Noughts and Crosses (46 page)

‘I’m not going to the clinic tomorrow,’ I said softly.

‘You won’t be alone. We’ll be with you . . .’

‘You’ll be on your own then, because I’m not going.’

‘Pardon?’ Dad stared at me.

I stood up to face him directly.

‘I’m going to keep my baby.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Dad wasn’t shouting. He was merely incredulous. He didn’t believe I meant it.

‘I’m going to keep my baby,’ I repeated.

‘No, you are not.’

‘It’s my body and my baby, and I’m keeping it.’

‘Persephone, be reasonable. You’re not being sensible. You’re only just eighteen. How can you keep the baby? Everyone will know how it was conceived. You’ll be pointed at and scorned and pitied. Is that what you want?’

He really didn’t know me at all.

‘I’m keeping it.’

‘You’ll change your mind tomorrow,’ Dad decided.

‘No, I won’t,’ I told him. ‘I’m keeping it.’

All the way down to the coast, I phoned Sephy’s house using our signal from years ago. I had no idea if she was at the house by the coast or even if she heard my signals but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I had to see her. I had to
know
.

It took me a whole day to get back to our home town and then I had to wait until nightfall to sneak up from the coastal cave to the rose garden outside her bedroom window. It was the longest, hardest wait I’ve ever had to endure. I was so close to her, just a couple of kilometres but she might not be there or she might not want to talk to me. A world of doubts and fears stretched between us. And planning to go to her house had to be one of the stupidest things I’d ever attempted. And yet I wasn’t even close to reconsidering my actions.

I had to see her.

I was going to see her.

He’s out there. I don’t have to see him to know he’s out there. He’s down there in the rose garden, just below my window. I can sense it. I can sense
him
. My whole body is tingling and my mouth is dry and my stomach keeps flipping over like a pancake. What should I do? What will I do if he says the same as Mother and Dad?

Go and see him, Sephy. You owe yourself that much. You owe him that much.

Go and see him.

The entire rose garden was now under glass in what had to be the biggest greenhouse I’d ever seen. I’d snuck into it past the guard, only to be knocked back by the overpowering scent of the roses. They’d grown since the last
time I was here – a lifetime ago. The arches and trestle woodwork were now completely covered with rose stems and thorns and flowers. It was hard to make out all the colours in the dark. Each flower melted into the next and the next.

Was she up at the house now?

Would she come?

‘Callum?’ The merest whisper behind me but it was enough. I spun around, my heart racing, my palms sweating. She stood less than a metre away. How had she managed to get so close without me hearing her? My mind had been pre-occupied, remembering . . . But seeing her again was like . . . was like a lightning bolt hitting my heart. She was wearing a dark-coloured dress, burgundy or maybe blue. It was hard to tell. And her hair was shorter. But her eyes were the same as they always were.

I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come. Instead I gaped pathetically like a drowning fish.

‘You shouldn’t’ve come here,’ Sephy whispered, her gaze never moving from my face. ‘It isn’t safe.’

‘I had to,’ Was that really my voice, so hoarse and strange? ‘I had to.’ I tried again. ‘Is it true?’

‘Yes.’

We watched each other. And then she stepped forward and put her arms around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder. I immediately pulled her closer. She was having a baby.
Our baby
. I could hardly breathe for the wonder of it. I placed a finger under her chin to raise her head, and I kissed her. She hugged me tighter, returning my kiss, our tongues dancing together. And in that moment, the ice inside me shattered into a trillion pieces.
We shared a world of hope and regret and pleasure and pain in that one kiss, until we were both breathless and dizzy. I moved away slightly to rest my hands on her abdomen. Her hands covered mine. Her stomach was only sightly rounded but the moment I touched her, a frisson of electricity passed right through me. Like my child inside her was trying to connect with me somehow. She was carrying our child. I looked into Sephy’s face but I could hardly see her for the tears in my eyes.

‘If it’s a boy, I’m going to call him Ryan after your dad.’

‘If it’s a girl, call her . . . call her Rose,’ I said, looking around.

‘Callie Rose.’

‘Hell, no!’

‘Hell, yes!’

We both started to laugh. It felt so strange. Unusual. Peculiar. One look at her face and I knew Sephy wasn’t going to give in on this. ‘OK. Callie Rose, it is.’

