The words
I love you
almost burst out of her mouth, and tears had her vision blurred. She’d never felt so treasured, not in her entire lifetime.
“Don’t go,” Su-Lin said as he tumbled away from her, and she reached for him, her fingers scraping a sinewy thigh.
“Time for the oil, darlin’. I’m not going anywhere. Today, I make you mine.”
“Why do you look like that?” She rolled over and propped her chin in her hands.
“Like what?” He stalked over to the dresser and picked up two of the vials of oil.
“Sad and serious.” She wriggled her toes.
Tumbling the jars between his hands, he met her eyes, ambled closer, and sat on the mattress. “I’m afraid you’re going to regret this decision.”
Sitting on her haunches, she laid her palms on his hard pectorals, looked right into his eyes, and whispered, “What do I have to say to convince you I won’t?”
Closing her eyes, she leaned forward and kissed him, sliding her tongue deep inside his mouth, tasting the faint hint of peppermint mingled with smoke. In her mind, she surrendered, letting the love she’d repressed from the moment she’d seen him take over.
He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. “My turn to massage you, darlin’. Close your eyes, relax, and enjoy. You’ve such strong thighs.”
Warm moisture dripped onto her left leg. Terry’s large palms rubbed a gentle circle on her quadriceps. Through half-lidded eyes, she viewed the intense concentration with which he examined her torso, both hands stroking the curve of her pelvis, a forefinger caressing the ridge of one hip bone, another trailing the rim of her navel.
“I feel boneless.”
“And I’m all one big bone,” he said, flashing her a grin and flicking a hand in the general direction of his cock.
“I can see that,” she said, and her cheeks warmed.
Centering the two vials on her stomach, he lay on his side, one hand cupping his cheek. He tipped one of the oval bottles over. The scent of musk reached Su-Lin’s nose, and warm liquid trickled over her belly, tickling her skin. Hips shifting side to side, she quipped, “It tickles.”
“It’s a warming oil, and I added cherry flavor.” His voice coarsened. “How does that feel, darlin’?” Two fingers sifted through her pubic hair, dampening the curls, and he razed both digits through her folds, separating the already-slick lips.
“Hot,” she replied, lifting off the bed. “Good. Oh.” She gasped when both fingers slid inside her.
“Jaysus, you’re so tight. And so responsive. Su-Lin, look at me, darlin’. That’s it,” he crooned, slipping another finger in her sheath. “Did I mention cherry’s my favorite flavor?” he asked, dipping his mouth to her reddened hood and flicking his tongue across the quivering skin. “You smell so good, and you taste like heaven, my heaven.”
His hands and lips worked magic; Su-Lin arched to his touch, to his laving mouth, to the rhythm he urged, his fingers gliding in, withdrawing, over and over.
“Terrence,” she moaned. “Terrence, please.”
Her eyelids flew upward when he cupped her bottom and lifted her, positioning the large head of his penis at her entrance. Her mouth curved, and she breathed, “Oh yes, yes.”
Storm-cloud gray irises almost disappearing under pupils dilated and darkened with passion met hers. Jaw clenched, he kept his eyes fixated on hers and pushed inside, stretching her muscles. Beads of sweat peppered his forehead. His knees nudged her legs wider. He leaned on his forearms, slanted his lips over hers, and thrust his tongue into her mouth, impaling her with his cock in one fierce plunge.
The fierce sting made her react automatically, and she stiffened and pushed at his chest. At once realizing what she was doing, she murmured, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean…stay…don’t go.”
“I’m sorry, darlin’, so sorry.” He feathered kisses over her eyelids. “I won’t move again. It’ll get better, I promise.”
“That stung,” she said, exhaling a shaky breath.
“I know,” he whispered, sucking on her lip, running a soothing tongue over her swollen mouth. Tracing the line of her neck, he nipped the curve of one shoulder, cupped a breast, and suckled, plumping the nipple taut with his teeth.
Her heels dug into the soft sheets. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded, tangling her hand in his damp hair. All of a sudden the pressure inside her gave way, and as she wriggled forward, a delicious friction made her lungs stutter. When he started to withdraw, she wrapped a leg around his waist and ordered, “No.”
“Yes. Trust me.” The words vibrated in her ears. “This is what you want.” He withdrew, her muscles contracting and clenching in refusal around his cock.
She whimpered when he slid his organ into her heat one torturous millimeter at a time.
