Authors: Ruth Ann Hixson
Tears were trickling down her cheeks by the time she finished. She didn't understand why she was crying. She was experiencing new feelings for him. "Oh, please, God, don't let me fall in love with him." She knew that if she loved him she would need to change her future plans which didn't include romance.
She pushed Mark to the back of her mind and set about making supper. Keeping her mind on her cooking proved difficult. Every time she pushed Mark out of her mind he popped back in like a contrary jack-in-the-box. He just wouldn't stay down. While she ate, she allowed him to come to the fore. She knew she had to deal with her feelings so she tried to analyze them like a doctor clinically studying a disease. She found she couldn't compartmentalize him. He was too complex and so were her feelings for him.
She'd had a busy day and was tired but sleep wouldn't come. She couldn't get comfortable on the daybed so she moved to her mattress. She didn't fall asleep until after midnight but Mark pursued her even in her dreams.
She was slow getting around in the morning but after the breakfast dishes were washed and put in the sink to drain and dry, she sat down to write thank you notes for the gifts she had received. She had no trouble writing a brief note to Rose telling how much she appreciated, not just what she had bought her, but for the help of dealing with her mother's duplicity. She penned a brief thank you note to Frank and Jan adding that she wished them to stay away until she got her life back under control.
She read the note inside Mark's card many times before she began to compose a letter. She wrote: Dear Mark, Thank you for the scarf, candy kisses and flowers. You asked for forgiveness and I freely forgive. I understand that emotions were running high on Thursday. I need to ask your forgiveness for the things I said. After Chad read the statement Gram made to the police at the time, I understood that Mom had lied to me. She didn't take me away from the grandmother I loved to protect me from being molested; she was saving herself from being arrested for filing a false report.
Right now my emotions are still a little raw around the edges so I ask that you stay away until I can better cope. I am not in love with you but I do care about you. You are still my adopted big brother who watches over me. I cannot promise I will ever love you. I like you. You are intelligent, witty, charming and handsome. I am attracted to you physically. But I know there is more to love than that. I am not sure I am capable of that kind of love.
Perhaps it would be best if you find someone else. Someone who can make you happy. I am always your little sister, Sherry.
She wrote his name on the outside the envelope. She had no intention of sending it through the mail. She would wait until the mailman went in the afternoon and walk over and put it, along with the one to Jan and Frank, in the mailbox. Rose's she would hand deliver when they brought the recliner that afternoon. She watched for the mailman so she could deliver her notes. She almost tore up her note to Mark to write a simple thank you note but she decided she had to be honest with him about how things stood.
She was walking back from the Blakelys' mailbox when she saw a maroon extended cab pickup pull in her driveway. She guessed it was the Dales. She quickened her steps until she got closer and then she called out, "Hi!" and waved to them.
When she came up to them, Carl asked, "Where do you want this?"
"Back up to the front steps. That's what Frank did the day we brought the mattress home. Your end gate should be about even with the porch and you won't have to lift it so far. I'll go around to unlock the door."
Rose introduced Sherry to her girls--Angelina and Bonita. "Angie and Bonnie." Angie had brown curls and light skin like her white father. Bonnie, the younger of the two, was milk-chocolate brown like her mother. Rose cautioned the girls, "Just stay out of the way until we get these things unloaded."
Sherry rushed inside to unlock the front door and open the storm door. "You can move that little thingie to make it stay open," she said to Carl who stood six four. "I can't reach it."
Carl grinned down at her. "We'll have to get you matchbox to stand on." He first carried in a large box. "This is linens and such. Where do you want it?"
Sherry pointed to the archway to the living room. "Just set it in there beside Mom's pile of stuff."
"I'd guess you want this in the kitchen." Rose carried in large box of pans and dishes.
"Now comes the hard part," Carl said. "Where do you want the recliner? Once we pick it up we aren't setting it down until it's in place.
"Over there in the corner. Then I can have light from both windows."
When the big brown chair was set in the corner she asked, "Will you please carry the mattress over to the living room?"
