Now and Forever (11 page)

We stood silent, waiting.

Redleigh, moving closer, said, “Captain, is that not the comet that first passed Earth some thirty years ago?”

And I, half-remembering, spoke and gave its name: “Leviathan.”

“Yes!” the captain said. “Speak up! Again!”

“Leviathan,” I repeated, wondering what was going on. “The largest comet in history.”

The captain whirled away from the star screen and turned his blind gaze upon us. “The brute chemistry of the universe thrown forth in light and trailing nightmare. Leviathan!”

“Was it not Leviathan, Captain,” said Redleigh, softly, “that put out your eyes?”

The men murmured and stared harder at the beautiful beast.

“But to give me great vision!” the captain said. “Yes! Leviathan! I saw it close. I touched the hem of its great million-mile-long bridal veil. And then that virgin whiteness, jealous of my loving glance, rubbed out my sight. Thirty, thirty, thirty years ago. I still see it on my inner lids every night, so passing strange, so full of Arctic miracles, that huge white thunderhead of God. I ran to it. I offered up my fevered soul. And it
snuffed me out
! And then it ran, leaving me. Yet look.”

He touched the three-dimensional chart and the comet brightened yet again, loomed even larger.

“Leviathan returns,” said the captain. “I have waited thirty long years, and the moment has finally come. And I have chosen you, men, to be with me on this starship to rush and meet that downfell light, which having once doomed me now cycles round to doom itself. Soon, I will lift my hands—
your
hands—to make that strike.”

The men stirred, but said nothing.

“What?” the captain said. “Silence?”

“Sir,” Redleigh said, “that is not our mission, our destination. What of our loved ones on Earth …”

“They will know of it! And they will celebrate when we have bled this beast and interred it in the Coalsack Nebula burial ground.”

“But questions will be asked, sir,” said Redleigh.

“And we will answer those questions. And we will complete our mission.
After
we have dealt with Leviathan. We must learn the stuffs of pure destruction. Look on Leviathan! What is it? Some dread thing torn from out God's throat when He knew darkness in His sleep? Gone evil with time, gone tired with creation, did God frighten up his bones and mind and lungs in one titanic seizure to cough forth this sickening? Who knows, can guess, or tell? All I know is that old curse and bled-forth wound now terrorizes space and ravens at our heels.

“Let us speak gently now. Wherever God now is, why, spring and sweet winds play. But with Leviathan, all dies and bleeds away. Great God, I worship thee. But thy old ailment comes to winnow me and split my bones and kindle up dead eyes to half an obscene light. So madness gives me strength for this last night. Insanity makes grasp both long and broad. Once clutched and killed, Leviathan, I will turn back to my God.”

We stood, as if spellbound.

Redleigh at last dared to propose: “This hell you speak of … is it quite that Hell?”

“Why,” said the captain, “there's Death himself come round to even up old scores. God sums Himself on Earth four billion strong. But here's the beast to make that right go wrong. Within a month, this light-year creature, mid-Pacific, will submerge and murder all that's living on Earth.”

“But our scientists, sir—” began Redleigh.

“Are blind!” yelled the captain. “No, worse! For even blind, I see! On other journeys, Leviathan missed our Earth by a million miles or more.”

“And
this
time round,” insisted Redleigh, “the calculations show that it will miss Earth by
six times
as much.”

“Your wise men say Survival? I say Death,” the captain roared. “Our funeral comes this way. Changed, pulled, put on new tracks by far dark worlds beyond our sight, put off by gravities of malice, Leviathan now veers to doom us. Does
no one
see or care?”

We in our ranks shifted uneasily. What our captain spoke seemed madness, and yet he was so sure, so strong.

“We must take care now,” said Redleigh finally, “if what you say is true.”

“Aye to that!” we yelled as one.

“Proof, now, Redleigh,” said the captain. “Here are my charts.” He pulled a slim disk from his coat and held it out in the direction of Redleigh's voice. “Computerize these as far as you or God can count and then beyond.”

“I will take your charts, sir,” said Redleigh, gravely.

“Quickly,” said the captain. “Scan, study,
see.
”

Redleigh turned the disk over in his hands.

“For there you will find Doom,” the captain went on. “But, if serenity, sweet peace, and mild excursions are your findings, man … if you discover instead fair Heaven and find green Eden, say your say with graceful data! Play the computer. If your final tune is joy, I will accept it, and turn us back toward stallion and mare meadows and fine frolics; no remorse.”

“Fair put, sir.”

“Where's your hand?” said the captain, reaching out upon the air.

“Here, sir.”

The captain seized it. “Now man, attend. Here's one who gives his palm on palm to me. May I beg hearts and souls from all the rest?”

“They're here!” came all our voices.

“And all about!” I added.

“Aye and aye!” cried many voices.

The captain still held tight to Redleigh's hand, binding him to his compact as he cried out a final oath: “Christ's wounds swallow comets! Much thanks for that sweet sound. Men! Ours is a holy mission. There will be none greater in the history of humanity, though our sands run forever through a glass as big as Creation's landfall in far Centauri! We will save our Earth! Technicians, stand alert! Oh, men, Leviathan is a long white unhealed wound in space, a light that puts out light. Let us heal it forever. Ready the alarms. The first man who spots it gets double his pay for the journey! Squads, disperse. Fall out!”

