Noman (26 page)

"This is where I'll stand," said the Wildman. "A spiker lord in a spiker city."

He too cried down to the men below.

"Heya! Do you lo-o-ove me?"

"Wildman!" they cried. "Wildman! Wildman!"

"Neither of you will stand here," said Morning Star. "This is where we will build the new Garden."

The Wildman and Caressa stared at her in disbelief.

"Here! In the temple!"

"On this rock."

"The temple's in ruins!" said Caressa. "The place is a dump!"

"What sort of god would want to live here?" said the Wildman.

"This is the place," said Morning Star. "This will be the home of the All and Only. I've seen it in my dream."

She walked away from them, back to the western lip. Caressa and the Wildman looked at each other.

"Is she crazy?" said Caressa.

"Could be," said the Wildman.

"Let me talk to her alone."

Caressa joined Morning Star. The descending sun was close to the water now, turning the gleaming surface of the lake a deep coral pink.

"You can tell me the truth," said Caressa in a low voice. "This dream of yours. It fools a lot of people, but it doesn't fool me. So don't think I don't know."

"That's just what I think," said Morning Star, her eyes on the sun. "I think you don't know. I think you don't know anything. But I do know."

She spoke with a hard, clear assurance that Caressa had never heard from her before.

"The Garden will be built," she said. "The god will come. The people will believe. Even the Orlans will believe."

She turned her gaze on Caressa.

"The Orlans will believe because you will tell them to believe. You are the Jahan of Jahans."

Caressa was awed. The quiet, plain-faced girl was transformed. She had become sure and strong and magnificent.

"How can I tell them to believe?" she said. "I don't believe myself."

"Act as if you believe," said Morning Star.

The Wildman, grown impatient, now joined them.

"So now we're here," he said, "what do we do?"

Caressa turned to him.

"She says we're to build a home for the god up here," she said. "You believe in the hoodie god, Wildman?"

"Can't say I don't," said the Wildman slowly. "Can't say I do. Seems like I half believe."

Caressa looked at his golden skin, warmed by the light of the setting sun, and thought how beautiful he was.

"I'll do it if you will," she said.

"Heya, Princess. Why not?"

The sun sank at last beneath the horizon. The sky glowed with the fading sunset.

"Build it," said Morning Star, "and the Lost Child will return."

Over the days that followed, the two armies gradually restored order to the shattered city. The frightened people came out of hiding, and the bandit gangs that had ruled the streets were driven away. The six floors of the temple were cleared, swept, and cleaned, and teams of builders and gardeners set about transforming the summit of the rock. A wall rose up, built of rough-edged stones set in such a way that little chinks of light pierced the mortar in a thousand places. Barrels of soil were hauled to the top and tipped inside the wall. Young trees and bushes and grasses and flowers were planted. The tanks that had held the tributes were filled with water pumped up from the lake, and from the tanks a channel was cut to trickle water into the newly created garden. The work went on rapidly because all the laborers knew what they were building and were excited by it. They were making a home for a god.

Morning Star kept to herself over these days, because wherever she was recognized she was besieged by people calling on her for help. To escape the burden of prayers, she went out riding on Sky, and rode farther each day, taking the little-used tracks to the east. Sky asked her no questions and made no demands. The beautiful Caspian shared her solitude and her silence beneath the endless summer sky.

Then one day she returned to the city and found the people had been looking out for her.

"Little mother!" they cried joyfully. "We thought you'd left us!"

"Not yet," she said.

"The work is finished! The Garden is built!"

"Then we must keep vigil," said Morning Star. "The Lost Child will come to the Garden tonight."

T
HEY BUILT A GREAT BONFIRE IN THE TEMPLE SQUARE,
and the spikers and the Orlans and the people of the city crowded between the broken arcades to watch for the coming of the god. A half-moon rose in the sky, and by its light they gazed up at the new stone wall on the top of the temple rock, within which lay the new Garden. The wall had no doors or windows and was twice the height of a man. If the god was to enter the Garden, he would have to fall down from the sky like a star.

The waiting people were curious and excited but unsure how much to believe.

"How's any god to get in there?" said some.

"There's no god," said others. "They're telling us stories, same as the priests told us stories before."

Caressa heard the people talking among themselves,
and she became increasingly nervous as the night hours passed. She conferred with the Wildman.

"What if nothing happens? What do we do?"

"Star'll know what to do."

"Wildman, she's funny in the head. You only have to look at her."

"So maybe she knows things we don't know."

"And maybe she's making fools of us both."

Morning Star was not in the crowd in the temple square. Quite where she was no one knew.

Midnight came and went, and some of the people left, no longer believing any god would come. The rest huddled together and slept round the glowing bonfire.

"This is stupid," said Caressa. "I'm tired and nothing's going to happen. Let's sleep."

"You sleep if you want," said the Wildman. "I'll call you if something happens."

Then something did happen. There came the sounds of a faraway voice singing and the tread of many feet. Those who were awake round the fire prodded their sleeping companions.

"Wake up! Someone's coming!"

A flickering column of lanterns wound its way down the street and into the square, and with it came the song, high and clear.

"
Mother who made us
Father who guides us
Child who needs us
Light of our days and peace of our nights...
"

The lantern-bearers formed an escort. In their midst, lit by their swaying lights, walked Morning Star, head held high, eyes fixed on the temple rock, singing. The crowd woke and watched, filled once more with eager anticipation.

"It's the little mother," they told each other. "The child will come now."

Morning Star crossed the square and made her way up the many flights of steps that clung to the side of the great rock, singing all the way.

"
We wake in your shadow
We walk in your footsteps
We sleep in your arms...
"

The Wildman watched her climb, with bright eyes.

"Heya," he said softly to Caressa. "Star won't let us down."

