Authors: Brenda Grate
“Wow,” she gasped. “That’ll
numb
the stomach.”
The waiter grinned, delighted with their spirit. “Now one more and you’ll be set.”
Jen feigned a scowl at him. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”
The waiter put a hand over his heart and looked to the sky, innocent as the day he was born. “Not me, pretty lady.” He ruined the effect when he gave her a wicked wink.
Jen laughed and held out her glass for him to fill.
Emma held her glass, happy to see Jen unwinding and having fun. She’d rarely seen this side of her daughter. She wished that they’d had more moments like these. It saddened her how many years had been wasted while she tried to pretend all was well in her family.
They sat and watched the musicians perform while the waiter cleaned their table. He still hadn’t brought the bill but they were content to enjoy the atmosphere. Emma couldn’t remember the last time she’d lingered so long over a meal. She also couldn’t remember being so relaxed.
An image of Crispin filled her mind and her heart with longing. Why did he have to do it? She’d really wanted to pay him as they’d originally arranged, although Emma had never actually agreed to it. She wanted more than anything to invite him to the little house in Greece—after Jen had gone home of course.
But Emma was done with giving in to make a man happy. She needed to set boundaries and enforce them or she’d just go back to the same kind of relationship she’d had with Alan.
Emma sighed and Jen looked at her inquisitively.
“I’m okay,” Emma said. I’m really enjoying myself.”
“Me too.”
We’re going to have a great trip together.
Chapter 25
Massive pillars towered in front of Jen, taking her breath away. She’d studied Classical History for part of her degree, so seeing the Acropolis in person was something of a dream come true. She’d enjoyed learning about it in school, but a book didn’t even come close to the real thing.
I’m actually standing on the spot where the Ancient Greeks stood.
“Isn’t it incredible, Jennifer?” Emma sounded as much in awe as Jen was.
“It sure is.”
They pushed forward, up the marble steps, having to pause as tourists that were less in shape than them puffed their way up ahead.
The ancients must have been in incredible shape.
Jen figured a few weeks of making this climb every day would give her
buns of steel
. Forget videos.
They soon reached the top and the crowd fanned out around the ancient site. There were small and large groups of tourists, each led by a guide who shouted to be heard over the chatter.
Jen stopped near the first information display. She read the details of the building and what had been done to restore it. Halfway through reading the piece, Jen realized she’d zoned out and wasn’t taking anything in. Her thoughts were pulled to her worry about school and what to do about her future.
What do I do about law school?
How Jen wished she could just step inside the Acropolis and out the other side into a new life. She wondered if the ancients had the same kinds of problems she did.
The girls in that age worried about what husband their father might choose for them. I’m sure that has to be a thousand times worse than my situation.
Angry at herself, Jen stepped to the edge of the flat plateau and gazed out over the city. Her mother stood near the main edifice, taking tons of pictures. Jen would have to go through them and delete the bad ones. Her mother was good at a lot of things, but taking pictures didn’t fall into her realm of skills.
From the distance, Jen watched Emma. She’d never looked so well. Emma wore a bright-colored sundress with a light sweater tossed around her shoulders since they’d set out early that morning. She had already tanned slightly. Her dark curly hair hung just past her shoulder blades. It looked glossy and fresh. The smile that lit up her face made her look ridiculously young. Jen couldn’t believe her mother was forty-five. She definitely didn’t look it. Not today, anyway.
Just a few months ago, Jen and Brad had both been home at the same time, so they’d planned a family dinner. Alan had gotten home late, as usual, but Emma had tried to keep things light.
“Alan, please wash up and come to the table. The kids are here and waiting for us to start dinner.”
Emma’s impatience didn’t show on her calm face. Jen had been away at school for a few months and she was surprised to see just how much her mother had aged in that short time. There were lines on her forehead that hadn’t been there before.
Jen hadn’t taken the time in the past to really see her mom, but now that she did, it saddened her.
Brad had stepped up behind Jen and put his arms around her, dragging her to the table. “Come on, Sis, it’s your favorite.”
