Authors: Bec McMaster
Stroking Eden’s hair, she tried to crush her close, to somehow reassure her that everything was going to be all right. But it wasn’t. Her tears turned bitter. Lily was in a monster’s hands, Wade
was
a monster, and Adam was dying unless—
Unless—
She went so still she almost stopped breathing, Wade’s words an echo in her ears.
Something in the shift regenerates the body
....
“Eden,” she whispered, excitement a hot flutter in his chest. “Has he still got his amulet on?”
Eden shuddered, lifting her sticky face off Riley’s shoulder, her eyes glazed. “What?” she croaked. “Of course he does.”
Riley slid her hands to Eden’s wrist and squeezed. “You need to listen to me. Is there another warg cage somewhere?”
“Of course. We always—” Eden’s face suddenly drained of color. “No,” she whispered. “No, I can’t. He’ll never forgive me.”
“And if he’s dead?” she asked harshly. “Can you live with that?” She eased her grip as Eden’s face crumpled, feeling like a bitch. “Wade told me that something in the shift regenerates the body. If we can get McClain into a warg cage, and get the amulet off him, there might be a chance.” Her gaze lifted to the windows at the end of the corridor. A faint softening on the dark horizon bore the testament of time. “We don’t have long,” she said. “The sun’s going to come up soon. If you want to save his life, then we’ve only got an hour or so to do it.”
Eden stared at her helplessly. Red blotches made a mess of her face, and her brown hair hung in loose tangles.
Riley ground her teeth together and dragged Eden to her feet. “Come on,” she said. “Do you want to save him or not?”
The words jolted the healer. She drew a shaky breath and nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.
Opening the infirmary door, Riley found a pair of guards watching over the bed. Bloodied bandages filled the wastebasket, and the bowl of water beside the bed was crimson. Stepping closer, she saw that McClain’s chest had been sewn together with thick, dark thread, but he laid so still, his face so slack that for a moment, she thought he was dead already.
Eden ran a trembling hand over his shoulder. “Jory?” she asked softly.
“Ma’am?” One of the guards cleared his throat and stepped forward.
“I need the warg cage in the prison. Bring it here, and be quick.”
His gaze flickered to Riley’s as if questioning the order. She nodded sharply. “Bring it as fast as you can.”
The two men left the room. Eden sagged onto a chair beside the bed and slid her hand into McClain’s unresponsive one. “If he survives he’ll never forgive me."
“Yes, he will.”
“No.” A fresh surge of hot tears slid down Eden’s cheek, as she stared hopelessly at her brother. “You don’t understand how he feels about this. I can’t keep this secret. We can’t do this by ourselves.” Her lip quivered. “They’ll know, and then they’ll want him dead. We don’t allow wargs to live here at Absolution. If they realize what he’s been hiding all along—”
“Maybe,” Riley said. She knelt on one of the chairs, watching the still form. His heart was barely beating. “Maybe not. You've lived here all along, so you don’t see the way they look at him. They might forgive him.” She shrugged a shoulder helplessly. “Hell, I didn’t think I could ever forgive something like this, but...” A deep breath. “It’s been a long, life-changing week.”
“They won’t,” Eden whispered. “They won’t change.”
Silence as they waited, illuminated by the steady tick of the clock on the wall. Riley was half-tempted to tear it off and smash it by the time the men returned.
The knock at the door startled both of them. Riley crossed to it and eased it open, glancing down the hallway to where Wade raged. If she concentrated, she could still hear the rabid snarl.
Four men heaved a warg cage between them, faces straining. Riley stepped aside and gestured them in.
Four men.
Four witnesses.
No help for it.
Once Eden had the cage in place, she took a deep breath. “Put him in it,” she said.
The man she’d called Jory frowned, “Ma’am, what’s going on? What’s—”
“Just do it,” Riley snapped. “This is hard enough for her as it is.”
His hooded gaze cut toward her, his lips thinning. With a jerk of his head, he stepped toward the bed. “Yes, ma’am.”
McClain never moved as they eased him off the bed and into the cold bars of the cage. Riley shut the door with a loud clang and locked it. If this worked…
Please, let it work
....