"
Lead us to the Garden
To rest in the Garden
To live in the Garden
With you...
"

Now the people in the square could see her emerge onto the top level of the rock, lit by the ring of lanterns, silhouetted against the moonlit sky. She stood before the stone wall that was to be the new Garden, and there her song came to an end. Like everyone else in the city that night, she too now waited for the coming of the Lost Child.

The sight filled the crowd with a new intensity of anticipation.

"You see," they told each other. "The god'll come now."

"How will we know?"

"You just know. That's how it is with gods."

Candle sellers moved through the crowd, crying their wares. "Light a candle to greet the god!"

"What do I want a candle for?"

"Shine a light for the Lost Child to find his way!"

Once one person had bought a candle and lit it, others began to think it must be the thing to do, and soon the square was a sea of candle flames. Everyone was now awake and eagerly staring up at the high Garden.

"Must be soon now," they told one another, seeing the faint twinkle of the morning star on the dawn horizon. Tired though they were, none slept. All wanted to see the coming of the god.

Caressa felt the tension acutely.

"Wildman," she whispered. "What do we do? The sun'll come up, there'll be no god, and what do we do?"

"I got a feeling about this one, Princess. I feel like it's going to work out."

"Then it needs to be soon. Look east."

Many eyes were looking east. The ridge of mountains was now rimmed with pale light. A rumor sprang up and ran through the crowd that the god would come with the sunrise. Some watched the glow on the horizon; others kept their eyes fixed on the stone wall high on the temple rock, eager to be the first to spot the moment the god entered the Garden.

"There! I saw something! I think I saw—"

A young woman in the crowd pointed, stammering in her excitement.

"What? Where?"

The sun broke over the mountains. People looked from the sudden dazzle of light to the temple rock. The rays of the rising sun pierced the cracks between the stones and lit up the Garden like a lantern.

Morning Star suddenly let out an unearthly cry. The sound caused a sensation. All eyes reached up to gaze on the dazzle of the Garden.

"I see it! I see it!"

Many more now thought they saw movement in the Garden. The excitement infected all those round them.

"See! Something moving!"

"Where?"

"I see it! I see it!"

"It's a little child! Oh, the dear one!"

"There! I see it!"

The whole crowd was in a ferment now. Those who had seen nothing to start with now supposed they too saw movement—a figure, a child—and seeing, weeping with joy, they believed.

"The god has come! The child will protect us!"

"I never thought I'd live to see this day!"

"Now all our troubles are over!"

Caressa looked from the temple rock to the Wildman and back to the temple rock.

"I don't see it, Wildman. What do you see?"

"I see what they see," said the Wildman.

Caressa looked round at the ecstatic crowd and shook her head in admiration.

"Act as if you believe, and they'll believe."

The big gate of Cheerful Giver's old house stood open, and the courtyard inside was littered with leaves and the remains of fires, but Morning Star remembered it well. She crossed to the cellar steps and went down into the dark space below. She stood there, letting her eyes adjust to the light that fell through the grated air hole. She had been tethered here and had expected to die. But for all the terror of those days, she found herself envying her younger self. She still had her colors then. She still had her dream of becoming a Noble Warrior. She still had her faith in the god of the Garden.

Now what was left?

She had watched the joyful crowd from the top of the temple rock and felt only sadness. It clung to her like a blanket of darkness. Everything had happened as she had said it would, but there was nothing there. The people believed because they wanted to believe. They had passed the night waiting and watching for the god to come, and so the god had come. She felt no superiority over them. How could she? She too had once believed in the god, and with as little reason. The very eagerness with which this crowd now embraced belief told her that there was no god, only the hunger for a god. She shared their hunger, but could not share their faith. Seeker would understand.

"Where are you, Seeker?"

She spoke aloud, knowing there was no one to hear.

"Find me. Help me. I'm in prison, here in the darkness."

This time of course no voice came to her from the grating. So she climbed back up out of the cellar into the bright light of the courtyard. And there was the Wildman.

"Been looking all over for you," he said.

"I've been keeping away," said Morning Star. "I'm not good company these days."

"What is it, Star? You should be proud. You made it all happen."

"For everyone else, maybe. Not for me."

They sat down side by side on the step that led up to the house's main door. The sunlight glittered on the Wildman's bracelets.

"You're going to go look for him, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Think that'll help?"

"No."

They grinned at each other.

"Things keep on changing, Star. Never know what's coming."

"You got what you want, Wildman?"

"Some. Not all."

"What's left to want?"

"Oh, you know. Me and Caressa, we don't seem to be able to sit quiet. She's a bitch with a bark, that one."

"You never were any good at sitting quiet."

"Maybe not. But I'll tell you what, Star. There's one thing I can't get out of my head. First thing I ever heard from a hoodie: 'Seek your own peace,' he said."

"Still looking for peace?"

"Don't know that I'm looking. No, I'd say I've just about given up."

"Maybe you found it."

"Not a chance. Not with Caressa and her yabba-yabba in my face all day."

One of the Wildman's men came into the courtyard looking for him.

"Go away," said the Wildman.

The spiker retreated to the street outside.

"Always someone pestering me."

"Maybe you found your peace," Morning Star said again. "Maybe you just don't know it. Peace isn't the same thing as quietness."

"So what is it?"

"Being right with yourself. Being who you really are. Living the life you were made to live."

"Heya, Star! Where'd you learn that?"

"I don't know. I just thought it."

"So have you found your peace?"

"No. Not yet. But I think you have, Wildman. I think when you're fighting with Caressa, you're at peace."

The Wildman let out a great laugh.

"That crazy woman! She'll give me no peace for as long as I live!"

Morning Star looked at his golden laughing face and remembered how she had loved him with such intensity that it hurt her just to look at him. It didn't hurt now. Not one bit.