Nothing Like the First Time (18 page)

“Of course. I’m only a text or a phone call away,” she reminded me before calling herself a cab home.

“Thanks, Jodie,” I said and hugged her to me. “Thank you for today and for being my best friend. I promise I’ll call when I feel like company.”

“What are you going to do about work?”

“I’ll be in for my shifts. I have a couple of pieces due for the local paper, too, so I have plenty to keep me occupied.”

“Okay.”

She pulled me into my second bear hug of the day and I felt the ghost of a smile pass across my lips as she held me in case I broke.

Once the cab had picked her up, I got changed into my Betty Boop onesie and sat in the snug—a small room in the middle of the house where I had a TV and a large sofa—where I chose a DVD to put on and poured myself a glass of wine.

I glanced down at my engagement ring. If he was really gone, I’d have to take it off eventually—but maybe I really was worrying over nothing, it had only been 24 hours, after all.

I watched
Pretty in Pink
, hoping a fix of Andrew McCarthy would help, and drank another couple glasses of wine. I went to bed after the film, and though I didn’t fall asleep straight away, I didn’t get up and pace like I had the previous night.

Upon waking in the morning, I reminded myself that there was life after Grey the first time he left and there would be again if he was gone now. But I
also decided to give him some space—if that was what he needed, constant texting from me would not be received well.

Over the next two weeks, I went into work and wrote articles for the paper—a pretty normal routine—normal was what I needed great doses of right now. I even let
Jodie drag me to Sinners one night when Matt was working. We danced and drank cocktails, but nothing we did had completely taken my mind of the case of my missing fiancé.

On the Monday morning of the third week, my phone rang while I was still asleep. I reached over to my nightstand to retrieve my phone and answered it without even glancing at the caller ID.

“Hey, Carls, sorry. Did I wake you?”

The sound of that voice had me awake and alert within seconds.

“Yes,” I replied a little curtly.

“Sorry. Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” I wasn’t going to make it easy on him.

“I mean really talk. I know it’s been a couple of weeks and I really should’ve made contact before now, but please
, Carls, hear me out?” I could detect sadness in his voice.

“I’m listening.”

“Oh, Carls, I know you’re mad at me. I would be, too. I owe you an explanation, I owe you more than that. Can I come round?”

I cleared my throat before speaking again.

“I’m busy this morning. I’m busy for the next couple of days, actually. Maybe we can talk in a few days.”

I heard Grey sigh on the other end of the line.

I wasn’t really busy, but I wanted to make him sweat and to see how sorry he really was.

“Carls
.” He sighed and I could imagine him scrubbing his hand over his face the way he does when he’s frustrated. He didn’t have a right to be frustrated when it was his own doing that caused this situation. I was getting antsy and wanted to get off the phone.

“I can say I’m sorry and I am, I really am. But words won’t make up for the last couple weeks of my absence—I know that. I love you
, Carly Summers, and have never stopped, not since we first met. Please, let me come round and explain face to face, it’s not really something I feel comfortable doing on the phone.”

“Well
, I have a little time at lunch time today, I guess.”

“Great. What time and where?”

“Noon. My house.”

“Okay. Thank you
, Carls. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to convince you to forgive me.”

“See you then.”
I hung up before he could respond.

Now I had a few hours to myself before he turned up. I got out of bed and walked to my en-suite bathroom. I turned the shower on and sent
Jodie a quick text.

Grey finally made contact
. He’s coming round. I’m not going to make it easy on him. C xx

I got an immediate reply.

Good for you girl. Hey you should dress up nice, show him what he’s been missing out on!

I had to smile to myself. That was Jodie all over.

I should cover up like a nun, that’d serve him right. Why give him a peek of what he’s missing?

I got into the shower and stood there, letting the water beat against my skin. Jodie’s talk of dressing to show Grey what he was missing had got me thinking about what I had been missing. Not only was Grey the man I loved with all my heart, he was the man that got my blood pumping through my veins. Sex with Grey was indescribable. He made me feel like I was on fire. I felt alive and incredibly sexy beneath his gentle touch.

