“Oh?” Cyril said, the word dripping with sarcasm. “I cannot think what you could p-possibly wish to say to m-me.”
“To begin with,” Nicholas said, trying to keep a hold on his temper, “I would like to thank you.”
“Thank me?” Cyril said with surprise. “F-for what?”
“For a number of things. For all you have done here, which has been considerable. And for the return of the bedroom furniture and your hard work there too. You did an excellent job. I was mightily impressed.”
Cyril flushed a deep red.
“And I’d like to thank you for looking after Georgia while I was ill, and Pascal. You acted with honor and I am grateful to you.”
“Thank you,” he muttered.
“Not at all. There is one small matter which I think I should address, however, and don’t bother flying into the boughs over it. It has come to my attention that you’ve been exaggerating your … ah … your relationship with Lily. I can quite understand why, as she’s a pretty thing, but it is making both her and Martin unhappy. If you want a woman, it’s easy enough to arrange.”
“How d-dare you!” Cyril hissed, leaping to his feet, his eyes flashing with anger. “How d-dare you speak of such things to m-me? Do you think I am s-some innocent? And you, corrupt as you are, offering to f-find me a woman, that’s laughable.”
“Ah, so. The gloves are off, are they? Very well, Cyril. Then it’s time for plain speaking.”
“As you w-wish. But j-just remember you invited it.”
“I not only invited it, I welcome it. So let’s have it out once and for all. Just what have you been told I did that caused your father to send me away?”
Cyril looked at him with contempt. “D-do you think I don’t know the truth? P-perhaps you hope I think it was a g-gambling offense, or maybe that you impregnated one of the ch-chambermaids? Wake up, N-Nicholas. I know all about your d-debauchery, what you d-did to Jacqueline.”
“Do you? But then, no one has bothered to mention that the whole thing was fabricated.”
“Why do you try to lie about it n-now? D-do you think I will believe you?”
“I have no idea. It’s a complicated situation. I’m not surprised you believe the old story, for after all, your father did.”
“What you d-did half-destroyed his health. I d-don’t know why you b-bothered to come back.”
“I came back because he asked me back, Cyril. He wrote to me in India and asked me to come home. And so I came.”
Cyril went white as a ghost. “No—I d-don’t believe it.”
“Would you like to see the letter?” Nicholas went to the table where he kept his papers and opened a leather box. He withdrew the sheet and handed it to Cyril, who was standing frozen, an expression of real dismay in his eyes.
“Do read it. It’s only two lines.”
Cyril glanced over the page and handed it back to Nicholas, not meeting his eyes.
“I don’t know what happened to change his mind,” Nicholas said. “I do know that was the night he fell ill. Do you really think he would have asked me to come home if he believed I had raped his wife?”
Cyril said nothing.
“Cyril, surely you must know what Jacqueline is like by now. I have no idea what your life has been like at Ravenswalk, but I cannot imagine it has been very happy. I was very upset when I met her after your father had married her, for I knew she would not make a good mother to you.”
“Certainly not a m-mother,” Cyril spat.
“I thought not,” he said, putting the letter down on the mantelpiece. “And one of my greatest regrets about leaving England was leaving you, for I loved you very much and worried about your happiness.”
“You expect me to b-believe all this d-drivel? You expect me to s-swallow this s-sad tale of poor Nicholas, unfairly m-maligned? You expect me to believe you c-cared about me? If you had, you would n-never have d-done what you did. Never! You think y-you’re so f-forceful, so handsome that you c-can take anything you want. You m-must have thought she’d j-just give in to you. You did, d-didn’t you?”
“That’s not how it happened,” Nicholas said quietly.
“So—you admit something happened b-between you.”
“Yes. That much is true.”
“Oh, G-God. You are d-despicable. Now you will try to m-make it sound as if she w-was willing, as if she w-wanted you.”
“Yes.”
“L-liar! Liar!” he shouted. “She never wanted you. N-never!’’
“Cyril, I don’t know why the thought upsets you so much. It was not my idea, believe me. It was the last thing in the world I wanted.” Nicholas raked his hand through his hair. “Jacqueline had been after me for weeks—she was like a bitch in heat. There was no getting away from her. Every time I turned a corner, she was there with her smiles and insinuations. My God, I even found myself hiding in a closet one day when I heard her coming, just to avoid her. Can you imagine it? Hiding in a broom closet at the age of nineteen? God, I couldn’t wait to escape back to university. And how was I supposed to behave around Uncle William, when his wife was chasing me like a light-skirt, exposing herself at every opportunity? I couldn’t meet his eye across the dinner table, not with Jacqueline trying to paw me with her foot under the table. He must have thought I’d developed a nervous condition, what with the way I was moving my chair around to avoid her.”
