No Magic Moment (Secrets of Stone Book 4) (29 page)

“Michael Adam. Really, again with the potty mouth?”

I could see a smile break out across his lips.
Oh, God…those lips
. I wanted to kiss them hello more than take another breath right now. I knew they’d be soft and warm, demanding but yielding to my own needs, too.

Love and longing welled in my throat. This was better and worse than I’d imagined. I’d missed him so damn much…so much more than I’d ever admitted to. Watching him from my secret spot made my pulse speed up. I wanted to stay in hiding just a few minutes more, capturing mini memories to call up in the future if this reunion turned out to be a disaster.

It wouldn’t be.

It won’t be
.

“Bah,” he scoffed good-naturedly. “Tell me if you haven’t heard anything before. I’ll be happy to stop and explain.”

“Oh, yeah? Tell me if you remember the old bar of Ivory. I’m certain it tastes just as good today as it did when you were eight.”

Well, hell. That did it. The mental picture of him rocking a bar of soap like one of his favorite bagels made me giggle where I stood, just inside the screen door.

As soon as he heard the sound, Michael’s head snapped up.

I was busted.

And he was livid.

“Oh, hell no.” He glared back at Di. “No-no-no-no-no! I swear, if you called her and told her—”

“Michael Adam!”

He didn’t listen. He was too busy charging toward the screen door. Just before he could grab the handle and yank it, I stepped out—into his path.

“Surprise?”

Silence. Dead silence was more like it. Even the crickets and owls way off in the trees seemed to take a moment to gather their thoughts before launching into the next verse of their nightly songs.

“What are you doing here?” He looked me over from head to toe, tense as Lot expecting his wife to become salt any second. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“It’s great to see you, too. I’ve missed you, too. Okay, your turn now.”

He fumed.

I squirmed.

God
. Seeing him up close? Smelling him? Taking him in from head to toe in his perfectly fitted “mister lawyer man” suit? Karma just bit me in the ass, big time—and I had a lot coming to me in the karma department, so I couldn’t really complain.

Involuntarily, I swayed toward where him. The fates were really fucking with me tonight.

“Margaux…”

“Well, you remember my name. That’s a start.” I shook my head a bit, battling to regain control of my senses. Clearly I was having a hormonal meltdown and he was having—just a meltdown.

I looked at him, trying not to be hurt. Or furious. I knew going into this that he wouldn’t be happy to see me, but a little part had clung to the hope that it would all be different once he actually saw me.

Fool.

This is what happens when your heart does the guide work, girlfriend
.

“I’m going to give you two some privacy.” Di lurched to her feet. We both rushed to help her.

“That’s not necessary,” Michael gritted. “She’s not staying.”

“Don’t be rude, Michael.” Diana smacked his shoulder on her way into the house.

He glowered at her fading back. “Well, she’s not!”

I let out a growl to match his. “
She
is standing right here, dammit.”

“Well you shouldn’t be. You should be in San Diego, where it’s safe.” He gave me the Lot-and-salt glare again, stabbing a hand into his hair. “For the love of God, Margaux. What were you thinking, coming here? Do you have a demented death wish or something?”

I waited for him to look at me.

And waited.

A full minute later, he actually met my gaze. Instantly, I stumbled back. The pain I saw in his eyes…it sucked my breath away. I shook my head, confused. Where did all that agony stem from? Was it from seeing me? Missing me? Or was it true anger, simply from me being here? And if so…
why
?

My arms itched to reach for him. I wanted to feel him close to me, to have his warmth surround me, to make me whole again. But I couldn’t ask for that. Could I?

“Please.” It barely made a sound as it escaped unchecked.

“Please?” His eyes flared, illuminating their wild mix of silver moon and raging gold. “Please
what
? What the hell more do you want from me, woman? I’m in pieces, Margaux. Do you understand? I can’t think. I can barely eat. Fuck, I definitely don’t sleep. And you say
please
. You say please like I have the answers to make it right again!”

“You do! You’re the one imposing these ridiculous conditions on us!” I stomped down the steps right after him—Christ, I was
chasing
him!—unable to control or contain myself. “Just—just hold me, okay? Is that too much to fucking ask? Just kiss me, even once, before you decide to send me away again!”