Reaching through the bars, her fingers closed around the cold pewter charm. His skin was almost as cool to the touch, reminding her that they were running out of time. Even as she lifted the pewter from his skin, she saw a pulse thud heavily in the vein in his throat. Muscle crawled beneath her outstretched hand, like something obscene rippling under his skin.
“Mercy,” Jory whispered in a horrified voice.
Riley jerked her hand back through the bars, tearing the chain from his throat.
The response was instantaneous. McClain’s back arched off the floor, and his eyes shot wide as he screamed. “
No
!” A hollow, gut-wrenching sound of thwarted fury.
Riley leapt out of the way, just as Eden’s knees gave out. Jory caught her as she fell, his gaze locked on the cage and the tableau within.
“Hell,” one of the guards muttered in a sick tone. “He’s a fucking warg.”
McClain’s skin tore along his arms, fur ripping through with a vengeance. The change was faster, far more violent than Wade’s had been. His spine bowed, the scream in his throat thinning until it was almost a howl. His mouth elongated, teeth lengthening on a snarl, and as he turned his head she saw the desperation in his beautiful, still-human eyes.
Then it was gone. The monster tore itself free, shaking off its humanity as if it were a horrific butterfly emerging from its cocoon. His feet jerked, claws ripping through the skin, his jeans swelling as muscle bulged. They finally tore, and thick, tawny fur sprung through.
Finally, it was over. McClain lay on his side and panted, a vicious glitter in his eyes as he watched them. Riley didn’t trust that look an inch.
“Oh, God,” Eden whispered, taking a step toward him. “What have I done?”
Jory jerked her out of the way. “No,” he said. “You can’t go near him, not like this.”
Another guard had his hand on the gun at his hip, indecision warring with violence on his face. Riley caught his gaze. “Leave,” she suggested, her own hand dropping to her gun.
His lips worked, then he nodded, tearing his gaze away as he stormed from the room.
“Christ,” one of the other men whispered, sinking onto his haunches and staring in horrified fascination at the cage. “What happened? Did that warg get him today?”
“No,” Riley replied. She couldn’t let Wade take the blame for this. And maybe Absolution needed to see that a warg could live amongst them safely, without any of them even knowing. “He’s been like this for ten years.”
The guards all looked at her, a medley of horror, fear and confusion written across their faces.
“How?” Jory asked.
Riley held up the pewter charm. “The same way Wade controls himself. With this, neither of them have to turn.”
“Fuck this,” one of them whispered. He shook his head, sidling toward the door, unable to tear his gaze from McClain. “You can’t control this,” he said. “You just can’t.”
As he left, Riley’s heart sank. She met Eden’s gaze, her lips thinning as she turned to the growling beast in the cage. She’d saved his life – McClain would live.
But at what cost?
S
OFT
, SILVERY SUNLIGHT streamed through the window.
Luc lifted his head, his arms shaking as the last of the pain left him. He sucked in a sharp breath, bringing with it the scent of rage and blood, and the lingering remnants of woman.
A soft intake of breath caught his attention. Riley. Luc stiffened, clenching his eyes shut against the horror of the night. There was an old story told in some settlements about how a warg could never remember the change, how each morning brought with it the fear of
what had he done
. How he wasn’t responsible because the beast had made him do it.
Easier to think that. Easier to hope that when their fathers and brothers and sisters changed, they didn’t have to live with the horror of what they’d done. That, secretly, a part of them didn’t want to rape and slaughter.
But he remembered it
all
.
The rage. The fury. The need. Riley’s face as she jerked away from him, horror printed all over her features as she ran, unable to bear it. The sound of her harsh breathing as she slammed the door behind her and locked it.
His fist clenched, nails scraping over the cold floor. Her expression was like a mirror, showing him just what type of monster he was. She’d said she could handle it, but she hadn’t been able to. Pain choked him up and he bit it down sharply, along with everything else in his miserable life.
It didn’t matter.
Lily mattered, and that was all.
“Are you okay?” she whispered, though she hadn’t moved.
