Authors: Clever Black
Carmella went and knelt before Pepper and said, “Peppi? What me
and my girls do isn’t fun and games. Many lives have been lost
for what you see around you today. This life I live has consequences
you can’t even imagine.”
“I heard you arguing with Toodie about my mother a while back.”
“Your mother wanted me to take her and you here to America so
you could be looked at by doctors. Remember the tests you took?”
“Yes. It didn't hurt at all.”
“But it was needed. You are all well now. Had your mother not
come to me before she died, you may be dead today. Your Ma-Ma loved
you, Peppi. And I love you the same. I know I could never be her, but
I’ll do my best. I will make sure nothing happens to you.”
“Will I ever have to go back to Saint Louis?”
“Someday, yes. But I’ll be there with you most times. I
have a home there too.”
“Okay. I don’t like Toodie.” Pepper remarked as she
sat up in the bed.
“Toodie is important to me. I need her to help me with you
because some places I go, you can’t, because it may be too
dangerous, baby.”
“I’d rather Phoebe be with me.”
“You’ve told me all this already. Toodie and Phoebe are
always together and they mean you no harm, Pepper,” Carmella
sighed, getting a little agitated with the discussion.
“So long as you’re alive they won't hurt me. What if you
were to die like my mother? Then what will happen to me?”
Carmella stood up at that moment and paced the floor. Pepper was
asking some heavy questions, questions she hadn’t pondered in a
long time. She could die any day in her line of work and she knew it
all-too-well given her recent tap dance with the Grim Reaper. She
couldn’t let those thoughts enter her mind, though; and if she
were to die, then fuck it. Pepper would be the least of her worries
if ever she were hit. While she was here, though, Carmella was trying
her best to make certain that Peppi Vargas would be looked after as
best she could.
“If I were to die, Peppi,” Carmella said as she stood at
the foot of the bed, “you go to a church and ask for help if
you don’t want to be with any of my crew, okay?”
“That’s it? Go to church?”
“That’s the best I can tell you! What is it you want from
me?” Carmella screamed, having grown agitated because Pepper
was forcing her to have an emotional conversation she was not
prepared to have. “Haven’t I treated you like family?
Haven’t I looked after you all this time,” she asked in
frustration. “Shit! I saved your,” she toned it down at
that moment, refusing to go off the deep end and read Pepper her
rights. Disallowing herself to give this ten year-old little girl the
hard truth—that she’d killed her mother by accident and
was now feeling obligated to see to it that she made it into
adulthood.
Carmella knew what she’d do under any other circumstance. Had
this been any other person, helpless child or not, she would have
killed her outright. She briefly envisioned herself walking around to
the side of the bed and strangling Pepper to death. She could cut her
up into pieces and burn her remains in the grill pit in the backyard,
too. Nobody would know but her and Desiree. As heartless as she could
be, however, Carmella couldn’t find it in herself to murder an
innocent child, especially one whose mother she’d taken out
during a vicious takeover campaign and now had an affinity towards.
“I’m sorry I upset you,” Pepper said lowly,
interrupting Carmella's thoughts. “I just get scared
sometimes.”
“You don’t have to be scared, baby,” Carmella
responded softly. “You don’t understand fully, but you
are in a good position. The boss loves you.”
“Can I be a boss someday?”
“Being boss isn’t easy. It is earned, Pepper. You have a
long ways to go.” Carmella said as she walked over and sat on
the edge of the bed.
“But you can teach me.” Pepper said lowly as she stared
back at Carmella. The look in Pepper’s eyes sent a chill down
Carmella’s spine. This little girl was more than serious.
Whatever ideas she had formulating, Carmella didn’t know, but
one thing was certain—ten year-old Peppi Vargas had it in her
to take on the world if that’s what she wanted to do.
“I don’t think you’re cut out for this life,”
Carmella snapped as she jumped up from the mattress.
“I will prove you wrong someday if you teach me right,”
Pepper stated as she picked up the remote control and began flipping
through the channels.
Carmella said nothing as she walked out the door. She liked what she
saw in the child. It was never her intention to school Pepper on the
business she was in, but she had seen enough in the little girl to
train her and have her ready the day she came of age. This sparked
conversation had oddly drawn the motley two closer, but only time
would reveal what would become of their relationship and what would
actually become of ten year-old Peppi Vargas.
