No Turning Back (8 page)

O
n Monday, Sipho was either advertising T-shirts at the corner or minding the front of the shop to see that no one stole anything from the tables. When Mr. Danny said he could break for lunch, Sipho told him that he wanted to look for his friends. None of them had come past on their way to the video shop.

“Just make sure you’re back in an hour,” Mr. Danny warned. “By the way, Maria’s made you a sandwich. You’d better take it with you.”

Mr. Danny was puzzling. One minute he seemed ready to jump down his throat, the next he was taking care of him. Biting off mouthfuls of sandwich as he ran, Sipho darted along the pavement, in and out of shoppers and pavement sellers, making his way to Checkers. He was nearly there when he caught sight of Joseph and Jabu in a side street “parking” a car. Sipho called out and waited for them to finish. Wasn’t this near the place he had seen them the first time—
only a week ago? Joseph still had his army jacket, but this time he had a woolen hat pulled down to his eyebrows. He greeted Sipho but didn’t smile.

“Heyta, buti!
Where have you been? We thought you might have been kidnapped!” At least Jabu seemed really pleased to see him.

Sipho grinned. “What made you think that?”

Someone from another gang, explained Jabu, had seen Sipho standing at the corner and shouting about Danny’s Den. Someone else thought they had seen him in the back of a car being driven by a white man. Then when he didn’t appear again, they began to wonder what had happened.

Sipho told his story, adding that he still wasn’t sure whether Mr. Danny would take him home again that night. He was waiting to see. But what had happened to the gang?

“What do you think? When you were in your nice bed, we were still on the street!” There was a note of roughness in Joseph’s voice.

“Cool it, Joe!” said Jabu, putting his hand on Joseph’s shoulder. The last two nights had been spent in a small yard at the back of a drugstore. It kept them out of the wind at least. The problem was that they had to be out of there before the manager arrived in the morning.

“Lucas is looking for a new place for us. Maybe he’ll find something good,” said Jabu hopefully.

There was no sign of the others outside Checkers, and it was soon time for Sipho to get back to Danny’s Den. Joseph laughed that Sipho was worried about being late.

“Me, I like my freedom, man! Right now, I feel like a rest. So I take it!”

He slid down to the pavement, his back against the Checkers wall with one hand resting on the familiar bulge in his pocket.

“I’ll walk with you,” offered Jabu. “I can show you where we have our
pozzie.”

Something in Joseph’s manner had warned Sipho off asking him about
iglue
in his hair. He had taken note of the cap.

“He doesn’t like people to see his head now,” said Jabu. He made quick snipping movements with two fingers around Sipho’s head. “Some of them laugh and call him
‘cheesekop.’
The barber shaved off all his hair!”

It was the same for Matthew. When the
iglue
wouldn’t wash out, they had looked for a barber. Some chased them away because
malunde
sometimes annoyed their customers, making fun of unusual styles. However, this barber had been shocked by their story, and he didn’t even charge them. But while Matthew now joked about his head as smooth as a piece of cheese, Joseph was still very upset.

They were just a couple of blocks away from
Danny’s Den when two angry voices rose above the hum of the street. Seeing a small crowd gathered nearby, the boys made their way into it.

“You always follow me and I’m sick of it! Can’t you leave me alone!”

A very young woman with heavy makeup, swinging earrings, a shiny red blouse and a short black skirt was shouting in a high voice at an older man in a pale blue suit. He was short and fat, with his arms folded, although his small, piercing eyes suggested that his arms were ready to swipe out at any moment.

“You promise to meet me and then you don’t turn up! You need to be taught a lesson you won’t forget.”

The man’s voice was a growl. It brought back horrible memories for Sipho. Since he had come to live in the township he had also seen this kind of argument between a man and a woman. He knew what was going to happen, and it would be upsetting to watch. This young woman was hardly more than a girl, about as old as Lucas. Mr. Danny would also be angry if he was late. Tapping his friend on the arm, he signaled goodbye and slipped out between the onlookers.

“I’ll come and see you,” Jabu called after him. He was staying to watch the whole scene develop.

Mr. Danny took Sipho home with him that
evening—and the one after that and the one after that. Nothing was directly said. But every evening Sipho swept, and sometimes washed, the shop floor while Mr. Danny worked in the office. And every evening when Mr. Danny had finished, he would look out of the office door and say, “Okay, Sipho? Ready to go?”

