Nobilissima (44 page)

After the food had been taken away, the guests retired to couches arranged around the room, and a poet, a favorite of Honorius’s, recited poetry for what seemed to be a very long time. When he’d finished, I was joined by one of the dignitaries from North Africa, who wanted to tell me about the state of the grain harvest. We were talking quietly, when Honorius got up from his throne and came towards us.

“You!” he said, pointing at the visitor. “I can see you making advances to my sister.”

The poor man jumped to his feet. “I was doing no such thing, Your Imperial Highness,” he said. He looked terrified.

“I disagree,” said Honorius, more loudly this time. “See how close you sit and the look on your face. It’s disgusting that you cannot hide your lust for her.”

I saw Marcus motion to two guards who moved closer to the Emperor, while Marcus himself moved discreetly closer to where the accused dignitary sat. I stood up, feeling my cheeks burning.

“Honorius, you need to rest,” I said quietly. “Please go with Marcus and I’ll apologize to our visitor for the misunderstanding.”

“No,” he shouted. “You, sister, are a whore. No sooner is your husband dead but you are looking about for someone to take to your bed. Goth, Roman, North African. It doesn’t matter to you. You have no shame.”

I slapped him on the cheek, very hard, and heard the clatter of arms as his private guards came to attention. Touching the Emperor without his approval was forbidden. An act of violence, even from his own sister, was punishable by death. Everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breath.

“You have taken leave of your senses,” I said quietly. “You should retire. Your chamberlains are here and will help you to your room.”

His shoulders slumped and his face went slack. As though sleep walking, he followed his servants from the room. There was a long silence and then I apologized to everyone and asked our guests to continue to enjoy the evening.

“My brother has been under a great deal of pressure of late, as you can imagine,” I said, smiling brightly.

The entourage smiled back, picked up their wine goblets and the room buzzed with conversation again. I sat down next to my guest and told him I was sorry, but he was too distressed to be able to continue our conversation and quickly excused himself. My hands trembled and I felt sick when I recalled my brother’s words. He had accused me of duplicity in matters of State before, but had never attacked me personally. The fact that there was no truth in what he said was of little consolation. I knew the palace gossips would gobble up every word and spread it far and wide.

Marcus and Aurelia came to sit with me. It was better to stay and seem unconcerned than to leave and invite further speculation, so we managed a forced conversation until it was appropriate for me to depart. I walked to the doors on trembling legs, grateful for the warm, comforting hand of Aurelia’s in my own.

Back in my rooms, we found that Sylvia had already heard about the incident, proof, I thought bitterly, that rumors spread faster than spilled wine.

“My God, what was Honorius thinking?” said Aurelia, and she picked up her embroidery as she always did when she was upset. “He’s unpredictable but that was the worst I’ve ever seen him. He behaves towards you in a way that I don’t understand, and yet he is also so dependent on you.”

“I fear that he’s ill,” I replied. “He seems to have no control over himself at times.”

I bent to stroke Apollo, who wound his silky way around my ankles.

“We should put him out of his misery,” Sylvia muttered darkly, as she folded clothes and linens. “Going around, saying things like that. It’s disgusting.”

She picked up a silver hairbrush and began to brush my hair.

“You can’t take it to heart, Placidia,” continued Aurelia. “Everyone knows his accusations are false and no one will pay attention.”

I shook my head. People would listen and some would believe because they wanted to. Bad behavior on the part of their rulers was so much more interesting than dedication and hard work.

“Don’t pull my hair so, Sylvia,” I complained.

“Well, if you would sit still and not pitch about so much,” retorted Sylvia. Our bickering was interrupted by a loud exclamation from Aurelia, who had pricked a finger with her needle. She dropped a spool of bright red thread and I watched as it bounced off the couch and trailed a carmine line along the marble floor.

Chapter 39

Several nights later, I prepared for bed while Sylvia extinguished some of the lamps and closed the shutters. We had spent a pleasant evening with Aurelia, enjoying the peace and privacy of our own company away from Honorius and the courtiers.