Sephy moved to hold me once more. ‘I thought I’d never see you again.’

‘Sephy . . .’ I had to ask. ‘A-about that night . . .’

‘Yes?’

‘Why did you cry?’

Sephy stepped away from me, her gaze dropping. ‘Don’t ask me that.’

‘Did I hurt you? If I did, I’m sorry. I . . .’

‘Of course you didn’t. You know you didn’t.’

‘Then why?’

At first I thought she wasn’t going to answer, but then she looked straight at me and I held my breath as she began to speak. ‘When we made love, I knew I loved
you. That I always have and that I always will. But I also realized what you’d been trying to tell me all these years. You’re a Nought and I’m a Cross and there’s nowhere for us to be, nowhere for us to go where we’d be left in peace. Even if we had gone away together when I wanted us to, we would’ve been together for a year, maybe two. But sooner or later, other people would’ve found a way to wedge us apart. That’s why I started crying. That’s why I couldn’t stop. For all the things we might’ve had and all the things we’re never going to have.’

‘I understand.’ And I did. I’d been hurting inside over the same thing for most of my life.

‘When you said . . .’ Sephy paused, looking embarrassed. ‘When you said you loved me . . . Did you mean it? I don’t mind if you didn’t . . .’ She rushed on. ‘Well, I do but . . . I mean . . .’

I held out my hands and she put hers in mine, looking at me ruefully. Love was like an avalanche, with Sephy and I hand-in-hand racing like hell to get out of its way – only, instead of running away from it, we kept running straight towards it.

‘Let’s get out of here,’ I smiled. ‘Let’s go away. We can be together, even if it’s just for a little while, we could tr . . .’

Light after light after light clicked on around us, dazzling and blinding.

‘Callum, run.
RUN
!
’

I put one hand up to my eyes but I couldn’t see. And then something hit my head and I was knocked to the ground and all the lights in the world went out.

‘I thought one of the kidnappers might try again, or maybe try to get to you so that you wouldn’t be able to identify them, so I had extra security installed throughout the premises when you were in hospital.’

‘You’ve got the wrong man,’ I screamed at him again. ‘Why won’t you listen to me. Callum hasn’t done anything wrong.’

No-one was listening to me. I’d screamed at the police to let him go as they carried Callum away, but they’d ignored me. I’d tried to hold on to Callum, to pull him back but Dad had dragged me inside the house with an angry demand that I stop making such a spectacle of myself.

‘Callum hasn’t done anything. We were just talking,’ I lowered my voice. Maybe if I stopped shouting, he’d listen to me . . .

‘You’re lying,’ Dad replied at once. ‘I know for a fact that Callum McGregor was one of your kidnappers.’

‘Then you should also know for a fact that he saved my life. When I escaped from my prison cell into the woods, Callum found me. He could’ve told the others where I was but he didn’t . . .’

‘No, he just raped you and made you pregnant instead,’ Dad said bitterly.

‘Kamal, please . . .’ Mother began.

‘Callum didn’t rape me. He didn’t.’

‘But you’re pregnant so he must’ve done,’ Mother frowned.

‘I’m pregnant because we made love to each other,’ I shouted angrily. ‘And it was the most magical, wonderful night of my life. My only regret is Callum and I can’t do it again . . .’

Dad slapped me so hard he knocked me off my feet. Mother tried to rush to my side but Dad pulled her back. He drew himself up to his full height, looking down on me with an expression on his face I’d never seen before.

‘You are no longer my daughter. You are a blanker’s slut,’ Dad said with quiet venom. ‘But I’ll tell you this, you
will
go to the clinic and you
will
have an abortion. I will not allow you to embarrass me any further. D’you hear me?
D
’
YOU HEAR ME
?’

‘I hear you . . .’ I rubbed my cheek, ignoring the tears streaming down my face. Dad turned and marched out of the room.

Mother looked down at me, anguish filling every curve and line of her face. ‘Oh, Sephy . . . Sephy . . .’ she whispered. And then she turned around and left me. Alone.

That’s what I was now. That’s all I was now, according to my dad. A blanker’s slut. I buried my face in my hands and cried.