"Anything else?" he asked when that was done.
"I would like to know if it's safe to use the fireplace? I don't have any heat."
After he used a mirror to look up the chimney, he told her, "It looks clean. But you shouldn't build a fire in it without a screen to keep any sparks from popping out on the floor."
"Now, young lady," Rose said. "I'm going to take a look at that wound, wash it and rebandage it."
That done, Sherry gave Rose the thank you note. "That includes everything you've done for me."
Before they left, Rose gave Sherry a hug. Each of the girls followed their mother's example. Carl shrugged and grinned. "What the heck? I might as well make it unanimous."
****
"Letter for you." Frank passed the envelope to his son.
"There's no stamp or anything."
"From Sherry. I already looked at the one with my name on it. Thank you note." Frank poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.
Mark tore open the envelope and began to read. The smile on his face faded. "She's telling me to stay away."
Frank held out his hand. "Let me read it. Mom and I got a little note. She wrote you a letter." As Frank read the missal an amused look crossed his face and developed into a smile.
"I don't see anything funny about it," Mark complained.
"You have to read between the lines. She thanks you for the birthday gifts; she forgives you for Thursday. She wants you to forgive her for not believing you and more. She's asking for time to sort out her feelings. She is not sure she can love you. Not sure are the most important words in the whole letter. Give her the time she asks for," Frank advised. "She's been through a lot. The accumulative effect has taken its toll. Give her some space to get her life back on track. It's not like she's asking for eternity. She has a friend to help her along. Rose Dale is an intelligent, caring nurse. That's what Sherry needs right now."
"Are you saying I don't care?" Mark demanded.
"I didn't say that. But if you truly love her you will put her needs ahead of your own. You already bedded her. She wasn't ready for that either."
"What would you have done if Mom took her clothes off in front of you?"
"He'd have me on my back before you could snap your fingers," Jan said as she came into the kitchen. "It's raining again."
Frank stood up and grabbed her for a hug. He leaned down and whispered in her ear.
"Why you dirty old man!" Jan acted shocked. "You two both need to take a couple of laps around the barn in the rain to cool you off. Out! Go milk the cows."
****
"I'm sorry I'm late." Sherry pulled her arm out of the right sleeve of her denim jacket. "I thought I'd never get out of the doctor's office, but I got the staples out of my back."
"Don't bother to take off your jacket," Amanda told her. "You are no longer employed here. I'm sorry, but the order came down from the main office."
Sherry stared at the store manager as if she were speaking in a foreign language. "Why?"
Amanda handed her a paper. "Since it was through no fault of your own, you may be able to sign up for unemployment once your are able to go back to work."
"I have a paper from the doctor that I can do light duty work." Sherry looked at the paper Amanda gave her.
"It makes no difference. Elena Bayshore is out of jail. The company is afraid she will create an incident where someone gets hurt and the company will be held liable."
Sherry knew about Elena being out on bail with a GPS bracelet on her ankle. She'd heard it on the car radio. That did not mean that Elena would abide by the rules. A restraining order didn't stop her from coming into the store and scratching Sherry from her elbow to her wrist. Sherry pulled her jacket back in place and turned to go.
"I'm sorry," Amanda said again. "I have no complaint about your work."
Sherry went on as if she hadn't heard her.
What will I do now
? In her car she wiped away the tears she couldn't stop from flowing.
Don't lose your head
, she reminded herself.
You've been through
worse
. She figured she might as well go to the Laundromat since she had brought along the dirty clothes to wash after work.
She wasn't fond of driving at night, especially in the rain. At least she had a roof over her clotheslines. The cool rainy weather would also affect the temperature inside the house.
She pulled in the garage and turned off the engine. She had anticipated getting home after dark and had left the breezeway light on. She carried the basket of wet clothes to the back porch even though she wasn't supposed to lift that heavy. The one bulb in the light by the door did not afford much illumination. When she saw something gray at her feet she thought it was a rat and recoiled away from it until it began to climb up her pant leg. She realized it was a gray, tiger-striped kitten.
