North Star (23 page)

Goonda was a hive of activity on the morning of the cattle drive. Liam was beside himself, a grin stretching from ear to ear as he sat up on the old tan mare. His riding had improved dramatically since those first tentative days of nervously plodding around the stockyards. Now, faced with his first real-life cattle drive—albeit a few short kilometres to North Star next door—he could barely conceal his excitement. He, Matt and Amy would be on horseback, while Nathan would be on a quad bike.

The day before, a large semitrailer had delivered the last of the stock bought at the final sale earlier in the week. Having come to the decision that North Star's access would be a problem for the truck, they decided to unload them at Goonda and herd them across.

Kate leant against the stock rails. The early morning air was filled with the smell of cattle, dust and dung. The cattle pranced about nervously as bikes revved and horses jostled their heads, mouthing bits and jingling bridles.

Giving Liam a final warning to be careful, she was greeted with a disgusted ‘Muuum,' before he turned his mount around and followed the procession through the gates.

Jenny, Kate and Georgia headed back to North Star in the ute, to prepare for the welcome barbecue later in the afternoon.

There was still a great deal of cleaning and sewing to be done in preparation for opening up the accommodation side of things, and that was how the three women spent the morning. In the afternoon the noise of the approaching drovers brought an immediate halt to their work.

Loud bellows preceded the herd's arrival, and Kate walked out towards the stockyards, shading her eyes as she searched the dust and moving cattle for her son. When she spotted him a wide smile broke out across her face. He looked exhilarated. She bit her lip and let her gaze touch everything around her in gratitude.

When the gate shut behind the last of the stock, the riders dismounted and a cheer went up to celebrate the first cattle muster on North Star in decades. Kate could almost feel the old place give a nod of approval.

A week later Kate stared at the phone in frustration. She'd been expecting the contractor she'd hired to come and fix her driveway today. The earth-moving machinery they'd need to counter the erosion and the years of neglect had already been delayed for over a week and she was starting to get more than a little antsy. The track had to be fixed before she got the farm stay up and running; she could hardly expect paying guests to drive their vehicles down her driveway in its present condition. Not to mention the fact that trucks would eventually need to be brought in for the cattle; it wouldn't always be practical to muster them back and forth between Goonda and North Star.

From outside, the excited shouts of her children caught her attention. Liam and Georgia . . . together . . . laughing? Surely this was cause for celebration.

She pushed open the front door and the smile fell from her face as she caught sight of the man in the front yard being happily strangled by her children. A cold lump settled in her stomach.

Why now?

‘Hello, Kate,' Andy greeted her, a triumphant gleam in his eyes as the children jumped and frolicked like excited puppies around him.

Damn him.

Finding her voice, Kate marched down the stairs. ‘What are you doing here?'

‘I came for a visit.'

Liam beamed up at his father, and Kate's heart skipped a beat.

‘Kids, go inside for a minute. I need to speak to your dad.'

Liam's smile wavered as he switched his glance warily between his parents.

‘She's going to send him away,' Georgia snarled, and took a step closer to her father.

‘Inside—now!' Kate ordered, and watched her son and daughter sulk away to sit on the verandah defiantly. ‘What do you want?'

‘I want to see my kids.'

Kate's anger flashed across her face, and he took a slight step back. ‘You can't be here. There's a restraining order against you, Andy.'

‘I miss my kids.'

‘Yeah, they're the most important thing in your life, right?'

‘They are.'

‘If those kids meant so much to you, you'd have gotten help and done everything in your power to ensure you didn't lose them.'

‘It must be nice to be able to sit there on that pedestal and judge everyone, Kate,' Andy spat. ‘You have no clue how hard it is having an addiction.'

‘That's right, keep playing the victim.'

‘That's my Kate—full of compassion,' he scoffed.

‘You have to actually
do
something to earn compassion. You don't keep screwing up your life and everyone else's and expect to be welcomed back with open arms.' Kate was trying to keep her voice low, despite the urge to scream at him.

‘You took our kids and moved on without me.'

Kate gave a small snort of disbelief. ‘I'm not doing this—you're not welcome here, I want you gone, now.'

‘Oh, I don't know, let's see what the kids think. I mean, it was
them
I came to see.'

Before Kate could protest, he called out to the kids cheerfully, ‘What do you say, guys? You want me to stay for a few days?'

They came running down the stairs, launching themselves at their father, love shining so brightly in their eyes that it brought a sharp sting of pain to her chest.

‘Oh cool, thanks Mum!' Liam said happily.

How could she deny them this, she thought, when she could see how much they loved him?

Andy watched her carefully from across the heads of their children.

‘Come on, Dad, I'll show you where you can sleep.' Liam tugged at his father's hand, leading him towards the house.

‘No!' Kate said loudly. ‘Your father can stay in the bunkhouse.'

Liam's face fell, but she didn't weaken; there was no way that man was going to stay in her house.

‘It's okay, mate, I don't mind sleeping over there. Hey, why don't you grab a sleeping bag and sleep over there with me?'

‘Can I, Mum? Oh wow.'

Kate stared at Andy with a fury so intense that she didn't trust herself to be anywhere near him. ‘We'll talk about it later,' she said tightly, turning and heading into the house without a backward glance.

Walking into her bedroom, she closed the door firmly behind her, then leant back against it as hot tears of anger and despair rolled down her face. After a few moments she took a breath and regathered her composure, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. He couldn't hurt them any more. They weren't alone in the big city now, they were safe out here among friends, and there was no money he could steal from her.

Of course, it was only a matter of picking up the phone and calling John and she could probably have Andy thrown in jail for breaking the restraining order. But all that was going to do was alienate her children further.