He nodded, opening his eyes and wiping the expression off his face. “I’m fine.”
Fabric shifted as she pushed to her feet. Luc risked a glance, saw the stain of exhaustion on her features. His gaze sharpened. “Did you sleep?”
She shook her head, sorting through the keys sluggishly. “I couldn’t.” She jammed a key into the lock, and the door swung open with an iron squeal. “Eden’s a mess, and—”
His lungs were a sudden vise as memory flooded back. “McClain?”
Riley wouldn’t look at him. “You got your wish. Your revenge.”
His mouth suddenly tasted like ash, and he stumbled as he stepped over the lip of the cage. “Mercy,” he said, through a voice rough with grief. “I didn’t—I never wanted—” Not truly.
Riley caught his arm, and Luc looked down. “I’m sorry,” she said. “He’s still alive. I didn’t mean to make you think he’d died.” She took a shuddering breath. “He
was
dying though. Then I remembered what you’d said about the shift regenerating the body.”
The breath went out of him. “You took the charm off him?”
She nodded bleakly. “We put him in the cage, and took the charm off.” A bitter smile tugged her lips. “It worked perfectly. One warg, not even a sign of the stitches in his chest.”
The smile faded, and her eyes suddenly swam with tears. Luc slid a gentle finger over her cheek, and she turned into his body with a sudden sob, pressing her face against his chest.
His arms closed over her back slowly, stroking the soft silk of her hair. Her tears didn’t come easy. It were as if she fought them, each racking sob tearing out of her in a way that made her whole body shake.
Hell
. He clutched her tight, running desperate hands over her shoulders. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “He couldn’t keep living the lie forever. Nobody can.”
He’d never bothered to try.
As if becoming aware of where she was, Riley’s shoulders tensed. He could feel it, running all the way through her, as if she suddenly fought not to push away.
Luc let her go. Stepped back. It was like a bullet to the chest.
Riley dragged a hand over her wet face, her nose running. “I know.” She sucked in a huge breath, trying to ground herself. “I just feel responsible. It was my decision, and I pushed Eden into it. He was dying.” Shadows swam through her eyes. “They’ve got him locked in the cage still.”
“No chance of parole,” Luc murmured. He knew the way of it. Something bitter soured his thoughts, but he fought it away. The world had changed in the last few days. Not even McClain deserved that. “Where do they think I am?”
She wiped her eyes, a hint of determination crossing her features. Trying to put herself back together. “In the cage. I told them I’d put you there.”
“Then they’re not likely to appreciate it if they find me out of it,” he said. “Especially with tensions running high this morning. We need to move.” He hesitated. “If you still intend to come?”
He didn’t use the word 'want.'
“I’m coming.” Her face firmed as she made her decision. “I haven’t forgotten about Lily.”
“It’s going to be dangerous.”
“I know.” Riley’s body stiffened, her voice softening. “I understand that now.”
After she’d seen him in the cage. Guilt and self-hatred flared in his gut. How the hell could she stand to be near him after what she’d seen?
“But I can’t leave her there,” Riley added. “And I gave you my word.”
Soft, quiet words. He wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of the previous night. Luc sucked in a sharp breath, looking around for his clothes. If he kept it all bottled up inside, then maybe it wouldn’t show on his face? The hope… shattered… that a woman could ever truly want a monster like him.
“Did you get what I asked for then?” His voice was cool. Distant. Inside, however, he was an inferno of emotion. This was why he’d walked away from Abbie. Not just because he was a danger to them, but because he’d never wanted to see on her face what he could see on Riley’s.
“I got it. Packs are loaded in the jeep. We’ll have to move quickly. The settlement’s running high with tension, and nobody seems to know what to do, but that won’t last long. I give us an hour to get out of here.”
Luc turned away as he jerked his jeans on. There was a faint tremble in his hands. This was all the harsher because, for once, he’d actually started to believe that he could have a normal life.
No point dreaming of something he could never have. His only focus right now was Lily. And making sure that he got her back safely.
“Fine,” he said sharply. “Just let me get dressed and we’ll get going.”
T
HE HOT SUN
pounded down on her skin as the jeep roared through the desert.