“Jaysus.” His harsh croak barely penetrated the purring rumbling from her throat. “Are you okay?” Lips feathering her cheek, he held her gaze. “Hurting?”
This close, his eyes a tad out of focus, she slanted him a dreamy gaze and shook her head. “Oh no. Not hurting at all.”
Reaching down, he settled between her thighs, his cock rigid and large, a heated inferno between her drenched folds. The scent of sex filled the room, its heady aroma giddying, dizzying.
Terry captured her mouth, growling when she didn’t open soon enough. He swirled in, angling this way, that way, his tongue plunging in while his prick plundered her slick pussy, one rigid groin impacting her mound.
Cradling her face, his hot, moist palms held her for his devouring lips; his tongue stabbed an escalating rhythm. Hips angled, thick cock chafing all her pleasure points, she matched him thrust for thrust. One warming hand fell away.
She moaned a protest, but he cupped her bottom and pulled her tight, tight, so his penis hit that sweet spot, igniting a feverish spiral, and she begged, “Please, yes. Oh please, Terrence, Terrence.”
His mouth trailed down to one breast, and he swallowed in the whole tip while his free hand rolled her overlarge nipple, and the point flamed into molten lava. He grunted and nipped a swollen, erect peak, and ripples shuddered through her.
Oxygen left the room, and her light-headedness exploded. Mindless actions guided by some primordial Amazonian felinity, Su-Lin bit his shoulder and suckled his salty, blazing skin, mimicking his thrusting cadence unknowingly, sliding her leg up and down his sweat-dampened bottom cheek.
She shrieked when he threw back his head and roared, his prick shooting semen inside her. He didn’t stop moving, working a feverish plundering of her folds with nimble fingers, and she fell off the precipice again, spiraling out of control.
Collapsing onto the mattress, she fought to gulp a lungful of air and listened to the drumming of his heart, the slowing of his labored gasps, stilling when his thumb circled the dimple above her rear, savoring the intimate caress, memorizing it.
“Breathe, darlin’,” he said, nuzzling her neck.
When he turned her way, his chin stubble grazed her collarbone, and she marveled that such an innocuous spot, such a slight touch, could shock voltages through every pore.
Warm lips brushed the pulse at her throat; he licked the throbbing area and rumbled against her surging veins, “Here, you taste like the creamiest ice cream. I lick you and I’m high; I think of you and I’m drunk.”
“Is that why you call me your Asian aphrodisiac?” she whispered, fingers curling into her palms, half-afraid of the answer.
Raising his head, he locked their gazes. “I’ve seen you flinch when your aunt stumbles over your name, when she calls you Jennifer in that English spinster tone. You are Su-Lin. Calling you by your rightful name is an acknowledgment of two things. Your unique, exotic beauty, which is a perfect combination of Chinese and Caucasian. The most amazing mixture, which produced a stunning woman who’s proud of her combined heritage.”
Thank the gods they weren’t standing, because her bones wouldn’t support her weight, not after those incredible words. She bit down on her lower lip and blinked away the moisture brimming in her eyes, refusing to tear up.
“Don’t you want to know the reason, darlin’?”
She nodded because her voice couldn’t work.
“What turns me on about you, what makes you my aphrodisiac, is the combination of two cultures in here,” he said and covered her breast with his palm. Shifting forward, he touched her head. “And here. You are free of the ugliness of the world. You haven’t interacted with men like me. You haven’t been corrupted.”
Su-Lin knew her soul, all the love she had for this man, overflowed in her eyes, but she couldn’t break away from his gaze, couldn’t hide the emotions battling in her heart, terror and a pure ecclesiastical joy.
At least she’d have exquisite memories to devour when her heart ached, after he’d left, after she’d left. But would her mind break as Annika’s had? Did she have too much of her mother in her? Would she lose the will to live?
She squeezed her eyelids together and forced away the fear, and channeled the here and now. This man, this time, all hers for the moment.
Placing a finger on his lips, she murmured, “And I said you had no pretty words. I’ll treasure this moment all my life. Thank you.”
“You make me want to be a good man, Su-Lin,” he said and turned his head to the side. “But I’m not, darlin’. I never have been.”
Something had changed.
And it had started yesterday.
“What happened last night, Terrence? With Geoff and Harrison? You had an argument, didn’t you?”
A mask descended, his relaxed features drawing into an implacable, impenetrable neutral expression.
“Nothing for you to worry about.” Jaw working, he shot her a glance, and his lips curled at one corner. “Regretting this already?”
