November Sky (Hardest Mistakes Book 2) (10 page)

Pain starts in my stomach again and I suck in a sharp breath. Jess must be freaking out because I didn’t come home, she’s probably worried about me. I wish there were some way I could let her know I’m okay.

“I’ll go back up and see if I can find some more,” Riley says, handing Bailey the chocolate bar and heading back up the stairs. I let a groan slip past my lips and Bailey’s attention snaps back to me.

“What’s wrong?” Her soft touch lands on my arm.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me what’s wrong? Are you okay?” She moves closer, I can feel her warmth pressed up against my side. She already knows about Jess, I might as well tell her about this too. I just hope I have enough energy to explain it to her before I pass out again.

I look down into her eyes. “It’s Jess, the girl from my apartment. I feel her pain.” She frowns, trying to figure out what I’m saying.

“The panic attacks are your dead girlfriend?” She tilts her head curiously. I smile weakly, and nod once, very slowly. Smart girl. “None of this makes sense, Kristian, you know that, don’t you?”

“I know. It’s hard to explain.”

She looks away, almost shyly. “When did she die?”

“Over six years ago.”

“So you’ve been seeing her the whole time?”

“No.” I pause to catch my breath. “Only since the day we started at the news station.”

“Oh.” Her hand is still resting on my arm. As if she just realized it herself; she pulls it away and moves so she’s not leaning on me anymore. Her absence leaves me cold. She’s not mad at me anymore, but she’s still upset. I shouldn’t have kissed her; it’s just made everything awkward between us.

The stairwell is getting darker. If I had to guess, I’d say its past sunset. Hope of being rescued any time soon is starting to fade.

“Krissy?” Bailey asks. I can barely hear her. “Why did you come after me?”

I turn toward her and meet her gaze. “Because I care about you, Bailey.” Did I just say that out loud? She’s staring at me, I must have. The air between us is thick. I don’t want to move, and neither does she, I can see it in her eyes.

“I’m scared,” she whispers, looking away and breaking the spell.

I open my arms wide, it takes a lot of effort, but it’s worth it. “Come here.” She closes the distance and curls up against my side. This is the point where I usually feel awkward about the physical contact, but either I don’t have the energy to care or maybe I just feel comfortable with her there.

***

“Krissy, please wake up,” Bailey begs from somewhere close. My eyelids are heavy. It takes nearly all the strength I have left to open them a fraction. It’s dark, but I can make out shadows as they move around me.

“Riley, he’s lost too much blood.” She’s panicking. I can hear the fear in her voice. “What do we do?”

Riley answers, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. I’m fading back into unconsciousness.

A dark shape moves close by and then suddenly Bailey’s face comes into view, very blurred. “Krissy, can you hear me?” My breaths are too shallow. I don’t have the air in my lungs to answer her. I try to lift my arm, but all I manage to do is twitch my fingers. “It’s going to be all right. Riley’s gone for help.” She touches my face gently, running her fingertips down my cheek to rest on my neck. She presses harder, feeling for my pulse. I close my eyes again. They’re too heavy.

“You’re going to be okay, I promise,” Bailey whispers softly.

I don’t remember falling asleep again.

Soft voices pique my interest and I try to open my eyes. They’re too heavy, I don’t have the energy. The voices become louder and then they fade again. What’s happening? I must have lost more blood than I thought.

“Kristian, can you hear me?” Bailey’s voice asks close to my ear. I open my mouth to answer, but no sound comes out. Something warm envelops my hand. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” I use all the energy I have left to twitch my fingers. Who knew it would be so hard to move. “They’ve found us, the rescue team. They’re bringing in a stretcher…” I can’t concentrate on what she’s saying; my mind keeps floating away, thinking about other things, less important things. Like what color the sky must be right now.

My chest feels heavy; it’s getting harder to suck air into my lungs. 

“Kristian,” Jess’s soft voice echoes around me. “Just give up, and then we can be together forever…Just give up.” It’s so tempting, to be with Jess forever. I can already feel the peace death will bring. But I’m not ready to die…not yet.