Sylvia plumped a pillow.

“I’ll get you some hot milk and honey,” she said.

“Thank you Sylvia,” I murmured as I slid under the crimson silk coverlet and pulled it up close around me. I was already sleepy, tired from the long day I had spent working in my offices.

Sylvia paused when she reached the door, her head cocked to listen. I heard a sound too, of footsteps and voices outside.

“Aurelia probably forgot something,” Sylvia said. “I’ll go see what she needs.”

I lay back on the pillow and waited contentedly for Sylvia to come back. Suddenly, I heard shouting, then a scream and a crash as the door was pushed open violently. I jumped out of bed when Honorius strode into the room. Behind him, I saw that a guard was holding Sylvia by the arm. He slammed the door shut and I was alone in the room with the Emperor.

“You choose not to dine with me, sister?” he said, pointing a finger accusingly at me. “Our guests were offended by your absence.”

“And I am offended by your presence, Honorius, so please leave now.” I stepped back instinctively as he pressed forward.

“You will not slight me in public again,” he hissed.

“I was tired and had no energy to bear your insults this evening. Now please go. I’ll see you tomorrow to assist you in your tasks.”

“Your help isn’t needed any more. I can manage quite well on my own.”

“You made me Augusta, and you can’t take that away,” I said, struggling to keep my voice calm.

He stepped closer to me, his eyes searching my face then he reached out and stroked my hair. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

Disgusted, I tried to push him away. “Leave me alone.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he said and pushed me hard so that I fell back on the bed, clutching at the cover to stop myself from tumbling off. Then he bent over me, so close that I could smell the wine on his breath. His face was ugly, twisted with anger and hate.

“You have to understand who is master here,” he said softly and knelt on one of my legs to stop me from moving as I writhed away from him. Pain shot from my ankle to my thigh and I tried to scream but my voice seemed to stick in my throat. It was like having a nightmare, but I was awake and trembling with fear. He threw himself on top of me and I struggled to escape, beating his shoulders and back with my fists and trying to slide out from under him. He slapped my cheek and then ripped open my thin silk nightgown.

“I love you, Placidia,” he murmured.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I summoned all my strength to push him away from me. With a cry, he fell off the bed and I jumped to my feet and ran for the door, finding my voice at last and screaming loudly for help. The guard who had come with Honorius was no longer in sight, and neither was Sylvia.

From the end of the hallway, four of my guards came running, swords drawn. They ran past me into the room, and stopped suddenly when they saw the Emperor lying on the floor. He’d curled up into a ball and whimpered like a dog. One of the soldiers raised his sword and I saw the disgust on his face. He looked at me inquiringly and, for a fleeting moment, I considered the possibility of ridding myself of Honorius forever. If I commanded the soldier to do it; he would kill the Emperor, even knowing that it would cost him his own life.

“Thank you, tribune,” I said, gathering my composure. “I’ll deal with this. But why weren’t you on guard at the doors?”

“The Emperor told us to stand down. We didn’t think not to obey him. I’m truly sorry, Augusta.”

“Very well. Now go, wait outside and come at once if I call you. One of you must find Sylvia. The Emperor’s guard took her away. And you never leave your posts again, ever. Even on the command of the Emperor.”

The soldier saluted smartly, darting a final glance of regret at the prone figure on the floor.

Clasping my torn nightgown around me, I went back towards the bed, fighting the shivers that ran down my body. I pushed at Honorius with my foot, hoping that I was hurting him.

“Leave, Honorius, immediately. And never come near these rooms again. Get up, now, get up.”

Slowly he rolled over and stood. His face was red and streaked with tears and his clothes were disheveled. I walked to the window and kept my back to him.

“Leave, Honorius. My guards will let you pass. But go quickly.”

I heard rustling sounds as he smoothed out his robe. He sniffed a few times. When he spoke his voice was quiet, but his words were threatening.

