Authors: Sarah Brocious
Chapter 8 Bad Feelings
Nolan awoke with a start. His heart was crashing against his chest and a cold sweat ran down the back of his neck. He sat up straight bracing against the headboard. He breathed in and out as if he had just run a long-distance, and swallowed over and over trying to calm the panic that was overcoming him. He lifted a trembling hand to his neck.
Silver eyes went immediately to the clock. It was late and he had no idea what had awoken him. He hadn't been dreaming and his room was silent and still. He ran a hand down his bare chest to cover his heart, feeling the pounding there. “What the hell,” he whispered a little breathlessly.
His next action was to reach for his cell phone. No missed calls and no texts. He saw that as a good sign and gave a sigh of relief…and again rubbed the back of his neck.
He knew the instant anything was wrong Thanatos would contact him. He'd contact him or risk the wrath that Nolan would bring upon him.
He considered calling his friend just to be sure and this consideration turned into determination since now all he could think about was Raina. He hit speed dial and frowned when the call went to voicemail.
"Dammit Thanatos did you let your battery die again? I just woke up and had this feeling and I needed to check on her. Call me when you get this." He tossed the cell back on the nightstand and flopped back down onto the pillows.
He knew he should try to go back to sleep so he closed his eyes but sleep would not come and the racing of his heart would not stop. He wiped his brow free of sweat and sat back up. His eyes moved to the glass double doors that lead out onto a balcony right outside his room. The cool night air beckoned him. He found himself standing out by the railing in nothing but his pajama bottoms. It didn't matter his skin felt like it was on fire. The breeze hitting the back of his neck made him tremble with the chill but his body cooled considerably.
A full moon up above shown eerily down on him and he couldn't help his mind wandering to all the strangeness that happens on a full moon night. He was bothered that his mind went that way.
"I have one frightening wake-up and suddenly I'm superstitious," he chuckled to himself. But he couldn't fight that feeling. Something was going on… whether it was with Raina or something else. Something wasn't right.
He heard a sound behind him and turned to see Michael coming out from his room also. He gave him an embarrassed smile. He felt silly to be caught like this. He shrugged his shoulders.
Michael joined him at the balcony leaning is hip against the rail and crossing his arms. His robe was pulled closely together against the chill. It was Florida but in these months the night was not warm and welcoming.
"Bad dream?"
Nolan laughed shortly at this. If only it had been just a bad dream. He shook his head. "I'm just out of sorts, Michael. I have this premonition. Like there's something happening that I should know of but I'm completely in the dark."
"You think it's Raina?"
Shrugging his broad shoulders, Nolan frowned. "If it were her Thanatos would've called me." His silver eyes gleamed as they looked straight up into the moon. “But she was my first thought as I woke. I…I just can’t shake it. I simply have to trust that my friend would contact me right away.”
Michael gave a nod. "Not to upset you but, what if he can't call you?"
"Don't do that to me Michael," Nolan groaned. "As if I don't worry enough about that girl." He shivered.
Michael held up his hands. "I'm sure you're right. It was just a thought." His hazel eyes looked up at the moon as well. “I know what you are feeling, Nolan. I get the same way over my wife.”
Nolan crossed his arms over his chest, now feeling the cold. "I hate been away from her. The not knowing drives me nuts. Was a time when I wouldn’t let that girl out of my sight and now that I know that I didn't have to let her out of my sight… it just makes things worse. Now I can't go to her. I can't leave this place until Our Sovereignty has what they want." He looked to Michael. "How long do you suppose it'll be? How much more can they want from us? Do you even think they’re going to allow us to go back to what we lived before this?" Nolan did not look convinced.
Michael sighed. “I am as much in the dark as you are my friend.”
Nolan shook his head. He purposely lowered his voice, not wanting to be overheard. He felt safe that their words would not heard but he still wanted to be careful. He thought about taking Michael to the soundproofed room that Joseph had revealed to him. He was scared that his emotions were so high he really wasn't thinking straight.
“You okay, Nolan?”
“No,” he whispered. "I don't even want to think about what happens after this. That is, if there is an “after this”. Will they even let us go now?"
Michael looked thoughtful. "I think it depends on which of Our Sovereignty you ask." He met Nolan with the meaningful stare. "I mean, two of them would say good job, well done, your job here's complete. The other? I don't know, and I don't trust him. I don’t trust him a bit." His voice had lowered to barely a whisper. The risk he ran a being caught saying such things… it was dangerous. But he only spoke aloud the thoughts Nolan was having.
Nolan grabbed Michael’s arm roughly and pulled him through the double doors into the room. He held a finger to his lips to stop Michael from saying anything further. He went straight to his desk and pulled out a notepad. He held the pen to Michael after scribbling on the paper.
Michael looked down at the words.
Write his name
. He looked to Nolan and gave a nod and then he fixed his eyes back on the piece of paper. He wrote with a sure strong hand, underlining the name on the paper.
Nolan took it back and grunted with approval. Written on the notepad was the name that had entered his own mind
Emmanuel
.
He wrote underneath the name.
You think he is turned?
Michael gave a solemn nod when he read the words.
"What do we do?" Nolan asked.
"We can do nothing, my friend," Michael whispered.
Nolan shook his head ripping the piece of paper into shreds. "I feel Titus has our best interests at heart and I believe Isaac to be fair."
Michael reached out a hand and grabbed his shoulder. "Don't say anymore." Suddenly Michael felt anxious about the words being spoken aloud.