She pulled it loose from her pants and put it down on the porch floor. The poor thing looked like it hadn't eaten for a couple of days. Watching where she stepped because it stayed underfoot, she hung up the rest of her clothes. When she opened the door to go inside, the kitten darted ahead of her. Apparently it was not a feral kitten. It had been around people. Probably a stray.
It followed her to the kitchen so she opened a can of tuna and put some on a saucer for it. Before giving the fish to the kitten, she picked it up and looked under its tail. It was a female. "Mitzi. That's what I'll name you. Itsy bitsy Mitzi." She put Mitzi back down and set the saucer of fish on the floor.
Sherry wondered if Mitzi was litter trained. "Oh, shoot! I'll have to go back to town for cat food and litter. You are going to have to stay in the breezeway until I get back."
When Sherry returned and set her plastic dishpan with kitty litter in the breezeway, Mitzi went to it immediately to do her business. She looked at Sherry as if saying, "What took you so long?" Sherry went back to the kitchen leaving the door to the breezeway open. What did it matter? There was no heat in the house.
She put away her purchases keeping out one can of vegetable beef soup for her supper. As she sat down at the table to eat her soup and think, she looked up. "What next, Lord? What do I do now?" She shivered as if she was cold. Then she felt as if a warm blanket wrapped around her. She wasn't sure if she actually heard the words or it was her imagination.
The
worst is yet to come. After you have been through the refining fire you will come out as pure gold.
Sherry closed her eyes and strengthened her resolve to keep going despite the setback of losing her job.
Mitzi climbed up her leg to her lap. Sherry set her back on the floor. "You already ate. Leave me alone so I can eat." She crumbled up crackers in her soup and began to eat. Car lights shining on the window caught her attention. "It seems we have company, Mitzi." She got up and looked out the window but could not see who it was because the outside light wasn't on.
After pulling her chair away from the table so Mitzi couldn't climb up and get into her food, she went to the breezeway to turn on the outside light. Chad Wertman and a pretty young blonde came to the door. She opened the door before Chad had a chance to ring the buzzer. "Come on in. Just watch so you don't step on Mitzi. She likes to get underfoot."
"So you have a kitten," Chad greeted her.
"A stray. I'll have someone to talk to."
"This is Linda Franquet, my fiancee. Linda, this is Sherry Winnette."
"I hope you don't mind if I finish my supper." Sherry sat back down at the table.
"Not at all." Linda sat down on the other chair at the table.
"You women took both the chairs," Chad protested.
Sherry grinned at him. "There's a milk can in the front room."
Chad brought a milk can to the kitchen. "These make pretty good stools. How are you doing?"
Sherry swallowed her food. "I got the staples out of my back. I got fired from my job because Elena is out of jail and she might come in the store and shoot up the place hurting innocent bystanders."
"That isn't your fault."
Sherry swallowed the last bite of food. "There's coffee but it's cold. I can heat it for you. I'm going to make tea."
"I'll take tea," Linda said.
Sherry poured hot water in two mugs for tea. She set a small saucepan on the stove to heat coffee for Chad.
Chad said, "I haven't been able to locate your mother."
All at once the tears started flowing down Sherry's cheeks. She began shaking uncontrollably and went pale. She jumped up from her chair and ran to the bathroom where she threw up. Linda went to see about her. She filled the plastic cup at the sink and put it in Sherry's hand. "Here, rinse you mouth."
Sherry took the cup and did as Linda told her. Suddenly, she dropped the cup. "Chad! Come in here!" Linda cried.
He found Linda supporting Sherry. "She just fainted," Linda said.
Chad carried Sherry to the daybed in the dining room where he laid her down. "Stay with her." He took out his cell phone and made a call. "Rose. This is Chad Wertman." He explained what happened to Sherry.
"Post traumatic stress," was Rose's assessment. "Get her to the ER right away. I'll meet you there."
"Rose said take her to the ER," Chad reported when he returned his cell to his shirt pocket. "Post traumatic stress."