“What are we having?” she asked, craning her neck to look back at his grinning face. She hadn’t seen Brad look that happy in a long time. Determined to corner him later and demand an explanation, Jen let him lead her to the family dinner table.
They sat in their usual places, and Emma had put out the good china. Alan still hadn’t come back from the washroom. They waited, the smell of the food tempting. Jen hadn’t had home-cooked food since the last time she’d been home.
“What’s taking him so long?” grumbled Brad.
“He’ll be here soon,” Emma said in a soothing voice.
Jen’s hands clenched under the table, irritation warring with love for her father. He could inconvenience the whole family without a problem, but inconvenience him and there’d be hell to pay.
Finally, Alan stepped into the dining room and sat at the head of the table. He clapped and rubbed his hands together.
“Okay, let’s eat.”
Their entire lives had always revolved around their father, not even being allowed to eat until he made an appearance. She would never let herself be in a relationship where the man ran things that much and felt he was the most important person at the table.
She picked up the nearest tureen and passed it to her mother.
Alan talked about his newest acquisition and how he’d tricked the board into selling it to him. They thought he was going to turn their company around and make it profitable. But he’d never intended on doing anything other than parceling it out and selling it for profit. He crowed at how he’d bested them. Her stomach churned at his constant boasting.
Her father had often hinted that once she became a lawyer, she could work for his company. He needed a good lawyer to get him out of sticky circumstances his less-than-stellar morals often dumped him into.
Jen went back to school, determined that she’d at least be a good lawyer. One who righted wrongs and took down people who thought they were above the law. People like her father.
“Honey, are you okay?”
The bright Athen’s sun nearly blinded Jen as she turned.
Emma moved to block the sun from Jen’s face and asked again, “You okay?”
Jen got to her feet, brushed off her shorts and reached for the camera. “I’m fine. Let’s take some good shots of this amazing place.”
Emma gave her a wry grin. “How is it that both of my children are so good with a camera and I’m terrible?”
“It’s the product of our generation, Mom. We immortalize every moment.”
They took at least fifty shots before declaring themselves exhausted and hungry. Jen handed the camera back to her mother, glad to be done with it.
Her stomach rumbled and her skin felt hot from the sun, but that wasn’t what bothered her the most. She couldn’t seem to relax and enjoy herself. Her brain was determined to pull her into the vortex of swirling thoughts. Most of them about school, but a good portion about Dimitri.
Why am I still feeling this way?
She should be excited and enjoying herself even if she missed Dimitri. There was no schoolwork to do, no chores, nothing to occupy herself with except relaxation and interesting things to visit.
Shouldn’t I be filled with joy?
What the hell is wrong with me?
Her mother watched her covertly, dismay on her face. Irritation rose up, swift and violent. Jen needed to get away before it broke over her mother, who was innocent and didn’t deserve it. Every time Jen snapped at her mother, she felt guilty and she just couldn’t deal with any more guilt today.
“Let’s go get some food before I pass out,” Jen said. “Where do you suggest?”
“Well, that place our hotel manager suggested was fabulous. Why don’t we try another restaurant in that area?”
“Sure,” Jen did her best to sound upbeat. From the look on her mother’s face, she wasn’t as successful as she’d hoped. This tug of war with her emotions was going to knock her out soon.
They made their way down to the main bus level of The Acropolis site, the entire area filled with people. It amazed Jen how happy everyone looked.
The bus arrived and they took it to the Monastiraki stop, then made their way through the square and over to the row of restaurants that seemed to be busy every hour of the day. New waiters stood near the lane calling out to potential diners, hope on their faces. If they could only make eye contact, or tease a smile out of the passersby, they’d hook their fish. Reeling them in after that was nothing more than a formality.
They passed several places filled with diners before coming to a half-full restaurant, set a little back from the lane. The man who stood in front stopped Jen in her tracks. He could be Dimitri’s brother. When he smiled, she nearly asked him what his name was.
But she let his smile lure her in.
