I raise my head and try to focus on his eyes, but the sharpness of his jaw does nothing to hide how mad he appears. “They can’t, right? You don’t let other men touch you, do you?” He starts circling my opening with one finger. So light it’s barely there, but with just enough pressure to make me want more, to want it all.
“No, they’re not supposed to.” The words leave my mouth in one breath.
“Do they try?” he grits out.
“Sometimes.”
“No more,” he growls. “You’re done there.” He steps back and I open my mouth to speak, but before any words come out, he’s back, and his mouth is on mine.
The only way I can describe what’s happening is that he’s devouring me. Lips, tongue, teeth. His hardness is rubbing against my stomach, and I reach down to touch him. My hand is about a millimeter away when he abruptly pulls his head back and reaches over to shut off the water.
“Not in here. Not like this,” he says and steps out and returns a second later with a towel.
I know he has a protective side, and I like that about him, but how is he going to tell me I can’t work there anymore? I need the money. Trust me, if I could quit, I would.
With a towel wrapped under my arms and one around his waist, we walk to the bedroom. I sit on the end of the bed, and he locks my door before stalking toward me.
“Sam, I can’t quit.”
His face is still set hard. “You can. And you will. I can’t stand the thought of you being there. I said I want this with you, and fuck, woman, I can’t imagine going another day without knowing you’re mine. And part of being mine means that no man will ever get to see you like that, ever again.”
17
Sam
I DON’T GIVE COURTNEY a chance to respond because I can’t keep my mouth from hers for another second. I drop my towel and loosen the one under her arms. Her flesh fills with goosebumps, and she lays on her back as I crawl on top of her. I grab my dick and run it through her wet folds a couple of times then slowly press inside of her, both of us moaning until I’m fully seated.
I sit up and she wraps her legs around my waist. “Tell me,” I say and pull out, leaving just the tip inside.
“What?” She writhes underneath me.
“Tell me you’ll quit.” I slam back inside and grit my teeth together.
She gasps and whines, “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I need the money.” Her eyes fill with tears, and I lean back down, resting my forearms on either side of her head.
“No, you don’t. I have all the money you’ve given me for rent in an account. I don’t need it. Use that to put toward your hospital bills.”
She shakes her head. “No. That’s too much.”
I can’t stay still anymore so I circle my hips a couple times. “You’re not paying me rent anymore, either. You’re using that money to put toward the hospital bill, too. Then when it’s paid off, you can do whatever you want. But my woman will not work at a strip club, and she will not pay me rent.” I would pay off the whole damn thing for her, but there’s no way she’d accept that. This is going to be a big enough hurdle for her to jump over. She’s used to being independent, and I respect the hell out of her for it, but it’s time she gets to share her burden with someone—me.
A slice of frustration crosses her face, and she again shakes her head. “I can’t accept that,” she whispers.
“Courtney. I . . .” I rest my forehead on hers for a moment, trying to regain my thoughts. “You’ve broken the cement that’s surrounded me for almost ten years. And there is nothing I can give you to repay you for that. I’m not trying to buy you. But I want to be with you so damn bad and . . .”
“I want to be with you, too.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “But it’s too much.”
“No. It’s not enough. I can never give you enough. But this, taking that stress away, I can do that. Please, baby, let me do this for you.”
A tear rolls out of her eye, and I wipe it away. I wish I could take all of her tears away.
“Sam.” That’s all she says and stares at me. I see the wheels turning in her head but don’t want to push her, so I give her some time, and slowly move in and out of her. Sweat starts to form on my back, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold off.
She sits up and rolls us over then slams her mouth to mine. She’s still wrapped around my dick, and it’s taking every ounce of strength I have to let her have this.
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Yes. I’m positive.”
“This means you’re all in, right?”
“One hundred percent.” I smile and mean it. Christ, do I mean it.
“Then, okay. I’ll quit.”
Thank God. “That makes me very happy.”
She giggles, and right along with my dick, my fucking heart expands. “Me, too.”
“Wanna know what would make me even happier?”
“What?”
“You riding me.”
She taps her lips and squints her eyes. “Hmm . . .”
