Not Alone (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Emmalynne

Day three post -Grady and I was back in my store. One thing I could say was that Grady didn’t give up easily. Once I retrieved my cell phone, charged it because it had long since died, I received countless text messages and phone calls, all asking for me to hear him out.

After my very long and very hot shower, I walked out into the living room, where it looked like a flower shop had exploded. Several deliveries from Grady, all of them said the same thing: Please hear him out.

Tessa finally got to tell me her version of what went down when she stormed into the bar after Grady and BB, -Brunette Bombshell-, and honestly, to have been a fly on the wall. She also mentioned that she dropped the F bomb a little too freely, but didn’t show any remorse about it.

Toby informed me about Tuckers little confrontation with Grady, and my heart swelled just thinking of my little man defending his mommy, even if it wasn’t the right thing to do.

I even got to chat a little with Charlie, the newest member of
The Nation’s Capital
. Charlie Hennings had just recently moved to Brown County from Arizona. He was extremely tall, taller than Grady, and extremely handsome, but not nearly as much as Grady. I knew, comparing him to Grady didn’t help things, but no matter what, he still had my heart.

Charlie had black, messy hair that looked like his hands had run through it a time or two too many, but it definitely worked for him. Hidden behind his steely gray eyes, was sadness. That was the first thing I noticed when formally introduced to him, post-zombie haze. Even though my eyes were still abnormally puffy, I could recognize the sadness lurking in the depths of his eyes. They said that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and I was sensing a story there.

Which brought me to the present. I came in bright and early, loaded down with lots of baked goods, which I had stayed up late making. I had several things to catch up on while I was out.

I owed Rose and Miles a lot for pulling together and running the store for the past two days.

The customers were especially happy to have me back, but it wasn’t because of my smiling face. It was forced, but it was there. They had missed my baking. And I did as well. Two days not baking was the longest I’d ever went in the four years since my Bookstore had been open. Now, to most people that really didn’t seem like a lot, but for me it was an eternity.

Within the first hour of the store opening, Rose pulled me aside to shed some light on my current situation.

First she pulled me in for a long, grandmotherly hug. She pulled back while keeping her arms secure on my shoulders, and said, “Emmalynne, that boy has been perched outside of the store for the past three days now, waiting to get a glimpse of you.” She had released one hand from my shoulder, and pointed towards the front of the store. Following her finger, sure enough Grady was slumped against a pole, on Franklin St., right outside of my store.

“Now, that isn’t the type of behavior of a man who intended to cheat on you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and dear, that boy is in love.”

“Rose, what are you getting at here?”

“Em, my point is, maybe you saw what you wanted to see. You think you aren’t worthy enough for him, which is pure blasphemy, but maybe just maybe you thought you saw him kiss her, so it would justify your logic. I think you should truly let him speak his piece, and see that this was all just a big misunderstanding.”

“Thank you Rose for your concern, but that’s something that I will have to think about. I opened my life and my heart and he threw it away like it was nothing.”

Walking up to the door of the store, I looked out the window as I pulled my cell phone from my back pocket. Opening my contacts list, I scrolled down to the name which I was looking for and pressed call. All the built up tension from the last few days caused me to snap. Now, I felt like kicking ass, and taking names. After just two rings, the person picked up and I said with no emotion whatsoever, “Ethan, this is Emmy. Could you possibly come to the store and personally tell Grady Finnegan to stop loitering in front of my door?” Listening to his response in the affirmative, I hung up the phone.
Boom! That’ll teach you to play games with my heart Grady Finnegan.

Taking a deep breath, I gave myself a moment to muster up my courage before I took a giant leap, in the direction of closure, so I could move on. I turned the knob to the door, pulling it towards me, stepped out my store, and walked directly towards Grady.