Riley drew her knees up to her chest as Wade drove, watching sightlessly as the scenery raced past. She was so tired her eyes burned, but she knew she couldn’t sleep. Every so often, she glanced over her shoulder, checking for signs of pursuit.
Getting out of Absolution had been easier than getting in ever would be. Nobody had expected someone to steal a jeep and ride off with it. They’d idled through the streets to the main gates, a hat drawn down over Wade’s face. When the guard at the gate asked for their identity cards, Wade had punched him in the face and knocked him out cold. None of the guards on the top of the gate had seen, as the jeep was parked underneath. Riley had winched the gate open and they’d driven through, Wade giving the guards on the top of the gatehouse a loose wave.
Thirty seconds later, they’d opened fire, no doubt finding the prone form of their fallen comrade.
If McClain were in charge, that breach would never have happened, but the town was abuzz with disorder. Almost everybody had been called to meet in the town square.
She didn’t like leaving McClain behind to deal with the consequences of her actions, but she didn’t have a choice. Lily needed her more than McClain did, though the last she’d heard, he was still in the cage.
Wade looked over at her as he steered the jeep through a gulch in the desert. He’d been quiet since they left, as if something were bothering him. Or, if she were truthful, she knew precisely what was bothering him.
She just didn’t have the guts to confront it.
“It’s not your fault,” he said, referring to McClain.
“I know.” Hollow words.
Another minute of silence stretched out, the wind catching her hat. Riley slapped a hand to it, tugging it back into place so the broad brim sheltered her skin. Her hair was tucked up beneath it, and she wore men’s clothes, laced tight enough to fool anyone as to her gender. The backseat looked like an arsenal.
“I’m just trying to work out where this sense of duty comes from, why you feel like you need to take all of the blame? To shoulder burdens that aren’t your own,” he finally said, hands tight on the steering wheel. “You didn’t have to come.”
Riley nibbled on the hem of her sleeve, thinking about his question. It was the way her father had raised her. Abel Kincaid had been the leader of his community, and that meant responsibility, rather than entitlement. You did what needed to be done. Even if that meant going out alone to hunt a warg that had slaughtered a nearby homestead, when you knew your hands were beginning to shake, and you could barely lift the shotgun to your shoulder.
Sometimes, she wished her father hadn’t shouldered his responsibility that one time, but to do that would have made him less of the man he was.
Riley shook off the melancholy thoughts of her father. Wade was speaking about the here and now. About her. “Would you have come? If that was my daughter out there?”
Long, long silence. “Yes,” he finally said. He didn’t take his eyes off the faint track in front of them. “But only for you.”
Her breath caught. Whatever lay between them – this insane attraction, this invisible bond, this tension – she wasn’t the only one who felt it.
“I’m not so sure about that.” She leaned back against the side of the door, watching the stern line of his profile. Faint, tired lines creased at the corners of his eyes, his knuckles flexing and unclenching on the steering wheel. Small signs of a father’s fear, despite the cool manner he spoke with. “Would you leave a little girl – or boy – in Cane’s hands? Even if you didn’t know them?”
The wind ruffled his hair, stirring the black cambric of his shirt. “No.”
“You don’t want to care, do you? But you do. And I don’t think you’re asking me the question you want to.”
It was a dare. She’d felt the distance between them all morning. Riley shifted uneasily. Not even she was brave enough to bring up the night before, and her feelings about it. She didn’t even know what she
did
feel.
Horror. Fear. An odd mixture of pain and grief. Wade was a monster, and she couldn’t deny that. He would never be anything else. The only thing that let him cling to his semblance of humanity was the charm around his throat.
There was no cure for a warg. Only a bullet.
The thought hurt. She’d known from the start what he was, but somehow something had changed, and she’d started looking at him as a man.
If they ever had a life together, what type of life would it be? No settlement would take them in, unless they kept his secret, and she saw how that had turned out for McClain. Besides, Wade’s tone indicated he wouldn’t live that way. He couldn’t hide what he was. Not without burying himself in bitterness.
Wade stared ahead. “You thirsty?”