Cyril’s face was stained with color, and Nicholas suspected he saw a glint of tears in his eyes. “It … it is not t-true,” he said. “N-not true. She h-hates you.”
“Yes. Because I rejected her.”
“You
r-rejected
her?
That I will n-not believe.”
“It is the truth. The night in question, I’d gone to bed early, for I had important business to discuss with your father the following day and I wanted a clear head. I woke at about two to find Jacqueline in my bed, very much uninvited. I was very angry, and I threw her out. She was resentful, and humiliated, and frightened that I would tell your father, so she turned the tables on me and accused me of raping her.”
“I d-don’t believe you!” he cried. “I know the t-truth!”
“Cyril, think. Really think. I am not a stupid man. Nor are you. I would no more have taken my uncle’s wife to bed than I would take my own sister to bed, if I had one. Do you understand? It would not only have been monumentally stupid, but also morally wrong, for so many reasons that I won’t even bother to go into it. And I most certainly would never force myself on a woman, any woman. Ever.”
“You’re j-just trying to t-twist it to m-make yourself sound b-better. And anyway, she w-wasn’t related. N-not properly. N-not by blood.”
“What the hell difference does that make?” Nicholas said, seeing no sense in the statement. “She was a member of my family. It comes down to the same damned thing. It would have been incest.”
“It’s
not
incest! It’s n-not! You have to share b-blood!”
“And now you’re suddenly defending the thing? Why the hell would you…? Oh, my God, Cyril.” Nicholas turned away as it began to come chillingly clear. He gripped the mantelpiece with his fingers, feeling as if he might be sick. “Dear Lord,” he whispered. “Did she succeed with you where she failed with me?”
Cyril didn’t answer, and Nicholas turned to look at him. Cyril’s face had completely drained of color save for two bright spots that flamed on his cheekbones. He was staring at the floor, his hands working at his sides.
“Is it true?”
Nicholas said harshly, biting out each word. “Did Jacqueline seduce you? Tell me!”
Cyril’s head snapped up. “I am just as m-much a m-man as you, N-Nicholas. Wh-why is it all right for y-you and n-not for me?”
Nicholas covered his eyes with his hand for a moment, trying to bring himself under control. “Sit down,” he said very softly, but the words held an undertone of danger, and Cyril instantly complied, although he looked very surly.
“Start at the beginning, and I want the entire truth. When did this happen? Was it when I came home?”
“Your arrogance knows n-no bounds, c-cousin. You are very wr-wrong. We have been l-lovers for almost t-two years.”
Nicholas slowly clenched his hand. “Damn the bitch,” he spat. “Damn her to eternity.” He pressed his fist hard against his mouth and tasted blood where his teeth cut into his lip.
“P-perhaps you are j-jealous. C-could that b-be the cause of your distress?”
“Jealous?” he said, dropping his hand. “Sweet Jesus, Cyril, but how you misread me! I am angry, very angry, and I am sickened, and above all, I think perhaps I am furious with myself for having let this happen.”
“It is n-nothing to d-do with you. M-must you always see everything in t-terms of yourself?”
“Coming from you that’s a sweet irony, but we’ll let it go for the moment. And to answer your question, no. I am not jealous. Jealousy is about the farthest thing from what I’m feeling. Now, start at the beginning.”
“Why should I?” he answered sulkily. “It’s m-my private b-business.”
“You’ll damned well tell me, Cyril, or I’ll wring it out of you!” Nicholas said, exploding, and Cyril cringed back in the chair. “You may take this lightly, my boy, but believe me, it is no laughing matter.”
“She was l-lonely,” he said sulkily, “and she had no one else to t-turn to but me. My f-father was useless in b-bed, even before his s-stroke. So she c-came to m-me for comfort. I know how to s-satisfy her. I m-make her h-happy. So there. N-now you know.”
