Chapter Four
“How long do you think we’ve been in here?”
Jace sagged with relief at the sound of Hayden’s voice. She’d gone at least an hour ignoring him. He’d known interfering was a dickhead move, but he couldn’t help it. And he sure as hell didn’t regret it. If he hadn’t, she’d be in this room doing God knows what with that tool. “I don’t know. An hour maybe.” The club was still in full swing outside the door, and no one had come. He honestly didn’t expect them to until closing, which by his guess was still a couple of hours away. If he was being honest, he wasn’t ready for that door to open. Once it did, Hayden would be gone. After the shit he’d pulled tonight, maybe for good.
Hayden shifted and tugged on her dress. She had to be uncomfortable on the hard floor. The instinct to take care of her was almost overwhelming. It always had been, but something felt different now. They’d crossed a line, and he still didn’t know which side she wanted him on. She made a frustrated sound in her throat, and Jace reached back and stripped his shirt off over his head. It was hot as hell in that room anyway.
Hayden gasped. “What are you doing?”
He laughed and folded his shirt to make a cushion out of it. “Here.” He set it beside him on the ground. “But you have to sit by me if you want it.”
That probably wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had. Not when it was taking everything in him not to pin her up against the wall and finish what they’d started.
Hayden bit her lip, and he didn’t miss the way her gaze traveled over his chest, lingering on his ink, before landing on the T-shirt. He wasn’t the only one who couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, then. Could she possibly want him the way he wanted her? She sure as hell had an hour ago, but that was also before she’d realized he wasn’t the asshole she’d met at the bar. Finally giving in, she crawled over to sit on the makeshift cushion.
He nudged her arm with his. “I’ve been told my lap is also a very comfortable option if you want to give that a try.”
“Don’t push your luck.”
He chuckled and rested his head on the wall. “You know, I haven’t seen you in a dress like this since—”
“Senior prom,” she finished for him.
He smiled and absently rubbed his thumb in a slow circle on her thigh. Thank God she didn’t stop him, because he needed that little bit of contact with her right now more than he wanted to admit.
“You looked so pretty in that pink dress. The one with the lace design around the bottom. It was wasted, but you still looked beautiful. I don’t think I told you that night. I should have.”
Hayden closed her hand over his, stopping the circles he was drawing on her bare leg. “It wasn’t a waste. It was where I wanted to be.”
She’d ditched her prom date last minute, showed up dressed to the nines, and helped him take care of his mom all night. Feeding her broth. Reading her Tennyson until she fell asleep. Holding his hand while he watched the cancer eat her away. Even Nate hadn’t been able to stick around to watch that shit; he chose to join the Marines and put an ocean of distance between himself and the pain instead. But not Hayden. She’d stayed. A constant companion in the hell of his youth. He couldn’t ask her to do that again. Give up such an important piece of her life for him. He had to figure out a way to let her go.
“I didn’t really want to go with Justin anyway.” She shrugged as if it were no big deal, and Jace couldn’t contain his laugh.
“Bullshit. You liked that douchebag since freshman year. Not that I ever understood why.”
Hayden shifted uncomfortably beside him and sighed. “I only told you that so you wouldn’t know the truth.”
“Oh yeah?” He raised a brow, feeling pleasantly warm with the tequila in his veins and Hayden by his side. “And what was that?”
“That I had a huge crush on
you
.”
Jace’s heart roared to life, and blood rushed behind his ears. Silently, he replayed a hundred memories with Hayden, trying to dissect them and see them through new eyes. Why hadn’t he known?
Because back then you were a fucked-up, hurt kid who didn’t want to see what was right in front of you.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.
Hayden stretched her legs, pointing her toes toward the door, and laughed. “God, Jace, why? Because I knew you didn’t feel the same. Because I was just one of the guys to you.”
He may not have realized that he was in love with her back then, but one of the guys? “You were never one of the guys,” he said. “The guys didn’t give me hard-ons every time they pranced around the lake in their swimsuit.”
She burst out laughing and slapped her hand over her mouth. He didn’t have to look to know she was turning red, the color stretching up her neck to flush her cheeks. He loved it when she blushed. No. She was definitely
not
one of the guys. She’d always been more. It had just taken a decade for his head to catch up with his heart. And now it was too late.