Several hours later, Pepper, having awakened in the middle of the
night, crept from her bed and was making her way back to the kitchen
for another piece of turkey. She really liked being around Carmella,
but she was conflicted over Toodie, and even Phoebe to an extent. The
ten year-old’s world was a confusing one that was filled with
drug dealers and she was nearer violence more than she could ever
imagine most times; and things would get even more confusing for the
ten year-old as she grew nearer Carmella’s bedroom.
Moaning sounds had slowed Pepper’s stroll towards the kitchen
to a snail’s pace and she began tiptoeing towards the open door
where she peeked in and caught an eyeful. There, lying on the bed on
her back with her legs spread wide, was Carmella. Her arms were at
her side and her head was drawn back as her waist moved up and down,
seemingly in slow motion. The person between Carmella’s legs,
Pepper knew, was Desiree. She couldn’t understand fully what
was going on, nor what her eyes were witnessing, but it looked as if
it felt good by the way Carmella was moaning, sounding as if she were
crying almost.
“Desi, yes,” Carmella moaned. “You’re takin’
me all the way there. Momma, si! Si!”
“
Dios, sabes muy bien,
mi amor.
” (God, you taste so good, my love.)
Desiree moaned. “
Déjame
Vete a la mierda.”
(
Let
me fuck you.)
Desiree was sitting up looking as if she were putting a belt on to
Pepper when Carmella turned and saw her staring. She said nothing as
Desiree lay on top her, only returning to making those funny sounds
again. Pepper stared for what seemed like an eternity as she watched
Carmella kiss and grab on her friend. Soon they both were yelling
each other’s names. Carmella knew Pepper was watching, but
she’d wanted to learn—so she said—and if Carmella
was going to teach her, she was going to give Pepper her lifestyle
up-close and unfiltered. A fast and furious pounding took Carmella
over the edge and she came down from her sex high a few minutes
later, when she looked back towards the door, Pepper was still
peeking.
“Close my door, Peppi,” Carmella said aloud as she sat up
in the bed.
“Oh my God! She saw that?” Desiree asked, covering her
lower face.
Carmella lit up a blunt and took a few tokes. “If she wants to
learn about this life I will give her all she wants to know, Desi.”
she said as smoke left her lungs.
“She’s so young.”
“That’s where it starts. I don’t want to hear shit
about what I do with Peppi, okay?”
“No need to yell. I just don’t like being an
exhibitionist.” Desiree said as she spread cover over her and
Carmella's legs.
“A good one you are, though, ma-mi. You make me scream, woman!”
Carmella said through laughter as she pulled Desiree down on top of
her. “I’m going to be here for a while until I reopen
Club Glitz. It’ll do Peppi some good to stay out of Saint Louis
for a while, too.”
“How soon before you open the night club?”
“Five, maybe six months. And once I reopen the club, I’ll
just have this one thing in Saint Charles that needs tending to.
Happy Holidays, baby. I’m back, Desi. I’m back.”
Carmella ended just before she kissed Desiree passionately.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BACK ON THE HOMEFRONT
Early March of 2002 found most of the Holland-Dawkins family out
early in the morning working the ranch. The big three were out
rustling the cattle, Kimi and Koko were slopping the hogs and feeding
the chickens and Mary and Dimples were loading produce into Mary’s
pick-up truck to take to her produce stand.
Walee, Spoonie and Tyke, meanwhile, were out wandering around. Walee,
dressed in jean shorts and a wife beater and tennis shoes with no
socks, and Spoonie and Tyke, who were wearing their softball uniforms
as the two had a game later in the day, traversed the land on this
bright and sunny morning and made their way over to the forest to the
east of Ponderosa to pick up Walee’s pet turtle, Slo Moses.
Walee had been taking care of the turtle since last year, keeping it
in a small fenced-in area beside a swampy area on the land and
feeding it regularly. The turtle was about the size of a tennis ball
when Walee first found the amphibian, now nearly a year later, it was
as round as a dinner plate and had a beautiful blue, yellow, orange
and light green shell.