CHAPTER 12

KRISTIAN

I flinch away from an annoying non-stop beeping noise, it’s so frustrating. My mouth is so dry it aches. My whole body feels overly heavy and lethargic. Opening my eyes, I glance around the white hospital room until my vision focuses and lands on the nurse standing beside my bed, fixing the drip in my wrist.

“Where am I?” My voice is scratchy and it hurts my throat to talk.

The nurse glances at me, then leans over and pours me a cup of water. It feels like heaven gliding down my throat. “Welcome back, Mr. Reed. Can’t seem to keep yourself out of trouble, can you?” I frown and look closer at the nurse. It’s the same young lady from my last hospital visit. Of all the…I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t turn me in to a psychiatrist saying I’m trying to kill myself. She gives me an accusing look and shakes her head. I turn away and see Bailey sleeping in a plastic hospital chair beside the door, her glasses slightly askew on her face.

“She’s been here since they brought you in three days ago. Must really care about you,” the nurse scoffs, as if it’s hard to believe why someone would care about me.

I don’t know why I feel the need to justify it to her, but I do, she’s being nosy. “We’re just friends.”

She raises a disbelieving eyebrow at me. “Mmm-hmm.” She flips her clipboard closed, leaving the room without a backward glance. I turn my attention back to Bailey. It can’t be comfortable to sleep on a chair, I can’t believe she stayed.

Something on the nightstand glitters out of the corner of my eye, Jess’s bracelet. I reach over slowly and pick it up, it’s cold between my fingers; the links shine in the bright fluorescent hospital lights.

“You could have stayed with me forever,” Jess echoes sadly from beside me.

“I know,” I whisper back, staring down at her bracelet.

“Why didn’t you?”

I don’t know how to answer that without hurting her feelings or making it worse. I just wasn’t ready to die. I glance over at Bailey again.

“I was so worried when you didn’t come home. I should have known you were with her,” Jess practically spits at me; I can hear the jealousy in her voice. I turn my gaze toward the sound of her voice.

“There was a hurricane, Jess; we were trapped in the building.” Her cold touch grips my hand and she materializes beside my bed. Her face is full of sadness.

“You could have just stayed with me…” she says quietly, and then she lets go of my hand and disappears. I can’t feel her in the room anymore.

Bailey makes a small noise and I look at her. She’s staring, her mouth slightly open in surprise. A loud ringing snaps her out of it and she reaches into her jacket pocket to pull the phone out. She glances at the screen, then walks over to me, holding it out.

“It’s your mom again. She’s worried about you.” I hold her gaze and gently take the phone from her outstretched hand.

Without breaking eye contact, I answer the noisy thing. “I’m fine, Mom.” I watch, barely listening to my mother’s worried voice as Bailey looks away shyly, and sits back in her chair. 

I finish and place my phone on the nightstand. “Bailey, I—” A doctor walks in, interrupting what I was about to say, not that I know what I was going to say. I was going to wing it.

I watch her a moment longer before turning my attention to the tall male doctor.

“Your injuries were extensive, but you seem to be recovering extremely well. There were deep lacerations along your right shoulder, a cracked rib, and a small gash on your forehead, which needed three stitches,” the doctor explains, reading from his clipboard. “Not the worst I’ve seen from this storm. We’ll discharge you later this week.” He writes something down and then lifts his head to look at me. “I’ll get one of the nurses to bring you something to eat.” He gives me a small smile, then swings around and exits the room.

I glance back at Bailey, who’s standing to the side of the room watching me. “The city’s in pretty bad shape, but the clean-up is already underway. We were trapped in one of the most damaged buildings in the lower end of the city where it flooded.”

I nod, not really listening, or caring about the rest of the city’s damage. She goes quiet and sits back in her plastic chair. “You don’t have to stay.”

She glances at me quickly then looks away. “I know. But I can’t sleep,” she says too quietly. She’s upset.