At the house, Mama Ada and Copper would greet them at the door. Copper would bark, wag his tail and rub up against them. Even if she was busy with her homework, Judy would still call out “Hello.” Mama Ada would ask him about his day and he would answer her, trying to remember not to let his conversation become too free in case he let out something that uncovered his true past. Only David remained very withdrawn, hardly speaking to Sipho at all. What made Sipho feel more awkward was that Mr. Danny had given him some clothes David had grown out of—some of them still quite new. But the way David looked at him, without saying anything, made Sipho feel like he had no right to them…almost like he was a thief.

Some evenings, instead of watching television, Judy would take out cards or a board game for them to play. Occasionally Mr. Danny joined in, but mostly it was Judy and Sipho. She asked him about his schooling, and he told her that he had made it to grade two. Judy offered to help
him, finding a couple of old grade two math and English books. They had belonged to David, who was now in grade four. But by nighttime, after a full day’s work, Sipho found it hard to concentrate on schoolwork, so the lesson was never for very long.

David stayed in his room when he wasn’t watching the television or using it for his video games. One night, however, at the end of Sipho’s first week, he seemed in a better mood than usual and invited his father to try his video speed-racing game.

“I’ll have to practice secretly so I beat you one of these days!” laughed Mr. Danny as his final score came up on the screen. “Here, Sipho, why don’t you have a go?” Mr. Danny held out the controls, offering them to Sipho. But as he took them, David stormed out of the room, banging the door. Copper, whose sleep had been disturbed, jumped up and sniffed at the door.

“David, come back!” called Mr. Danny, but there was no response.

Sipho tried to concentrate on the game while father and daughter spoke in lowered voices. Then Mr. Danny left the room, and Sipho put the game down. He wasn’t enjoying it at all.

“I’ll go to bed,” he told Judy.

“Sipho, you must try not to mind David.” Her
voice was apologetic. “Since Mum left home last year, he’s been really difficult. He’s lost his temper with everyone, even Ada.”

“He doesn’t like me,” Sipho stated simply.

‘At the moment he doesn’t like anyone,” replied Judy.

He was reaching out to the door handle when Judy said, “You see, David was always Mum’s little boy…”

On the last three words, her voice suddenly wavered and stopped. She usually sounded so confident about everything. Sipho turned around to face her. She was twisting some long strands of hair around her finger.

“When she and I had rows even over silly little things, David always used to take Mum’s side. And then when the big rows started between her and Dad, he used to blame Dad. That’s why it was such a shock for him when she left…”

There was another pause.

“I bet her boyfriend didn’t want David tagging along when they went off to Cape Town…David wouldn’t even speak to Mum on the phone when she rang. Dad just buries himself in his work now, and I tend to get on with things. But David still shows the hurt.”

Sipho didn’t know what to say, and luckily it seemed that Judy didn’t expect a reply. Running
her fingers through her hair, she suddenly seemed to be embarrassed.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sipho, to have gone on for so long about our problems. I forgot that you know what it’s like to lose your mother and everything.”

Sipho bit on his lip and said goodnight.

Throughout the next day, while he worked at the shop, Sipho’s mind kept coming back to what Judy had told him, especially her statement “You must try not to mind David.” But when David looked at him like he was a piece of dirt, it hurt. Judy had said her brother was angry with everyone. Sipho remembered the rage he had felt the last time his stepfather had beaten him. He had cut himself off for days from everyone then. Was that how it was with David? But he, Sipho, had been filled with anger because his stepfather was brutal, beating him for no reason, and his mother wouldn’t—or couldn’t—protect him. David wasn’t being beaten. And didn’t he have almost everything he wanted in this house? Except his mother. His mother had chosen someone else instead of him. That hurt. He knew…

But then there was also the way David flinched slightly any time Sipho went past. As if Sipho might give him some disease. Whatever David’s reasons, he left Sipho feeling bad. David
forced him to remember that he didn’t really belong with this family.

It seemed he didn’t belong with the
malunde
either anymore. He had seen some members of the gang once or twice during his midday break or when they passed Danny’s Den on the way to the video shop. Jabu had come by a few times specially. But their time together was always short, and Mr. Danny didn’t like people coming into the shop if they weren’t going to buy anything. What Sipho missed was being free to go around together, to chat and look at things in the streets, without being rushed. He had only once been able to check during the week to see that the little wooden rhino was still for sale. He had found it again, looking at him with its worried eye.

“I’ll come and get you one day soon, don’t worry!” he had whispered under his breath.

But Mr. Danny hadn’t given him any money yet, and he was unsure about asking. Maybe Mr. Danny was going to give him wages at the end of the month like an adult worker? Or maybe…he wouldn’t get anything because he was staying and eating in Mr. Danny’s house now.

But in the meantime, he wasn’t Mr. Danny’s prisoner, was he? At least he could spend Sunday with his friends—and be out of David’s way. Sipho began to plan his day off.