Riley felt a surge of both disappointment and relief. He hadn’t taken up her dare, and he wouldn’t. The question would go unsaid. She wouldn’t have to answer something she didn’t know if she could answer. Yet the tension between them remained.
“No,” she replied quietly. “I’m not.”
The minutes ticked by. Wade steered the jeep through a crossroads with grim determination, barely even glancing down the other road.
“Do you know where he’s going?” she asked.
“Did a lot of scouting when I first got here,” he replied, his knuckles tightening on the wheel as they hit a pothole. “They’ll need water and shelter, and they’re running with reivers, which limits their options. The old Copperplate Mine’s the only thing out this way that’s big enough to support them.” His lashes lowered. “Besides, I can see the tire marks from Colton’s jeep. I know where he’s going.”
Impulsively, she slid her hand over his thigh. Hard muscle clenched beneath the dark denim. “We’ll get her back, you know.”
He nodded sharply, as if unable to speak.
The day stretched out, shadows lengthening. Wade drove like a man possessed, handling the jeep with one hand, his mirrored shades hiding any sign of emotion. His jaw was locked tight, knuckles white around the wheel; however, Riley didn’t need to see his eyes to know what he was thinking.
“You used to be a bounty hunter out on the Rim,” she murmured, to distract him. “You ever cross the Great Divide, head east? My father said they have cities out there, huge walled cities, not like the slaver trading towns down south, along the New Mérida border.”
Wade glanced sideways. “Only once,” he admitted. “I was hunting a pack of shadow cats, and they took me across the Divide.” He shook his head. “It’s a different world out there. This side of the Divide, everyone’s scattered. Small settling towns, the occasional homestead… Timber’s scarce in the Wastelands, but across the Divide you can see whole forests of bleached, calcified trees. Ghost Forests, they call them, from when the meteor first hit. And there's... people there too. They call them mutos, those who were exposed to all manner of shit when the meteor struck.”
“And the cities?”
“Didn’t get that far. The Eastern Confederacy’s got roaming packs of enforcers running all the way along its state lines. They say they’re building a wall too. Like that ancient wall in the Orient that I read about once. Only this one’s to keep us out. The rabble, the reivers, and the revenants.”
“They don’t have revenants and wargs in the Confederacy?” she asked curiously. This far into the Wastelands, it wasn’t often that news came from the east – or that anyone traveled for more than a hundred miles in their whole life. An envious stirring irritated her.
“No. They hunt ‘em down, burn ‘em out. The military controls the whole Confederacy, and when they’re not fighting down along the New Mérida border, they send their troops out on scalping missions for warg packs, or revenants.” Wade’s lips twitched in a smile. “Why? You itching to leave the settlement?”
“No. I’m just… curious. I’ve never seen anything other than the Wastelands. I can’t even imagine what a city would look like.”
“Big,” he said with a shrug. “Huge buildings, like the ones that brushed the skies before the meteor. Had an old man down in Lexton tell me most of them folk live in the cities, where it’s safer. Call each other ‘citizen’ and they’re only allowed to wear the confederacy colors of white and green. Anyone who disobeys the law is executed.”
“Sounds kind of like what happens out here,” she mused.
“Yeah, only without the cameras watching your every move.”
She couldn’t fathom the idea. Peg had once owned a camera, an old family heirloom that took hours to develop each photo, though she'd stopped taking them once she ran out of paper for it. Imagine having cameras everywhere, to take photographs of everyone who passed?
“We’ve got busybodies instead,” she replied dryly. “Grateful to repeat every word they’ve heard, or anything they’ve seen. Whether it's true or not....” She shrugged. "Well, that's another story."
The jeep hit a bump, and Wade smoothed it out instantaneously. “Wouldn’t know. You get that a lot?”
“I’m an unmarried woman,” she said. “I have more people poking into my life than anyone else.”
A long moment of silence stretched out. Riley surveyed the barren plains, but there was no sign of movement out there. Only the hoodoos jutting in the distance.
“And no doubt your pick of men.” Soft words. He didn’t look at her, but she could tell that he was focused on her.
“I could have had a harem,” she replied. “That would have made the goodwives choke on their tea.”
