Now and Always (28 page)

Flushed, Katie stepped back but not before Warren captured her hand and held on tightly.

When the doorbell rang around nine, Warren had still refused to release her hand. Together they opened the door and found the sheriff standing in a near blizzard.

Katie's smile widened. “Ben! Merry Christmas!” Her eyes scanned his familiar form. For some crazy, completely irrational reason, she was happy to see him.

Ben eyes appraised the festive atmosphere, women's soft laughter, carols playing in the background. Katie knew it didn't take a wise man to know a party was in progress.

The sheriff removed his hat. “Sorry to bother you.” He shuffled an envelope between his fingers. “I wanted to deliver this on my way to Susan's.”

Katie focused on the envelope, smiling when he handed it to her. “Your sister is having a family dinner tonight?”

“Yes, she is.”

“I didn't know sheriffs were so domesticated.” Warren smile didn't reach his eyes. “Working late?”

Katie noticed Ben didn't rise to the bait. “No. I was asked to deliver this tonight.”

Warren drew Katie closer to his side. “You should take more time to enjoy life, Sheriff. It'll be over before you know it.”

Katie tore open the envelope, her eyes skimming the brief note.

Katie,

A few of us in town decided that in lieu of exchanging
gifts this year, we'd like to fix the shelter roof.

God bless you and the work you're doing.

Ben

At least fifty signatures accompanied the sheriff's.

Speechless, Katie stared at the gift.

Ben cleared his throat. “There should be over thirty-five hundred dollars there — unless I miscounted.”

Warren's smile faded. “Katie has put a new roof on the shelter. The money isn't needed.”

Katie located her voice. “Yes, it is! I mean, I can pay off the loan with no interest.” She stared at the windfall, and then burst into tears. “Thank you, God!” Katie lunged and threw herself into Ben's arms. “Thank
you
!” she whispered against the warmth of his cleanly shaven neck. “You can't possibly know what this means to me.”

She'd barely been able to sleep nights for thinking of Grandpops and how he'd be so disappointed in her if he knew she'd mortgaged the house. There'd been no other way, but now Ben had worked a miracle. She knew that he was responsible for this, knew without a doubt, and she could never, ever repay his vote of confidence.

His arms closed briefly around her and for a second, he held her. She settled into his arms, aware of the stiff collar on his crisp shirt, the smell of cold air and Dial soap.

Warren reached out and drew Katie back into his arm. “Thank you, Ben. Inform the town that Katie appreciates the gift.”

Giving Ben a parting smile, Katie settled beside Warren. “Please. Come inside and have a cup of eggnog. Tottie and Ruth have baked goodies — ”

“Another time, thanks.” Ben settled his hat on his head. “I was due at my sister's half hour ago, and the weather is getting pretty nasty.”

As he turned and walked away, Katie left Warren's side. “Merry Christmas!”

Ben lifted a hand of acknowledgment and continued on to his car. Snow fell in wet sheets from a brooding sky.

Katie lifted a hand and caught a flake, her earlier festive mood diminished. Loneliness swept her. She missed Grand-pops and Grandmoms. She missed childhood innocence. She missed Ben's friendly banter. And worse, she was starting to doubt herself, exactly the way her guests had been taken in by the men they loved. Had she become an enabler because of one old gypsy that evening so many years ago? She told herself that God and only God guided her life, but was she practicing her belief?

Hugging her waist, she closed the door.
Why so melancholy?
Wasn't this a magical night? Wasn't everything coming to
a satisfying culmination? A new roof accepted the snow. Warren
was coming around quickly now. Why this sudden feeling of
incompleteness, the sense that new beginnings were a sham and
the worst was yet to come?

Wrapping his arm around her waist, Warren drew Katie deeper into the shelter's warmth. “Why the glum face?”

“Oh, I guess in a way I feel sorry — and guilty about the way I've treated Ben. He's been so . . . I wish . . .”

He finished her incomplete thought. “You wish that Warren would take you for a ride and show you the Christmas lights.”

It wasn't exactly
all
she wished, but the suggestion partially restored her festive mood. “I do. I'll tell Tottie where we're going and get my coat.”

He steered her to the hall closet. “You're a big girl, and we won't be gone long. Tottie will figure out that we wanted some privacy.”

Privacy.
Was God opening a whole new world for her, a world of Warren, maybe a new family life? In time she could help him adjust to the shelter and her purpose.

He took her coat from the closet and helped her into it. She reached for her cell phone and stuck it in her coat pocket as they went out the door.

Light spilled from the shelter windows. Inside music and laughter and new life thrived. For the briefest of moments, Ben flashed through Katie's mind. He was on his way to his sister's tonight. Family responsibility. Did he long for his own family? He could have one if he chose. She shouldn't feel responsible for his singleness. Many women in town would walk on hot coals to date Ben. Marry Ben. Have Ben's red-headed, freckle-faced, adorable babies.

Sighing, Katie rested her head on Warren's shoulder as they drove out of the barn lot.

“Warm enough?”

She nodded. Everything was good except for the nagging sense that something was terribly wrong.

Thirty-Five

The wipers whacked to keep up with the falling snow as the pickup rolled down the empty highway. Few motorists chose to brave the slippery roads. Why was it so important to view the lights tonight? When the headlights caught the shadow of Devils Tower silhouetted against the snowy landscape, Katie recalled N. Scott Momday's words, which she had studied in high school: “A dark mist lay over the Black Hills, and the land was like iron . . . There are things in nature that engender an awful quiet in the heart of man; Devils Tower is one of them.”