“This isn’t over,” he said. “You’d be wise to submit to my requests. You and your precious children need my protection.”

I listened as he crossed the room and closed the doors behind him. As soon as he was gone, I felt my knees give way, and sank to the floor. Minutes later, the door opened and Aurelia hurried in. Her cheeks were flushed with anger and her lips pursed tightly together. Without a word, she lifted the torn nightgown from my body, and wrapped me in a fresh one. Sylvia stood behind her, crying.

“I’m sorry, Placidia,” she sobbed. “I tried to get away but that guard was so strong. I should’ve stayed to protect you.”

“Sylvia, it wasn’t your fault. Ask for some wine for us all, but have the servant bring it to the door. I don’t want anyone else in here just yet.”

Sylvia nodded and hurried out. Soon she returned with a tray bearing goblets of wine, and a bottle of lavender-scented lotion, which she massaged into my temples and wrists, and an arnica potion to apply to my cheeks. “That will keep the bruising down,” I said.

We drank the wine and prepared for bed. “We will both stay with you here until morning,” said Aurelia, in that tone that brooked no argument.

Sleep was hard to find. The lamps flickered, and the walls danced with towering black shadows. Outside, a night owl hooted mournfully. I felt like a child again, scared of the dark and the nighttime creatures that lurked outside. When I dozed, I dreamed of Ataulf and woke with tears on my cheeks when I thought of his arms around me and his gentle lips on my skin.

I rose at dawn to find Aurelia and Sylvia already awake.

“What we need is a hot bath,” I said, and we made our way quickly to the bathhouse.

Usually, the warm water soothed me but the realization that Honorius might be going mad created in me a growing sense of panic. Splashing my face vigorously with water, I tried to focus on a solution. I could go to the senators and convince them that Honorius had threatened me. My guards and Sylvia were witnesses. But the senators had weighty matters on their minds and a tiff between brother and sister, even one that reeked of perversion and immorality, was not their immediate concern. No one could convict Honorius of any crime, and no one would care to try. Emperors over the years had done far, far worse and stayed in power. There wasn’t any help to be had in that direction.

“I don’t know what to do, Aurelia,” I said. “Honorius is becoming more unstable by the day. I fear that he’s sick in his mind. I don’t know how to protect myself from him.”

“We’ll tell Marcus what happened and ask for his advice,” she said. “It’s possible that he can make Honorius see how dishonorable his behavior is.”

I felt my face grow hot with embarrassment. “I can’t bear to reveal what happened last night to anyone.”

“I think it’ll be revealed, Placidia,” said Aurelia ruefully. “Your guards are good men, but they saw what happened. There were servants in the halls who saw Honorius leaving your rooms. He wasn’t discreet about his intentions.”

Sylvia piped up, with anger in her voice. “It’s true what Aurelia says. Even this morning I overheard the servants talking while they brought in breakfast. No one ever says anything to me directly of course but you know how gossip spreads around here, like oil from a broken flask. It runs further and faster than you could imagine.”

“Very well. Let’s talk with Marcus today. I’ll avoid Honorius until we can decide on the best course of action. And, Sylvia, let it be known that I will not tolerate gossip in the palace.”

Sylvia rolled her eyes, knowing as well as I did that it was a futile mission.

Marcus reacted with fury when Aurelia and I told him of what had transpired. He paced around his office, slapping at his injured leg with his stick for several minutes. Finally, he took a seat and a gulp of his wine. “Not good,” he said. “Not good at all.”

“We know that, Marcus. That’s why we came to you,” said Aurelia.

“There’s no easy solution. I could talk to him but I think we all know it will achieve little. We could try to get medical evidence that he is not fit to rule but that will take some time and the cooperation of his doctors. For now, Placidia, you must increase the number of guards at your doors. Tell them that they mustn’t allow him to enter your rooms, even at the risk of their lives.”