No Strings Attached (The Pink Bean Series Book 1) (8 page)

“Focus on the first thing you said,” Kristin said. “You like her.”

“I’m forty-four years old. I can’t go texting a woman I have a crush on like that. It feels so… incredibly immature.”

“That’s not how I see it,” Sheryl said. “You’re doing the very brave thing of coming out later in life. That’s not easy. You have a lot to take into consideration, but in the end, you’re doing it for yourself, for your happiness. If you think Robin can bring you some happiness, why not try?”

“Moreover, you haven’t experienced your lesbian puberty,” Kristin added. “This is perfectly normal behavior for someone in your situation.”

“Text her,” Amber urged. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“She doesn’t reply and then comes into the coffee shop on Monday and pretends we never even knew each other,” Micky was quick to say.

Kristin shook her head. “Worst case scenario: we lose a customer.”

“I’ve only been working at The Pink Bean for two weeks, and I would have already lost you a customer.”

“The Pink Bean has plenty of other customers,” Sheryl said.

“So you’re all saying I should text her?” Micky took a big gulp of wine.

“Yes” came the unified reply.

Micky felt a twinge of guilt when she reached into her purse for her phone. She was always admonishing her children when they used their phones in social situations—usually the dinner table. She liked to believe she had raised them better than that. But the pull of a smartphone—the dozen dopamine shots it delivered to the brain with every new notification that pinged and every new message that arrived—was irresistible to a teenager. Now to Micky as well.

“I’ll just say ‘Hey, how are you?’” Micky said, then did so. “There. Done.” She put her phone on the table. “Now, please, let’s talk about something else. The way we’ve been going on about my one-night stand, you’d think we were all still in college instead of being mature adults.” Micky raised her glass. “Thank you so much for inviting us over.”

✶ ✶ ✶

Kristin, who appeared to be a domestic goddess as well as a pristine-looking, savvy businesswoman—Micky dreaded to think how much she paled in comparison to so much suave and expertise at life—had already served the mains of scrumptious home-made ravioli with wild mushrooms, and Micky still hadn’t received a text back.

As the night progressed and she’d poured more wine into her system, she’d adopted more of an oh-well attitude. At least her first time with a woman had been spectacular. At least she knew she wanted more. Robin wasn’t right for her anyway. Maybe now that she was more open to the idea of dating women, she should start the internet dating Amber was so against. Amber didn’t need to know.

“So it was an amicable divorce?” Micky heard Sheryl ask. She’d zoned out of the conversation for a second. The professor sure liked to ask the pertinent questions.

“As amicable as a divorce can be,” Micky said. “But Darren and I didn’t want to create a hostile environment for the kids.” Though, for a while, despite their best intentions, of course they had. Telling your kids that their home is being ripped apart will always be hostile.

“And the reason for the divorce was?” The more Sheryl drank of that exquisite wine she served, the more probing her questions became.

“Not what you might think.” Micky gave a nervous chuckle. “Our marriage just didn’t work anymore. It hadn’t for a while. The thought of having to stay with Darren for the rest of my life in what, perhaps for most people, looked like a perfectly acceptable union, depressed the hell out of me. When I first realized we were more like best friends than anything else, I thought, well, that works for me. Turned out it didn’t. We grew more distant. Darren works very long hours. I was always at home. The kids grew up. Then I woke up one day and had a long hard look at my life and wondered why the hell I was throwing it away.”

“Good for you.” Sheryl raised her glass.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Micky remembered the agony of waking up every morning and having to drag herself through another dreadful day of everything being exactly the same—and the complete opposite of how she wanted it to be.

“But in the end, one of the best,” Amber said.

Micky looked at her best friend. “Of course, Amber here, with all her psychic gifts, had seen it coming from miles away.”

“I guess I got a first hint of how unhappy you were when you started talking about exactly how hot Claire Underwood is in
House of Cards
.” Amber turned to Kristin and Sheryl. “The monologues I’ve sat through on the subject.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Micky said in her defense. “Besides, any creature with a pulse thinks Claire Underwood is the hottest woman to have ever graced the small screen. It’s pretty universal.”