Nicholas swallowed against the violent anger that pulsed through him with every heartbeat. “Now I know? Listen to me, and listen to me well, for there will most surely be an end to this. If you have been acting as Jacqueline’s lover, then you are man enough to hear what I have to say to you now.”
“Why should I? Why should I l-listen to anything you have t-to say?”
“Because I’m the only person who can help you.”
“What m-makes you think I w-want your h-help? Anyway, y-you’re in no p-position to d-do anything for anyone. You are totally r-ruined.”
“And that will change. But that is not the point. My God, Cyril, not only have you been duped, you’ve been used in an unholy manner. This is going to be terribly painful to hear, but it has to be said. I have been telling you the truth, Cyril, I swear it to you. I was more fortunate than you, for I was older than you when she came to me, and more experienced, and I wasn’t under her control. At least I managed to escape her abuse, if not her accusations. But hatred can do terrible things to people, cause them to act in unconscionable ways. It is beyond belief and unforgivable that she would use you to her own ends, and I want you to know that I do not put you on trial in this matter, only Jacqueline. I do not know what she did to manipulate you into becoming her lover, although I can guess at it. No doubt it was the first time she had paid you any attention at all, wasn’t it?”
Cyril hunched a shoulder. “She s-said she had n-never thought of me as a s-son anyway. And that one d-day she had l-looked at m-me and r-realized I had b-become a m-man. And as I had n-never thought of her as a m-mother, it wasn’t incest. She wanted m-me.”
“Yes, perhaps she did, but can you not see what was behind it? Cyril,” he said very, very gently, “try to understand. Look in the mirror.”
Cyril shook his head violently. “No,” he said. “N-no. It’s not true. It’s n-not. It was m-me she w-wanted. M-me, n-not you! She l-loves me!”
“She does not know how to love. She only knows how to take, how to destroy.”
Cyril was silent for a long moment, and then he looked up at Nicholas uncertainly. “You are s-saying that the only reason she t-took me as her Mover is because I remind her of y-you?” he said tonelessly. “You are t-trying to t-tell me that she has been using me to g-get back at you b-because you would n-not s-sleep with her?”
“Yes. That is what I am saying. I’m very sorry, Cyril. But I believe it must be true. I cannot see any other reason for her to do such a thing. She knew it was morally wrong to take you to her bed. She was doing it out of vengeance and perverted lust.”
Cyril gave a low, keening cry and put his head in his hands, his body rocking back and forth. “N-no. N-no,” he said over and over, and Nicholas put his hand on Cyril’s back.
“I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry, Cyril. I will do what I can to make it up to you. It is not your fault, you know. You mustn’t blame yourself. Jacqueline is entirely responsible. My God, but the woman is evil. Seventeen years older than yourself, married to your father, and you an innocent boy—surely you must see how she manipulated you?”
“I knew she was t-taking other Movers,” he said miserably. “I f-found out.”
“I have always suspected as much, Cyril, after what happened to me. But the one thing that must never be known is that you have been one of her lovers. I will certainly do my best to see that no one ever hears of it. You have a full and I hope a happy life ahead of you, and I will not see Jacqueline ruin it for you. I cannot express my rage to you enough. I really cannot.”
“You are n-not angry with me? You are n-not?”
“Oh, Cyril, for the love of God, how could I be? How could I be?” Nicholas knelt down and took his shoulders, looking him in the face. “You are my cousin. I have loved you since the time you were born. You were truly like a younger brother to me. You have no idea how much your mother and your father anticipated your birth, after years of waiting for a child, and I was as excited as they were, for I had been with them four years by that time. It was a great tragedy when your mother died, but then to see Jacqueline step in—I felt desperate, Cyril. And when she did what she did to me, and I was cast off, I cannot describe to you how it felt. Now—to learn what she has done to you, and you an innocent victim … I am very, very angry.”
“I am s-sorry about your h-house,” he said in a small voice. “I have always f-felt b-bad about it. Jacqueline t-took out her h-hatred for you on it, and I c-couldn’t d-do anything to s-stop her.”
“I know, Cyril. I know.”
He bowed his head. “We would c-come here, you know. M-most times. To b-be secretive.”
Nicholas nodded. “Did you? I suppose I’m not surprised. Jacqueline most likely wanted to desecrate me a little more. It wasn’t quite enough to let the house fall to bits.”
“I’m sorry about the c-cat too. I was … I was angry. I know y-you r-realized. I r-received your m-message.”