Authors: Rebecca Kertz
“Amos has our buggy. Yours is outside,” Mae said. “Tom picked up Jedidiah, who drove ours the rest of the way to the hospital. Your brother rode home with the Zooks, leaving us the buggy. Samuel brought your family buggy and then he and your other brothers got a ride home with the Hershbergers and Masts.”
Noah approached Mae. “You will come with us?”
The woman smiled. “
Nay.
Amos is not far; Tom went back for him and our youngest. Amos took Joshua for an ice cream. He’ll be back to take us home.”
Shortly afterward, Noah, his mother and his sister climbed into the family buggy and headed home. Noah was quiet during the journey. Suddenly, he needed his mother to know how he felt. “
Mam,
I love her.”
“I know you do.” Katie shifted her daughter more comfortably in her arms.
“Someone hurt her in the past. I don’t know who.”
“Ja.”
Mam
looked as if she would say something more, but kept silent.
“I want to marry her. I’ll wait until she agrees. I will be patient.” He exhaled sharply. “She is worth the wait.”
His mother’s answer was to place a hand on his arm and give it a quick, light squeeze.
They were silent for a time. Hannah had fallen asleep on Katie’s lap. The only sounds were the horse’s hooves on macadam and the squeak of the buggy wheels as they turned over pavement.
“Noah, I have something I need you to do,” Katie said after a time. “There is a pile of
The
Budget
in the barn. I’d like you to gather the newspapers and bring them into the house. I would like your help sorting through them.”
Rachel was in the hospital, and
Mam
was thinking about cleaning out the barn? He shrugged. “All right.”
“Noah.”
“Ja, Mam?”
He turned toward her.
“Rachel will be fine.”
He managed a smile. “I pray to the
gut
Lord that it is so.”
Katie nodded. “It is always the best thing to do.”
Chapter Seventeen
E
arly the next morning, Noah helped his mother into the buggy and then ran around to hop into the seat beside her. “Do ya think she’ll be awake when we get there?” he asked.
Katie shifted to make herself comfortable and waved through the window to her eldest son, who would be in charge of the children until their return. “She may…especially if she slept all of yesterday afternoon and last night.”
Noah flicked the leathers to spur the horse on. Today they were taking their horse Jerry John; he was eager to make better time with the young gelding.
“You never told me about Rachel’s accident,” he said.
“It wasn’t my secret to tell.” Katie straightened her
kapp
as she glanced at her son. “With all that’s happened, I thought a little information might be helpful to you.”
Noah couldn’t control a grin. “And by having me ‘help’ sort through the newspapers…”
Katie nodded. “You just might stumble onto the issue with news from Millersburg…about a young woman involved in a courting-buggy accident.” Her small smile faded as Rachel’s misfortune that day seemed to have taken hold of her thoughts. “You went to see Mae?”
“
Ja.
She told me what happened. How Abraham Beiler left her while she was still recovering in the hospital.” Noah scowled. “What type of man does that to a woman?”
“A guilt-ridden one, I’d say.” Katie waved to a neighbor along the road. “Don’t judge him too harshly, Noah. It wouldn’t surprise me if he left because he couldn’t face her.”
“But to marry her best friend within months?” Noah shook his head. “I will try hard to think kindly of him.” He brightened. “If not for his actions, then Rachel wouldn’t have come to us, and I would not have met the woman I love.”
His mother smiled at him and then turned to look out the side buggy window. She was silent for a time. Suddenly, she turned to him, placed a hand on his arm. “You know she suffered injuries in the accident,” she said softly.
He patted her hand. “I know. Mae explained, but it makes not a bit of difference about how I feel about her. Knowing the truth, I love her even more.”
Katie looked satisfied. “She loves you, but she is afraid of getting hurt again.”
Noah knew how vulnerable Rachel was and there was no way he would ever hurt her. “I know. I will wait until she is ready…until I can prove to her that she has nothing to fear in our future together.”
He could sense his mother’s surprise. “You asked the Kings’ permission.”
“
Ja.
I wanted to do this right. They know that I will not rush her. They are happy that we have found each other.”
“As your
dat
and I are,” Katie commented with a grin.