Dragging up old memories only reminded him of how out of character tonight was for her. The Hayden he knew never would have taken a risk like meeting some random stranger for sex. He knew he shouldn’t push her, ask her the questions swirling around in his head, but he couldn’t help it.
“What was all this about, Hayden?” He watched her thread her finger through the belt loop of his jeans, just like she always did when she was thinking. “None of this is like you.”
“I know it’s not.” She made a frustrated sound that was probably sexier than she intended it to be. “That was the point. I just wanted one night of fun before…”
He frowned and rested his chin on top of her head. “Say it.”
“I know it’s dangerous, okay? I get it. I get why you don’t want me to go. But this is important to me, Jace.”
He shifted to face her, not missing the slight tremble in her bottom lip before she sucked it between her teeth to calm it. Damn it, he wanted that lip between
his
teeth. “Explain it to me.”
Hayden tucked her hair behind her ear, and an image of it wrapped around his fist as he consumed her flashed through his mind. He looked away to regain his control. If wanting Hayden the past year had felt impossible, having a taste of what it could be like was going to kill him. Touching her, tasting her…it had been fucking perfection. It was all he could think about now. He doubted he’d ever stop wanting more.
“It’s not just about the money or the spot in
Time
,” she said. “People need to see what’s going on over there. We sit here in our coffee shops and bars, blissfully unaware of what the guys over there are sacrificing for us. Guys like Nate. Guys like your dad.”
The passion in her voice combined with his brother’s name and the memory of his dead father caused a piece of him to crumble inside. She believed in this. She believed in it as much as she believed in him. In his family. He wanted to give her this. Just let her go and hope for the best, but…he couldn’t.
“I can’t lose you, Hayden.”
“You won’t,” she said. “Nate came back.”
He gritted his teeth. “Nate came back fucked up in the head.”
His gaze dropped to where her finger tugged on his belt loop. Her wrist brushed the bare skin on his side, and he shuddered with want. Did she have any idea what a simple touch from her did to him? Couldn’t she see how much he wanted her, or was she just as blind as he’d been all those years ago?
“If you’re so sure you’re going to come back safe, what was tonight about?”
Her finger slipped out of the loop, and she folded her hands in her lap. “If you had any idea how long it’s been since I’ve had sex, you wouldn’t have to ask.”
“Sex?” He raised a brow. “All of this was about sex?”
She scowled at him. “You try going without for eleven months.”
Little did she know he had gone
exactly
that long. He hadn’t been with someone else since the day that asshole had broken her heart and she had claimed his. He also knew it was a shit excuse. They both knew damn good and well she’d never been one for casual sex. She’d gone longer than eleven months before without doing something crazy like this. This was something else.
“He’s getting married,” she whispered. “To Julia. The wedding’s next month. He texted me to tell me about it.”
Jace frowned down at her, watching the emotions play out across her face. A single tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away with the back of her wrist. He knew she hated feeling weak and out of control. And he hated that that bastard still had this kind of power over her. He wanted to beat the fucker within an inch of his life for hurting her this way. He would have, too, if Hayden hadn’t made him promise to leave it alone. Jace had known Shane was a piece of shit from the first day he’d met him. He just wished Hayden hadn’t had to walk in on the asshole banging her cousin to figure it out for herself.
“Do you still love him?”
“No!” She shook her head. “Of course not.”
“Then why does it matter, sweetheart?”
“It doesn’t.” She looked away. “It’s just…he’s moving on. He gets to be happy. All I’ve gotten to be the last year is broken. And if something does happen, I don’t want Shane to be the last person I…” She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter now. What’s another year, right?” She laughed humorlessly. “Shane was right. I’m not…sexy. I couldn’t even pull off a one-night stand.”
The mention of that load of crap her asshole ex-boyfriend had said in an attempt to justify what he did a year ago set Jace’s blood on fire. Fuck that. He would
not
have her thinking she wasn’t sexy. In fact, he’d make it his mission to prove her wrong. If she laughed in his face, shut him down, so be it. But it was time for someone to fix what that jackass had broken. And that someone was going to be him. The thought of anyone else touching her made him crazy.
He tipped her chin up with his fingers. “You don’t think you’re sexy?” He laughed. “Did you not see what you did to me earlier?” What she was
still
doing to him just by sitting next to him. He shifted to adjust the situation growing to an uncomfortable size down below. He was getting hard all over again just thinking about the way her body and mouth had been molded to his.