“Babe, fuckin’ ride me.” I thrust up, and she throws her hands on my chest to keep from falling.
“Okay, Sam.”
* * *
The sun wakes me up, and I trace the curve of Courtney’s waist, holding in a laugh when she reaches back and tries to hit my hand away.
I do it again, and she rolls to her side, facing me. “Stop it,” she groans and opens her eyes.
Damn, I could get used to waking up with her in the morning. “Stop what?”
“You’re tickling me. And it’s early.”
“I know.” I lean down and kiss her plump lips. “But I need to know if you want me to leave.”
She sits up. “Why?”
“Because of Ben. Not sure if you’re ready to tell him about us.”
She reaches over and grabs my hand. “That is one of the reasons you make it so easy to love you.”
I stare at her, not sure I heard correctly. The last time someone told me they loved me was Izzy, and that was a lie. Before her, it was my grandparents . . . actually they were the only ones.
“I . . .”
“Shh.” She kisses the palm of my hand and places it on her chest. “I don’t expect you to say it back, but just know that I do. I love that you always think of Ben, that you put him first. You have no idea how much it means to me. But to answer your question. No. I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay.”
I didn’t think I would feel as relieved as I do, knowing that she’s putting her faith in me to not hurt her or Ben. I do love her. And Ben. I love both of them more than I ever thought I was able to. But I can’t bring myself say it. “That means a lot to me.” I cringe at the lame words. “I. Fuck, you know how I feel about you, right?”
“I do.” She smiles.
I was so caught up in everything last night, and as soon as we were done, we crawled under the covers and passed out. “I didn’t use a condom last night.”
“It’s okay, I’m on the pill. And I trust you.”
I’m not sure if hearing her say that she trusts me means more than hearing her say I love you, but holy shit, it’s awesome.
“Good, because you feel fucking phenomenal.”
“But I will say,” she crawls over me and straddles my stomach, “that getting me to agree to quit X with your dick inside me was not fair.”
“I think it was completely fair.” I run my hands up and down her thighs.
“You’re a sneaky man, Sam. But I didn’t get the chance to tell you my condition.”
Fuck.
I suddenly feel nauseous and lick my lips. “What conditions?”
“Condition. It’s only one. But it’s a deal breaker. If you don’t agree to it, I have no choice but to renege my agreement.”
I let go of her legs and grab the sheets and squeeze them. Then swallow loudly, as her eyes follow my Adam’s apple. “Okay?”
“You let me help you with your paperwork.”
A rush of air leaves my mouth, and I laugh. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“Deal.” Lord knows I could use all the help I can get in that department. And working with her is just another excuse to spend more time with her, maybe bend her over my workbench, so she won’t hear an argument out of me.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I flip us over and frame her beautiful face with my hands. “That is just one of the reasons I fell in love with you.” I have no hesitation now. I want her to know. I want her to understand how serious I am.
Her face softens, and she rests a hand on my cheek. “Sam.”
“You are the most unselfish person I know, and trust me, I grew up with nothing but the opposite. To know that you’re mine. You.” I kiss her again because I can. “A beautiful, smart, funny, caring, independent woman who wants to be with
me.
It seems unreal, Courtney. I’m a selfish prick; at least, I used to be until you came along and reminded me what it felt like to have someone care about me. And Ben,” I laugh, “that kid makes me want to be a better man, be someone he can look up to. I never had that, and I want to be more than good for him. The fact that you’re letting me try to be that man is another reason.”
“You are a good man, Sam. We’re lucky you want us.”
“I do. And I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re both happy.”
“Mom!” Ben yells from outside her room.
We both laugh, and she leans up to kiss my cheek. “You make me happy, make us happy.” Then she crawls out from under me and yells, “We’ll be right down. Go turn on the TV.”
“Okay!” His laughter filters through the door before fading away as he runs downstairs.
“Is he always this happy in the morning?”
I put on my clothes from yesterday while she digs through her drawers and take in the calmness of the situation. We’re not rushing to hide anything from Ben, and it feels awesome.
“No.” She laughs. “Not usually. But I’m not complaining.”
