Not Safe for Work (13 page)

“My God.” Rick shuddered. “That poor kid.”

“Seriously. I knew how she felt too.”

“Yeah. Ditto. So what happened?”

“Karen promised her I wouldn’t be upset, and when the three of us sat down to talk, and my daughter was so—” I paused, the memory still choking me up even after all this time. “She was so nervous and scared. This was a kid who didn’t cry for anything, and she was just bawling when she tried to tell me. And I thought, my God, I’ve completely failed these kids if they’re afraid to come to me about this. What kind of parent am I if my kids are genuinely afraid they’ll be kicked out on the street if they come out to me?” I exhaled hard. “Man, you’ve never seen a kid look as shocked as she did when I said, ‘It’s okay. I’m gay too.’” I cleared my throat. “Once she’d calmed down, I explained that I was bisexual, so I understood, and that I’d been afraid to come out at her age for the same reasons, but that she had nothing to be afraid of. And it was like this huge weight came off her shoulders. I mean, you could see it. One conversation, and my kid was back to the way she’d been a year before.”

Rick whistled. “Wow. Poor kid.”

“Yeah, I know. It killed me knowing she’d been bottling that up for so long. So the very next night, we sat down with all three kids and explained to them that I’m bisexual, and what that means. I don’t even know when Brooke came out to them. She might’ve told them before that incident. I really don’t know, but they’ve both accepted that their sister is a lesbian and that I sometimes date men, sometimes date women.”

“Good. Good for them.” He paused. “Do you think you’ll ever get married again?”

“I doubt it. Can’t say it’s worked out all that well for me. I mean, I wouldn’t mind—” I caught myself.

He slid his hand over my thigh. “What?”

I took a breath. “Someday, I wouldn’t mind putting a collar on someone.” I held his gaze. “A long-term Dom/sub relationship. That kind of commitment. But getting married? Probably not.” I paused. “What about you?”

“Don’t know. I’ve never been married, and my last relationship blew up in my face. I’m not opposed to it, I guess. It isn’t like I have as many people to come out to anymore.”

“You’re out?”

“Well, I’m not as firmly closeted as I used to be. Dion has known for years. Everyone else at the company knows. And Mitchell & Forsythe…” He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure Forsythe doesn’t
like
it, but they all know.”

“How’d they find out?”

“They heard Dion and me talking after my ex left, and I guess they put two and two together.”

“Ah, gotcha. What about your family? Do they know?”

“I’m out to my immediate family. My mom says she’s known since I was four. My brother was kind of surprised but didn’t really care. My dad… He wasn’t thrilled. And my stepmother just about hit the roof.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s never really liked me anyway, so go figure.”

“She didn’t like you? Why not?”

Rick scowled. “She was just obsessed with the idea that I was going to do something to her daughters. My stepsisters were teenagers when I was in my twenties, so apparently that meant I was—” He grimaced. “You get the idea.”

I blinked. “You’re joking.”

“Nope. The fucked-up thing is that it got even worse when I came out, because for whatever reason, being gay meant I was more likely to mess with her daughters.” He threw up his hands. “I…I still can’t even fit that into my skull.”

“Jesus,” I muttered into my wineglass.

“Yeah. That whole fiasco was a tipping point for my ex, actually. My father specifically requested that I not bring Keith to my stepsister’s wedding, so I went alone. Keith thought it was a slap in the face to him, I thought it would’ve been a slap in the face to my stepsister if I
had
brought him, and…” He waved his hand.

“Can’t win, can you?”

“Nope.”

“Families. Gotta love ’em.”

“Yeah, really.”

Our eyes met. We both set our wineglasses on the table, and when we settled back against the couch, we were sitting closer than before. I put my arm around his shoulders. His hand slid over my thigh.

“Enough of that bullshit,” he said. “The past is in the past. And I”—he watched his fingertips tracing my inseam—“I want us to enjoy tonight.”

“Me too.” I put my hand over his. “I guess it’s just refreshing to talk about this shit with someone who gets it.”

“That’s true. To be honest, I still feel like I barely know you, but it’s really good to find someone on the same wavelength.”

“It really is. I’m sorry for that interruption in getting to know each other. It went on way too long.”

“No time like the present to pick up where we left off.”

“God, yes.” I brought his hand up and pressed my lips to the middle of his palm. Our eyes met again, and whatever I was about to say—I’d been about to say something, hadn’t I?—evaporated. I let the thought go, because I couldn’t resist moving in for a kiss. A kiss that led to another. And another. And a longer one.

“I’m seeing a trend here,” he said between kisses. “Can’t…can’t be on the same surface as you without—”

“That’s not a complaint, is it?”

A shiver pushed him closer to me. “Not a complaint at all.”

I wasn’t complaining either.

