“Why do you still have your coat on? What happened? Tanner?”
Meredith nodded, sobs pushing up her throat. Jill’s bear hug gave her permission to let go. Her body shook, her face hot and wet with tears. When she couldn’t breathe, she angled back and wiped away the wetness on Jill’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I’m soaking you.”
“It’s okay. Just cry it out.”
She did. A long time later, when she finally felt emptied and hollowed out, she pulled away from Jill and fumbled over to the coffee table for a Kleenex. Her head buzzed. She fell back against the couch, feeling completely spent.
Jill curled up next to her and grabbed her hand. “What happened?”
Meredith rested her head against her sister’s shoulder, sniffing and dabbing her running nose with a tissue. “Oh, God, Jillie.”
Jill caressed her hair. Her eyes burned. She swiped at them, coming away with mascara.
“I don’t know…how it happened. Tanner’s…working for Richard…and he was supposed to make me fall in love with him so I couldn’t write the article about Nora Roberts Land.”
Jill took her by the shoulders. “
What
?”
“Someone told Richard about the article. Probably an inside source. That’s how he knew to deliver the flowers here. And Tanner wanted to get a job with him…so he agreed to sabotage me by making me fall in love with him.” She started crying again. “Oh, God, why am I so stupid?”
“Wait, I’m not following. Why would Richard want Tanner to make you fall in love with him?”
The weight in her chest could have crushed stone. “Richard doesn’t want me to write the article. He’s afraid I’ll use what I have on him to ruin his political chances.”
“You have something juicy? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was embarrassed. Plus, it’s my only leverage.” She sniffed. “I told him I’d use it if he didn’t leave me alone.”
“Shit, like he’d be good with that. I’m surprised he didn’t break into your apartment all Trickie-Dickie style.”
She let out a shaky laugh. “He knows I’m not that stupid. But I am. I’m the stupidest girl in the world.”
“That’s enough. What do you have?”
“Photos of him with a high-priced call girl when he went to a journalism convention in Vegas. I had him followed. They’re…grisly. He was careful, but—”
“You’re a journalist.”
She slapped her forehead. “Still stupid though.”
“Stop talking like that.”
“No, you should have seen Tanner. I even told him I loved him. He told me to get out. Oh, Jillie, he said horrible things. I…can’t breathe.”
Jill pushed her back into the couch and raised her arms above her head. “Meredith, you are not having a panic attack. People who are sobbing can’t breathe.” She said it so matter-of-factly Meredith nodded.
She concentrated on the rise and fall of her chest. Soon, she lowered her tingling arms, the needle-like sensation pricking her skin. “Better.”
Jill’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears as she reached for Meredith’s hand. “Okay, so keep talking. Tanner is working for Richard.”
“I still can’t believe he did this.”
Her sister’s hand tightened around hers. “It might have started out that way, but he loves you, Meredith. I know he does.”
“He said he talked women onto their backs all the time. I don’t know who he is.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t believe it, Mere. Tanner wouldn’t have brought his sister and nephew here to spend Thanksgiving with us unless he loved you.”
She sank back into the couch, remembering their snowball fight and how happy they’d looked in the picture at the table. Could Jill be right?
“No.” A fresh batch of tears washed down her face. “Peggy was only here to get the drugs and the paint sample.” She started crying again, sinking forward.
“What are you talking about? What drugs?” Jill asked, nudging her shoulder so she’d meet her eyes.
“For the case.” Her stomach hurt so bad. “Oh, God, it’s true. He didn’t love me. He wanted the job with Richard. He only used the case as an excuse to bring me closer, to make me fall for him.”
Jill grabbed her shoulders. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“I can’t think straight!” Meredith sobbed out, rubbing her throbbing temples.
“What’s this about drugs and paint samples?”
The pounding in her head increased. “It’s…an article we’re working on. That’s it.” Please, Jill, leave this alone, she almost begged.
Jill put her hands on her hips. “No, it’s not.”
She rubbed the back of her neck. Abba drilled into her skull, which felt like it was on the verge of exploding.
“Why would Tanner have his cop sister take drugs…” Her whole face crumbled. “This is about Jemma, isn’t it? At first I thought about Grandpa asking me about drugs and parties, but when they said she had a heart murmur…” Tears filled her eyes.