He stopped but didn’t turn, hands on his hips. I swallowed repeatedly, determined my tears wouldn’t clog a damn syllable I uttered next.

“But know this, Michael. If that’s what you choose—if you do send me away—I won’t come back up here again.
This
is the last time I chase your gorgeous, goddamned ass—so be really,
really
sure of what the hell you want.”

He pivoted around, scuffing the packed dirt. “Are you… threatening me? Is that what you came here to do?” He had the nerve to laugh. But it was a cocky,
I’m protecting myself
type of laugh. He was in as much pain as I was.

I bit back my anger to quietly answer, “No. This isn’t a threat. I need to function, to exist. You swore you’d be a part of that existence yet you ran away—twice. I’ve only come to collect what’s mine—what was promised to me. To prove to you that I still believe in us, that I believe we’re worth fighting for. But I won’t do it again, Michael. And I certainly can’t do it alone.”

He stepped closer. Then again. A narrow alley of night breeze was all that separated us.

I longed to leap into his arms and cover his face with kisses, but somehow held back. He needed to make the move—to make up even that small space, because it represented so much more. The gap
he’d
put between us. Whichever way it went now, he was the one driving our destiny.

I watched his internal war, displayed through the chaos in his eyes.

He took one more step closer.

I trembled. And rooted my feet to the spot.

“You’re in danger here.”

He seethed each word like an animal warning off a foe. I gulped hard but jabbed my chin up.

“I’m in danger no matter where I am. Being without you—this ridiculous, stupid exile—is the worst thing I’ve ever had to endure.”

He leaned in. I could feel his warmth now. The heat of his torment and rage.

“Get back in that car and drive back to San Diego, Margaux.”

“Not until you tell me that we’re over. Forever, Michael. Make sure it’s what you want.”

He took one more step.

I unleashed one desperate sob.

He moved so quickly, I stumbled back.

He was right there, catching me effortlessly then sweeping me up—as his lips crashed down. He took my mouth in a furious sweep of passion, bruising me and caressing me at the same time. When we pulled back and I gasped, he moved in to suck on my tongue, possessing me from the inside as thoroughly as the outside.

I was breathless, helpless, and dizzy when he pulled back, staring down relentlessly into my face.

“I will love you until the day I die, princess.”

Against every force of my will, another sob blurted out. He’d uttered the words like a man going to the gallows.
No. Please. I love you
!

“That’s why I want you to leave this mountain and never come back. Please,
please
…I don’t know how many different ways you need to hear it, you stubborn, beautiful woman. I won’t watch you suffer because of your association with me. Now take your things, say goodbye to my mother, and leave.”

He released me in a series of awkward jerks, as if our bodies had been sewn together and he’d ripped the seams open. After pressing a kiss to the top of my head, he stepped away, his harsh choke barely audible, before he turned toward the barn. The barn…where we’d made so many memories just a few months back.

Gone.

The memories. And him.

I watched him go until I couldn’t discern his shape from the rest of the shadows. Somehow I stumbled back to the porch, sinking to the creaky steps, listening to the sounds of the night as it called out, answered by the various farm creatures.

The only thing out of place was the sniffle and drip of my tears, because I couldn’t hold them back now if I tried.

Michael

I
stalked into
the barn then right through it. All the doors were still open since the display crew was working into the night to test out the lighting they’d rigged so far. Damn good thing. No way was the chaos of my mind and the turmoil barreling through my body going to confine itself to four walls and a bunch of hay bales.

The crew, working throughout the orchard, read the subtext in my stomps and wisely gave me a wide berth. No social hour right now for anyone but my fury and me—made even worse because it was all directed
at
me.

The images flashing to mind weren’t exactly helpful little elves. Though my feet crunched across dry leaves and through thick mulch, other floors of other times took dominance now. The swirled carpet of the Hotel Del’s ballroom, resembling a sea of vomit that supported Declan’s move on Margaux. The dirty concrete of the county holding cell, doubling as a bed for three passed-out drunks. Finally, the marble floor of the condo’s foyer, stained from the blood in Mom’s hair as her head tumbled from the burlap sack.