“While there’s definitely some truth in that,” Sheryl said, “it must have given you an inkling of how you really felt about women?”

“Yes, when did you know?” Kristin asked.

Wow. All inhibitions were cast aside now. This was the sort of subject Micky never addressed, apart from a halfhearted conversation with Amber. But Amber always knew when to stop—probably because she wasn’t a big consumer of alcohol like the other people at this table.

“Really know? Not that long ago. But I have to admit I was in denial for a very long time. I was also happily married for almost two decades. It just, I don’t know, never really occurred to me.” Micky glanced at Amber. “Even though, all the while, my very best friend was a lesbian.”

“Talk about being in denial,” Amber said. “Denial is probably not even the correct word to describe how deep you had buried your true desires.”

“Better late than never,” Sheryl said. “I applaud your courage. I dread to think how many women in your position don’t take any steps and just continue with their passionless lives.”

“What about you guys? How long have you been together?” Micky felt like talking about something other than herself.

“We’ll be celebrating our twenty years together next year,” Kristin said, placing a hand on Sheryl’s shoulder. “Gush about me all you want, honey.” She pecked Sheryl on the cheek. “I’m going to get dessert ready.”

“Do you need a hand with that?” Amber asked. She wasn’t nearly as intoxicated as Micky was. She didn’t wait for Kristin’s reply, and they both disappeared into the kitchen together.

“Twenty years,” Micky repeated. “I’m so in awe of that.” They must have gotten together around the same time she and Darren had met—a lifetime ago.

“As corny as it sounds, I guess we’re soul mates. Kristin has been the one and only for me for twenty years now, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

That did sound corny, but also very beautiful.

“Let me tell you something, Micky.” Sheryl leaned over the table. She was obviously the biggest drinker of the pair. “It’s important to surround yourself with like-minded people. It really is. Of course, times are different now. Everything is much more open and accepted, but if I hadn’t had the support network I had when I was younger, I wouldn’t be sitting here with my partner of twenty years today. You were lucky to have Amber, and now you have us as well, okay?”

“Okay,” Micky said. She wasn’t that tipsy to know that sometimes, under the influence, some people were prone to make big declarations. Or maybe this was just the kind of person Sheryl was. Sitting here in her and Kristin’s home, Amber by her side, Micky felt as though she had started a new chapter in her life. “At least I’m out at work,” she joked.

“No news from Robin yet, huh?” Sheryl sank back into her chair.

“It’s okay. Not having to sit at home and obsess about it on my own while my children are in their rooms doing God knows what really helps.”

Amber and Kristin emerged from the kitchen, each carrying a plate.

“Apple crumble for dessert,” Kristin said. “I hope there’s some room left in your bellies.”

Micky might not have the tiniest bit of appetite left after the scrumptious meal Kristin had already served, but what she had plenty of space for in her heart and in her life, were new friends like these.

CHAPTER TEN

The first thing Micky did when she woke up on Sunday morning, was reach for her phone. When she’d arrived home late the night before, she’d drunkenly taken it into the bedroom with her. She still hadn’t received a text back from Robin, which, despite having had a wonderful evening last night, didn’t sit right with her. Why the silence? If Robin wanted to be friends—be it with benefits or not—shouldn’t she at least have the courtesy to text back?

Micky felt like one of her teenagers when she checked her phone for messages like this in bed. Nine times out of ten, when she opened Olivia’s bedroom door—after knocking first, of course—she’d find her daughter in the position she was now lying in herself, painfully uncomfortable. Christopher was more glued to his laptop screen than to his phone, playing the online versions of the video games she and Darren had always refused to buy for him.

On her phone, Micky found a message from Amber, sent two hours ago. Of course, Amber had been up since the crack of dawn. She’d probably already meditated for an hour and repotted some plants. If anyone was the polar opposite of Micky, it was her best friend. And they’d managed to be friends for almost forty years.