Walee scooped up his turtle and he and his sisters walked over to the
pig sty to meddle thirteen year-olds Kimi and Koko, which was their
normal routine.
“Hey! Hurry up and slop them hogs before we lay y’all off
today!” Walee yelled, mocking his sisters from the opposite
side of the fence.
“Yeah, slop them hogs!” Spoonie and Tyke repeated
simultaneously as they laughed.
“You lay us off then! Do us that favor, boss man!” Koko
yelled as she and Kimi continued pouring feed onto the ground.
“Stop fraternizing and get back to work! Aww forget about it!
When you finish for the day—you finish for good! I’m
firing both of y’all lazy asses today!”
Tyke then chimed in, attempting to repeat Walee’s statement.
“Yeah, we firing, we firing both of y’all lazy—”
“You better not copy off him, Tyke!” Kimi yelled.
“I’m a slap ya’ face ya’ keep playin’
with me, Walee!” Koko followed as she ran towards the gate.
Walee, Spoonie and Tyke ran off with Koko hot on their tails.
Koko chased her younger siblings through the dirt-covered maze inside
the poultry yard and was near to catching Spoonie when the three
emerged out into the open field and scattered in three different
directions.
“You better not let me catch either one of y’all behinds
back over here none today! Especially you, Walee! And y’all
other two need to quit repeating after his filthy behind mouth!”
Koko screamed angrily as she stopped running, realizing she wasn’t
going to catch neither of the three as they ran across the open
field.
Walee, with turtle in hand, and Spoonie and Tyke following his every
move, soon found themselves on the upper southern portion of the
ranch. They crossed the fence that separated the cattle and horses
from the upper portion of the land that the family used for farming
and recreation and began mingling with calves that were being led to
the stream on the east side of the ranch to be watered.
Walee had a small tree branch in his hand and he began to lash one of
the small calves strolling by as he held onto his turtle.
Tiva rode her horse towards Walee when she spotted him and her
youngest sisters milling about in the calves’s pathway leading
towards the stream. A few bloodhounds ran by barking loudly and the
calves began trotting lightly.
“Walee! Take your li’l sisters and cross back over the
fence and get from ‘round them calves, man!” Tiva yelled
from atop her horse.
“No, ma’am! I’m—stayin’—right—here!”
Walee snapped as he continually lashed the small animal before
breaking out into the Carlton dance from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
“Look at ‘em, Kimi.” Koko said as she eyed Walee
way off in the distance.
“Umm hmm,” Kimi replied while sanitizing her hands. “He
gone dance his self right into a trampling he keep goin’.”
Tiva could see the calf growing agitated while Walee was dancing.
“Spoonie? You and Tyke get on the other side the fence,”
she said as she climbed down from her horse to usher Walee to safety.
The twins walked back to the fence steadily yelling for Walee to
follow them, but he ignored them both and made whipping sounds as he
continued to hit the calf and breaking out into dance on occasion.
“Spoonie, watch this here!” Walee yelled aloud as he
pelted the calf hard on the back to try and get it to run. Instead of
running, however the calf back-kicked Walee and knocked him down and
sent Slo Moses flying into the air at the same time before it took
off running.
Walee gasped for air as he held his stomach and was slowly catching
his wind back when Tiva, Spoonie and Tyke ran over to help him. He
caught his breath just as Spoonie and Tyke began pulling him by the
arms towards the fence.
“Where Slo Moses,” Walee cried aloud as he being dragged
by his sisters. “Grab Slo Moses! Tyke! Eh! We got a man down
over here! Man down I say!”
Tiva knew Walee wasn’t actually hurt the moment she laid eyes
on him and she couldn’t help but to chuckle at the stunt her
younger brother was pulling. Earlier in the week, a rancher had
fallen off a horse and as he was being drug towards the fence, Flacco
was yelling repeatedly “man down”. Walee was merely
repeating what he’d seen and it was funny to Tiva, who
witnessed the entire episode. Spoonie and Tyke, however, were certain
Walee was hurt for real.
“Ohh, man that hurt! Cow kick me! Somebody grab Slo Moses! We
got a man down over here! Man down!” Walee continued yelling as
he was cleared of the now fast-trotting calves.