“No husband though.”
“Never met anyone whose ideas meshed with mine.” A lot whose ideas involved her in the house, cooking dinner while the men tended the settlement.
A hard deal for a woman who’d been raised to follow in her daddy’s footsteps. “Not that I’m against marriage or children,” she added quickly.
Another glance that scoured her like fire. Riley pretended she hadn’t noticed. “How long do you think it will take to get to the mine?”
“On these roads?” Wade cursed under his breath. “Probably noon tomorrow, if we’re lucky.”
His knuckles went white on the wheel again.
O
range flame crackled
in the night, licking at the small twigs Riley fed into the fire. They’d come across a fallen tree – almost too good an opportunity to pass up out here – and decided to make camp for the night. Travelling in the dark was too dangerous, and although Wade was wound tighter than a child’s top, even he admitted a few hours’ rest would help him gain back his strength.
Turning warg took a lot out of a man, and he hadn’t been able to hunt. The beast inside him was restless still, driven to the edge by the threat to his daughter.
“Sounds like it’s more human than you realize,” she’d muttered, which had earned her a sharp look.
“Maybe I’m not the one doubting,” he shot back before striding out into the night to scout for danger, leaving her to stare after him.
Wade had been gone for over an hour. Riley stabbed a stick into the hot coals in short, angry movements. Just what had he meant by those words?
A twig snapped, and her head jerked up. Slowly, Wade came into focus, with an armful of smaller branches and brush – whitethorn by the look of it, and scrub oak. This close to the mountains, the trees began to appear, and even grow larger, with the occasional cottonwood grove. Out in the plains, the only thing one came across was agave, prickly pear, and cactus.
Wade dumped his armful by the fire, flame flickering over the silvery shine in his eyes. He wasn’t even attempting to hide the feral cast to his features. Not fully human tonight. His cheekbones looked like they’d been carved with a hatchet, and veins distended along the back of his hands a forearms.
As if aware of her scrutiny, he shot her a look, a challenge.
Not human. Never will be. So what are you going to do about it?
Riley scowled back and tipped her chin up.
Well, I’m not running
.
Even though I’ve seen you at your beastly worst
.
His gaze dropped away, and he rubbed his fist absently.
Coward
.
“Sit,” she said. “You’re wearing me out with all that pacing.”
He’d caught a Gila monster earlier, and Riley had carefully roasted it over the open flames. The meat sizzled, and she reached out and cut a chunk off, nearly burning her fingers. The first taste of it melted in her mouth. “Dinner’s ready.”
Wade sank onto a boulder on the other side of the fire – about as far away from her as he could get – and used his own knife to carve off a generous hunk of meat. Riley handed him the pack of flatbread she’d acquired at Absolution, and they ate in silence, using the bread as both plate and a wrap for the meat.
“What time do you think we’ll get moving?” she asked.
“Just before dawn. If we blow a tire or two, then we’ll never make it in time,” he replied, licking his fingers. Frustration darted across his face. He wanted to push on; so did she, but common sense had won out. The waiting was almost agonizing. Just ratcheting the tension higher.
Wade picked up a chunk of cottonwood and withdrew his knife. He started scraping the bark off the thick branch, his hands moving swiftly. Riley picked up her stick again and started drawing circles in the dirt at her feet.
Distraction.
“You couldn’t move quicker in your other form?” she asked quietly.
“I could, but I wouldn’t. I’m not in control when I’m in warg form.” Those silvery eyes raked over her, as if to show her precisely how much the warg shone through tonight. “Most likely, I’d be distracted by the hunt. Or… other desires.”
Her
.
Riley stilled, the end of the stick trailing in the dirt.
“You look surprised.” His words were another challenge. “Don’t forget I’m a monster, Riley.”
Her breath caught. “That’s not fair.”
Wade looked at her, cold light shining in those blue eyes. Holding himself back. “Isn’t it? I remember the look on your face.” His tone softened, and he looked down at his hands, the knife making a curl of wood. It dropped to the ground. “I remember how you ran from the room. Do you think I wanted you to see me like that?”