Not the Man She Thought (23 page)

“Thank you, Monni” Commander Vargas said to the woman, then
glanced at Rade and Laken.  “I thought you might be hungry.”

Laken had been too frightened before to think about, but as
the aroma of freshly baked pastries reached her nose, her stomach growled in
appreciation.  She gave Rade a questioning look.

“You go ahead,” he told her.

Her brow furrowed.  Surely Rade must be as hungry as
she was.  But knowing better than to press him on it, she gave both men a
nod and walked over to where the woman was setting the tray down on one of the
tables.  Though Laken tried to concentrate on what Monni was saying as she
ate, every so often her gaze drifted over to Rade and Commander Vargas. 
They were speaking too softly for her to hear much of what they were saying,
but she thought she heard the words, “Federation,” “attack,” and “New
Ashanti.”  That, along with the tight set of Rade’s jaw, made her frown
deepen.  They were planning something big, she could tell.

When Rade finally came over with Vargas, it was on the tip
of Laken’s tongue to ask him what the men had been talking about, but she
resisted the urge.  Telling herself she would ask him about it when they
got back to his ship, Laken helped herself to another sweet cake.

Finn and Keir arrived to pick them up about an hour and a
half later.  It had taken them a while to slip through the Federation
blockade.  Apparently, the Federation was doing everything they could to
prevent any more ships getting through like the shuttle had done the night
before.  If it weren’t for Laken’s cloaking codes, Finn and Keir would
never have gotten back down to Marlon Prime.

Both men were all smiles as they greeted their captain with
handshakes and back-slaps. While Finn gave Laken a grin and told her it was
good to see her, Keir was more demonstrative, wrapping her in a warm hug. 
Though Keir didn’t see it, that earned him a dark look from Rade, and Laken
couldn’t help but feel a little thrill at the show of possessiveness.

They left Marlon Prime a little while later, with Rade
telling Commander Vargas he’d be in touch.  Laken frowned, but made no
comment as they made their way to the shuttle.  An hour later, she and
Rade were back on his ship, where they were both greeted warmly by the rest of
the crew.

As Laken and Rade filled everyone in on what had happened
since they’d been taken prisoner by the Federation, Kellen and the rest of them
could only shake their heads in wonder, amazed she and Rade had managed to
escape.  Eager to talk to Rade in private, Laken told Dev and Pammay she
would see them later, but turned to find him heading for the steps, Kellen at
his side.

Laken chewed on her lip for a moment, wondering if she
should intercept the two men, but then decided against it.  She could
really use a shower, even if it was of the sonic variety.  She would talk
to Rade later.

Back in her cabin, Laken stripped out of her shirt and
breeches, then took a quick shower.  Since there was no need to dry off
afterward, she put on the dress she’d borrowed from Dev, brushed her hair, then
slipped her feet into her sandals before hurrying out the door.

Laken tried Rade’s cabin first, but when there wasn’t any
answer in reply to her knock, she headed for his ready room instead.  The
door was open and as she drew nearer, she could hear voices coming from the
room.

“...attacking the Federation like this is damn risky,”
Kellen was saying.

“Everything we do is risky, Kellen,” Rade replied.

Her brow furrowing at the words, Laken slowed her steps
until she was standing just off to the side of the door.  If Rade found
her eavesdropping like this, he would be furious.  But she had to know
what they were talking about and if she walked in and demanded to know, Rade
would just sidestep her questions.

“True,” the older man agreed.  “But taking on the
Federation head to head like this isn’t your style, Rade.  We’ve always
worked behind the scenes.  Now, you want to move to the front lines. 
What’s changed?”

Silence.  Then, “Nothing.  I just think it’s time
we took a more active role in the rebellion, that’s all.  And now is a
good chance to strike a decisive blow.”

Kellen let out a heavy sigh.  “If that commander on
Marlon Prime is wrong and New Ashanti isn’t fully on board with this plan, then
we’ll all be left hanging in the breeze.  We’ll all be wiped out. 
You know that, don’t you?”

More silence followed the first officer’s words.  This
time, Laken didn’t wait for Rade to reply.  She had heard enough. 
Lifting her chin, she walked into the room.  Both men looked at her in
surprise.

“You can’t seriously mean to go up against the Federation
like this,” she said to Rade.

His eyes narrowed at her words and he gave her an accusing
look.  “How long were you standing out there listening?”

She folded her arms to regard him defiantly.  He had
changed out of the Federation uniform into tight, leather breeches and a
shirt.  Laken didn’t think she’d ever seen him look more handsome. 
“Long enough to know that what you’re planning is crazy.”

Rade’s jaw tightened at her words, but before he could say
anything, Kellen spoke.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Giving her and Rade a nod, he
left the room.

Laken advanced on Rade.  “This is what you were talking
about with Commander Vargas back on Marlon Prime, wasn’t it?”

He scowled.  “Didn’t anyone ever teach you that
eavesdropping is rude?”

“I wasn’t eavesdropping. Rade, I’m not sure exactly what
you’re planning, but whatever it is, it not only sounds dangerous, but
downright suicidal.”

He lifted a brow.  “I would have thought you’d find it
heroic.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion.  “Heroic?” Abruptly,
the conversation they’d had that morning in the farmer’s barn came back to
her.  “Is that what this is about, you being a hero? Rade, one more small
cargo ship out there fighting the Federation won’t make a difference. 
What you do, smuggling weapons and medical supplies to the rebels, is much more
important.  Please say you won’t do this.”

Rade regarded her for a long moment, his dark eyes
unreadable.  “You needn’t worry. This won’t interfere with your plans to
reunite with your fiancé.”

She blinked.  Her plans to reunite with Mallin? 
She had no intention of going to Mallin now.  Or ever, for that
matter.  Surely Rade must know that.  Before she could say anything,
however, Keir appeared in the doorway.