As I washed my hair, I could almost feel Grey’s hands running through my hair and lathering the shampoo into it for me. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my skin as he traced kisses along my collar bone and up the side of my neck, finally to my lips—I could taste the combination of things that made Grey unique as he plunged his tongue inside my mouth, our tongues tangling and tasting each other.

Washing my body, I felt his hands doing the work for me before rinsing away all the soap and licking a trail from one taut nipple to the other. I could feel the warmth pool in my belly as he teased my nipples, flicking his tongue across one then the other.

My eyes were closed and my breathing labored as I stood underneath the shower, letting it wash away the soap and the memories.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy white towel around me. I wrapped another around my hair and grabbed my phone before making my way back into my bedroom.

At least show him a little of that fabulous cleavage of yours.

I laughed at that message and threw my phone on the bed as I dried myself and decided what to wear.

I ended up doing as
Jodie suggested. I put on my ‘butt-hugging’ jeans as Grey had called them, then I pulled a top from its hanger. I looked at the top in my hands and decided that its form-fitting, figure-hugging material was just right to show Grey what he was missing but also to look like I hadn’t made an effort especially for him.

Noon came and the doorbell rang. I opened it to see a sorrowful Grey look up at me. He took me in from head to toe and gave a small smile of appreciation. His eyes were alight with lust but his face regained its serious composure as he walked in.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” I asked as I put the coffee maker on for myself.

“That would be great.”

I looked back at him as I waited for the water to be ready. He looked like he hadn’t slept for a month. His clothes were tidy and his overall appearance gave nothing away—but the look in his eyes told me another story.

“You look…” he trailed off.

“You look tired,” I replied as I passed him a mug of coffee.

“I am.”

I walked into the lounge and Grey followed me, taking a seat on the sofa next to me.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” I asked quietly as I looked him over.

“It’s a long story,” he started.

“We have time.”

“Okay. I don’t know where to start. There’s this girl…” he trailed off as he saw the look of hurt in my eyes.

“You’ve found someone else?” I was unable to hide the raw pain in my voice.

“No!” he exclaimed as he took my hand in his. “She was someone I dated in the past. While we were apart, I dated a couple of women but nothing lasted very long because I could never disguise that I wasn’t in love with them.”

“Okay. So what about her?”

“Well, she resurfaced after finding me on Facebook.”

“Oh.”

“She’s got a child. He’s four years old. She claims he’s mine.”

Chapter Thirteen

I hadn’t seen that coming. Of all the things I had thought over the previous two weeks, a child was one thing that hadn’t even entered my mind.

“Is he? Yours, I mean.”

“I don’t know. Selena claims he is, but I’ve told her I want a DNA test. I asked her why, if he’s four, she hadn’t been in contact before now. She said that she hadn’t wanted me in his life. She’d found someone else when she was pregnant and he took on a single pregnant woman and when the baby was born, they were a family. She said they were happy and everything was good until Kai got sick. He’s got leukemia.”

“Oh,” was my only response. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Grey had a potential son and he had leukemia. That’s an awful lot to process.

“Yeah. Turns out Kai needs a bone marrow transplant. Obviously Selena and her partner were tested as possible matches, as were their families. She said they tested just about everyone they can
think of, but then as they had no matches, she had to contact me.”

“Oh
.” Wow, my responses today were useful.

“I’m wai
ting for the results now.”

“The DNA or bone marrow?”

“Both,” he said as he finished his coffee and turned to look directly into my eyes.

“I haven’t been able to take it all in
, Carls. I’m sorry I’ve held you at a distance. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But Grey, I could have been there for you. You know how much I love you
, and no matter what, I’m here. What happens if you’re his father and a match for the transplant?”

“If I’m his
father, Selena still doesn’t want me in his life, so I have to respect her wishes. If I’m a match, they’ll take some of my bone marrow and give it to Kai.”

“Where are they?”

“Staying at a hotel in town. Selena contacted me on Facebook telling me I was a father. She told me that Kai was sick and therefore they needed to know where I was so I could help out. I was reluctant to tell her where I lived. Not because I wouldn’t help out if I was the father, but because I was afraid. Afraid of being a father, afraid of having a sick son, afraid what it would mean for you and me.”