The crew ran to their stations, all but Quell. Sensing that my friend was not with me, I pulled up short, and turned to see Quell, gazing at the captain with a look of terrible revelation. Redleigh, too, took note of Quell's expression, and stood quietly beside the captain.

The captain, feeling the silence, said, “Dismissed, Redleigh.”

“Sir.”

And Redleigh turned and walked away.

“Ishmael?” the captain said suddenly. “Dismissed.”

“Sir!” I saluted to those blind eyes, and started to leave but hesitated to look back at the captain and Quell.

The captain sensed Quell drawing near. And yet Quell would not look at him. The captain raised a hand to touch the air near Quell's strange green face. He seized his hand back as if it was half-burnt. Then he turned and stepped back through the door leading off the main deck and the door whispered shut.

There was a long moment in which Quell's face gathered shadows of his own future. I could not bear to witness it.

And then I heard the voices of the crew, coming from all around, one by one.

“The comet Franciscus 12.”

“Halley's comet.”

“The comet of Pope Innocent the Third.”

“The Great India comet of '88.”

“The comet of Alcibiades.”

And on the great star screen, one by one, I saw gigantic manifestations of comets, meteors, star clusters, all of which hung themselves on the dark.

“What
is
a comet, anyway?” I heard myself say. “Who knows, really,” I answered myself. “Universal vapors. The mighty indigestion of our creator. Quell?”

Quell's thoughts touched mine.

“On my world, such comets are known as pilgrim visitors, far-traveling specters, haunters of the feast. You see? Our history has as much romantic nonsense as yours.”

“Well, then,” I said, “the captain has his reasons for seeking his comet, and we have ours. There's nothing like a riddle.”

“A riddle,” said Quell. “Let us sleep on that tonight. Perhaps in sleep, we'll dream, and in the dream, find an answer. A riddle. A riddle.”

And it was in the midst of the night, while I slept, that I heard something stirring. Quell. I felt his mind move in mine and then, at last, his voice: “May all the men rise up and listen.”

Then, not only in my mind, but with his tongue, Quell said the syllables that made “Elijah.”

“Quell,” I whispered faintly.

And then how strange it was, for it was not Quell's voice that I heard now, in the middle of the night, but the voice that spoke in his mind. It was the voice of Elijah, recalled.

“Oh, listen, hear!” said the voice that I'd last heard in the cathedral on Earth. “Aboard this ship, far out in space, there will come a time when you see land where there is no land, find time where there is no time, when ancient kings will reflesh their bones and reseat their crowns.”

“What's that?” I heard from some other room along the corridor.

“Shut him off, shut him up,” cried another.

“No, wait, wait,” I whispered.

And Quell continued with the voice of Elijah: “Then, then, oh, then, ship, ship's captain, and ship's men, all, all will be destroyed. All save
one
!”

“All?” someone said.

“Save one,” said another.

“All will be destroyed,” said Quell, with the voice of Elijah.

And then he sank back into silence and slept.

I turned over but could not sleep, and sensed my crewmates in their cubicles, up and down the corridor, sleepless till dawn.

The voice clock in every cabin ticked and named the hours and at last, with no sunrise, in our minds we saw a ghost comet loom in spirit smoke above the captain's bunk, and the captain mourned his own death in his sleep.

 

From the log of First Mate John Redleigh:
Records dating 400 B.C. Rumors have it that Alexander the Great's death was predicted in the appearance of the comet Persephone. The comet Palestrina arrived in the year one; it may well have been the Star of Bethlehem. This much we know, but little more. The main material of a comet's body is methane gas and wintry snow, wintry snow.

 

Unable to sleep, I arose and left my bunk, drawn to the captain's cabin. From outside that sealed door I could hear his nightmares within. “No,” I heard him groan. “No, no, I say. Get off. Go!”

A figure came along the corridor: Redleigh. I pulled back into the shadows as the first mate pounded on the captain's door.

“Captain?”

The captain called out from within. “What? What?”

“You were having a nightmare, sir,” said Redleigh.

The door opened and the captain stood there, his white hair wild. “God, I dreamt I fell, I fell, down in space, forever. Let me grasp my soul.”

“Ship's log to be signed, sir,” said Redleigh.

“At four in the false morning? Good, Redleigh, something to keep me from my nightmares. I'll come with you to sign. How go the star computers?”

“They burn, sir, from overuse.”

“You jump to prove me wrong?”

“You have said you were right, sir,” said Redleigh. “I would prove that.”

The captain stepped out of his cabin, and I moved back further into the shadows, even though he could not see me. They started down the corridor, toward the main deck, and I followed along.

“I know you, Redleigh. You have no heart for this chase, do you?”

“If by ‘chase' you mean our proper business of charting stars and exploring worlds …”

“No, no! Here!” the captain said as he emerged onto the vast main deck, nearly empty now, and pointed toward the star screen. The three-dimensional display hung brightly on the air.