He perked up as I walked closer to him, and I took a second to memorize the features of his beautiful face. He looked ragged; deep dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in days. His normally clean shaven face was scruffy with several days of growth. He looked remorseful and what was worse, was the spark was out in his eyes. His normally glistening sapphire eyes now looked like dead puddles of blue.
Why does he look like I felt?
He was the one who did this to us.

I stopped two feet away from him, not trusting myself to get any closer without immediately jumping into his arms. He opened his mouth to speak and I quickly started, “No, you will stand there and listen to what I have to say.” My tone was not friendly. He looked visibly shocked at the force of the words that came out. I stopped for a minute to carefully choose the next words that came out of my mouth. “It took me five years to let someone in again and you made me fall in love with you. But you sure were quick to throw it back in my face.”

“Emmaly-“

“Let me finish,” I barked out. I was about to go momma bear, times ten, “You didn’t just betray me, you also betrayed my son. It was one thing for you to make me fall in love with you, but you made Tucker fall in love with you as well. He is trying his best to be strong for me, so brave and strong, but I can see it in his eyes, that his heart is also broken.” Grady looked down towards the ground before looking back to me, with what appeared to be tears welling in his eyes, but I wasn’t finished. “You were selfish, so now it’s my turn. You had my heart, and you didn’t take care of it. You didn’t just break my heart, you shattered it, and now I’d like it back.” I was on the verge of tears myself, but I was trying my hardest to hold them back until I was in the privacy of my own office. “You have about five minutes to get away from the front of my store before the Sheriff’s Department shows up and removes you for loitering.” I whirled away and rushed back into the store, bypassing an open-mouthed Rose, straight into my office, and burst into tears.

Chapter Thirty

Emmalynne

It was officially one week post-Grady. I’d already been scolded by Toby for counting the days, but I felt like a lonely loser.  I found myself parked in a booth at
Finnegan’s
to watch
The Nation’s Capital
perform.

Tonight was Charlie’s first performance, so Tessa begged me to come along so she didn’t have to sit by herself, since she wasn’t working.

Even though I really wanted to, I couldn’t refuse. Everyone had been there for me during the past week, so it was my turn to do the same.

I made it a point not to drink anything alcoholic tonight because I needed my wits about me and to be on my game, especially if Grady tried to talk to me. I didn’t need anything else clouding my judgment any further, the nearness of Grady did that already.

Come to think of it Tessa wasn’t drinking either and she normally drank like a fish, constantly throwing them back.

“Tess, why aren’t you drinking tonight?”

“Oh, uh, my stomach isn’t feeling very settled.”

Hmm. I was not sure if I bought that, especially since she wasn’t meeting my eyes. I decided to drop it for now, because staring at me from behind the bar was Grady. He utterly took my breath away. It was simply not fair.

I took it, by the way he was watching me, that he had just noticed I was there.

When Tess and I came in, it was Mac behind the counter, and Grady was nowhere in sight. I preferred it that way.

His gaze traveled from my head to my torso, since that’s all that was showing, considering I was sitting down. Even from this distance, I could see the confusion flare in his eyes. I had to quickly look away to keep my body in check.

His gaze did something to me. And to think I believed him when he said he thought I was special. It was all some kind of game to him. With anger coursing through my veins, I decided to focus my attention on our guys setting up on stage.

Toby came out to do his introductions. “Hello everyone!! As you all know, I’m Toby, and we have Brock on guitar,” he said while motioning to Brock, who was at his side. “And Mikey, on the drums.” He threw his thumb back towards Mikey who was perched on his stool. “But I would like to introduce you to our newest member, Charlie Hennings, on bass guitar.” Charlie did a dramatic bow, and Tess and I erupted in screams. “And we are
The Nation’s Capital
.” Now the crowd joined us in our screams, they loved the band almost as much as us. Almost.

The band was on point tonight and Charlie kicked ass. Corbin was good at the bass, but Charlie was freaking outstanding.

Toby had told me earlier in the day that his throat was feeling sore, and you could tell it was bothering him more and more as he continued to sing.