The ride, which Noah expected to last forever considering how eager he was to see Rachel, was over much more quickly than he thought it would be. He pulled into the hospital parking lot and around to the hitching post in the back of the building. He secured Jerry John and then helped his mother alight.
Katie smiled at him as he helped her step down. “You will make a fine husband.”
Noah blinked. “Are you looking to have grandchildren?”
“I have a babe of my own still. Grandchildren, if and when they come, are blessings from God. I was not referring to that part of marriage.”
Noah felt his stomach tighten as the truth of Rachel’s pain hit him. “I know.”
He reached into the buggy and withdrew a bouquet of wildflowers. He remembered how pleased she’d looked the first time he’d given her flowers. He hoped the posies would cheer her.
Katie looked at her son’s face and the flowers he held carefully in his hands. “We should check on Rachel. I think she will be looking to have visitors now.”
* * *
The pain in Rachel’s abdomen wasn’t as bad as it had been last night. She had awakened in the middle of the night, crying out, disturbed by the hospital surroundings. She had thought it was a year ago again, and the pain was from the buggy accident. She had sobbed as all the terror and heartache had come rushing in.
Upon hearing Rachel’s cry, the night nurse had come into the room and calmed her, explaining that she’d had an appendectomy. The woman had given Rachel something for the pain, and finally Rachel had been able to go back to sleep, sore but with the pain manageable and the terror of the past eased.
This morning another nurse had come and adjusted Rachel’s bed so that she was more comfortable. Rachel had dozed on and off for a time until just a short while ago, when the pain had disturbed her sleep. She wondered where everyone had gone—Noah, Charlotte, Aunt Mae and Uncle Amos.
A hospital worker came into her room. The bed beside hers was empty; the woman who’d had gall-bladder surgery had been discharged the previous afternoon, the nurse had told her. Someone else would no doubt be moved into the room today.
“Would you like some Jell-O?” the girl asked. She had blond hair, not unlike Charlotte’s, and she looked about sixteen in her pink uniform. Her name badge read “Jessie.”
Rachel shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” Jessie said, “but it’s all you can have. You can have that or a cup of tea. You’re on a liquid diet today.”
Rachel managed a smile. “Thank you,” she said easily in English, “but I don’t need anything right now.”
Jessie nodded as if she understood. “I’ll come back later. Perhaps you’ll want a cup of tea then.”
“Thank you,” Rachel said. She closed her eyes briefly and brought up the image of Noah’s face. He had been so comforting and caring during the ride to, and at, the hospital. Where was he?
She felt a burning in her stomach. Abraham Beiler had never come to see her.
But Noah is different, and he will come.
She heard a familiar voice outside her room and thought,
Noah!
She opened her eyes as Noah and Katie Lapp stepped through the doorway.
“Rachel!” Noah hurried to her side.
“Noah!” she breathed. He was here, and she had never been so happy to see anyone.
“How are you feeling?”
She gave a crooked smile. “Sore, but much better…because of you.”
“Rachel.” Katie Lapp stepped forward. Rachel regarded the woman with warmth. “Katie. I’m so glad you came to see me.” She gestured toward the chairs by the bed. Noah took the one closest to her head. Katie sat in the chair beside him.
“We were all worried about you,” Katie said. “The waiting room was full—we were told that we couldn’t all stay.”
Tears glistened in Rachel’s eyes. “Everyone came. That is wonderful to hear.” She was moved by the concern of her new church community. “Please tell everyone how much I appreciate their concern.” Noah handed her a bouquet of wildflowers. “These are beautiful, Noah.” Smiling, she set them in her plastic water cup. Noah helped to hold the cup still for her.
“The Kings will be here later,” Noah said. He reached out to grab hold of her hand. “
Mam
and I wanted to come first thing. Jedidiah is in charge of the children today.”
Amused at the thought, Rachel raised her eyebrows. “I bet he isn’t happy about that.”
Katie smiled and regarded her with twinkling eyes. “It isn’t the first time one of my sons has helped out. With seven sons and a baby daughter, it is often necessary for one of them to lend a hand in the kitchen or garden.”