“What?”
He rolled off her and leaned on an elbow, one eyebrow lifted.
“I don’t regret anything. I keep my promises.” She chewed the inside of one cheek.
“That fricking ball’s tonight. We have to leave within the hour, if not we won’t have time to rent the bloody costumes. I’ll shower in this cabin. Use yours.”
Not once did he direct a glance at her as he strode to the bathroom.
Time changed measures, not seconds, not minutes, not hours anymore, but a forever eternity of watching him walk away, his buttocks tightening with each stride. The slam of the door to the head flinched her into a fetal ball, arms drawing sticky thighs taut against her breasts. Su-Lin heard water spurt from the shower, and the sound galvanized her rabbit-retreat moment. She uncoiled and leaped off the bed, jogged through the door, and closed it.
What had just happened? How had a magical moment turned into something sordid and ugly? Had he meant any of what he’d said?
Dazed, unseeing, she headed for the bathroom. Standing under the running water, shell-shocked, she replayed the whole morning. Nothing made sense. Was it because he hadn’t wanted to go to the masked bal?. She toweled off, her movements stiff, mechanical, while her mind teetered on full-blown panic.
Closing her eyes, she gripped the bathroom counter. Her childhood had been a series of similar rejections and she’d learned how to handle the taunts and curled lips.
After drawing the drapes, Su-Lin lit a lavender-scented candle, donned loose yoga pants and a sweatshirt, and put on a soothing summer rain CD.
She lay on her back on the carpeted floor in Shavasana pose, feet six inches apart, arms the same distance from her body. Closing her eyes, Su-Lin began her daily systematic tense-release relaxation routine designed to keep her flexible and prepare her mind for meditation.
A series of methodological contractions and relaxations of specific muscles for a predetermined count, she could never make it through to the end and usually woke up in this position.
Fisting her left hand to the point of pain, she inhaled for a count of eight and expelled her breath for the same count as her fingers uncurled. She repeated the action three times.
Using the same hand, she extended her fingers and widened the spaces between them, holding the tension while drawing in a deep diaphragm inhale for a count of eight. She relaxed all fingers a second at a time.
Su-Lin wound her way around her body; hands to toes, left side, repeat on the right side, buttocks to neck, and finished with the front, face to pelvis. This morning it took two times longer than normal for the tension to seep away.
To force her mind off Terrence, Su-Lin repeated each memorized childhood Mandarin nursery rhyme learned from her dad, picturing each associated hanzi character.
She dressed for battle donning an outfit she knew her aunt would hate.
Would Terrence shun her now? Pretend nothing had happened? If he did, she decided to flirt with Harry and Suresh, maybe even Geoff.
All at once, her limbs froze as a horrible thought materialized. Suppose the argument between the men had been about her? Maybe they disapproved of her being with Terry? What had Aunt Emma said? No peer of the realm would consider a woman of mixed blood.
She hated not belonging, being half-and-half. A rapid survey of her closet revealed her secret purchase the day before, a sexy outfit she’d worn in her dreams every day in high school. Squaring her shoulders, Su-Lin donned the tight skirt, hesitated long moments on the cropped top, but gritted her teeth and finished the whole suit with its matching top. She refused to look in the mirror, opened the cabin door, glanced in the direction of Terry’s cabin, stuck her chin in the air, and marched to the main deck.
Unlike the cloudless robin’s egg sky of yesterday, no blue showed this morning, only an amazing spectrum of gray, ranging from midnight-flecked navy to the soft pearl of a Barbary dove’s wings. Morning birds cawed to each other in the heavens above. Su-Lin tilted her face to the sound and caught a glimpse of beating wings before the creature vanished against the clouds. Moist still air held the hint of a fisherman’s dawn catch.
Aunt Emma, dressed in a shapeless button-up-the-front peacock blue dress and sensible low-heeled Clarks pumps, let her gaze scour Su-Lin. The right corner of her lip curled as she took in her niece’s spindle-thin three-inch stilettos, jade skintight leather skirt, and a push-up bustier in the identical shade, covered by a soft, ivory capped-sleeve bolero.
“I’ve never seen those earrings before,” she said, her British accent slipping. She cleared her throat and added, “I thought your mother only left you that Victorian locket.”
“I gave Su-Lin the earrings.”
Terrence’s deep baritone thundered up her spine, and when he cupped both her shoulders, heated coils rippled across her belly. She stood stock-still, her thoughts hurdling.