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” he said, hands on either
side of the door as he leaned casually into the room.

Rade glanced at the other man.  “I need you to ready
the shuttle for departure. Laken is leaving.”

Laken blinked.  She didn’t know which of them was more
surprised by that announcement, Keir or her.

“Leaving?” Keir said, a frown creasing his brow.  “But
I thought...”

“You thought what?” Rade demanded.

The other man flushed beneath his tan.  “Nothing,
Captain.” He glanced at Laken.  “I’ll wait for you down by the shuttle.”

A heavy silence descended on the room after Keir had
left.  Laken just stood there, too shocked to do anything else.  How
could Rade honestly expect her to leave after all they had shared? Then again,
Rade really wasn’t giving her a choice, was he?  He wanted her off his
ship and out of his life.  That should tell her everything she needed to
know about how he felt. 

She’d been so stupid.  She had actually let herself
believe he cared for her as much as she did for him.  But she had been
nothing more than an amusement.  He didn’t care about her at all.  He
never had.

Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back.  She
wouldn’t cry in front of him.

As if oblivious to her pain, Rade turned his back on her to
study the holo-map on the table.  “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t keep
Keir waiting. We have a lot to do and I need him back on the ship.”

Laken swallowed hard as she stared at Rade’s broad
back.  That was it?  He wasn’t even going to say goodbye?  Her
heart ached so much right then that she thought it might actually break in
two.  Tears blurring her vision, she turned and ran from the room.

She didn’t know how she made it back to her cabin without
completely falling apart.  Once inside, she leaned back against the door,
tears streaming down her cheeks.  How could she leave Rade when she loved
him so much?

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door that made her jump.

“Laken?  It’s Dev.  Are you in there?”

Laken closed her eyes, not trusting herself to speak. 
She didn’t want to see the other girl right now.  She didn’t want to see
anyone.  But how could she leave without saying goodbye to her friends?

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and stepped away from
the door.  “Come in.”

At her words, the door slid open and a worried looking Dev
walked into the cabin, Pammay right behind her.

“Keir said you’re leaving,” Dev said.  “That’s not
true, is it?”

Laken could only nod miserably.

The dark-haired woman looked at her in disbelief.  “But
I thought you and the captain...”

Laken gave her a rueful smile.  “So did I.”

Dev frowned.  “Then why are you leaving?”

Laken shrugged and looked away.  It would be easier to
lie, she supposed, but the two women were her friends, and right then she
needed them.  “Because Rade doesn’t want me.”

“Doesn’t want you?” Pammay’s voice was incredulous. 
“The man loves you.”

Laken gave her a sad smile.  “No.  He doesn’t.
Which is just as well, really.  I have a fiancé waiting for me down on New
Ashanti.  It’s past time I get back to him.”

The other women shared a look at that, but said
nothing. 

Laken took a deep breath.  “Keir is waiting for me at
the shuttle, so I should get going.”

But instead of moving toward the door, she just stood there,
looking around the small cabin that had been her home for the past week. 
Had she really only been on the ship a week?  It seemed like she’d lived a
whole lifetime in that short span of time.

Dev cleared her throat.  “We’ll walk down with you.”

They were silent as they made their way down to the ship’s
hold.  Laken had been hoping the rest of the crew might be around so that
she could say goodbye, but the hallways were deserted. Which, she discovered a
few minutes later, was because the entire crew had assembled in the hold to see
her off.  Everyone except Rade, that is.  Swallowing hard, Laken
slowly made her way down the steps.

Jorn and Kamran were the first to bid her goodbye, followed
by Vance and Finn, then Kellen.  Each of them embraced her in a warm hug,
though of all of them, the older man’s expression was the saddest.

“We will miss you, Laken,” he said quietly.

Laken nodded.  “I’ll miss all of you, too. Tell
Rade...tell him, thank you for...for everything.”

The older man gave her a small smile.  “I will.”

With a sigh, Laken turned to Dev and Pammay.  The blonde
woman had tears in her eyes, and Laken had to fight hard to keep from crying,
too.  Hugging both women, Laken thanked Dev for letting her borrow the
dress she was wearing, then turned to Keir, who was waiting by the shuttle.

“Laken, wait!”

Her heart leaped into her throat at the sound of Rade’s
voice, and she whirled around to see him jogging down the steps of the cargo
hold.  Her pulse raced as she waited for him to reach her.  He was
going to ask her to stay, she thought wildly, and could barely suppress the
urge to throw herself into his arms. When Rade finally came to a stop in front
of her, though, he didn’t pull her into his arms and kiss her until she was
breathless like she hoped he would do, but simply held out her ident-card.

“You’ll need this,” was all he said.

Laken stared down stupidly at the card in his hand for a
moment.  Rade had taken it from her that first day when Finn had dragged
her into his office.  She’d forgotten all about it.  Blinking back
tears, she slowly reached out to take it.

“Thank you,” she said in a small voice.

He cleared his throat.  “If things don’t work out with
your fiancé, or you need anything while you’re on New Ashanti, there’s a
salvage captain who owes me a favor.  His name is Kavan Durshay. 
Just tell him I sent you.”

She nodded, not knowing what to say.

“Listen,” he said, clearing his throat again.  “Take
care of yourself, okay?”

Laken swallowed hard.  “You, too.”

Rade gazed down at her for a long moment as if he wanted to
say something else to her, and it took everything in Laken not to throw herself
into his arms and confess her feelings for him.

Just when she thought she might actually give in to the
urge, Rade gave her a nod, then turned on his heel and started for the
steps.  Laken watched him go, her eyes following his tall,
broad-shouldered form until he disappeared down a side hallway.  Blinking
back fresh tears, she turned and boarded the shuttle.