She'd give him two days and that was it, even if it meant calling in the police. He wasn't going to keep playing on their kids' emotions as though it was all just a big game.

Kate paced the verandah, listening to the ringing on the other end of the line as she waited for John to pick up. A stern policeman's voice, which wasn't John's, came over the line instructing her to leave a message and her call would be returned as soon as possible and if it was an emergency to call 000 immediately. Was it an emergency? It felt like one. Releasing a frustrated sigh, she waited for the beep and left a message.

‘Hey John, I'm sorry to do this, but would it be okay if we cancelled dinner tonight . . . I'm really tired, it's been a shocker of a day.'
He had no idea how much of a shock it had been.
‘I'll drop by tomorrow morning and buy you a coffee to make it up to you.'

Ending the call, she headed back inside with a savage glance towards the bunkhouse and the squeals of laughter coming from within.

It was eight-thirty when she saw headlights weaving their way towards the house. She'd been sitting out on the verandah in the dark—alone and feeling sorry for herself. She groaned. This had the potential to turn ugly. She jumped up and walked towards the vehicle before it had even come to a stop.

‘I left you a message,' she said, talking to John through the window in an attempt to stop him getting out of the car.

John eyed her curiously. ‘Yeah, I got it. I've been out of town all day, so I thought I'd drop in on my way through to check on you.' He searched her face expectantly. ‘Everything all right?'

‘Yep.'

‘Look Kate, I know I've been working long hours lately, but it's not always this hectic.'

Kate shook her head. ‘No, I know you're busy—I'm not worried about that.'

‘Then what
are
you worried about?'

Kate opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Where to start?

A loud shriek from the bunkhouse drew his gaze. ‘What's going on over there tonight?' he asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘The kids are just having a sleepout.'

He studied her in thoughtful silence until she gave a small huff of frustration and said, ‘Look, I'm not upset about your work hours, I'm just tired. You really should go home and get some rest.' He looked tired himself and she wished she could ask him inside and smooth away the frown marring his brow as he watched her steadily from the driver's seat.

‘Kate, what's going on?' he asked softly, and she closed her eyes briefly to block out his handsome face. It would be so easy to open the door and let him hold her, but then he'd ask more questions and she'd have to put him in a very awkward position. As a police officer, he'd be obliged to do something about a man violating a restraining order, and she could imagine how the children would feel about a man who had arrested their father.

‘Just this once, John, can you please not be a cop and just stop thinking the worst?' she said and saw that she'd hurt him. She pushed away from the car. ‘I'll come by tomorrow, okay?' she said, trying to soften the brush-off.

‘Well, if you're not too busy—I don't want to interrupt anything,' he said, starting the engine and giving her an exasperated look.

She wrapped her arms about herself protectively and watched him drive away into the dark, all the while wishing she could run after him and call him back. Turning away, she kicked a stone and swore under her breath. Shining knights on white steeds were the stuff of fairytales. In real life, no one else could step in and clean up your mess. You just had to knuckle down and do it all yourself.

Kate woke the next morning feeling out of sorts and more than a little unsettled. Dragging herself from bed, she went to the back window and peeked out to see if there was any movement in the bunkhouse yet. All seemed quiet.

She took a quick shower and threw on jeans and a T-shirt, then pulled on her dusty workboots at the back door and headed outside to call the kids in to get ready for school. Dad or no dad, they were not staying home to play happy families with him on a school day.

She knocked briskly on the door and stepped back to listen for movement. What time had they finally got to sleep last night? Her growing irritation at Andy and his selfish behaviour was not helping the insistent throb in her head that she knew was the beginnings of a day-long headache.

With a low growl, she opened the door and walked in to rouse the kids. The bunkhouse was empty.

Immediately she felt sick. She shouldn't have left them alone with him. He couldn't be trusted. God, what an idiot she'd been. Turning on her heel, she ran back towards the house and grabbed her keys. Maybe they were taking a walk, showing their dad the property.

A quick tour of the immediate surrounds proved fruitless. Resting her head on the steering wheel, she tried to calm her racing thoughts.

A car.

Her heart dropped to her feet as she suddenly realised he hadn't been driving a car. She'd been so shocked to discover that her ex-husband had materialised in her front yard that she'd completely overlooked the fact he hadn't even had a vehicle. How on earth had he got here? She raised her eyes to search the horizon as she mulled it over in her mind. Perhaps he'd hitchhiked or caught a bus, or even walked. It would have been a positive sign if he'd had a car—it would have meant he hadn't hocked it because he needed cash.

Swinging the car around, she headed towards the main road. If he planned to abscond with the children, then he'd have to walk into town to catch a bus. She prayed that wasn't the case, because right now if she found him walking along the side of the road with her children she wasn't sure what she might do.

As it turned out, there wasn't any sign of them anywhere along the road into town.

She asked at the general store, where the bus did a pick-up and drop-off twice a week, whether any buses had gone through last night or this morning and was told that none were due till late Friday.

After returning home, without still any sign of them, Kate returned to town and headed for the police station. It was a little after midday and she had no idea where her children were.

As she opened the door, John looked up from his seat at the desk and she saw his expression tighten a little. He was talking on the phone and he held up his coffee cup, tossing his head in the direction of the staff room out the back to indicate she should go through and make herself a coffee while she waited.

She didn't think she could drink another coffee—she was already on edge as it was. Standing in front of the window, her arms braced against the sink and her head bowed, she didn't hear him come up behind her until he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him.

‘Tell me what's going on, Kate,' he murmured against her ear.

Turning in his embrace, she buried her head against his wide chest and allowed herself to enjoy his arms around her for the briefest of moments, taking just enough comfort to enable her to look up and face him.

‘I can't find the kids.'

‘What?'

‘I've been driving around all morning looking . . . I can't find them.'