She goes to the bathroom first, and I meet them in the kitchen, where in the few minutes I was upstairs after her, panic has ensued.
“You can’t keep doing this, Benjamin.”
“Sorry, Mom. I forgot,” he says shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth from his bowl. A much smaller bowl than I poured him last time. Noted.
“Ugh. Give me a minute to go downstairs and see if I have the stuff.”
She runs away, and I sit next to him at the table. “Hey, buddy. What’s going on?”
“I forgot my homework.”
Shit, I didn’t even think to ask him last night. “You’re in kindergarten, right?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“You have homework in kindergarten?” I pick up the instructions. Not hard at all, just cut a cereal box to the pattern so it can hold their books at school, and wrap it with something.
The door to the basement slams and Courtney reappears, disheveled and out of breath. “Yes, he has homework. And he’s supposed to tell me or his babysitter. Usually Mona or whoever checks his folder, and I forgot to tell you, so it’s not really his fault. But it kind of is because he should know to check it every night; now we have to put together a cereal box book holder wrapped in wrapping paper, I need to make his lunch, and he has to get dressed, in . . .” she turns to looks at the clock on the stove. “Twenty minutes! Did my alarm not go off or what? Crap!”
I laugh and get up to wrap my arms around her. She turns and opens her mouth, I’m sure to tell me it’s not funny, but I silence her with a light kiss. “Another reason I love you. You talk in never-ending sentences when you get stressed out. Take care of his lunch; I’ll work on the cereal box.”
“But-”
“Stop. I’m all in, remember? So that means running around with you like crazy in the morning to get Ben to school on time so you can get to work on time.”
Her eyes soften. “Okay.”
She leans up and gives me a quick kiss before running upstairs. I grab the box from the cereal he’s eating and a pair of scissors. Without measuring, I cut the cardboard and get up to rummage through her drawers for tape. When I sit back down, I eye how much wrapping paper I’ll need then cut the square.
“Did you kiss mommy?”
I slam the scissors shut and nick my finger. “Shi-crap! Uhh . . .” Where in the hell is Courtney? “Yeah, buddy. Is that okay?”
He shrugs. “Yup.”
She comes back in the kitchen with Ben’s clothes and puts his clean socks on while he’s still eating. “Hurry up and finish. Then go brush your teeth and hurry back down so I can finish getting you dressed.” Like a torpedo, she goes to the fridge and whips together a lunch before he even finishes eating.
I sit back and watch the chaos. After a couple of minutes, he pushes away and goes upstairs.
“So, do I finish or is he supposed to help me?”
“He’s supposed to help, but I don’t care. Just do it.”
“Okay.” I laugh at how rushed she is, when it’s only been like seven minutes. We still have thirteen, and to finish this box will take me another two, so I decide to wait so Ben can help me.
She disappears, and a few minutes later, she returns dressed for work with Ben. She helps him get dressed, and I call him over to tape the wrapping paper inside the box. With two minutes to spare, I walk them to her car and give Ben a fist bump and her a kiss, before standing in the driveway with a smile, watching her car until it fades away.
* * *
I pull the phone away from my ear and bang my head on the steering wheel a couple of times. After I blow out a deep breath, I put it back. “Woman. Stop. I said I want to, so just pick. Mexican or Italian.” I’ve been arguing with Courtney for the past five minutes about me doing too much for her and Ben. All I did was call her and ask what she wanted to eat. It’s food. Jesus.
“You don’t have to-”
“Fine. I’m picking. It’s Italian because you’re gonna need the carbs.”
“What?”
“I haven’t seen you since this morning, and all this arguing is wasting time I could be spending with you guys. Instead, I’m sitting in my truck outside my last job arguing over what kind of fucking food you want to eat. I don’t plan on letting you get off that easy tonight. Pun intended. I’ll be there in like forty minutes.”
I hang up and toss my phone in the passenger seat and laugh. She drives me fucking crazy. Too damn independent. She’s gotta get over that shit. My phone rings, and I pick it up seeing her name flash across the screen.
“Yeah?”
“Are you mad at me?” Her voice is small. Now I feel like shit.