Merrilee smiled. “Bull could use something to do.” She nodded to the crate of soap on the hand truck. “He can handle the delivery. You’re already cleared for Anchorage…and Sue’s on standby to pick you up at the airport and get you to the hospital.”
“You were that sure of me?”
“Hopeful, honey, hopeful. I know a strong woman when I see one.”
Tears rushed to the back of Juliette’s eyes. That was probably one of the nicest things another woman had ever said to her. Impulsively she reached out and hugged Merrilee. It felt good.
A family like Sven’s, a family like she’d never had, needed to be protected at all costs. She’d never meant to harm them, to bring trouble to their door. She was strong enough to go and set things to right. She’d be strong enough for both of them.
* * *
S
VEN
STOOD
AT
THE
waiting-room window overlooking the sprawl that had become Anchorage. An antiseptic smell permeated the air. A television mounted high in the corner was tuned in to some daytime talk-show host. At least the volume was set to low. On one side of the waiting room, his grandmothers flanked his mother. They sat huddled, talking in undertones.
Darnita and Eric sat in the corner opposite the television. Eric had his arm around his wife’s shoulders as she napped with her head against his chest. Sven didn’t think his brother was asleep, but his eyes were closed.
Sven stood, alone, simply waiting, cold, despite the sun slanting through the tempered glass. Down the hallway, Pops was fighting for his life. It all held a surreal note. It was as if his world had suddenly capsized on him, as if all the anchors that had kept him grounded were disappearing.
He didn’t want to think about the grim possibility of his dad not making it through, of Pops not being there for his wife, his sons, his grandchildren. Sven pushed those thoughts aside. In the distance, the sun glinted off a plane. Was it coming or going? It really didn’t matter.
He thought about Juliette. About the scent of her hair as he lay in her bed, her head tucked in the crook of his shoulder, the laughter in her eyes when they were picking out the puppies, the slide of her naked body over his, her sharing the stove space with him, scrambling eggs while he cooked the sausage.
He realized the low murmur of female voices had ceased. He sensed her, smelled her, recognized her footfall across the tile floor, before she even touched him.
Wordlessly, Juliette joined him at the window and slipped her hand into his. Her hand, small but strong and warm, wrapped around his. In that one gesture she offered solace and strength. In that moment, it was as if a weight had been shifted, a burden shared.
He looked down at her. “Thank you for coming.”
She nodded, her brown eyes dark with concern and inquiry. “Are you okay?”
He squeezed his fingers around hers. “I’m fine.”
Now that you’re here.
“Any news?”
He shook his head. “For now, no news is good news. It should be about another half hour.”
“Do you need anything?”
He smiled at her, his heart immeasurably lighter. “Not now.”
However, there was a look in her eyes that gave him pause. “I’m glad you’re okay. I needed to know you were.”
He spoke from his heart. “I needed you here.”
“Sven, I don’t want to bring any drama to this, but I can’t stand that your involvement with me has come between you and your family. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but tell your mom I’m bowing out.”
She was worth fighting for. Even if she was the one he had to fight. “No.”
“Your family…what you all have…it’s something special, precious.”
“So is what we have.” There was no bluff, no bravado behind his words. He spoke with conviction. “And it’s not as if I can’t have both my family and you.”
“Sven, your dad had a heart attack.”
“Obviously.”
“So, I get involved in your life and your family disapproves and your dad winds up in the E.R. I’m not good for you. I’m not going to bring this to your family. I’ll just go back to being alone—”
“No.”
“But—”
“No. You are not going to go back to being alone. My father had a heart attack because he needed bypass surgery and didn’t know it. And it wasn’t a family argument that brought this on. He was training for a marathon, plain and simple.”
“Oh.”
“Oh is right. You, us, none of it had anything to do with Pops having a heart attack.”
“But your mom called and canceled, obviously upset—”
“Yep. And then Pops today. Two totally unrelated events. So, try as hard as you can, you can’t blame yourself for Pops’s heart attack. And try as hard as you might, you’re not going to get rid of me so easily. I’m in for the long haul.”
13
J
ULIETTE
STOOD
STOCK
-
STILL
,
letting his words go through her, sink into her.
I’m in for the long haul.
They felt more sincere than the marriage vows mouthed by either of her former husbands.
She nodded slowly. “Okay.” It was an acknowledgment not an affirmation. She needed process time and they were standing in a hospital waiting room.
A short woman with short blond hair and Sven’s brilliant blue eyes crossed the room. Juliette vaguely recognized her. It dropped into place for Juliette. She had seen the woman in passing during Chrismoose the first year Juliette had worked in Good Riddance. Sven’s mom. Apprehension clutched in her gut. It was hard to meet someone when you knew they already disliked you. But Sven had needed her. And this woman’s husband and mate was fighting for his life on an operating-room table, so how she felt about Juliette didn’t matter at the moment. This wasn’t about Juliette.
“Mom, Juliette Miller. Juliette, my mother.”