“That doesn’t count,” she said. “You didn’t know it was me.”
Jace’s heart beat the shit out of his ribs as he traced her jaw with one finger. Admitting this felt as if he were cracking himself open for her. “I knew it was you.”
Hayden blinked at him, confused. “You knew?”
He nodded, hoping she felt even an ounce of what he did inside. After all this time together, how could she not? She had to. He just needed to coax it out.
“Don’t get me wrong. It took me off guard when you kissed me.” He smiled. “But the way you smell, the way you felt under my hands… I knew it was you.”
“And you kissed me back…”
“Yeah,” he said gently. “I kissed you back.” He’d wanted to do so much more than just kiss her back. He cupped her face and she closed her eyes, leaning in to his touch. “If this is what you need…” God, how to say this without sounding like he was just trying to get laid? This had to be about her. “I don’t want you to leave with regrets. If you need this—one night to erase that bastard—I could give that to you.”
She shot to her feet and backed away as if he was made of fire. “What exactly are you suggesting?”
Jace followed her up, determined not to let her get away. Not this time. “Sex.”
“W-With you?”
“With me.”
Her mouth dropped open, and her back hit the closed door.
“Come on, Hayden. Don’t act like you didn’t feel anything earlier. Are you going to stand there and tell me you’ve never thought about it? Not once?”
Her face flushed in the dim storage room light, and she averted her gaze. “Have you?”
“Yes.” He stepped into her space, his breath stirring the hair lying across her forehead. “You’re a beautiful, sexy-as-hell woman. Of course I have.”
“Jace…” Her hands found his chest, but she didn’t push him away. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“So we won’t ruin it.” He rested his palms on the door on either side of her head and leaned in. “It’s just one night. We both get what we want. What we need. And then we walk away.”
God, he was a special kind of bastard, lying to her like this. Because he had no intention of walking away after this. Ever. Hayden exhaled a shaky breath, and it fanned across his throat, the heat seeping through his pores and fueling his desire for her.
“What we
both
want?”
“Yes.” He leaned in a little closer, soaking in her heat and her smell. They were driving him over the edge of reason. “I want you, Hayden. Here. Now.”
“Just one night…right?” She slid her fingers down the planes of his chest, slowly, brushing them across the bare stomach at the edge of his jeans, and he hissed in a breath.
“Just one night.”
Chapter Five
Jace closed what little distance was between them and skimmed his nose over her throat. His breaths were ragged, and she couldn’t help but notice the way his forearms trembled on either side of her face. God, was this really happening? Sure, she’d fantasized about it. How could you not with Jace? The man was panty-melting hot. But it had always been just that. A fantasy. And when she woke up, hot, sweaty, and unsatisfied, she was just his pal again.
But now there was no denying what he wanted.
A nervous tremor rolled through her, rocking her to her core, and she swayed into him. “We should stop…talk about this,” she said, feeling something hot unravel low inside her. Why was she trying to give him a reason to stop? She didn’t want him to stop. Right now, all she wanted was to obliterate the space between them, consequences be damned.
Jace slid back a few inches and cupped her face in his hands, holding her so tenderly it seemed at complete odds with the intensity burning in his eyes. “Do you want me, Hayden?”
She could lie all she wanted, but her body was bound to give her away. Why couldn’t she let go? If she was going to for anyone, why not Jace?
Because you’ll fall in love with him all over again, and then he’ll walk away just like he said he would. Just like he does with every other girl who ends up in his bed.
Jace wasn’t some random stranger. He had a permanent place etched inside her heart. If this went badly, if she lost him, the pain it would cause would be irreparable. He hadn’t promised her anything here, other than tonight. In fact, he’d assured her it wouldn’t be anything more. This wasn’t about him being unable to resist her or being in love with her. This was Jace doing what he always did. Taking care of her, erasing the hurt she was feeling, no matter what the cost. It should have made this decision easy, but it didn’t. It just…hurt. It had taken years to get over loving Jace when they were kids. Could she do it again?