“Did you see the doctor this morning?” Noah asked. He still held her hand, and Rachel enjoyed the contact.
Rachel flashed Katie a quick glance before returning her attention to Noah. “She was in earlier. I am doing as well as expected.”
If it bothered Katie to see her son’s open display of affection, Katie didn’t show it. “You will stay at the Kings’ during your recovery?”
Rachel frowned. “I had hoped to stay in the cottage.”
Katie gave a nod. “We thought as much. We will take turns staying with you until you are well enough to be on your own.”
“I didn’t expect that—”
“Rachel,” Noah interrupted softly, “it will be for your own good, and you know the women will enjoy it.”
Rachel recalled the fun she’d had when her cousins had stayed with her the first few nights after she’d moved in.
“Ja,”
she said. “I know my cousins will.”
The three of them talked for a time until an hour flew by. Katie rose. “I think I will go downstairs for some tea. Would you like some?”
Rachel shook her head. She thought she saw Katie and Noah exchange quick glances, but she might have been mistaken. “I’ll have a chocolate milk shake,” Noah said, and Rachel laughed.
“Of course it would be chocolate,” she said.
Katie left and Rachel was alone with Noah. Noah stroked her hand and regarded her with a solemn expression. He seemed anxious, and Rachel frowned. “Noah, are ya all right?”
He seemed to pull himself up, and then his smile for her held genuine warmth. “I am well, Rachel, but I was so afraid for you. Terrified that I would lose you.”
“And as you can see I am fine. The doctor said the surgery went well.”
“The Lord was watching over you. I’m relieved the doctor could operate before your appendix ruptured.” He released her hand and stood for a moment. He gazed down at her. “Rachel, it is you that worries me. Charlotte said that you didn’t want me to know…about how sick you were.”
Rachel looked away briefly. “That was true—at first. But when you came, I felt glad. I knew you would take
gut
care of me…get me to the hospital quickly.” She grabbed hold of his hand so that her fingers surrounded and squeezed his gently. “I didn’t want you to worry.” And she’d wanted to know for certain exactly what was wrong before letting him know. A crazy notion, she realized.
His expression softened as Noah sat and regarded her with warmth. “I’m glad to hear you say that.” He moved to the edge of the chair, took hold of both her hands. “Rachel Hostetler, I want to marry you. Please marry me so that we can be together forever.”
Stunned, heart beating wildly, Rachel could only stare at him. She loved Noah with all of her heart, but how could she say yes? How could she marry him if she couldn’t give him a family?
“Noah, I love you, but I don’t think I should marry you.” She didn’t see the hurt she’d expected; the only thing she saw was his fierce determination.
“Why not? You say you love me.”
“There are things about me you don’t know.”
“You are already married?” he said jokingly, but the words fell flat.
Rachel shook her head. This was no joking matter, and she realized then that despite his expression, Noah was hurting. She knew she had to tell him everything. She knew it would cause him pain once he realized the reason they couldn’t marry…but still, she had to tell him.
She blinked against tears. “A year ago this past winter, I was in a buggy accident, and I got seriously hurt. I spent weeks in the hospital.”
She studied his face but couldn’t read his expression. She hesitated until he nodded for her to go on. “It was a courting buggy…”
As if sensing her pain, Noah stroked her hands reassuringly. Her skin tingled under his touch.
“Noah, I was seriously injured…
here.
” She pulled a hand away to place it on the covers over her abdomen. She bit her lower lip and tears spilled from her eyes.
Noah hated seeing her tears. He could feel her pain as if it were his.
“You recovered,” Noah said, “and you will do so again.”
“Noah, I may not be able to have children,” she said quickly. “You are so good with them; it wouldn’t be fair to you…”
He smiled. “That’s it? You can’t marry me because it’s possible you can’t have a child?”
Rachel was stunned by his reaction. Noah looked almost relieved. But relieved by what?
“Rachel,” he said. “I love you with all of my heart. I truly believe that the Lord wants us to be together. It doesn’t matter if you can’t have a child. I love
you.
”
“But children—you will make a good father.”
“Then we will adopt. There are children who need homes. Together, with our love, we can provide a
gut
home.”