It was strange. Sven didn’t move into a different position, but it was as if he grew bigger than he already was. It was as if he positioned himself between her and his mother, as if to say anyone would have to go through him first to get to Juliette and that wasn’t going to happen. It was subtle and unspoken, but it felt like the grandest gesture ever.
“Mrs. Sorenson. I’m so sorry about your husband.” She held out her hand as she nodded in the direction of the hallway, which was about as close as she came to knowing where the O.R. was.
The older woman shook her hand, looking from her to Sven to their clasped hands and nodded slowly. “Thank you. Thank you for coming for my son.”
“I had to,” Juliette said simply and quietly.
Marge Sorenson held her gaze, her look searching. Juliette opened her heart, letting Marge see inside her, letting her see how much Sven had come to mean to her.
“I see.”
And Juliette knew she did.
Sven looked from his mother to Juliette, a faint frown furrowing his brow, obviously perplexed by their nearly silent exchange. It was one of those estrogen moments when a man just didn’t get the different plane that women could operate on.
Juliette indicated the shopping bag she’d carried in and set on the floor. “I picked up some chicken and a couple of side dishes. I didn’t know if anyone had had a chance to eat. It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. Plus, that’s what we do where I’m from.”
For the first time ever she acknowledged her past, her roots, without regret or rancor. She was what she was, the good, the bad and the in-between all mixed up into one person. She was sure, however, the scales tipped in the direction of the good. Standing here, talking to this woman, she no longer felt like the one in the white T-shirt club with the grease stain.
“I’m kind of lost,” he said. “Something’s going on but I’m not sure what.”
His mother smiled and patted his arm. “That’s okay, son. I just realized something important. Everything in life comes with risk. This was a good risk because you’re a different man. I should have trusted you and your instincts.” She looked back at Juliette. “Merrilee said you were precious and she’s right. And I know now why my son loves you.”
Juliette’s heart, already full, overflowed. There was no longer room for indecision or inadequacy in her life.
“Thank you. That means a lot.” Juliette looked at Sven, knowing full well her heart was in her eyes. “And I love him, too.”
It didn’t feel strange or awkward to say the words out loud. It simply felt good and right. Love was meant to be shared, not clutched close in fear. It left you vulnerable, but she also understood, standing here now, just how strong it made you as well, to love and give love.
His family looked on, somewhat bemused. Much as everyone had last night at Gus’s when he’d declared himself.
“For real?” he said, a slow smile curving his mouth.
“For real.”
His mother offered a nod of satisfaction. “Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have walked through that door.”
And in the middle of what was one of the happiest moments of her life, the surgeon, his mask pushed up to his forehead, walked in.
* * *
S
VEN
HEARD
THE
SHOWER
shut off in the hotel bathroom. Pops was doing great—as great as a man could be doing after going through open-heart surgery. The doc had been pretty sure that he’d be moving to a regular room tomorrow.
He’d been so relieved he’d damn near cried. And he was glad Juliette was staying over in Anchorage tonight with him. Yeah, he had his family around, but he’d wanted her to stay.
The bathroom door opened and she stepped out from a cloud of steam. Her short dark hair clung damply to her scalp. She’d wrapped a thick white towel around her sarongwise, which left the creamy slope of her shoulders and legs bare. He would never tire of looking at this woman.
He shifted on the king-size bed, patting the spot next to him in invitation.
She stood for a moment, simply looking at him. “Lord, you are beautiful, both inside and out.”
For her to say that to him… Because this woman had seen into his soul, into the depths of him and thought he was enough, meant the world to him. That in finding her, he’d found an important part of himself—a strength and fortitude he’d always been unsure of. “So are you, honey, so are you. Come here.”
“But my hair is wet, so it’ll get you wet.”
“Come here.” He held up his arm and she laughed as she climbed up on the bed and settled next to him in the crook. He rubbed his fingers against the curve of her shoulders, loving the play of smooth skin beneath his fingertips. “Mmm, you smell good, fresh.”
She turned her head to inhale against his arm. “I love the way you smell.”
“Really? How do I smell?”
She shrugged against him and smiled. “I don’t know. It’s just your scent. You.”
She wrapped her fingers around his arm. “I didn’t expect that today…you know, with your mother.”
“I knew if she met you she’d like you. I was wrong.”
Juliette stiffened next to him. “I thought she did like me.”
He supposed he shouldn’t tease her. “My mother adores you,” Sven said.
“It was the chicken,” she said with a smile. He liked it when she made little jokes.
“That didn’t hurt. Seriously, it was you. I just want to say thank-you all over again.”
“I’m really glad your dad is okay.”
“You and me both.” He tightened his arm around her. Today had certainly taught him not to take the people he loved for granted. “Mom’s in her element now, hovering around him.”
“They’re obviously devoted to one another.”
“Yeah, they are.” The same way he would be devoted to her, now that he’d found her.
“And your brother and his wife are very nice.”