I could’ve sworn this was supposed to be a casual—if, work permitting, somewhat regular—hookup, but that wasn’t how it felt right then. Here on his sofa, wrapped up in his arms and a long, lazy kiss, it didn’t feel casual at all. Less “I’ve been waiting all week for this” and more “I’ve been waiting my whole
life
for this”.

No, it was way too soon for any of that.

“God, if I wasn’t so tired,” I murmured. “I would top the fuck out of you tonight.”

Rick shivered again. “We’ll get there.”

“I know, but I really will make it up to you.”

“Nothing to make up to me. I’m perfectly happy just doing this tonight.”

“Still…” I touched my forehead to his. “You need a Dom. I need a sub. And—”

“And tonight, I just need you.”

All the air rushed out of my lungs. “Me too.”

Our words bounced around in my head for a moment, and my stomach tightened. I broke the kiss. Our eyes met. My heart sped up. Neither of us said a word.

I could’ve sworn we were just hooking up for some kinky action. Not…

I slid my hand around the back of his neck, drew him back in and kissed him, deeper and harder than before. Fatigue weighed my body down, but my pounding heart and hardening cock were much more insistent. Breathlessly, I broke the kiss and started down his neck as I ran my hand up his thigh to his groin.

He alternated between combing his fingers through my hair and kneading my scalp, pressing harder as his cock thickened beneath my hand.

He let his head fall back against the sofa, exposing his neck to my lips.

“I thought you were tired,” he murmured.

“I am.” I started drawing his zipper down. “But you’re not. And I have a feeling you’ve been needing this as much as I have.”

“Yeah, I have.” He gasped as I unbuttoned the top of his pants. “What can I say? You’re addictive.”

“So are you.”

He put a hand over mine. “W-wait.”

I lifted my head. “Hmm?”

“Cooking. We—” He glanced over his shoulder, as if he could see the oven timer from here. “I guess... Yeah. We have a little time before dinner’s ready.”

“Do we?” I raised an eyebrow. “What if I want to take my time?”

Rick gulped.

I slid my hand up the inside of his thigh. “Tell you what. I’ll take you upstairs right now and fuck the hell out of you. And after dinner”—I half shrugged—“we’ll play it by ear.”

“Yes, please.”

“I love it when you ask nicely. Now get upstairs.”

Chapter Eighteen

Between my fatigue and the dinner Rick had cooked—holy fuck, he was as good in the kitchen as he was in the bedroom—neither of us had nearly enough energy to go a second round. Being tired and sluggish did give us an excuse to climb into bed together at the end of the night, though, and as I blinked against the harsh morning light, I was glad I’d stayed over.

I was also beginning to understand why Rick preferred a smaller bed to the triple California king he could have easily fit in this enormous room. Even when we separated during the night, there was only so much space. There was no canyon of cold sheets between us. No sprawling out and not brushing each other’s skin.

As we both slowly stirred, we gravitated back to each other in a series of lethargic motions that consisted of little more than me turning over and Rick sliding an inch or two toward me.
Ahh
. Nothing beat the feeling of being wrapped up in another person before I was even fully conscious. I’d missed waking up beside somebody. I’d missed that sleepy migration back to the middle of the bed, the drowsy mumbles of “morning,” and the careful dance of being affectionate without subjecting the other person to morning breath and killing the mood altogether.

“We should do this more often,” he murmured against my neck.

I kissed the top of his head. “I agree.”

He pressed his lips beneath my jaw. “I’d suggest staying here all day, but
some
of us still have to work today.”

Disappointment pressed down on my chest. “When do you have to go in?”

“Oh, I can get away with ‘telecommuting’ until about eleven. Then I have a meeting with some investors after lunch.”

“Sounds thrilling.”

“You have no idea,” he grumbled. “But there’s no rush right now. Care to join me for a shower?”

No rush, and a shower with him? Twist my arm. “I would love to.”

After we were up and moving, and the coffee was on downstairs, we stepped into the shower. Surprise, surprise—the water had barely touched us before we were wrapped up in each other. We’d just brushed our teeth, giving the kiss a strongly minty flavor, but he still tasted like him, and his kiss woke me up faster than the mint or the coffee ever would.

As hot water rushed over us, I held him closer and touched him all over. Holding him now made me all too aware of how little I’d done so recently. I didn’t feel the need to put him on his knees. I didn’t need to flog him, to growl the commands that turned us both on, to do anything besides simply feel him and taste him. Exhaustion and desperation took the place of my need for domination this time. Forget the long hours and unending work, I was worn out from not having him, and I needed him. I hadn’t realized until now, until my arms were around him beneath the hot water, how much I’d come to need him like this, and how far that need went above and beyond my craving for his submission. There would be time and energy for that later.

For now, I just needed
him
.

Rick broke the kiss. “You’re not making it easy to think about going into work.”