Her aunt’s horrified squeal preceded a roar from Uncle James.
“I warned you, O’Connor, stay away from my niece.”
The engine crew, on a smoke break at the bow of the boat, eyed the unfolding scene with blatant curiosity. The assembled Grasse-bound party of Harrison, Geoff, and Thomas, who lounged on the boat rail to the right of the Lockheeds, appeared fascinated.
“I like the outfit, darlin’,” Terry murmured, his lips tickling her ear. “But after this, it’s a strict FMEO classification.”
FMEO?
Fighting the impulse to shout at him, she balled her hands.
“I will not tolerate this, O’Connor.”
Uncle James’s complexion, an odd combination of blotchy and sallow at the best of times, purpled, and a vein on his forehead bulged, turning bluish green. He mopped his dripping brow with a monogrammed white handkerchief.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but Su-Lin is over twenty-one. She’s an adult, and you can’t tell her what to do.” Terrence’s calm, even tones belied the threat palpable in his wide-legged stance, and the menace loitering in the flat line of his mouth.
Huh? Hadn’t she told him not an hour ago she wanted to please her relatives? And hadn’t he basically told her to get out of his cabin? He knew she didn’t want her Aunt Emma and Uncle James to know about the two of them.
“Uncle James,” she said and took a step forward.
Terry’s grip on her shoulders tightened.
Her uncle’s mouth opened and closed, and he clutched at his chest.
“Jimmy, Jimmy,” Aunt Emma pleaded, curving an arm around her husband’s ample waist. “Remember, your heart. Where are your pills?”
“Cabin, cabin,” James gasped and fumbled to loosen his scarlet tie, then stumbled against a chair.
“Man looks like he’s having a heart attack,” Harrison muttered. “I’ll find the emergency kit. Someone get him to lie down.”
“He has a heart condition,” Su-Lin muttered. “Aunt Emma told me about it. He takes pills.” A wave of panic crashed into her knees and they buckled. She couldn’t afford to lose her only relatives in the world. She grabbed the back of one chair, locked her legs, and blurted, “I’ll get the pills. I know where he keeps them.”
Bending down, she flipped off the shoe straps, footed off the stilettos, and raced to the upper deck. Reaching the top of the stairs, she fretted a glance over her shoulder, and tears formed when she saw Terry pumping Uncle James’s chest in the classic CPR pose.
All her fault.
If only she’d done what they wanted, all of them, Dad, Mom, Uncle, Aunt. If only she knew what they wanted, any of them.
Su-Lin found her uncle’s leather travel bag in the head and threw its contents into the sink. Fumbling through shaving supplies, bottles of colognes, and various prescriptions in boxes, she pounced on the sole pill cylinder. Waving it in triumph, she leaped through the doorway, down the corridor, took the metal steps two at a time, and jumped onto the deck.
Geoff was already there waiting for her, and she slapped the container into his palm.
“Dosage?” he asked.
“Aunt Emma knows. It’s nitroglycerin, I think.” She skipped a step to keep up with him. “Is he okay?”
“Breathing a little easier but has pains in his shoulder and upper chest. We’ve called the coast guard emergency boat. They’ll be here any minute.”
Everything blurred after that.
They spent the morning at a private hospital, Clinique Saint George, located off the E80 in northern Nice. Thomas, Terry, and Geoff called in favors, and before noon, all the tests had been run.
Uncle James earned a clean bill of health, but the doctors suggested he spend the night, and arranged a room for his wife. The scare altered her relatives’ previously dour moods.
Although Su-Lin protested, Aunt Emma and even Uncle James encouraged her to accompany the rest of the group to the masquerade ball. Guilt banded a vise grip around her chest in a double dose; the first because she may have caused her uncle’s attack; the second because deep inside Su-Lin wanted to escape her disapproving relatives.
When Terrence hustled her out of the elite medical building, apprehension kept her bones and muscles glued together, bunching tighter with each step. He called Suresh during the short walk to the garage to collect his car and arranged appropriate costumes for the ball.
Su-Lin and Terry left Nice about ten minutes behind Geoff, Harry, and Thomas. They reached the outskirts of the city within half an hour, and she fiddled with the radio. When the reception burst into static, Su-Lin switched off the volume control for the radio. She didn’t know what to say or do.
“What does FMEO mean?” she asked, hoping her voice didn’t betray her nervousness, clasping both hands together so he wouldn’t see her fingers trembled.