“Come on, Mom. Let’s eat here.”
Her mother looked surprised. “Really?”
The waiter turned a full-wattage smile on her and that was it, she was hooked, too. She smiled back and, before long, they were seated at a small table under the branches of a spreading palm tree.
“This is nice,” Emma said as they sipped rosé wine and waited for their food to arrive.
Jen didn’t answer. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the waiter. He glanced over at her occasionally and sometimes gave her a smile that sent shivers down her spine. It wasn’t him specifically she was attracted to, but the man he reminded her of.
Dimitri had kissed her goodbye as though he knew she wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. He seemed to know what she hadn’t even decided yet herself. It was only today, up on the summit of The Acropolis, that she had made her decision. She wasn’t going back to Canada next week, maybe not for a very long time.
She couldn’t go back to law school without doing a little soul-searching. Greece had such a laid back way of life that Jen figured it was the perfect spot to get a lot of thinking done, or maybe just some partying where she wouldn’t be able to think. She didn’t really know at this point which she wanted more.
Emma cleared her throat as the handsome waiter approached their table. Jen jolted upright and moved her arms to her lap.
“Here you are, the Greek salad and dolmades.”
“Thank you,” Jen murmured.
“And for you, Greek salad, dolmades and saganaki.”
“Mmmm …” Emma said as their waiter moved away with the customary
kali orexi.
“Let’s eat, I’m starving.”
Jen paused, her fork halfway to her mouth. “Why can’t I be happy?” She blurted before thinking about her words.
Her mother stilled for a moment as she chewed a mouthful of food. “Well …”
“Please be honest with me. I need honesty right now.”
“Okay, I’ll do my best.”
“Don’t be afraid you’ll make me angry. I’m always angry.” Jen shrugged, resigned to her nature.
“Sounds like something Connie said.”
“What? Really?”
“Connie loves you so much, Jen, but she’s also not afraid to point out your flaws.”
“That’s more true than you know.” She took a bite and waved with her fork. “Go on. What did Connie say?”
“She said you were born angry.”
A laugh burst out of Jen along with a few specks of food. “Oops, sorry.” She brushed the table off. “She said that?”
Emma smiled. “Yes, she did. And she’s right. You were so determined to be successful at whatever you did, even walking. You started walking at eight-months old. And I think it was just because your brother already knew how to walk and you couldn’t stand someone outdoing you, no matter the reason.”
“Wow. I had no idea. But, why does that make me unhappy?”
“It doesn’t. People can be happy, very happy, even if they’re overachievers. But it would be because they’re fulfilled with what they’re doing. If you aren’t doing your life’s work for the right reasons, there’s no way you’ll ever be happy.”
Jen thought about that. “You’re talking about law school?”
“Yes. Is that what you want to do?”
“Yes, of course it is.”
“Well, if that’s true, then there’s another factor.”
“What’s that?”
Emma hesitated.
“Come on, Mom, what?”
“It’s your attitude, Jennifer.”
Jen almost rolled her eyes before she caught herself. Her mother had told her since she was very young that she needed to change her attitude. She could remember the countless times she’d been hauled into her parents’ bedroom for a chat about her bad attitude. Here she was twenty-three and still being lectured about her attitude. She grimaced and nearly snapped at her mother. Then she smiled.
“Wow,” she whispered.
“I’m impressed.” Emma set her fork down. “You caught yourself.”
“So you think that’s why I’m not happy?”
“It’s part of the reason, yes. You aren’t
choosing
to be happy.”
Jen took a big gulp of her wine then set the glass down harder than necessary. “How in the hell do you
choose
to be happy? I’m either happy or I’m not.”
“Actually, that’s not true. Think about your complaints about the hotel, the heat, and having to buy bottled water everywhere. You’ve complained about the crowds, the garbage in the streets and how there are so many stray cats. I’ve been listening to you complain ever since we got in the car to head to the airport back in Canada.” Emma looked exhausted by her outburst, as though she’d been storing it up for a while.