What a great night last night. They’re definitely keepers! See you tonight,
Amber’s message read. Micky’s best friend couldn’t help it. She even sounded upbeat in her text messages, even the ones sent frightfully early on a Sunday morning. The message also reminded Micky that she, the kids, and Amber were having dinner at her mother’s that night. Micky and Amber always joked that they were more like sisters than friends, but after Amber’s parents had both passed away in quick succession more than fourteen years ago—sparking Amber’s zest to adopt an ultra-healthy lifestyle—Micky’s mother had, in fact, started treating Amber as one of her own.

Next, Micky went on Facebook. The only reason she was even on that particular social network—or any other one—was to see what her children were up to. It had caused a bit of a ruckus at the breakfast table one day when Micky had created her profile and sent Olivia a friend request.

“But you’re my mom,” her daughter had said, as though it was the most self-explanatory sentence in the world.

“Exactly,” Micky had replied. “We know each other. I can even mark you as family.”

Olivia, only eleven at the time, had rolled her eyes, and said, “Just don’t go posting embarrassing things on my wall.”

“She just wants to check up on us,” Christopher had said, hitting the nail on the head exactly.

“And what if I do?” Micky’s parenting style wasn’t one of subtleness and discretion.

Neither Olivia, nor Christopher had posted something since the last time she checked. They’d probably moved on to the next big thing. Micky had heard Olivia mention something like Snapchat the other day—“All the celebs are on there these days.”—with great excitement in her voice.

Darren, on the other hand, had been tagged by one of his Facebook-crazy mates at a pub in the CBD. Micky couldn’t help it, but her heart always skipped a beat when Darren was mentioned, on Facebook or elsewhere. She was gripped by an irrational fear that he’d soon replace Micky.

Despite a slightly protruding middle-age waistline, he was a good-looking single man with a nice chunk of change in the bank. Off the top of her head, Micky could easily think of plenty of women who would find that irresistible. Of course, Darren shared equal custody of the kids with her, which might make him seem a little less attractive to prospective love interests. Having two teenagers in the house half the time isn’t the biggest love drug—Micky could testify to that.

But on weekends when the kids were with her, Micky was always extra wary when she checked Facebook and saw Darren’s name appear. He might have met someone at that pub he was at last night. Who knew? Was her ex-husband waking up alone this morning? They didn’t have the kind of post-divorce relationship where Micky could just ask him. They got along, but the wound of the separation was still too raw for them to have already crossed over into friendship.

While Micky was pondering Darren’s love life, her phone beeped, causing her heart to fling itself against her rib cage.

It was from Robin.

Had to go out of town unexpectedly for a few days. Back this afternoon. Wanna meet up tonight?

Micky sat up a bit straighter. Ouch. Her head hurt more than anticipated when she did. This was good. Robin hadn’t been avoiding her. And she wanted to meet up tonight. That was out of the question, of course. Micky pondered what to do. Should she reply immediately or wait at least an hour? To hell with it. She was replying now. She wanted to have a real conversation with Robin, one that would take away that nagging feeling in her gut of not knowing what to do and how to behave in this new-to-her situation.

Can’t tonight. Kids are here. Tomorrow evening?
She texted back.

Micky figured she could sneak out for a quick drink tomorrow. Olivia always went swimming on Monday evening, and Christopher would barely notice she was gone.

OK. I’ll see you at The Pink Bean in the morning. We can set it up then.

Micky’s headache suddenly didn’t seem so bad anymore. She jumped out of bed and into the shower.

✶ ✶ ✶

With her kids in the backseat of the car, Micky couldn’t tell Amber about her text message exchange with Robin. She’d tried to steal her away from the kids when she’d arrived, but both Olivia and Christopher seemed to always perk up around their Aunt Amber. It must be her positive energy. Something Amber had tried to school Micky in many a time, but Micky must have a different kind of spirit because no matter what Amber said or did, it never stuck. Still, it was always nice to be around her. She always glowed with good health and vibes. She was also godmother to both of Micky’s children.

When Christopher was born, Micky hadn’t even had to think about it. There was no competition. Micky didn’t have any brothers or sisters and Amber was her best friend and had been since they were six. Darren knew the score and didn’t object, knowing how important it was to Micky to give Amber a role like that in their firstborn’s life, despite the fact that his sister Daisy was also in serious contention for the part.