Authors: Sarah Brocious
“Nice,” Thantos laughed. He rescued the glass. “I’m getting you a refill and you are going to allow Nolan to calm down. You have to admit that is a lot for an immortal’s system!”
She bowed her head. “I wanted to tell him, but Joseph is so much better at those kind of things!”
Thanatos clipped her under her chin. “It’s okay beautiful. He’s not mad at you….he’s just taking it all in!” He roughed her hair and then went for her refill.
Soon all of her girls surrounded her needing to know what was going on. Raina didn’t give them much and kept anxiously glancing toward the door.
Poor Bradley seemed lost. He had always been perceptive and not knowing what was going on was driving him crazy.
“How does an evening go from top of the memory pile to the dump?” She sipped the wine Thanatos had returned to her. He refilled a short time later.
Raina was feeling quite toasted by the time Nolan reappeared.
He didn’t say a word to the group, just pulled her from the booth gently and led her to the floor.
He pulled her into his chest, and buried his face against her neck. His lips touched her ear causing crazy tremors through her system…even through the alcohol haze.
“Educate me Aelan. What song is this?”
Raina swallowed hard, and snuggled into his chest. He was cold from the outside but his immortal body hadn’t felt a thing. She drew in a breath, and felt his arms around her squeeze.
“What song is this?” he repeated. His lips tickled her ear and he smiled when he felt her shiver. He was trying to gentle her.
“It’s your love…by Tim McGraw,” she said softly.
“Hmm,” he sighed. “It’s kind of perfect.”
She drew in an unsteady breath. “Are you going to yell at me now?”
He lifted his face and shook his head. He kissed her forehead tenderly. “No yelling my love.”
She wiped tears onto his white shirt. Relief flowed through her. She let McGraw’s voice wash over her. She wanted to crawl up into Nolan’s skin.
I’m sorry baby,” he whispered. He buried his face against her hair. He gently swayed with her. His fingers ran up her spine. “Joseph explained your plan. I jumped the gun. Baby I’m sorry. I was being a bastard,” he growled.
She stared up at him. She hoped he saw that there was no loss of love for him because of his actions.
“I’m meeting tomorrow with Joseph and Jonathan. Joseph already spoke to Our Sovereignty. They wouldn’t be happy to lose me, but it is my choice.” He gathered her closer.
“Nolan, if you…”
“Hush baby,” he crooned. “Tonight I am going to have a good time with you and my friends! No worries, remember? Tomorrow I will face reality!” He tilted her chin and gave her lips a gentle grazing. “Is that okay with you?” He pulled her as close as was appropriate. “Tim McGraws not too shabby is he? You don’t mind dancing with me do you?”
Raina shook her head dumbly and smiled.
Nolan grinned and kissed her until he had her purring and their friends catcalling from the table. “Who should I thank for getting you drunk? Thanatos I suppose?”
She blushed. “I’m not a light weight! I can still go another few rounds with you. She tugged at the front of his shirt.
“Counting on that,” he teased. His eyes warmed. “I’m counting on you for a lot Aelan.” He pulled her gently into his firm hold.
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She was in her room, waiting for Nolan to return. She knew what the meeting was all about. Why Nolan had been gone for hours. She was anxious to hear what his reaction was.
Raina felt his presence before he even spoke a word. She wondered if what she felt now was even a fraction of what he might feel when she was around. His breath was warm against her neck and his hands braced her shoulders from behind. He was so gentle. She shivered and stared unseeingly out of the window. Her heart hitched when he pressed a soft kiss on the side of her neck.
"Hello Aelan," Nolan whispered in that beautiful voice of his.
She smiled at the endearment and tugged at his hands on her shoulders so that she could wrap his arms around her. "Is it really possible?"
Nolan drew in a deep breath and hugged her tighter. "I don't know. It could be possible. It could be absolutely stupid.” He shook his head. “A Healer taking hundred years of dying?”
“The curse itself defies possible,” she whispered.
He nodded, letting out a sigh. “I don't know that this option has ever really come up. Not many want to go back to what they were. It hasn't been tested so all I know is it could go off without a hitch or go terribly wrong."
She leaned back against him. "You want this," she said softly. "I know you want this." She swallowed back the tears that wanted to invade her voice. "You want to be mortal again."
He buried his face deep into her hair and drew in her scent. He was quiet for a moment. "I want to be mortal with you," he acquiesced. "I've never wanted anything more in my life. I want to be with you for as long as I'm allowed. But as I am saying this I’m also thinking that this could end horribly. The chances of me surviving are unknown."
Raina bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She measured her words. "I couldn't stand losing you Nolan… I couldn't." She felt a tear slip out. She couldn't help it. "But I would never deny you the chance to get back what you once had! I know you're going to try regardless of what it might cost you. And I want it to work. "
He turned her gently in his arms and tipped her face up. He lovingly studied her. "Why are you crying?"
She forced a smile. "You lost so much. I wish you could have had this choice then. You could've had your family and your life. The life you were supposed to live."
He brushed the sides of her face with his thumbs. "What I have now is so much better than what I had then. I wouldn't trade all the misery I had to go through. All of that misery led me to you.”
She closed her eyes.
“So yes, at the chance that I can live a true mortal life with you, I'm going to do what I need to do no matter what it costs me. I've lived a full life and now that I have you I'm sick of thinking about continuing on that life after you're gone. If my life ends now than I will die a happy man. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true."