The bag those bastards had stolen from us. From
this
goddamn orchard.

And I was the one being called a paranoid nutcase. Regarded like a monster with no heart.

I had a heart, goddammit. It was still here in my chest, struggling through every day as best it could. I cobbled it together every morning with threads of determination and packing tape of hope, bound by prayers that the day would end with Doug’s check-in call, relaying that all was well and Margaux was still alive. Every night I let it fell apart again, my grief hidden by the shadows of midnight. If all the pieces made it to morning, I’d start the whole fucking process all over again.

Right now, midnight couldn’t come soon enough.

I looked up, concluding it might be closer than I thought. The crew had gotten up more lights than I’d thought they would, illuminating the orchard significantly. Beyond that, the night had a damn good grip on the mountain. I asked a passing crew member for the time, stunned to learn I’d been out here for two hours. On cue, a sharp wind kicked up, biting straight through my suit to confirm the fact.

Two hours. Mom and Margaux had to be finished with their commiseration of fury by now—though I wasn’t startled to see the shiny Maserati still parked outside the main house as I walked back up the hill. The mix of joy and agony in my chest wasn’t a stunner, either—not that I planned on examining it beyond that. I wasn’t sticking around long.

The first surprise I
did
get was trudging into the living room and not finding my girlfriend—
ex
-girlfriend—and my mother cuddled up on the couch together. Only the second half of that dynamic duo remained, waiting with her e-reader perched on one knee, an expectant scowl on her face.

Suddenly, I was sixteen again, jabbing a foot at the rug with hands stabbed in my back pockets, wondering how to explain a broken curfew. Only this time, despite Mom’s accusing brows, I wasn’t the only one who’d made a mess here.

“She’s already gone up to bed,” she explained as I threw an inquisitive glance around. “Actually, I ordered her to go. No way was I letting her drive that zippy sports car back home in the dark—
or
deal with you again.”

“That ‘zippy sports car’ is a Maserati Coupe,” I rejoined. “It can handle the road better than my Sierra. And I think Margaux is used to dealing with the bear by now, too—even if she’s the one who ambushed me in my own home.”

She slammed the reader down on the table. “Nobody ambushed anyone. I invited her up here, you oaf.”

I rolled my eyes. As long as I was reverting to sixteen again… “Right. I forgot. Girl time. Because you two have become such great pals over the last couple of weeks.”

“Now that you mention it, we have. And you know what I’ve learned?” She straightened her shoulders and nodded, indicating I was getting the answer whether I wanted it or not. “You’re a bigger idiot than I originally thought.”

“Of course I am.” I gritted a smile. “Sorry. We bears aren’t the brightest animals in the forest.”

“That is more than enough lip, young man. I’m still your mother, and—
don’t
.” She snarled it after pushing to her feet and instantly grimacing, making me lunge forward without thinking. “Do
not
come near me. Yes, this hurts like hell. And no, it’s not easy. But I need to start doing it on my own.” She stabbed a finger at my tight glare. “Were you listening at all to what they told us at PT today? That pain is part of the move forward?”

Despite the firestorm tearing across my chest, I nodded. “Yeah. I remember.”

“I didn’t ask if you remembered. I asked if you’d listened.”

I knew better than to throw any “lip” back this time. When she was set on making a point, it was best to get the hell out of her way.

“Michael…
you’re
stuck in the pain.”

I waited for more. None came. Screw the part about not wanting to hear her point. It’d be good if I
understood
it. “What the hell are you—”

“You’re stuck.” She stepped closer, pressing a hand to my jaw. “My amazing, courageous boy. I’m sorry; I’m sorry. You’re so stuck, and it’s so my fault.”

I crunched a hard frown. “Are you high on pain meds? I have no idea what you’re—”

“I’m lucid,” she retorted. “Regrettably. Maybe if I weren’t, I’d just shut up. But I can’t shut up; not anymore.” She brushed fingers through my stubble. “Outside, you may be the awesome lawyer nearing thirty, but inside, you’re still my brave little man, standing up against that monster.” Tears turned her eyes the color of Chardonnay. I loved it when they were happy tears, hated it when sorrow brought them—but which was it this time?