“The sight of the Tower never ceases to impress me,” she said.

“It is awesome. Can you imagine what ran through people's minds when they came across the rock?”

Katie had spent her junior year volunteering for the park system, and she knew the Kiowa legend by heart.

Eight children played near the rock one day, seven sisters and
their brother. Suddenly the boy was struck dumb; he trembled
and began to run upon his hands and feet. His fingers became
claws, and his body was covered with fur. Terrified, the sisters
ran, and the bear ran after them. They came to the stump of a
great tree, and the tree spoke to them. It beckoned them to climb
upon it, and as they did so it began to rise into the air. The bear
appeared and lunged to kill them, but they were just beyond its
reach. It reared against the tree and scored the bark all around
with its sharp claws. The seven sisters were borne into the sky, and
they became the stars of the Big Dipper.

Each time she'd retold the story, she'd been met by wide tourist eyes, eyes that pivoted to reassess the national monument that rose 867 feet from its base. Tonight the Tower looked sinister in the falling snow.

The tourist site was closed. Darkness lay over the Black Hills in hushed reverence.

“We're going to see the lights from the Tower?” Katie laughed. “How do you plan to climb it? Unfortunately I left my rock climbing gear at home.”

Warren grinned down at her. “I'm a hometown boy, remember? I know a place where we can see the lights, and it has nothing to do with the Tower being open.”

The truck wound along snowy asphalt. When Katie started to doubt there was a way to view local lights other than the Tower road, Warren turned onto a dirt road. Ah, yes. She had forgotten it was here. The road climbed gradually, following the curve of a hill. The ascent was slow and treacherous and proved a challenge even for a four-wheel drive. Halfway up, Warren eased to the side and cut the engine. The vantage point was good. Katie relaxed. She would have never attempted the climb, but men are predators, hunters seeking a challenge.

Settling closer into Warren's arms, her eyes drank in the breathtaking beauty.

“Heaven must be like this.”

“You think?” He gently turned her and kissed her lips.

She settled more deeply into his affection, his security.

Warren's voice was so soft she had to strain to hear him. “You've always known that you weren't going to close the shelter, haven't you?”

She closed her eyes, relieved that he knew her so well. “I want
us,
Warren, but the shelter's been my work for so long that I can't close it.”

And honestly. She didn't want to spoil the evening by rehashing the subject. Couldn't he just leave it alone?

“You've got a loving nature, Katie. Maybe that's what draws me to you.”

He kissed her again and something fluttered. Love, the everafter kind? Or was it a preconceived notion? Once she'd been so sure. Now she wasn't.

When their lips parted, he said. “Let's get out.”

“Out?” Katie recoiled. It was cold up here, blizzard conditions. Not fit for man or beast, Grandpops would say. She'd stay in the cab, thanks.

“I think I'll stay put.”

“Stay put? A little snow won't hurt you. Let's take a walk; it's so pretty up here.”

A chill raced through her. Warren's tone had changed — ever so slightly, but she noticed it. The request was more an order than an invitation. Suddenly she was aware of the isolation, the seclusion. “No, it's too cold. You get out and I'll wait here.”

He opened the door and got out, snow enveloping him.

“Nut,” she muttered. “It's freezing out there.”

He moved around the hood of the pickup and maneuvered to her side of the truck, losing his footing a couple of times. The door suddenly opened. “Get out.”

She shrank back, icy air stealing her breath. “What's wrong?”

“You're the problem. Get out.”

Warren's hand snaked into the cab, grasped her arm, and hauled her partway out. She grabbed the doorframe, holding tight until he pried her fingers loose.

“I said get
out
.”

Katie fell on her hands and knees in the snow.

Warren grabbed her shoulder, yanking her upright. “Come on. Move!”

Fear, all consuming, filled her. He caught her arm, dragging her toward the steep incline. She tried to hold back and fought to break free, but his grip was too strong. Her breath came in ragged gasps, her hands and face stinging from the howling wind. She slipped. He jerked her upright and forced her closer to the precipice. They were exposed to the elements here, no sheltering trees, nothing to break the wintry explosion.

Katie wrenched free, whirling to escape, but Warren was on her in an instant.

“No, you don't. You brought this on yourself. Don't fight me, Katie. I'm bigger and stronger than you.”

For the first time in her life, Katie felt small, insignificant to his height.

Warren hauled her against him, and the hatred in his voice rendered her speechless. “You're like all women. Sure you'll help abused women, help them to abandon their men who support and take care of them. Kick the guy in the teeth, right? Watch him suffer?”

“No, it's not like that. I'm not like that.”
Help me, God.
He's clearly lost his mind!

The wind tore at her, threatening to hurl her off the exposed trail. Still Warren forced her on, dragging her even higher up the incline. Suddenly he released her and she stumbled. Regaining her balance, she confronted him, instinctively knowing it would be suicide to show fear.

“Why are you doing this? What have I done to you?”

“You know what you've done.” His lips drew back in a snarl. “You're a fool, Katie. I gave you every chance to avoid this.”

“I don't understand. What are you talking about?” She stalled for time. She could break through to him, turn him away from this cold rage focused on her. Why hadn't she acknowledged his erratic behavior earlier? He'd shown signs, signs she'd chosen to ignore. She was no wiser than the shelter victims.

“Don't play the innocent. I told you. I know women. You're all alike, greedy, grasping, not interested in anyone or anything except yourselves.”

Katie struggled to stand erect against the wind-driven snow. “Stop this nonsense. Let's go back to the truck, talk about this.” Why was she trying to reason with a madman? The steel glint in his tone terrified her.