“Well
, whatever the results and whatever happens, I’m here for you. Remember that, okay? I love you wholly and unconditionally. That means that I’m here to tackle any obstacle with you. I won’t walk away from you—you will never lose me. Okay?”

I reached out to him and he curled up in the safety of my embrace.

“I love you, Carls.”

They were the last words out of Grey’s mouth before I heard a soft snoring.

I held the man I loved while he slept, possibly for the first time in days, if his state was anything to go by. I took the throw blanket from the back of the sofa and wrapped it around him. Adjusting to a slightly more comfortable position, I drifted to sleep with Grey in my arms.

***

A short while later, I woke with Grey still lying next to me on the sofa. As he slept, I crept into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. While I was in the kitchen, I looked at what I had in the cupboards to see what I could fix Grey to eat.

As I
puttered about quietly fixing up a simple meal of roasted salmon and creamed leeks, I wondered what would happen next. The immediate future was one of uncertainty. The wedding plans would have to be put on hold, but I would do anything to alleviate Grey’s worries.

I walked into the
living room and put a mug of coffee on the table for Grey. I looked down at him, his face relaxed in sleep—there were no worry lines, he looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. I knelt next to the sofa and ran my fingers through his hair, inhaling his scent. There wasn’t anything in this world I wouldn’t do for this man. Not one thing.

He stirred and I sat down on the floor
, waiting for him to wake.

Once he was awake and sat upright, he noticed the coffee and offered a small smile of thanks.

“Take a shower, get into your pajama bottoms and a fresh t-shirt, and dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes.”

“Thanks
, Carls.”

“No problem, it’s only something simple.”

“I don’t mean for cooking. I mean for everything. You’re my girl and I should’ve known I could come to you with this.”

I took his hand in mine and looked up into his beautiful chocolate
eyes.

“Hush now, let’s not talk about that. You’ve told me now
, and what’s important is where we go from here.”

“You’re the most amazing woman in the world. How did I get so lucky?”

I had no answer to that. It was more a question of how I had been lucky enough to end up with him.

“I’ll just go and see to the dinner, you go and get showered.”

“Thanks. I won’t be long. Something smells good.”

“It’s roasted salmon on a bed of creamed leeks.”

The sound of Grey’s stomach rumbling was answer enough as he finished his coffee and made his way to the shower.

“I love you
, Carls,” he said as he reached the foot of the stairs.

“I love you too
, Grey.”

I went into the kitchen to check on the salmon
and cream the leeks.

**
*

“That was great, Carls. Thank you. I’ll load the dishwasher.”

“No
, you won’t, leave it to me.”

“I’m not letting you do everything.”

“You’ll do as you’re told,” I said as I placed a chaste kiss on his lips and retrieved his plate from his lap.

Once the dishwasher was loaded, I poured
two small glasses of wine and re-entered the living room.

“Thanks
, babe,” Grey said as he took our wine and placed it on the table next to him.

I snuggled into his side and picked up the TV remote. There wasn’t really anything on, but some good food and mindless TV would have to be Grey’s salvation tonight. Tomorrow we could go back to the real world and talk about real things.

I found an episode of
Grey’s Anatomy
that I hadn’t watched. I had started watching the program purely because Patrick Dempsey was in it but it turned out to be one of my favorite programs. Sometimes it’s better to get lost in other people’s problems than those we face in reality. You could always count on
Grey’s Anatomy
to have some good old drama—Christina and Owen were going through some particularly emotional stuff right now.

Grey and I watched TV until about 11 and then turned in for the night. We went up to my room and I went to my en-suite to brush my teeth. Grey joined
me at the sink and once we had both brushed and flossed, we curled up together under my duvet.

I lay on my side facing Grey and looked into his beautiful gaze.
His hand came up and stroked my face, brushing aside a stray lock of my brown hair.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world and I
’m so lucky to have you as a fiancée. I can’t wait for the day I can call you my wife.”

“I can’t wait for the day I can call you my husband,” I replied as I snuggled in closer.

“I still can’t believe after all these years, you aren’t married to someone else. I keep thinking that I’ll wake up and it will all have been a dream.”

“I can pinch you to give you a reality check if you like,” I joked.