“How’s Riley?” I ask to change the subject.

“He’s fine. He left for Black Pike this morning.” The room goes silent. It’s awkward. I run through all the questions in my head, looking for something to start a new conversation with.

Bailey stands suddenly, just as I’m about to ask how her apartment fared during the storm. “Look, I’m just going to leave.” She turns and exits without another word. Without saying goodbye.

I’m confused. Did I say something wrong?

***

The young nurse who has been looking after me, Gabrielle, helps me fill out my discharge papers on Thursday morning. Bailey hasn’t come to see me since she left without saying goodbye. I don’t know what I did, I thought we were friends again after our conversation.

“Would you like me to call a taxi for you?” Gabrielle is almost nice to me today, it’s a little suspicious. I decline the taxi and decide to walk home, very slowly. My shoulder and ribs feel like they’ve been crushed by a truck, but I can manage. The fresh air will help me sort through my emotions.

The sun is shining when I exit the hospital, shining on all the destruction. Rubbish and waterlogged furniture line the streets; most of the windows are boarded up, the glass having shattered during the storm. Trees lay on their sides on the pavement, or in buildings. There are people out everywhere, dumping stuff out of their houses or work offices, cleaning the streets, loading up trailers full of debris. It’s all really depressing.

It takes me nearly double the time it usually does to walk home. The walk didn’t help at all. I’m still a mess.

By the time I reach my door, I’m exhausted. I enter my apartment and look around, surveying the damage. All of my windows are covered by large wooden boards; my landlord must have come up and nailed them there. I’m high enough up that my furniture doesn’t look destroyed, but everything lighter than my couch has been thrown around the room and scattered everywhere. Still less destruction than Jess’s outburst.

I get out my broom and start sweeping up the mess. Before long my shoulder starts protesting and I have to stop and take a break. It feels so empty in here, I wonder where Jess is? She seemed upset that I didn’t give up and die. Shouldn’t she be encouraging me to live? I love her so much, but I just don’t know anymore.

***

JESSICA

I’ve searched everywhere for her. The old lady with the warning. I wouldn’t know where to start, but I’ve been trying. I’m confused and I don’t know what to do. I need her to tell me what to do. The blackouts have started and they’re bad. Last time I came back to myself, I was trapped in a room with a small crying child. I stood there for a full minute trying to figure out where I was. Meanwhile the little girl just whimpered, “Go away,” over and over again. It was horrible and I have a feeling it’s not the only bad thing I’ve done. I have to tell Kristian. I have to tell him before it gets worse and I’m no longer myself.

He won’t care,
a dark voice whispers in the back of my mind.
He never cared. All he wants to do is hurt you. You should hurt him back.

***

KRISTIAN

My shower is painful. I’ve been looking forward to it since I woke up in the hospital, and now I regret having one. My shoulder feels like it has been ripped open again. And my stupid shower cap that’s protecting my stitches is annoying the crap out of me. Giving up, I turn the shower off and get ready for bed.

It’s lonely in my quiet apartment. I stare up at the patterns from the streetlights reflected on my bedroom ceiling. This can’t be all there is to life.

I drift off, wondering where Jess is now. My normally blank dreams rapidly turn nasty, making me relive the hurricane, falling through the floor, the terror of thinking I’m going to die painfully. Then it shifts. Suddenly, I’m watching Jess, watching her beautiful face as she slips from the waterfall, watching her fear as she falls, and looking at her lifeless body as I hold her in my arms, yelling for someone to help.

I lurch into a sitting position in bed, covered in sweat and panting. It’s been a while since I’ve had a nightmare about Jess’s death. My phone beeps from on top of my dresser across the room. I shake my head, trying to rid myself of Jess’s terrified face, and throw the covers back, getting out of bed. My phone starts ringing just as I reach it. Bailey’s name flashes on the screen. I frown at it, and then swipe my thumb along the screen to answer.

“Krissy?” Her voice is quiet, almost scared.