“Hayden?” He slid his thumbs down her neck and rested them over her pulse that beat wildly with the force of her want. His touch burned a path that went bone deep, brushing her soul, awakening emotions she hadn’t allowed herself to feel for years. She didn’t think anymore. She let her body and heart take control, choosing to give herself over to this, to him, even if it was only once. Even if she walked away heartbroken in the end.
“Yes,” she said with bated breath. “I want you.”
“Then we’re done talking.”
Before she could respond, his lips slammed against hers, hard and urgent like he needed her to breathe. She opened her mouth with a whimper, and Jace took advantage, sweeping his tongue inside to taste her. He groaned and brought his body flush against hers, pressing her into the door so that all she could feel was the heat of him, warming all the places where her too-tight clothes were plastered against her body. His chest swelled against her aching breasts. His erection, hard and hot, pressed against her, promising things she’d only dreamed of.
Oh, God…she was lost, and she never wanted to find her way back. Hayden allowed her hands to roam over his body, over the ink she so admired and wanted to taste, then opened her mouth wider under his. What had been forbidden territory for so long was laid out to explore, and she couldn’t get enough.
Jace pulled away, breathing hard, his dark eyes blazing with want and passion, searching her face as if he were looking for an unspoken answer. Whatever he was looking for, he must have found, because he claimed her mouth again without an ounce of hesitation. He tasted like tequila, lime, and pure Jace. He slid his hand up her ribs and closed his fingers over the thin fabric covering her breast. He rubbed his thumb over her nipple, and she arched into his waiting hand with a moan.
“Hayden…” Her name was a groan rolling off his lips as he kissed his way down her throat. He released her breast to slide his hands up the backs of her thighs and lift her against the door. She wrapped her legs around his waist, locking them together. His body held her in place, and he began to move his hips, creating a delicious friction against the long-neglected bundle of nerves that his erection rubbed over and over. Jace jerked the front of her dress down, releasing her breasts. For a moment he just stared while he caressed her jaw with his thumb.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispered.
“I am?”
His eyes met hers. “Yes.”
Without warning he set her on her feet. Hayden looked up at him, confused, ready to protest, until Jace fastened his lips around her nipple. His mouth was hot and wet…perfect. Her hands flew up to his head, and she threaded her fingers through his hair.
“Oh. My. God.” Hayden moaned as if she’d just eaten the world’s finest chocolate, and Jace grinned against her breast. He ran his warm palm along the inside of her thigh slowly, sliding up until he reached her panties. He nudged the silk aside and stroked her right where she ached.
“Fuck…you’re so wet.” He rubbed slow circles over her for a moment before he shoved her dress even higher, driving one finger and then a second inside her. “You’re wet for
me
. Say it, Hayden.”
Her head fell against the door, and a moan vibrated her throat. “You. Only you.”
Jace dropped to his knees and the room around them fell away. So did the sound of the music thumping against the walls. Only Jace existed. He found her clit with his thumb and pressed. Hayden cried out, grinding into his hand. She was beyond being embarrassed. She needed this. Needed
him
and all he had to give. Pressure built, pushing her higher, hotter, until she was ready to explode.
“I’m going to erase that fucker from your mind, Hayden.” His lips moved against the sensitive flesh on her stomach. “I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll only think of me.”
She choked on a sob wrapped around a moan. He was right. She’d never be able to be touched again without thinking of this. She’d never wanted anything or anyone as much as she wanted Jace, now or ever. He licked a path between her breasts and nipped at the underside of her chin. He curled his fingers inside her and growled, “Come for me.”
And then she was there, tightening around him as she screamed his name. Spots danced across her vision and pleasure exploded to life inside of her, sending waves of sparks through every vein, over every inch of her skin.
After he’d wrung every ounce of pleasure out of her, he stood and faced her. For one immeasurable moment, they just stared at each other, breathing hard, and then Hayden reached for him, slipping her fingers into his belt loops to pull him toward her.
Nothing would be the same after this.
He went for his zipper, but she beat him to it, jerking open the button and freeing his erection. He didn’t bother to take off his jeans, just shoved them down to his knees.
“You have no idea how much I want you right now, Hayden.” His lips grazed her mouth, his voice a rumble of heat. “Too much.”
She’d deal with the pain of “right now” later. Hayden wrapped her hand around his shaft, and he groaned as he fumbled for his wallet. He thrust into her hand as if he couldn’t stop himself.
He felt around in his pocket and froze. “Shit!”