“Then don’t think about it.” I slid my hands down his back, his skin slick and hot beneath my palms. “I’m sure as hell not thinking about work.”

“What
are
you thinking about?”

“Right now? All the things I’m going to do once I can move again.” I pulled him against me, biting my lip when our cocks rubbed together between us. “God, I just want a few nights with you. Even if we never leave the bedroom.”

“That would be heaven,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry I can’t—”

He cut me off with a kiss. “You’re here. That’s all I’m worried about right now. Well and”—he pressed his cock harder against mine—“what to do about
this
.”

“Fuck…”

“But you’re also tired. And so am I.” He kissed the side of my neck. “So I have an idea.”

“Hmm?”

He hesitated. “I don’t want to be, um, out of line.”

I rested my hands on his hips. “I’ll let you know if you are.”

“You’re still worn down after the last few days.” Another soft kiss. “Why don’t we go back in the bedroom, and I’ll give you a massage to help you relax.”

The thought of those hands all over my skin… God, yes.

“And if I decide I want more than a massage?”

“Anything you want.” Cool breath rushed along the side of my neck. “Say the word.” His lips skated across my skin before he lifted his head, met my eyes and whispered, “Anything to make you feel good.”

You’ve already accomplished that mission.

I cradled his face in both hands and kissed him. “We should go back in the bedroom.”

We dried off, and in the bedroom, I lay on my stomach while he searched the nightstand drawer for something. A moment later, he pulled out a small bottle. Ah, massage oil.

“Just in case we decide to do more,” he said as he poured some on his hands, “this stuff
is
condom safe.”

I nodded, letting my unshaven jaw scuff against the pillowcase. “Good.” Not that I saw myself recouping enough energy to fuck him, but anything was possible. He’d already managed to get me hard once. His oiled-up hands on my skin stood a pretty good chance of doing so again, and I was going to find some kind of energy reserve or
something
—naked in his bed without having sex? Not a chance.

Rick set the bottle aside. The mattress shifted a little, and then his warm, slippery hands met my shoulders, and yeah, we were definitely going to have to do something about a hard-on at some point. His hands were even better than I’d anticipated. Smooth, warm…
strong
. I loved the way they glided across my skin, and how he’d carefully work out any tension he found. And, for that matter, created a whole new breed of tension. It was impossible for him to touch me without turning me on, and the more he rubbed, kneaded, massaged my muscles, the more I wanted him.

After a while, he whispered, “May I do more?”

“Yes.” I was too relaxed—and quickly getting way too turned on—to make him explain himself.

“You might be more comfortable with a pillow under your hips.”

Under my—what the hell did he have in mind?

“All right.” I lifted myself up a little, and he handed me a pillow. When I came down, it was definitely more comfortable. I shifted a bit to accommodate my erection, and in doing so, didn’t realize he’d moved too until his lips met the base of my neck.

I gasped. Froze. Goose bumps sprang up all the way down to my toes.

“You all right?” he murmured against my skin.

“Mmhmm.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

Oh, you are so getting fucked this morning. My God, Rick…

He wasn’t in a rush, though. He spent ages kissing the back and sides of my neck. His hand ran up and down my side, over my hip, along my arm, and his body was pressed up against mine, but it was those gentle kisses that held my focus. All the muscles he’d massaged were liquid now, my whole body melting at his touch.

He shifted around again, lifting himself up, and pressed another kiss to the back of my neck. The next was a little lower. Then lower. Still lower.

Kiss by kiss, gaining a fraction of an inch at a time, he followed my spine downward. Nerve endings went crazy. My senses were overloaded, my brain overwhelmed, and if my dick got any harder, I was going to flip over, shove it in his mouth and show him exactly how good he made me feel.

I was so enthralled with what he was doing, it was only when he reached my lower back that I realized what he probably had in mind. And how much I wanted him to.

He nudged my inner thigh, and I parted my legs for him.

And oh God…
Yes
.

He hadn’t been in a hurry, and he didn’t start now—his tongue was as gentle and lazy as his lips had been on my spine. He kneaded my cheeks with his fingers, and even that felt divine. Relaxing, arousing, hot as hell, and if I hadn’t already been turned on beyond belief, the things he did with his mouth would’ve been more than enough to get me hard as a fucking rock. The tip of his tongue circled just right, and I almost lost my mind.

“Jesus,” I moaned, clutching the edge of the mattress. “That feels—” I gasped. “Oh my God.” So turned on. So dizzy. So— “I want you to fuck me. Now.”

Rick stopped, and my breath caught at the sudden absence of his tongue against me. At least until he said, “I’ll get a condom.”

I dug my fingers into the mattress. I tried not to move at all, not when the very act of breathing rubbed my cock against the pillow and nearly made my head explode.

Foil tore, and I glanced over my shoulder. He rolled the condom on, his hands just slightly unsteady.

