:
Where are you?
Fifth text:
I am trying to keep calm, but you are making it very damn difficult to do so!
Oh shit! Let me call his ass right now. He done lost his damn mind, and I don’t have time for no bullshit. See, just like a man; you don’t answer him right back, he lose his damn mind. He will never say it, but hell, when pussy talks it can fuck up a man’s mind.
“Jerome excuse me. I am about to step in the back and make a phone call.” I briefly said. “It’s cool boo I gotta get ready for my next client anyway.” I step my ass in the back, look through my call log and find his name and press call.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
“You have reached Curtis leave me a message.”
“Hey baby, I am returning your call, my phone was in my purse and I didn’t hear it. I will call you back a little later…Oh, and call next time instead of all these damn text messages.”
I didn’t even wait for the beep. I just hung the fuck up. The nerve of his ass texting me with that crazy shit, then don’t answer. Man, I don’t have time to fuss and fight tonight. This is a clear indication that I need to take my ass to my own damn apartment tonight. “You alright Ms. Thang? You go in the back smiling now you look like you are ready to chew nails.”
“Man Jerome, I get a fucking text from Curtis and then when I call, he don’t even answer. He do this shit to me the entire fucking time blow me up and then when I reach out to him by calling. He don’t even answer.” Is his ass smirking at me, as I talk what the hell is so damn funny? “Ummm. Why are you smiling and shit, Jerome?” I asked. “I am smiling at your ass, gurl please, he text you and shit have you return his call, and then he not answer. Why didn’t you just text him back? Hell you and I both know he wasn’t gonna answer because he pissed. He do it all the time. Next time unless he call you, I wouldn’t return shit for that simple reason…Yup I am petty, so what.”
Jerome can be very damn petty, but he always have a point. Curtis does this shit all the damn time. He will text, and when I call, he won’t answer. Hell! He probably only do that shit to pull me away. From whatever he thinks is holding my attention. “Yeah. You are right Jerome. He do this shit every time, and then I am the one sitting here with the attitude. I have already told myself that I am going to my own damn house tonight. I don’t want to have to argue with him tonight.” Jerome, nodding his head in approval, made me smile. No matter what, I know he got my damn back.
“Well Jerome luv, I am gonna get out of your hair. I know you got work to do, and all this beauty is nothing but a damn distraction for your ass.” We both laughed out loud at my statement, which it happens to be true. “Biotch please! Maybe before but now, no way. Anyway, this client I got coming in here, she gets on my damn nerves, so please stay. Especially if you don’t have work your damn self. You can stay here and kick it with me until I am done. Then we can go get some Margaritas.”
I guess he was right. When I am usually off, I either go shopping or to the shop, and do walk-ins, but not today. I will hang with my family. “Oh shit, here comes Queen Bitch now.” Jerome was looking through the blinds when he said that, and started shaking his head. Damn! When she walked in, I saw a bad ass body. It’s like her body was designed in a factory. She look like she was moving in slow motion, coming through the damn door. Long ringlets of jet black hair; shit her hair didn’t even look like it needed to be done, but whoever she is, she is one bad mother fucker.
`
INDIGO 6
Every single time I come on this side of town, I be ready to pass out, and the hood is not where I want to be, but damn it! If Charles didn’t smoke some weave. I wouldn’t even be here. I am gonna have to see if I can get him to buy, or rent some property in a better neighborhood. My Real Estate license not only got me more shit than them dicks I was with, but I am able to help folks like Jerome move from the hood to a better place. Shit! I thought when I was done with Goldie, it was a done deal, but after seeing Jasmine ass at the store not too long ago; lawd that shit sparked my interest with Goldie ass again.
Knowing damn well it shouldn’t, but if anyone know good dick, like I know good dick, that nigga right there got some good ass dick. I bet she don’t even know what to do with that motherfucker either. Shit! Just thinking about his ass, got my pussy doing the percolator. Let me shake this shit off my mind and get my ass on to this shop before I make a fucking phone call or some shit. Walking up in the beauty shop, immediately to my left was that ratty ass couch. I told him he needs to put some chairs in here or something. What the fuck, this shit is so damn ghetto. “Hey Jerome hunny.” We give air kisses like we always do, and air hugs. He is a real cool person, but damn! I don’t need to be hugging every damn person I am cool with. “Heyyyy Biotch!” He greets me with the two snaps and head twirl.
Jerome ass is so fucking entertaining. “Jerome, this gonna be my last damn time coming down here. You need to think about getting you another place. You are no longer the kitchen beautician. Your ass need to be right downtown where the rich bitches at.” His eyes lit up because he knows I am right. I am a bitch this I know, but I know my shit when it comes to business. A gay man in the downtown area of Chicago, whipping up folks hair is hot shit. “Don’t start that shit Indigo. I love hanging with my people down here, and we are just fine.”
“Girlfriend, would you tell his ass it’s time to upgrade. Hell, he can smoke some hair and he damn sho’ don’t charge like he for the people. I am sorry. I’m Indigo and you are?” “I’m Alexis, me and Jerome go back a long way. And I must admit it Jerome, she ain’t telling you nothing the rest of us haven’t said already. It’s time to up- grade baby,” She said. “See finally, someone around here agrees with me.” Damn! Got me wailing my arms in the air. It’s like Jerome don’t get it. Fuck this ghetto shit out here! Go somewhere; where your skills will truly be recognized. This shit makes no sense to me, and apparently it don’t make sense to Alexis either.
“Y’all bitches getting on my damn nerves. I will think about it, and let y’all know what I think. So in the meantime, in between time, Indigo get your ass over here so I can rock this hair gurl.”
SMACK!
Every time his ass speak, he always gotta smack his damn lips. Especially when he serious about something. “While you smacking them damn lips of yours, let’s get started on my damn hair. I really don’t have all damn day to be up in here.”
“Ummm. No the fuck you didn’t miss thang, gonna
TRY
and rush me in my own damn shop; the nerve of motherfuckers.”
SMACK
“Okay Jerome, as long as you please stop smacking, and do some work we will be good.”
Got my hell to the nawl woman stance on; hands on hips, applying weight on one leg, and neck rolling. Hell, He ain’t gonna be smacking his lips too many more times. His smack is the same as my neck roll. It’s ghetto for, ‘I am not playing with your ass.’
Walking my ass over to the hair chair, Jerome starts to take my damn weave out and I ask this other woman, who was she? I don’t give two fucks I like to know the kind of people I am around just in case I gotta open a can of whoop ass on someone. Hell! These motherfuckers be fooled by the red bottoms. Like I won’t go in on their asses. So while Jerome is working his magic, I get in this woman’s business real damn quick. “Well Alexis, are you and Jerome from the same parts of town and what not?” I asked. “Yes you can say that.” I can’t believe this chick all up in my business. That shit may fly with these motherfuckers, who don’t mind her all in their shit, but being from the Chi, we don’t get down like that. We mind our own fucking business. Unless someone gives up information, then we speak on it. Hell! Even then you got to be careful shit…motherfuckers are sensitive about certain shit.