M
r. Danny and Judy seemed a little surprised when Sipho announced on Saturday night that he would be going out to see his friends the next day. David, as usual, just stared at him, although this time Sipho thought there was a flicker of curiosity in his eyes.

“Portia’s coming around tomorrow. It was fun last week when you were here too,” said Judy.

But Sipho had made up his mind, and he wasn’t put off by the thought of walking all the way to Hillbrow.

“You must be back by seven-thirty at the latest, mind. Otherwise you’ll have us all worried,” Mr. Danny said firmly, raising one eyebrow.

Sipho wondered how he did that.

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

He didn’t have a watch, but if he started walking back from Hillbrow at the time the sun began to go down, he would be all right.

Sipho intended to get to the gang’s new
pozzie
when they would be waking up. As he opened the front door early on Sunday morning while the rest of the house was still all quiet, Copper wagged his tail excitedly. He thought Sipho was going to take him for a walk. Mr. Danny usually ran around a few blocks with Copper galloping beside him early in the morning.

“No, Copper, you can’t come with me,” Sipho whispered. “Mr. Danny will take you later.”

Slipping through the door, he closed it swiftly behind him with Copper looking sorrowful. Only as the latch clicked did he remember that the gate was locked and that the button to open it was inside the house. The gate and the walls were high. He could try to climb them, but what if someone outside saw him and thought he was a burglar? If he rang the bell, that would wake Mr. Danny. Sipho began to think he would just have to wait a while, when he remembered Mama Ada. There was a chance that she might be up, if he went to her room around the back of the house.

Mama Ada was indeed awake and had already washed and dressed.

“I always get up at five. Even Sundays, so I can leave early to see my children,” she told Sipho as she opened the back door to the house
with her key. “You know, I miss my children even now they are big! It’s the same with every mother.”

Why did she say this to him? He wasn’t going to let himself fall into a trap.

“But, Mama, why did Mr. Danny’s wife leave her children?”

“Hawu,
Sipho! That question is too difficult. I don’t like to think of it. When I see Judy and David and think of their mother, my heart is very sore. When David was small, he was such a happy little boy.”

Mama Ada didn’t say any more. But before she pressed the button for the gate, she told Sipho to take care and to be sure to return by the time Mr. Danny had said.

“You have a roof over your head and food in your stomach in this house, my child,” she added.

Could Mama Ada have sensed some of his thoughts, wondered Sipho? He set off at a jog down the tree-lined street, and his mind was soon racing ahead to the different things he and his friends might do together during the day.

It wasn’t as he had imagined it would be. When he arrived in the alleyway at the back of the drugstore, there was no sound coming from the
pozzie.
When Jabu had brought him past here before, he had noted that the drugstore’s
wall was not quite as high as the others, but it was still taller than he was. Finding a broken brick for one foot, Sipho heaved himself up. The whole gang was still sound asleep in a heap in the far corner! He had forgotten that the shop didn’t open on Sunday and so they wouldn’t need to get up until later. They had probably only gone to sleep after the Saturday late-night crowds had gone home. Swinging himself over, he dropped down quietly and sat in one corner. The cold rose through the concrete floor. With tall buildings all around, the early-morning sun didn’t reach the yard. Time seemed to pass slowly. If only Jabu had been lying on the outside of the pile of
malunde,
Sipho might have tried waking him without disturbing the others. But Jabu was tucked right in the middle of everyone.

The sun was high when the gang woke up. No one seemed particularly surprised to see Sipho sitting there. Even Jabu was still half asleep at first and just nodded his greeting between yawns.

“Did your new boss give you the sack?” Joseph wanted to know.

When Sipho explained he had come just for the day, Joseph lost interest. A little later as they were walking to the main street, Lucas asked Sipho about Mr. Danny. Was there any place for
a
pozzie
at the back of his shop and was he friendly? Sipho explained that the yard at Danny’s Den was completely closed in. And although Mr. Danny had taken him in to work for him, he didn’t like
malunde
hanging around in front of his shop.

The gang spread themselves out between a restaurant, a cafe, and a take-out shop. Sipho stood with them, putting out his hands when a customer walked by. Not having eaten since the night before, he was also hungry. But when Vusi asked him if he ate roast meat every day with Mr. Danny, although he said “no,” he suddenly felt guilty. When he went back to Mr. Danny’s home, there would be a meal waiting for him—as much as he wanted to eat. What surprised the others, however, was that Sipho didn’t have any money with him.

“You must be hiding it, man! How can you work for that white man and he doesn’t pay you?” Joseph was disbelieving and his hoarse voice cut into Sipho.

