Authors: J.J. Murray
“You,” Tony said.
“When?” Trina asked.
“Soon.” He kissed her hard on the lips.
Soon! Yes! To Tony, “soon” means “right away.”
She pulled back from the kiss. “Are you kissing me to keep me from asking you more questions about it?”
“Yes,” Tony said. He kissed her again, and this time he didn’t press as hard.
“I’ll stop asking questions, if you don’t stop kissing me.”
“I will kiss you all night long,” Tony said.
“All over my body,” Trina said.
“All over your body.”
It’s a good thing Tony’s not a singer,
Trina thought.
He’s about to lose the use of his lips and tongue for a few days....
42
“I
hope you don’t mind if I visit some of my friends at Saint Francis today,” Trina said the next morning while they ate buttered toast and drank orange juice.
“I do not mind,” Tony said.
“I know it’s strange to go in to work on a day off,” Trina said.
“It is not strange,” Tony said. “You like your work.”
“And until the Asperger’s center opens, I want to try to take as much time off as I can so I can spend time with you.”
“You cannot spend time,” Tony said. “It is not money.”
“But it’s not good to waste time, is it?” Trina asked.
“No,” Tony said. “Time is valuable.”
“I should be done by eleven, and we can go out to lunch and eat it in the park if the press leaves us in peace.”
“I would like that,” Tony said. He finished his fourth piece of toast.
“Why don’t you wait for me here?” Trina asked. “Get some extra sleep.” She kissed his neck. “You earned it last night. You kissed every square inch of my body.”
“I did,” Tony said. “I made a map of your body with my lips.”
And I’m still tingling in places from those kisses.
“So you’ll stay here and rest, right?”
“I have an errand to run,” Tony said. “Please do not ask me what.”
Trina looked up from her toast. “An errand, huh?”
“Yes,” Tony said.
“Doing what?” Trina asked.
“You asked me what,” Tony said.
“I’m just curious,” Trina said.
“But I am trying to keep a secret from you.”
“What if I finish visiting my friends earlier than eleven?” Trina asked. “Will you be close to the hospital?”
“I will have my phone,” Tony said. “You can call me, and I will come to the hospital.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Trina said.
“I will be close to the hospital,” Tony said.
“How close?”
Tony blinked several times. “I am going to Union Square.”
Trina squinted. “You’re going . . . to Union Square, huh?”
“Yes,” Tony said. “On an errand.”
Trina rubbed his hand. “There are a lot of nice stores at Union Square.”
Including Tiffany & Co. Yes!
“Please do not ask more,” Tony said.
Trina smiled widely. “I won’t ask you anything more about it. I like surprises.”
“Surprises keep a relationship fresh,” Tony said.
After walking Trina to Saint Francis, he backtracked down Hyde to Post Street and walked half a mile to Union Square—and Tiffany & Co. A doorman opened the door, and Tony walked directly to the back of the first floor to a showcase of engagement rings.
He stood at this showcase for thirty minutes while two sales associates talked to each other, waited on other customers who came in after him, and generally ignored his existence. Tony tried to make eye contact with them several times but failed.
A tall pencil-thin woman with a severe nose and far too much makeup breezed by him to wait on a new arrival, saying, “The silver jewelry is
upstairs
.”
“I do not want silver jewelry,” Tony said. “I want to buy an engagement ring.”
The pencil-thin sales associate rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I will be with you in a moment,” she said with a heavy sigh.
Tony waited twenty more minutes of moments while the pencil-thin woman waited on a woman who wore fur around her neck and then another woman who wore many diamonds around her neck, on her fingers, and on her wrists.
A younger long-haired associate approached Tony from behind. “Have you been helped?”
Tony turned. “No.”
“Someone will be with you shortly,” she said, and she, too, moved away to help another customer who had just walked in.
Tony pulled on his left ring finger. He located the pencil-thin woman and stood next to the woman she was helping.
“Oh, that will look divine on you, Faye,” the pencil-thin woman said.
“I would like to buy an engagement ring now,” Tony said.
“I told you I would be right with you,” the pencil-thin woman said.
Tony twisted his left ring finger. “You have not been right with me. You have been wrong with me. You have helped four other people who came in after I did. I have waited my turn. It is now my turn.”