“I think I’d rather the dream last as long as possible, if that’s okay with you,” he said as he leaned in to kiss me.

At first the kiss was tentativ
e, but soon Grey relaxed into it and I felt the tension melt away from his muscles as I kissed him more fervently.

I pulled back
, a little breathless, and looked at my fiancé. I could see a war going on in his eyes. He wanted me, yet he was also desperately tired. It would be selfish of me to try and instigate more just because it had been a couple of weeks and I had missed him. I kissed him once more, just a short sweet kiss, then whispered good night.

“Good
night, Carls. I love you.”

“Love you
, too. Sleep well,” I said as I turned over and nestled myself in his embrace.

Sleep was a long time coming for me because my mind ticked over what Grey had told me earlier.
I hadn’t had time to think on it at the time, but as soon as Grey’s breathing evened out into sleep, my thoughts resurfaced and refused to let me rest.

***

The next morning I had a shift at Jim’s, so I left a note for Grey. I’d just got into work when I got a text from him.

Can I take you out for lunch after your shift? Not Jim’s, somewhere a little more private?

G xx

I smiled to myself. Hopefully, together, we could face anything head on and win.

Of course. See you at 1pm. C xx

I put my phone on silent and walked into the office to put my things away in my locker and tie on an apron.

“Morning, Carly,” Jim said from behind me.

“Morning
, Jim.”

“
Jodie called in sick, so Khelsey is covering her shift.”

“Oh, okay, thanks for letting me know.”

I quickly took out my phone and tapped out a message to Jodie, telling her to get better soon. As soon as that was done, I tied my hair back into a ponytail and walked out into the restaurant. We weren’t too busy, the lunch shift was always busier, but there were enough customers to take my mind off Grey and his worries.

As I was bussing my final table of the day, Grey walked in. He was talking on the phone as he entered Jim’s.

“Yes, Mother, I’m fine. Stop worrying. See you later,” he said before hanging up.

“Afternoon
, babe,” I said as I walked up and kissed him on the cheek.

“Good afternoon
.”

“I won’t be a minute, I’ll just collect my bag and put away my apron.”

“Okay,” he sounded a little happier than he had last night. If I was to guess, I would say that was because he had unburdened himself by finally telling me what was going on.

I grabbed my things from my locker, shook my hair out of its ponytail, ran a comb through it
, and took off my apron.

“See you on Thursday
, Jim,” I said to my boss as he was frantically looking round the office for something.

“What? Oh… yes… sorry
, Carly, see you Thursday,” he replied.

“Anything you need help with before I go
, Jim?”

“No need, I’ll find it in a minute, I’m sure.”

“Find what? If I knew what you were searching for, I might know where to find it.”

“Oh
, just the sample of the new menu from the printers. They need me to sign off on it before they print them.”

“New menu? Are we changing what we serve?”

“A little, nothing to worry yourself about. We’ve added a couple of new dishes.”

“First I’ve heard of it
, Jim.”

“Yes
, well, I was going to tell you and the others but haven’t really had the chance. It’s been chaos for me this last few days.”

“Okay
, well, I’m sure we can handle things. A couple of extra dishes is nothing to worry about.”

“No
, but the new menu design is. Look, I was going to tell you all together, but I guess I should really tell you now I’ve opened my mouth.”

“Go on,” I urged as I pulled out the chair opposite him.

“Well, there’s a new restaurant opening up not far from here. I wasn’t supposed to know but I know a lad working on the site and he let it slip, thought it only fair to tell me.”

“New restaurant? Where? Are we in danger of losing custom to them?”

“Well, that’s just the thing, I don’t really know what they’ll be serving. I don’t know what type of restaurant, Max didn’t say—just said that it was a restaurant and we’d have competition on our hands.”

“Oh right, well, what’s the new menu
like? Surely our regulars will remain loyal?”

“I just wanted to add a few things in that we don’t already serve. You know, just in case.”

“Oh seriously, Jim, if we don’t already serve it, it means we don’t need to.”

“Well
, that may be the case, Carly, but I really need to hedge my bets. Now if I could just find the menu…” he trailed off as he continued opening drawers and rifling through.