“Wait until you meet that kid of theirs. She’s something else.” He wanted her to know he was planning forward. “They all liked you. I knew they would—not that it would’ve mattered if they didn’t.” Not that he particularly wanted to bring it up, but they needed to clear the air and he might as well get it out of the way. “I owe you a big apology. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just walked in at Gus’s and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust you, but I was so damn scared when I saw you sitting there at the bar.” And that was an understatement.
She rolled onto her side, wrapping her arm around his middle. “No. I’m the one who owes you an apology. I think on some level I set that up. It wasn’t a conscious thought, but when I look back on it…well, I knew I’d caused a rift between you and your family. I knew the reason had to be the alcoholism, so if…I don’t know…I guess I set you up to freak out and you did and then I wanted to be indignant, so I own that.”
“How about we were both wrong and let’s just let it go?”
“That works for me,” she said.
Her towel had fallen open a bit, offering a distracting view of thigh and hip. He traced his fingertip over the curve of her hip and felt her tremble against him. “I need to adequately thank you…but I want to hear you say something to me again. Now that it’s just the two of us with no distractions.”
Juliette teased her toe along his leg, a gleam in her eyes. “I’m really excited about getting a dog.”
He cupped her hip in his palm. “Try again, babe.”
“The set for the play is coming along nicely.”
“Uh-huh.” He smoothed his thumb along her hip bone.
“Your family is nice.” And her breathing wasn’t quite even.
“Juliette…”
Her eyes growing serious, she reached up and smoothed her hand over his face, her fingertips feathering against his brow. “I love you. I love you in a way I never thought I could love anyone.”
Those were perhaps the sweetest words he’d ever heard spoken, coming from her. “How do you feel about kids?”
She laughed.
What was so damn funny? “I’m serious.”
She peered at him. “You are serious. I don’t know, Sven. I’m thinking, given my family history, it’s best if I pass on that. Can’t we just take it one day at a time?”
Now that he knew what he wanted, had found what he wanted, he wanted it all—no more sliding by, no more settling. “I don’t see why we can’t talk about a future. I love you and you love me. I’m not looking for anyone else. I don’t want anyone else. I think we should get married. And Alberta predicted this.”
“What? Alberta predicted what?”
Oh, hell.
He’d figured she’d known, that somehow it had gotten back to her the way everything did in Good Riddance. Well, she was about to find out now. “You and me. When she rolled back into town, she told me I was ready for love and I told her she was nuts. Then she told me you were the one and I told her she was really nuts.”
“Really? Really?” Uh, her voice escalated on that second really. “And what was so wrong with me?”
“Because I’d always liked my women simple and uncomplicated, and, babe, we both know there’s not a thing uncomplicated about you.”
She relaxed somewhat against him. “Somehow that feels like a backhanded compliment. So, is that why you asked me out to your place for dinner? Because of some prognostication from Alberta? And now you want to talk about getting married because she predicted it? That’s crazy.”
“It would be…if it was the case. I asked you to dinner because I was intrigued by you.”
She was somewhat mollified. “That’s good, I suppose.”
“And I asked you to marry me because I love you. Alberta has nothing to do with it. And I do think you’d make a good mom.”
She tensed against him once again, but if they were going to make a go of it, they had to be able to talk to one another.
“How could you possibly have any idea what kind of mom I’d make?”
“I saw you with Baby.”
“Baby’s a dog. There’s a big difference between a dog and a kid.”
“Okay. But haven’t you had any of that biological-clock-ticking business going on since you’re thirty-two already?”
She looked at him as if he’d taken a stupid pill. “Amazingly enough, given my advanced age, I haven’t experienced that particular phenomenon.”
“That was the wrong thing for me to say, huh?”
“Ya think?”
He slid his hand over her hip to one plump butt cheek. “Can we still fool around?”
“I don’t know. I might need a nap…given how old I am and with my clock running out of time.”
While he squeezed the rounded fullness beneath his palm, he nuzzled at her neck. “No problem. I don’t mind at all when you nap first.”
She drew in an unsteady breath and rolled, putting her crotch in direct contact with his, and rocked against him.
Oh, yeah.
“Or I suppose I can nap afterward.”
“Are you saying I put you to sleep?”
She laughed—he loved to hear her laugh. “Never. You simply relax me with great sex so that I can sleep afterward.”
He grinned as he peeled the towel back, leaving her naked. “Great, huh?”
“Ah, I see you just want your ego stroked.”
“Actually, I was hoping to have some other things stroked, as well. If we have to limit it, I’ll forgo my ego if you’ll…”
“Needy.”
“Admittedly.” He caught her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “I need this…” He bent his head and teased his tongue over the pebbled point. “And this…”
“Me, too,” she murmured as he showed her just how much he loved her.
* * *
A
FEW
WEEKS
LATER
,
J
ULIETTE
met Sue, whom Dalton had flown in, at the door. The community center had definitely been transformed. Tables had been draped with white cloth and a buffet table, provided by Gus’s, stood against the far wall.
“I’m so glad you came.” Sue was family as far as Juliette was concerned, in a way she’d never felt about her own folks.