“Bailey? Are you okay?” I glance at the alarm clock beside my bed. “It’s 2 a.m.”

“The nightmares keep coming. Every time I close my eyes,” she whispers through the phone. I don’t answer. What does she want me to say? I hear a soft sigh and then, “I don’t even know why I called you. I’m sorry. Night.” The line goes dead as she hangs up. I’m confused, why did she call me? I stand for a minute and stare at the phone, then, decision made: I snatch my keys off the counter and leave my apartment.

I knock on the door and wait impatiently, fidgeting with Jess’s bracelet in my pocket. This was a bad idea. I should just turn around and go home like nothing happened, like I didn’t just dash out of my apartment and jog over here without any shoes on in the middle of the night.

The door opens slightly, letting a sliver of light from inside escape.

“Kristian?” Bailey asks quietly, opening the door wider. “What are you doing here?” She steps aside, silently inviting me in.

We stand awkwardly in her kitchen, neither of us speaking. She opens her mouth to say something, then stops, turning away and pouring herself a glass of water from a jug on the counter.

She watches me as she gulps it down and puts the cup back on the hard surface.

“You’re not wearing any shoes?” she asks curiously. I glance down at my cold, bare feet and purse my lips. I’ve got to admit, this isn’t the best decision I’ve ever made. She continues before I can answer. “So, do you want me to make up the couch for you or something?”

Wow, I really didn’t think this through. This is more awkward than the hospital. “I guess so.” She nods and wanders over to her hall closet for blankets and pillows.

She sets them on the couch and then heads back to her room. “Good night.”

I lie on her overly plush couch and stare across the room at the hallway. I can hear her climbing under the covers; she must have left her door open. I don’t understand why I came, this was a stupid idea. Nothing good happens after 2 a.m. My eyes become heavy and slide closed. I reluctantly give in to sleep.

I bolt upright and scatter the blankets across the floor as I jump up and look around. Something woke me, it’s still dark out so I mustn’t have been asleep for very long. I move to sit back down, but pause when I hear a whimper from Bailey’s room. Frowning, I tip-toe down the dark hallway and poke my head around the corner into her room. I can just see her in the dim light from the streetlights outside her window. She’s tangled up in her sheets, still asleep. Another soft moan escapes her and she turns over. She’s having a nightmare. What do I do? 

I stand in the doorway like an idiot and wait to see if she calms down. She rolls restlessly in bed again. I have to do something. I creep across the room and lean over the bed, gazing down at her face. Her hair is splayed around her head on the pillow. I reach out tentatively and brush my fingers down her soft cheek. The tips of my fingers come away wet—she’s been crying.

She turns her head toward me and her eyes blink open. “Kristian?”

“You were having a nightmare,” I answer quietly, pulling my hand away. She frowns, looking away. I shouldn’t be in her room; she probably thinks it’s creepy that I was in here while she was sleeping. I turn to leave.

Her warm hand wraps around my wrist, stopping me.

“Stay. Please?” she pleads, her eyes wide with fear. I’m lost, what do I do? She tugs my arm closer and moves over on the bed, making room for me. I hesitate, my thoughts warring inside me. Jess’ face pops up in my mind, but I push it away. Bailey is obviously scared of something. I’m her friend; it’s my obligation to help. I nod once, sink down on top of the covers, and roll on my side so I’m not lying on my bad shoulder, and face her. The corner of her mouth lifts in a shy smile and she closes her eyes, settling back into sleep. Her features soften and her breathing becomes even and deep.

I am so warm, which is unusual for my drafty apartment. Yawning, I open my eyes slowly. Bailey’s sleeping face comes into focus; I jerk into a sitting position and look down at her. I completely forgot where I was. She mumbles something in her sleep and moves closer, snuggling into my waist. Her arm is draped over my hip and her legs are pressed up against mine. Hold on a minute, didn’t I fall asleep on top of the blankets? When did I get under the covers? I scoot backwards quickly, distancing myself from her, and fall off the bed, landing with a heavy thud on her cold wood floor.