The pencil-thin woman sighed. “Greta, could you help this
fine
gentleman?”
Greta, the long-haired associate, crept over to him at the speed of an arthritic sloth. “What may I help you with?” she asked blandly.
Tony stared into Greta’s eyes. “You do not want to help me. Please get someone who can help me.”
“Of
course
I want to help you, sir,” Greta said.
“If you wanted to help me, you would not have walked so slowly,” Tony said. “If you wanted to help me, you would not have walked past me twenty-seven minutes ago. Please get someone who can help me buy an engagement ring.”
Greta exhaled, rolled her eyes, and slinked away—to
another
new arrival in designer sunglasses, shoes, and clothes.
Ten minutes later, Tony began twisting and pulling all of his fingers as he approached the pencil-thin woman once again. “My name is Tony Santangelo,” he said. “I am from Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, New York, USA. I want to buy an engagement ring for Trina today.”
The pencil-thin woman’s mouth dropped open. “You’re Art E.”
“I am Tony Santangelo,” Tony said. “I write songs as Art E. I have been standing here”—he checked his watch—“for one hour and seventeen minutes while you helped women with fur around their necks and women who wear lots of diamonds.”
“Please
forgive
me, Mr. Santangelo,” the pencil-thin woman said. “I didn’t recognize you without your piano.”
Tony blinked several times. “You are not forgiven. You should not have to recognize me to sell me a ring. You should have helped me right away. I do not want your help now.” He remembered what Angelo sometimes said. “I want to see your manager.”
“Oh,
that
won’t be necessary, will it?” the pencil-thin woman asked. “I can most
certainly
help you find that
special
ring.”
“No.” Tony stared into her eyes. “I want to see your manager now.”
“Our manager is busy at the moment,” the pencil-thin woman said.
“You are lying,” Tony said. “You do not know where your manager is.” He took out his cell phone and Googled “Union Square Jewelry.” When the list appeared, he said, “If I do not see your manager in one minute, I will tell the media that you did not help me. The media likes talking to me, and I like talking to them. I will then buy Trina’s engagement ring from Cartier, Brilliant Earth, or Edmund R. Weber Jewelers.”
“Oh, you don’t want an engagement ring from
those
places,” she said. “You want only the
best
for Trina, don’t you?”
“I will get the best for Trina,” Tony said. “You go get the manager. You have forty-five seconds.”
The pencil-thin woman picked up a phone and spoke in rapid, hushed tones.
“You have thirty seconds,” Tony said.
With a few seconds to spare, a smiling woman bustled up to him. “Why hello, Mr. Santangelo,” she said. “I’m Janine, Magritte’s manager. How may I help you today?”
Tony looked at Magritte. “When you turn sideways, Magritte, you disappear.”
Magritte took a deep breath.
Tony blinked. “Please turn sideways and disappear now, Magritte.”
Magritte rushed away.
“She was not helpful to me,” Tony said. “She did not see me. She should not work here if she does not see people.”
“I see you, Tony,” Janine said. “May I call you Tony?”
“That is my name,” Tony said.
“I understand you wish to buy an engagement ring,” Janine said.
“Yes,” Tony said.
Janine peered into the showcase. “Do you see any rings you like?”
“No,” Tony said. “These are not the right rings for Trina.”
Janine brought a diamond solitaire up to the counter. “This is the classic Tiffany Setting in eighteen karat yellow gold, two and a half carats, and only fifty-two thousand dollars.”
“It is not the right ring,” Tony said. “I do not like it.”
“Maybe you want a bigger diamond,” Janine said.
“I do not know,” Tony said.
Janine placed a pad of paper on the top of the showcase. “Well, what kind of metal do you think she’ll like? Let’s start there. Eighteen karat gold or platinum?”
“Trina is golden,” Tony said. “Gold.”
“Okay,” Janine said, writing it down. “Now we’ll choose the setting. Solitaire, three stone, pavé, diamond band, or side stones?”
“I do not know the difference,” Tony said.
She pulled out a long display of rings. “These are all our settings. Which one do you like the best?”
Tony pointed at a ring. “That one sparkles the most.”
“Solitaire.” Janine wrote it down. “Now we’ll decide on the cut of diamond you think she’ll like. Round, princess, Lucida, square, emerald, oval, or cushion?”