Nolan bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. They would figure something out. Maybe they wouldn't have to worry at all and Isaac and Titus would just allow them to leave after the tests were through.
His mind wandered to the conversation that he had had with Emmanuel just that morning. It had been after training and he had sought out Nolan. He commended Nolan on a job well done for that day and then made a statement that had chilled Nolan.
"Maybe it's time to take it to the next level? Your little catalyst would be very valuable, wouldn't she? I sure hope she's being protected. We wouldn't want anything to happen to her before we can truly measure her worth."
Nolan shivered now. "I've never truly been scared," he said softly to Michael. "But not scared for myself, Michael. I'm scared for her."
Michael nodded. "I feel the same for my wife." His voice lowered even further. "I must warn you though, Nolan, and I say this with all humility. Your gift… it exceeds even my own. You are special. And just from the stories I've heard, you are made even more special because of her. It's going to happen. They are going to require that she be here at some point. You have to prepare yourself for that."
Nolan shook his head. "She will come willingly. So I don't worry about her being harmed in the process of getting here. What I worry about is once she's here they aren’t going to want to let her go. I don't want this for her, Michael." He didn't care if statement was overheard. This would be no secret.
Nolan had always been the good guy always the straight laced rule follower. For Raina, he would break all the rules. That side of him rather scared him. He hoped that his zealousness would not be an issue when it came to her safety.
It was at that moment that Nolan's phone went off and he practically crashed past Michael to get to it.
Nolan immediately growled, "I told you to have your phone on at all…"
"Nolan she's gone!”
All Nolan could manage was a strangled groan.
“I don't know where she is! She's gone! I can't feel her I can't sense her I don't know where she is!"
Thanatos panicked voice had Nolan sinking down to his knees. Dread and overwhelming misery filled his chest. "What?" The word barely passed his throat. His muscles tense and he had to keep himself from crushing the phone in his hand.
"I came home. I looked everywhere for her. Turk was outside barking like a maniac and I can't find her!" There were tears in Thanatos voice and he was beside himself. "I'm her protector. I should feel her. I should sense her. I should be able to track her. But there's nothing, Nolan!"
Nolan fought to draw oxygen into his lungs. "She has to be alive, Thanatos." His voice was deep and dark. "If she's not then you're as good as dead."
Thanatos was silent on the other end. He had never heard such malice in Nolan's voice but he understood where it came from. His own world was crashing down around him and he could only imagine what Nolan was feeling now. "She's still alive, Nolan. You and I would both feel if she were gone. For real gone.”
Nolan immediately thought of his panic attack and just knew it had to be at that moment. "I felt when it happened," he murmured. "It just happened." He felt as if his throat was closing in on him and he couldn't breathe. "Didn't you feel it?"
"I'm not as connected to her as you are," Thanatos sighed. "And I am her damn protector. Did we do it right? Did you truly give up your right to be her protector?" Thanatos knew it was a silly statement. He had felt the moment that that right has been given to him. He knew he was Raina’s protector. "The bond you two have; there is no comparison." Thanatos pulled in a sharp breath. "I'm sorry I can't be better for her. Not like you were. I am as good as dead. I think someone has taken her. It was someone who knew how to get to her without alerting me. You know if she screamed or felt terror I would've sensed it and I could track her feelings now. But it's silent."
Nolan swallowed hard and tried to collect his emotions.
“I’m sorry, Nolan. God I’m a failure,” Thanatos groaned. “You are right…you’re right,” he murmured.
Nolan played back in his head the words that he just spoken to Thanatos. Instantly he regretted them.
“I’m as good as dead,” Thanatos sighed into the phone.
“You are not as good as dead! I'm sorry,” Nolan argued. He ran a hand wearily over his face. "I didn't mean it, Thanatos. I just…" His voice broke a little.
"I know, Thanatos whispered. “I'm feeling it to. "We have to figure out what's going on. This was not a coincidence."
"No it's not. It's one of our own kind. My first thought is Richard, but is that too obvious? Maybe the obvious is the point." Nolan got back up off his knees. He turned to Michael who was standing there mouth open in shock. He had been able to hear the whole conversation. "I'm coming home."
Michael shook his head. "Nolan, to do that is automatically sentencing yourself to punishment. We are here by order of Our Sovereignty. You cannot disobey and run… even for Raina."
"They can punish me then," Nolan's voice was laced with steel.
"Nolan be smart," Thanatos said from the other end. "We don't know what we’re dealing with yet. For you to come running is ridiculous. She's not here! I've looked everywhere. I think we just have to wait for the next step for the next… order."
Nolan swallowed against the argument. Both made sense and he had to calm his emotions. "You say you came home Thanatos. Why were you away from her?"
Thanatos drew in a deep breath. "Raina was spending the evening with Emily and Bradley." He cleared his throat.
“And?” Nolan’s voice went low in suspicion
"I was on a date." Thanatos braced himself for Nolan's roar and he was not disappointed.
"You are lucky that such a great distance separates us, my friend," he growled. "You better pray that I don't get my ass on a plane and fly out just to beat the…"
"Nolan, calm down," Michael whispered. "We don't need any attention drawn to this. I'm sure your friend protected her as well as he could."
"Nolan, she insisted I go. I know I should have stayed with her I know I shouldn’t have given into the temptation, but I left her safely at Emily and Bradley’s. I was late getting back to pick her up and I will admit that's my fault. I lost track of time. And then my phone died. Raina being Raina decided to take matters into her own hands. She had Bradley take her home. I swear to you I did not mean for this to happen and if I could, I'd probably kill myself."