“Ok everybody, I’m done singing for the night,” he said into the microphone, his voice sounding hoarse. “But, if it’s alright with you, we’ll have Emmy come up and sing one last song, how about that?”

The crowd was cheering, but I wasn’t paying attention, as I had my brows furrowed, giving Toby my version of Tessa’s death glare.

Not being one to disappoint, especially when it wasn’t even my band, I reluctantly moved from my seat within the crowd and made my way towards the stage.

Reaching Toby, he pulled me in for a quick hug, and whispered in my ear, “Pick any song you want and make it count.”

He was giving me my chance to show Grady what for. Bless his flamboyant heart.

He wandered off the stage and into my seat next to Tessa.

Looking around the bar and locking eyes with one Grady Finnegan, I knew exactly what I was going to sing.

I relayed my song choice to the guys, who were reluctant at first but then eventually nodded their heads in agreement.

Adjusting the microphone to my level, I took a calming deep breath, looked at the band and gently nodded my head, indicating that I was ready.

Closing my eyes, I let the words of the song wash over me.

I poured all of my emotions out through that song, which seemed to define my life pretty well at the moment.

Kelly Clarkson’s
Cry
performed by
The Nation’s Capital
with me, Emmalynne Morgan, singing, it wasn’t what everyone was used to hearing come from them, but it was freaking epic.

I sung about pretending to be alright with everything that was going on, acting like nothing was wrong, but just wanting it all to be over. 

Seemed fitting to me.

Owning the words to the song, I looked unguardedly at Grady and sang each and every word for him, portraying my hurt and sadness through those words. I was just so over crying all the time.

I hoped to make him realize just exactly what he had lost. He threw our love away. He was the one that I desired, the one that I loved. But who am I to him? Apparently, someone not worth his time or his fidelity. My love was unrequited.

I end on a strong cryyy… The guys and their instruments faded out.

The vibrant lights that showcased the stage dimmed and I just stood there, being rooted in the exact same spot, while the crowd erupted in standing cheers. I had absolutely no reaction and no emotion as I was completely drained.

My sights were zeroed in on an undeserving man, who despite the circumstances, I was madly in love with.
Why did he have to prove me right, that I’m evidently not worthy of love anymore, that I will continue to be alone.

I descended the stairs of the stage, grabbed my purse, and walked straight out of
Finnegan’s
without speaking to anyone. My emotions were extremely raw, and I knew at any moment I would lose my composure.

If I had been paying attention, I would’ve noticed the stray tears sliding down Grady’s face.

Chapter Thirty-One

Emmalynne

Two weeks post--Grady, and yes I was still counting.
Turn the Page
was packed with customers who were here for our Annual Fall Book Sale.

Everyone was working today. I had even enlisted the help of Charlie. Brock and Tessa had something to do and Toby ditched me to drive to Atlanta for something or other’s Department Store Fall Sale.

Traitor.

Charlie was eager to help, even though it was bagging books and baked goods, which I had in abundance, I needed something to do to keep my mind off of Grady, or even to help the occasional customer locate a book. Being thrown into this, he was extremely helpful and took everything in great stride. This was our biggest revenue day of the year, so it was all hands on deck.

Charlie was overly flirty I noticed. Not so much in words, but by brushing up against me every chance he got. I honestly didn’t know what to make of this. I know Grady and I weren’t together long, but this was way too soon.

One of my biggest worries was that I would see Grady. And because I didn’t, I was peeved.

I was sure I was blatantly obvious when scanning the customers, trying to spot his beautiful face.

Miles must’ve noticed because, while ringing up a customer, he said, “if you’re looking for Grady, he’s already been here.”

What?! Whoa!
“When did he come in? I didn’t see him.” I asked.

“He came in while you ran back to scarf down your sandwich. He asked about you. He didn’t look much better than the other day, but at least he had shaved and showered.”