She laughed at this and opened her eyes to his. Her tummy filled with butterflies. Warmth ran over her body as the silvers took her in.
He smiled at her. "You turn me into a cheesy romantic."
Raina gripped the front of his shirt and tugged him closer. Again she closed her eyes finding the silver gaze too overwhelming. "Life with you sounds wonderful, but losing you, I couldn't take it. I think it would be the end me too."
He pressed his forehead tenderly against hers. "I have to take this chance."
"I won't stand by and watch you die."
He shook his head. "I would never allow you to witness that. I will protect you from that Raina."
"How?" She whispered "It's not like I would let you go through this by yourself."
"I can't have you there. Do you understand me Raina?" He tilted her face back so that he could look in her eyes. "Look at me!” He waited for her to obey him and crinkled his brow in determination. “I will protect you."
"I won't let you do it if I'm not there."
"I knew that would be the way you felt. But you won't be there Raina." He brushed his nose gently against hers. "You'll just have to trust me."
"How are you expecting to keep me away?" She didn't look very convinced at his words.
He saw the stubborn glint in her eye and sighed. He dipped down and kissed her softly, sweetly. He hoped that the kiss would distract from the words he was about to say. He pulled just a whisper away. He could see the flush in her cheeks and it made him smile. "I would make you forget me."
Raina jerked away as if she'd been slapped. Her blue eyes sparked with fear and anger. She felt words stumbling out of her mouth before she even made a sound. Her brain was forming them too quickly. "I – I – I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
Nolan swallowed hard. "It's not what it sounds like Raina."
She shook her head unable to speak once more.
His silvers gentled with compassion. "Please listen to me my love." He took a hold of one of her trembling hands and lifted it to his lips.
"I don't understand," her voice cracked.
"Do you remember when I came to you after your fainting spell? That first time that you saw me after the dream? I told you I could keep this like a dream or I could make it real." He squeezed her fingers. "Do you remember?"
Raina backed up a step. "Of course I remember." She shook her head. "But I don't like the sound of this," she murmured weakly
"You do trust me." He said this as a statement.
"Please don't do anything Nolan. I want to talk about this please." She felt a bit of panic coming over her.
He pulled her back into his arms and rested her head against his chest. "Do you think this is a spur of the moment idea Aelan?"
She whispered against the front of his shirt. "You can't make me."
"I can."
She shivered.
He rested his chin on top of her head. “Calm down Raina…settle down,” he murmured. He ran his fingers soothingly up and down her spine. He knew his touch comforted and he smiled when she relaxed heavily against his body.
“Nolan?”
“Hmmm?” He kissed her hair.
“I do trust you,” she whispered against his shirt.
He sighed with relief.
“But I am still scared.” She felt her heart beat slowing and picking up. Slow as he breathed, and then fast when she focused on his hands on her.
"Come here." He moved her gently to the chair that sat beside her bed lowering his body first and then pulling her down so that she was cradled in his lap.
She nestled in, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. She swallowed hard against the panic. "I'm listening," she sighed but not very enthusiastically.
"If I allowed things to stay as they are now and something goes wrong, you will be devastated I can’t go through with this knowing I would've been the cause of that! If I let you forget. If I shield and protect you… you will not feel that pain. If I survive, then I can…"
"You can do nothing! You couldn't bring my memories back! You would be mortal and I would lose all that I had with you up until now. That's not fair Nolan!” She leaned back so that she could look up at him.
He gave her half a smile. "But think of how much fun it would be for me to make you fall in love with me again." That half a smile grew into his full-blown gorgeous smile and the silvers darkened.
"Don't tease me," she growled.
He growled back. "I'm being completely serious." His fingers brushed away the tears on her cheeks. "You can't have this both ways you can't keep the memories without the pain and I won't give you that pain."
Raina blinked. "Would I forget Thanatos and my immortal friends? Melinda?"
He shook his head. "You will not forget Melinda. Your memories leading up to meeting her and getting your job will be vague. You'll have holes." His fingers sifted gently through her hair both to calm her but also he just needed to touch her. "And you may still have moments when you remember us, but it will be more like a dream." He smiled at the word dream. "Dreams are quite powerful things."
Raina could not help her smile. "They certainly are."
He kissed her forehead.
“May I say something without you getting mad at me?” She tried adjusting her stance in his arms, but his arms were too tight around her. “May I sit up please? I want to see you face to face.”
He loosened his grip, and watched her wiggle into place. “Behave Aelan,” he growled, when she straddled his lap.
She rolled her eyes. “No.”
“No?”
She shook her head.
He grinned. “My stubborn girl.”
“Stubborn? I’m stubborn?”
He squeezed her waist. “Should I list all the times? For starters…”
Raina silenced him with a gentle kiss. Well, silenced all but the growl of pleasure in the back of his throat. The reaction pleased her, so she prolonged the kiss longer than she had planned.
The silver eyes were dark and smoky when she finally pulled away.
She tenderly ran her fingers down his jaw. “Now may I say what I wanted to say?”
He cleared his throat.
“I would rather suffer the agony than lose the memories.”
His muscles tensed.
“It’s the truth Nolan.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Don’t take what means most to me.” She nuzzled her face into his neck, and set a soft kiss against his skin. She felt his indrawn breath. “Please?”