“Jill.”
“Oh, God!” she said, pressing her hands to her cheeks. “Grandpa was right all along. Something was wrong with the drugs.”
“Jill, let me—”
“And Ray was the dealer. He didn’t have a car accident, did he?”
Meredith’s throat squeezed to a centimeter at the pain in Jill’s voice.
“Dammit, don’t keep this from me! Jemma was my best friend! Losing her cut a hole in me.” She put her hand to her heart. “You have to tell me. Please!”
“Jill, I can’t.”
“How
dare
you keep this from me?” She grabbed her stomach.
“Jill, it’s not—”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“It’s not safe to tell you any of this.” Meredith thought of what had happened with Peggy and Keith. “I promise I’ll tell you everything once this is over.”
“No, you’ll fucking tell me now.”
Her sister rarely used the f-bomb. “I have to talk to Grandpa.”
“Oh, God, he kept this from me too?”
“Jill, he didn’t mean—”
“If you don’t tell me, you’re not my sister anymore.”
Meredith sucked in a breath. “You don’t mean that.”
Lifting her chin, eyes gleaming from tears, Jill said, “I do.”
The utter flatness in her voice made Meredith clench her arms protectively around herself. To lose Tanner had been horrible enough, but Jill? She couldn’t lose her sister.
“Okay, but you have to keep this quiet.”
She proceeded to tell her everything they knew. Jill curled forward like a roly poly bug as she spoke.
“We’re going to get them,” Meredith said, trying to offer her sister some comfort. “I promise.”
Silence yawned between them. Jill finally sat up and wiped her nose with her sleeve. Her shaking hand grasped a photo—in it, she and Jemma were wrapped around each other at high school graduation, huge smiles on their faces. “How could you have kept this from me? You know what she meant to me!”
“I’m sorry.”
Jill stood up and walked into the kitchen without a backwards glance. Meredith followed, the distance between them growing.
“I want you to stay at Mom and Dad’s or Grandpa’s place for a while,” she uttered in a stranger’s voice.
“Jill!”
“I need some time.” She swiped a hand under her nose. “You lied about my best friend’s death. I can forgive a lot of things, but that…”
Meredith took a step forward. The floor squeaked beneath her feet. “Jill, please.”
Her sister turned her back to her, reaching for a glass of water. “I mean it, Meredith. Please. I’m going to bawl my eyes out in a minute. I want to be alone.”
She wasn’t the only one. Sobs clawed at Meredith’s throat, but she forced herself to spin around and walk out of the kitchen. She packed quickly, listening for Jill’s footsteps. Surely she’d change her mind.
She didn’t.
Jill was still in the kitchen when she returned. “I’m so sorry, Jillie.” Had she completely destroyed their relationship? “I love you,” she whispered.
Jill’s back muscles clenched, but she didn’t turn around.
Meredith cried softly and left. The bitter wind touched her face as her feet moved like leaden pegs, one in front of the other.
She was alone again.
She had been betrayed by Tanner, and now she was her sister’s betrayer.
How could she ever recover?
She walked to her car with no answers, and broke a nail while trying to open the door. When she collapsed into the driver’s seat, the sobs started.
You’re stronger than this
, Divorcée Woman said sternly.
Meredith pulled on her hair. Great, she was still hearing voices. Perhaps she should simply check herself into a mental institution. At least they’d keep her medicated.
God, what was she going to do?
She put the car in gear and headed to her parent’s house. She needed some time alone, a place to hide where she could cry as loud as she had to. She’d call her grandpa in the morning. He’d be able to think about all of this more clearly. Hell, he could deal with Asshole Tanner.
She wanted to be angry, but she couldn’t muster the energy. Her tears had smothered the flames.
Perhaps there was something wrong with her. How else could she explain why the men she loved didn’t love her back?
As she drove across town, she asked the darkest question of all.
Was Meredith Hale simply unlovable?
Chapter 46
H
is mind racing too much for sleep, Tanner opened his eyes and stared at the dying fire. Peggy and Keith had made it safely home, thank God. He tried to focus on the one thing that had gone right tonight.
Hugo stirred on the floor beside him, his ears twitching.