I settled back on the other pillow, heart pounding.
Hurry up
, I wanted to order him, but I had just enough rational thought left to murmur, “Go slow. It’s been a while.”

“Will do. Do you want it like this?” He ran a gentle hand up my back. “On your stomach?”

I’d been so caught up in wanting and needing him, I hadn’t even thought clearly enough to figure out a position, or how to get into that position, but now that he mentioned it, this would work. Because then I didn’t have to move. And the thought of him inside me now, fucking me into the mattress until we both came…

“Just…just like this.”

“Okay.” The lube bottle clicked. “This might be a little cool.”

“S’okay.” I closed my eyes. He was right—it was cool, but the warmth of his skin and sheer anticipation more than made up for it. As he gently fingered me, I couldn’t tell whether he was taking his time for my benefit or if he was teasing me. All I knew was he spent for-fucking-ever sliding his fingers in and out—first one, then two—and I couldn’t find enough breath to tell him to just fuck me already. And at the same time, I didn’t want him to stop, because his fingers felt amazing.

“Are you ready for—” He paused. “I mean, can I—”

“Fuck me
now.
”

He quickly withdrew his fingers. The lube bottle clicked again, and then he moved over the top of me. This position would be a challenge for him, and that made me grin.

If you want this, Rick, you’re going to work for it
.

One hand pressed into the mattress beside my arm. He was probably using the other to guide himself in. His movements were a little awkward, which I fully expected, but in seconds, the head of his cock was against my ass. There was pressure, and then more, and then—

“
Fuck
,” he breathed, and a heartbeat later, he’d slipped past the tight muscle. A curse came to the tip of my tongue too, but I couldn’t make a sound. He withdrew, then breached me again. And again. God, I could’ve let him do that all day—just shallow strokes across all those billons of nerve endings.

He started working himself in farther. I squeezed my eyes shut as he pushed deeper, and finally managed to groan, “Holy fuck.” Why the hell had I gone so long without bottoming?

“Is this all right?” he asked, breathing hard against my neck.

“It’s perfect. You’re…fuck, you’re doing it perfectly.”

He exhaled, then kissed the top of my shoulder as he sank into me. “Been…been wanting to do this forever.”

“Worth the wait?”

He moaned, burying his face against my neck.

“Answer me,” I said sharply.

“So worth it.” He withdrew again and slid back in. “Love the way you feel.”

“M-me too.” I tried to reach back to touch him, but in this position, all I could do was blindly brush my fingers across his thigh. No. No, I needed to feel him. See him. Kiss him.

“Wait.”

He stopped immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“Can’t…can’t kiss you like this.” I licked my lips. “Let me get on my back.”

Rick pulled out, and he sat back on his heels while I shifted around. The pillow that had been under my hips went under the small of my back, and as soon as I was situated, I gestured for him to get back on top.

He knelt between my legs, one hand on my hip and the other on the base of his cock.

Oh fuck. The view was amazing. Rick’s brow furrowed and his lips tightened with intense concentration as he guided himself in. He watched himself take the first few slow, deep strokes, and the movement of his ab muscles mesmerized me. How the hell did I ever get a man this hot into bed with me?

I pushed myself up on one elbow and grabbed the back of his neck. His strokes fell apart as he let me pull him into a deep, hard kiss, but our lips had barely touched before he’d recovered his rhythm and was fucking me perfectly again. And he was fucking me faster. Harder. He felt…so damned…
good
.

My arms slid off him, and I dropped back onto the bed. “Fuck. D-don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he murmured. “My God, you feel amazing.”

“S-so do you.” I pumped my cock as fast as he fucked me, and my vision was blurring anyway, so I squeezed my eyes shut.

Rick swore under his breath. Then, “Love…love the way you look.”

I forced my eyes open.

Met his gaze.

Had a heartbeat, maybe two, to drink in the sight of him—flushed, sweaty, muscles standing out—as he slammed into me.

And I came.

Rick slowed down a little. He bit his lip, his features pulling tight as if he were halfway between deep concentration and intense pain. “Please let me come,” he moaned. “Please—”

“Come.”

He threw his head back and slammed into me, knocking the breath out of my lungs. He thrust hard a few times, buried himself as deep as he could and shuddered.

Then he sank down on top of me. “Thank you,” he murmured, and kissed beneath my jaw.

As I stroked his hair, I realized exactly why I’d gone so long without bottoming—because it had been ages since I’d been with someone who didn’t take advantage of being on top. Someone who understood that just because I was taking his dick didn’t mean I was giving up control. With Rick, I could be flat on my stomach, relaxed to the edge of consciousness and letting him fuck me, and he was
still
submissive.

On rubbery limbs, we both got up and cleaned ourselves off. Between the sweat, semen and massage oil, we’d probably need another shower. For the moment, though, we just collapsed in his bed.