“What?”
“My wallet…it’s in the office with my phone.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t have a condom.”
Silence hung in the air between them, and suddenly Hayden laughed. She couldn’t stop. She laughed hysterically until tears gathered in her eyes, and Jace wiped them away with his thumbs, looking at her as if she’d lost her damn mind.
“I-I have a whole box.” She shook her head and laughed. “In Lilly’s car. I didn’t want to be unprepared.”
“You unprepared? Guess there’s a first time for everything, right?” He grinned and brushed a soft kiss against her lips. “What do we do now?”
The laughter died in her throat as she met Jace’s hungry gaze. She was on the pill and she trusted him, but she couldn’t pass up this opportunity. She wanted to see him beg. Wanted him to be as mindless and crazy for her as she was for him. She leaned up and ran her tongue along his top lip, and he growled. He gripped her hips, pulling her forward so that she could feel him between her legs, and they both gasped.
Hayden peeled his fingers from her hips and dropped to her knees. She licked the tip of his cock, and Jace groaned so loudly she could feel it like an electric current all the way down to her toes. “You don’t have to—”
She sucked him down deep, and his words morphed into a moan. She knew she didn’t have to. She
wanted
to. Jace had bossed her around and called the shots for years.
It was her turn.
A loud bang forced Hayden’s eyes wide open, and then the door moved behind her back. Jace looked down, meeting her panic-filled eyes, and his palm flew out to hold the door shut.
“Just a minute!” he choked out. He tucked himself back into his jeans and jerked her up by the wrist, then righted her dress to cover her. He smoothed his hands over her hair and kissed her forehead.
“You ready?” His voice sounded gruff.
She nodded, feeling dazed, and he took his hand away from the door.
“Dude, what the hell are you doing in here?” Nate shoved the door open and froze mid-step, his arms loaded with a big box. He looked back and forth between Jace and Hayden, raising a brow. “Did I interrupt?”
Jace averted his gaze, shoving his fingers through his mussed hair. Hayden smoothed her hands over her wrinkled dress, feeling her face heat.
“I came in to—”
“She came in to talk to me and kicked the doorstop out,” Jace cut in, grabbing his shirt off the floor and pulling it over his head. “She didn’t know about the knob. We’ve been stuck in here for hours. Thanks for the rescue, asshat.”
Nate’s grin earned him a death glare from his brother, but he just waltzed in and set the box down. “Yeah, you both look like you’re miserable.”
With escape possible and Nate analyzing her freshly sexed state, the room suddenly felt too small for the three of them. She couldn’t breathe. It didn’t matter if the world outside hadn’t existed a few minutes ago. It existed now. What the hell had she been thinking? She was leaving tomorrow! And Jace… She didn’t want to imagine a life that didn’t include Jace when she returned. Would he even be able to look at her after this? Go back to Sunday nights eating Chinese takeout on her couch as if nothing had ever happened? Because she didn’t think she could. Heart in her throat, Hayden snatched her clutch off the floor and pushed past Nate. “I…I need some air.”
She sped through the nearly empty club and made it a few steps into the parking lot before a warm hand seized her wrist, bringing her to a halt. “Hayden, wait.”
She couldn’t face him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. She scanned the parking lot for Lilly’s car, but it was gone. So much for girl code. Her assistant was probably cozied up with some frat boy, reliving her college days.
Jace spun her around and gripped her shoulders. The look in his eyes was frantic, desperate. She’d never seen Jace like this, hanging on by a thread. “What… Were you just going to leave?” He sounded angry, hurt, and confused. He gestured back at the club. “After all that?”
“No…I just want…”
“What?” His chest heaved, and he gripped her tighter. “
What
do you
want
?”
Did she want to leave it alone? Forget it? She looked up at Jace, at the light sprinkle of rain gathering in his hair, running down his temple. In twenty-six years, no one had ever managed to make her feel even a fraction of what Jace had in that room. She was scared as hell about what would happen when the sun shed light on the whole mess in the morning, but for right now…she wanted to finish what they had started. For tonight, she wanted to imagine that she could actually have this. That it could be real. The look in his eyes was almost enough to fool her into thinking it was true. She slid her hand up his chest and gripped the fabric of his shirt in her fist.
“I want you to take me home,” she whispered. “And I want you to stay.”