After stripping the bed upstairs, he’d cocooned himself in the den. Her scent—their scent—permeated his bedroom. Even down here, he caught a whiff of her, something floral and fresh and all Meredith. He rubbed his chest. Guilt, fear, and hurt clamped down on his heart like forceps.
Hugo jerked up and looked at him, his ears alert.
“What’s the matter, boy? You missing her too?”
He raced off. Tanner had no idea what Hugo’s bathroom schedule was like at this time of night. Thank God for the doggie door.
Hugo suddenly started barking in loud, nonstop bursts. Tanner leaned up on the couch. Was it an animal? When the barking turned staccato, he tugged on his slippers and walked to the door.
When he opened it, he saw a dark shape running across the yard, Hugo racing behind it.
“Hey!” He sprinted after them, ice and gravel crunching beneath his feet. Smart, McBride. Chasing some guy in the dark. Still, he was too amped up to stop.
He raced down the drive but quickly realized the intruder had too much of a head start. Tanner would be lucky to catch him.
Who was it? Kenny or Barlow?
He pumped his arms as he raced through the blackness. The guy must have driven here and parked at the end of the driveway.
As he neared the sound of Hugo’s barking, he made out a car in the distance. And a male body sliding across the hood.
“Stop!”
Hugo uttered a bone-chilling whine, and then his barking ceased. Tanner’s heart squeezed over the pounding.
“Hugo!”
He could make out the intruder’s black clothes and stocking cap as the guy jumped into the driver’s side of the car, the overhead light popping on. Tanner couldn’t see his face, but he could see Hugo’s body on the ground, unmoving.
The door slammed, plunging the man back into darkness, and the car shot off, spewing gravel. He squinted, but couldn’t make out the plates. The intruder hadn’t turned on his lights. Tanner picked up his pace, his lungs burning from the below-zero air.
“Hugo!”
The whine assured him Hugo was alive. He skidded to a halt beside the dog and gathered him up in his arms.
“There’s a good boy,” he crooned between choppy breaths, encouraged when Hugo licked him under the chin. “You’d better not be hurt.”
Running to the house, he kicked the door closed, flicked the overhead light on, and laid Hugo on the dining room table. Tanner ran his hands along his soft fur. The swelling in his ribs confirmed the bastard had kicked him. Hugo struggled in his hold and tried to stand, woofing three times.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re trying to convince me you’re okay.” He slid into a chair, his legs giving out, and rubbed Hugo under the ears. “Well, I’m not. They can come after me, but not my dog. You’re a brave boy, aren’t you?”
When he tried to stand again, Tanner let him down. “Okay, you win, but you’re getting a treat.”
He started toward the kitchen and stopped, realizing his dog hadn’t followed. Hugo barked and nudged at the front door.
“You want to go out?”
The second he opened it, the dog trotted outside. Tanner went back to the kitchen for a flashlight, and then followed him. The dog’s gait was slow and stiff as Tanner watched him walk over to his car. Hugo limped around to the driver’s side and barked once. Shining the flashlight in that direction, Tanner caught sight of a red Swiss army knife lying a few inches under the car’s body.
“Fuckers were trying to cut my brake line,” he whispered, sitting back on his heels. He’d bet money on it.
He headed back inside for a Ziploc bag to pocket the evidence. Maybe they’d catch a break with a fingerprint.
Finding out that his sister was a cop must have made them more reckless and desperate. Hell, they must have cased the house enough to know he had a dog, and they’d decided to pull this stunt anyway.
He’d send the knife to Peg in the morning. Both of the men had prints on file—Barlow because he was a cop, and Kenny because he was former military. Now they just had to sit tight and hope for a match.
After nudging Hugo back, he deftly drew the knife into the bag. The cold, hard ground dug into his vertebrae when he slid under the car. The flashlight showed that his brake line hadn’t been cut.
Hugo had stopped it from happening.
He slid out and hugged Hugo to his chest. “You’re a good dog.”
He’d been targeted before, but never in the good old U. S. of A. He wanted peace. He wanted to believe in happily ever after—just like Meredith, he realized.
But instead of backing down, the criminals just kept raising the stakes. First his sister and then him.
Who was next?
“Meredith,” he breathed out.