“Round,” Tony said. “Trina has round buttocks.”
Janine smiled. “Okay.” She wrote it down. “Great. We’re making progress. What size diamond do you want?”
Tony pointed at a ring on the display. “Trina has small hands.”
“Oh, but you want the diamond to stand out, don’t you?” Janine asked.
“Yes,” Tony said.
“So, four, five, six carats?” Janine asked. “Seven? Eight?”
“Six and a half,” Tony said. “That is Trina’s shoe size.”
Janine chuckled as she wrote and said, “Six and one-half carats. Okay. What size ring does she wear?”
“She does not wear a ring,” Tony said.
“You said her hands are small,” Janine said.
“Yes,” Tony said. “They are small but strong and brown and warm.”
Janine held up her pinkie. “Is her ring finger about this big?”
Tony stared at Janine’s pinkie. “No. Like your pointer finger.”
“That will make it about a size six,” Janine said. “She can have it sized if it doesn’t fit.” She tapped her pen on the paper. “That’s all I need to know.”
“What color will the diamond be?” Tony asked. “I do not want a regular diamond.”
“What did you have in mind?” Janine asked.
“I want a chocolate diamond,” Tony said.
“You want . . . a chocolate diamond.”
“Yes,” Tony said. “I want a chocolate diamond for Trina.”
“Tony, it is customary to give diamonds like the ones in the display case for an engagement ring,” Janine said. “Chocolate diamonds are traditionally given—”
“I do not follow customs or traditions,” Tony interrupted. “I want a chocolate diamond for Trina.”
Janine raised her eyebrows. “Okay, um . . . let me make a few calls to see if I can locate a six-and-a-half-carat chocolate diamond.”
“You do not have it here,” Tony said.
“No, Tony,” Janine said. “Not in that size anyway.”
“This is a jewelry store,” Tony said. “You have diamonds. You should have chocolate diamonds.”
“We have a small inventory of chocolate diamonds, Tony,” Janine said, “and I know we don’t have one that’s six and a half carats.”
“Oh,” Tony said.
“We’ll have to do Trina’s ring as a special order,” Janine said.
“Yes,” Tony said. “Trina is special.”
“It will take some time for the ring to be made,” Janine said, “most likely in our flagship store in New York. Have you ever been there?”
“I lived in New York,” Tony said.
“I mean, have you ever visited the Tiffany’s in New York?”
“No,” Tony said. “This is my first visit to a jewelry store.”
Janine winced. “I’m so sorry it took so long for us to help you.”
“Thank you for apologizing,” Tony said. “But Magritte and Greta should be apologizing, not you.”
“I’ll call you when the ring arrives,” Janine said, “but I really can’t give you a specific time it will be ready.”
Tony pulled on his left ring finger. “I cannot take it home today.”
“No,” Janine said.
“I can go to New York to get it,” Tony said.
“That won’t be necessary,” Janine said. “We will have it shipped here when it’s ready.”
“I cannot buy Trina’s ring today,” Tony said. He twisted his left ring finger.
“I’m sorry,” Janine said. “It may take a week, or it might take a month.”
Tony pulled and twisted all the fingers on his left hand. “I do not want to wait a month. Why does it take a month?”
“We have to find the diamond first,” Janine said.
“It is lost.”
“It’s not lost,” Janine said. “We’ll locate it most likely in Australia. That’s where many brown diamonds come from.”
Tony blinked rapidly. “You must find the diamond in Australia and send it to New York to make the ring and then send it back here. Trina’s ring will travel seventeen thousand miles before she can wear it.”
“Her ring will have wings,” Janine said.
“Yes,” Tony said. “Trina is an angel. Her ring should have wings.”
“Because this is a
very
special order, Tony,” Janine said, “we ask that you put down a deposit of thirty to fifty percent of the estimated total cost.”
“I will pay the total cost now,” Tony said. He took out his credit card and handed it to Janine.
“With a six-and-a-half-carat round brown diamond solitaire in eighteen karat gold, the ring will cost roughly . . . thirty thousand dollars,” Janine said.
“Okay,” Tony said.
Janine tapped the card on the showcase. “Are you absolutely
sure
you want to get Trina a chocolate diamond?”