“He gives me food and clothes. It’s only money he doesn’t give. But I think he’ll give it to me at the end of the month,” explained Sipho.

“Hey, that’s funny. You didn’t ask? What kind of boss is it who doesn’t give money?” Joseph shook his head and made a face. He seemed to be suggesting that Sipho was either a liar or stupid.

“]a,
you must ask your boss,” Vusi added casually. “Everyone has to pay.”

Sipho didn’t like the way Vusi was looking at him, and he was grateful that Lucas was nearby.

Later on, the gang decided to go to Parktown. They would spend the rest of the afternoon at the Zoo Lake and “ask money” from people having an afternoon out. There might even be a chance to slip into the zoo itself. Sipho wanted to go too, but it was in the other direction from Mr. Danny’s house and he was worried that he would not be back in time.

“When you are
malunde,
you are free!” Joseph laughed openly.

It was tempting to go along with them. Sipho had never been to a zoo before. Would it matter so much if he was a bit late? But before he could say anything, Jabu announced that he was staying behind in Hillbrow. There was a film he wanted to see at the
bhiyo.
He was friendly with the person on the door for the afternoon show, and if it wasn’t full up she would sneak Jabu and Sipho in.

The film had lots of shooting and fast cars chasing each other. Jabu’s friend, the attendant, had whispered to them to go to the very front row. They were so close to the screen it was almost like they were in the action themselves. Sipho and Jabu
gripped their seats as their car hurtled full-speed around the sharp bends of a narrow mountain road. Each time it nearly went over the edge, they gritted their teeth. Finally, when the car chasing them crashed and burst into flames, they cheered with others in the audience.

When it was all over, they walked out arm in arm into the street. Sipho could tell from the pink light that it was nearly time for him to go. But he held back. He was enjoying himself here in Hillbrow.

“It’s true what Joseph said. When you are
malunde
you’re free,” he said to Jabu.

Jabu made a sucking sound, drawing air in through his teeth. “Joseph talks that way because he’s jealous! When he’s sleeping on the cold ground, you are sleeping in a warm bed and when he’s hungry, you have hot food inside you.”

That was very true. But it was also true that he, Sipho, wasn’t free. It was hard to put into words, but he began to tell Jabu about Mr. Danny’s family. While he knew Mr. Danny was trying to help him, his son, David, made him feel very uncomfortable. He couldn’t ever really belong to Mr. Danny’s family, could he? So shouldn’t he just join the gang of
malunde
again?

Jabu interrupted him. Sipho was surely crazy. Didn’t he see that the boy David was
trying
to
make him leave? Why should he give up everything just because of him? And had he forgotten all the bad things…the cold winds at night…searching always for money and food…not being safe and being attacked?

“If it was me, I would be happy to stay with Mr. Danny,” he declared.

Sipho was quiet. Jabu was right, of course, and sensible. But still he didn’t understand how he, Sipho, felt.

“Well, I have to go,” he said finally.

He was pleased when Jabu began to walk with him. It was rapidly getting dark, and he expected his friend to turn back once they reached the end of Hillbrow, but Jabu walked on. They were so busy talking, kicking an empty can along the pavement and still talking, that almost before Sipho realized it they had walked all the way to the street where Mr. Danny’s house was. Suddenly he felt very bad. He was going to go inside, and Jabu was going to be left outside. It had been fun walking together, but now Jabu would have to walk back to Hillbrow by himself. Perhaps he could come inside first to have something to drink? If Judy opened the door he felt sure that would be all right. But as he pressed the button on the box by the gate, he noticed that Mr. Danny’s car was out of the garage. He and Judy must have gone to take Portia home.

“Who is it?” David’s voice came sharply out of the box.

“It’s me, Sipho.”

There was no reply, but after a few moments the iron gate began to move slowly aside. There was no point in asking Jabu to come with him. David would say bluntly that he wasn’t allowed to let strangers into the house, and that would be even worse.

Sipho stepped inside the drive, and he and Jabu stood on opposite sides as the gate began to slide back again.

“Hey, these people have all kinds of smart things!” Jabu’s large, dark eyes followed the movement. “It’s like there’s a spook pushing it!” he added.

They both laughed. Then Sipho heard the front door click open behind him. David must be there watching them. He looked through the iron bars at his friend shut out on the other side. He could see that Jabu’s eyes had wandered in the direction of the door.

“We’ll meet soon,” said Jabu.
“Sala kahle.”

“Yes, I shall come to look for you.
Hamba kahle,”
Sipho replied.

For a few moments he watched the figure of his friend as it slipped from a patch of light under a streetlamp into a stretch of darkness. Then he turned to face the house.