“For My Eyes Only,” he answered and shot her a glance, his lips curving for a split second before they flattened. Fixing his stare at the asphalt climbing the side of a lush mountain, he blew out a long, audible breath.
“I’m sorry, darlin’. About earlier.”
He kept his gaze fixed on the road. She saw the hollow in his cheek as his jaw clenched.
“Did I do something wrong?” Folding her hands, she studied her short, unpainted fingernails.
“No, you did nothing wrong, darlin’. Nothing at all.”
Unable to stop the motion, Su-Lin’s eyes swept to Terrence’s profile, tracing the straight line of his nose, the slight bump in the middle, which hinted of a break.
“Why were you so mean,” she asked, then added, “afterward?”
“Guilt makes for an angry bedfellow.”
One hand gripped the other so tight, her knuckles whitened. She didn’t know what to make of his cryptic remark. “What does that mean?”
“You’re the first good thing to happen to me in a very long time, Su-Lin Taylor. I felt guilty about taking your virginity.”
“But I wanted you to,” she whispered, stroking his forearm, feeling the muscle twitching under her fingers. “You made it very special.”
“Are you sore?” His hand trapped hers.
“No,” she replied, shaking her head.
“Don’t lie to me,” he growled.
“A little sore.” Warmth tingled her neck, face, and ears. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did, when…when, you know… I was surprised.”
“You forgive me?” He curled his little finger around hers.
She nodded, staring at their entwined pinkies, his large and thick, hers a third of his in length and width.
“Terry, did you quarrel with Geoff and Harry because they don’t approve of me? Because I’m mixed?”
“What!” He stepped on the brake so hard, she fell forward, and the seat belt tightened. The exclamation echoed off the car’s roof. “Where the fricking hell did that come from?”
“You don’t have to shout,” she said. “My aunt said no peer of the realm would ever consider a woman of mixed blood. I knew you argued with Geoff and Harry, and it seemed logical that they disapprove of me. Being with you.”
“That’s just so much crap, I’m not even going to dignify it with an answer. For the record, and I’m not going to say it again, Thomas and Harry both adore you. And Geoff, well.” He let go of her hand and tugged his fingers through his hair. “Let’s just say he thinks you’re good for my black soul.”
“What about your father?”
“My father knows my black soul only too intimately. We haven’t exactly ever gotten along, Su-Lin, and I really don’t give a fricking damn what the hell he thinks about us.”
“Oh.”
Afternoon sun cast dappled shadows along the asphalt. Cool breezes rose above the air circulating in the automobile, dimming the rise and fall of engines as Terry changed gears. Surreptitious side-glances showcased the grim line of his clamped lips.
“Why did you tell my uncle and aunt about, um, us?”
“Why did I tell them I bought the earrings? I’m thirty-one, Su-Lin, and I’m not going to sneak around like an adolescent. Not even for you.” Terry flicked a peculiar dart in her direction. “And it’s time you stop hiding behind your past. You had the burden of caring for your mother from early childhood. But now, you’re twenty-one, single, and free. It’s time you took charge of your own life.”
“You don’t like them, do you?” Irritation prickled her nape, and she rubbed the spot with her thumb.
“Do you think I could honestly like a woman who’d insult you that way? No, I don’t like them, and I realize that’s not fair to you. Look, I’ll try to keep my cool for the next three weeks. That’s all I can promise.” He leaned over and tucked a strand of ear behind her left ear. “I won’t allow them to bully you. Do you remember what you asked me this morning?”
Ducking her head, she flashed him a grin and quipped, “I remember asking you all sorts of things this morning. What particular request are you referring to?”
“You asked me to make you mine.”
Their eyes met across the car. He thumbed the corner of her mouth. “I did. And I protect my own.”
Her jaw dropped open, and she couldn’t get a word out, not for several minutes.
“Do you think they know?” Su-Lin stuck her head over the half-open window and gulped in the scent of pine, which perfumed the mountain road. Her shoulders relaxed into the buttery car seat, and the corners of her mouth curved as the heat of his gaze pitted low in her belly.
“That I seduced their virgin niece? I’m not a betting man, but I’d lay odds they know. What are you going to do after the cruise?”
Eyes widening, Su-Lin straightened. “Uncle James and Aunt Emma want me to go with them to Hong Kong,” she blurted, startled by the abrupt change of subject.
“What do
you
want to do?” Gray eyes raked her face. “What does Su-Lin Taylor want to do?”