Now Comes the Night (30 page)

He hadn’t actually planned on coming here tonight, but the thought of being alone chilled his soul. Why should he not seek out such a sure and certain source of comfort and affection? What he needed tonight was a friend, someone he could rely on to take his mind off his fear and confusion, someone who could give him hope and make him feel loved.

Damian had to knock several times before Paul finally came to the door wearing only a sleepy expression and a pair of boxers. He hadn’t turned on any lights in his trek to the front door, but that didn’t keep Damian from seeing him perfectly. Even despite Damian’s state of near despair, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. “
Hola
, Pablito.” He was so young, so virile and alive, so very beautiful. “
Buenas noches
. May I come in?”

“Hey, D.” Paul’s eyes were narrowed against the dim light filtering in from the hallway, their expression shuttered, but Damian could read his surprise just the same. It was obvious in the rapid patter of his heart, the heightened color in his cheeks. “What’re you doing here?”

Paul’s voice was thick with sleep and noticeably hoarse. Damian was surprised at the jealousy it stirred up. He had heard that note in Paul’s voice before. He knew the likely cause of it. Who had Paul been with tonight, and was the other man still here? “Well, that’s a silly question, isn’t it? I’m here to see you.”

Suddenly, coming here seemed a very bad idea. Why
had
he come? It was the first time Damian had ever shown up at Paul’s door uninvited. It hadn’t occurred to him, until now, to wonder whether he might not be welcome after all. It was a Friday night. Why had he assumed Paul would be spending any part of it alone? He scented the air, searching for any sign of another, unpleasantly aware that he might very well be on the verge of being turned away for the second time in one evening, and that he would have no right to complain if he was. “Are you going to allow me in or not?”

Paul shook his head. “Talk about stupid questions,” he mumbled as he shuffled back a step. “There’s a good one right there.” He pulled the door open wider and motioned at Damian to enter. “C’mon in.”

Relief made Damian reckless. He crossed the threshold and pushed the door closed behind him. Then he grabbed Paul and pulled him into his arms. Paul’s eyes went wide with surprise—but only for an instant. They fell shut as soon as Damian took his lips in that first, hard, hungry kiss. Moaning softly, Paul kissed him back. His sleep-warmed body was pliant, his lips gentle as they parted for Damian’s tongue. He stood quietly within Damian’s embrace, offering himself eagerly, openly. Offering no resistance whatsoever.

Nice as it was, Damian nearly howled in frustration at Paul’s response. It wasn’t enough. Not tonight. Tonight, Damian needed more than willing, more than eager compliance. More than nice. He needed heat and passion, a struggle for control, maybe even a little bit of pain. He needed something strong and savage, fierce enough to take his mind off everything else. Snarling in annoyance, he unsheathed his fangs and sank them into Paul’s lower lip.

“Ow! Shit.” Paul’s head reared back—so quickly Damian barely had time to retract his fangs before they tore through the tender flesh. Paul pushed Damian away. “What the fuck’d you do that for?” He grumbled as he sucked his wounded lip between his teeth. His eyes were confused as they met the challenge in Damian’s stare, but, again, only for an instant. Then understanding flashed in those eyes.

Paul grabbed Damian by the shoulders. Their lips met in a punishing kiss, as Paul shuffled forward, roughly pushing Damian until his back was against the door. Damian’s hands closed on Paul’s waist. He ground their hips together. His denim-clad erection rubbed demandingly against the soft cotton of Paul’s shorts until Paul hissed and arched away from him. Frowning, he grabbed hold of Damian’s wrists and pressed them to the door, as well.

Now it was Paul who took control, kicking at Damian’s ankles to force his legs farther apart, pinning him in place with the weight of his upper body, curtailing Damian’s movements every way he could in a show of dominance that sent icy shivers of need racing up and down the length of Damian’s spine. His fangs ached and dripped and pulsed with hunger. Paul thrust one of his own, hard thighs between Damian’s legs, giving him something solid to rock against. Damian whimpered in pleasure and gratitude as Paul leaned in close and resumed kissing him, even more harshly than before.
This
was what he’d come here for tonight. This was
exactly
what he needed.

“
Gracias
, Pablito,” he murmured when Paul finally stopped for breath. “I needed that.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Paul’s eyes were shadowed and dark as he lifted his head and gazed at Damian in concern. “Seriously, D, what the fuck is up with you tonight?” His face turned tender as he brushed gentle fingers through Damian’s hair. When he continued, his voice was weary and sad. “You’re all wound up, baby. Has something happened? Tell me. What’s wrong?”

Damian shrugged and looked away. He was embarrassed by the boy’s sympathy—and by his own weakness. “Why should you think something’s wrong? Just because I dropped by unannounced? Must we stand on ceremony with each other after all this time? It’s been more than a few days since I’d last seen you, and I thought… But, perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it was a mistake to come here. Would you rather I leave?”

“Leave?” Paul snorted with laughter. “Yeah, right. Fuck that. You’re here now, you’re staying. There’s no way I’m letting you outta here anytime soon.” He ground his thigh against Damian’s crotch for emphasis. “You get me up like this in the middle of the night, you better believe there’s gonna be a price to pay. And you damn well better be planning on taking care of it and helping me get back to sleep—or else.”

“Oh, I see.” Smiling, Damian used his free hand to trace the bulge tenting Paul’s shorts. “So would this be the
it
that needs taking care of?”

“You know it.”

“And the
or else
of which you spoke, what would that entail?”

Paul grinned back at him. “Yeah, you fucker. You would ask that, wouldn’t you? Hell if I know, all right? But, if I need to, I’ll think of something. Count on it.”

“Very well. I accept your terms. Where do you want me? Here…or in your bed?”

“Bed’s fine. Unless…” Paul’s expression turned serious once again. “Are you really okay? ’Cause, if you’re not… We
can
talk about it first, you know. I mean, if you want. I’m not that big a prick. I hope.”

Damian frowned. “What do you imagine I want to talk about?”

“I dunno. You tell me. That’s what I’m asking. Whatever’s bothering you.”

“Oh, Paul.” Damian shook his head. “How many times must I say it,
chico
? There’s
nothing
I wish to talk about. Nothing at all.”

“Right. How stupid of me.” Paul pulled away, frowning in disgust. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Damian. “Shit, Damian. Man, you must really think I’m dumb, or something. I know damn well you didn’t come here just to get off, okay? Especially not with the weird-ass mood you’re in. If there’s something going on—and I’m pretty sure there is—I want to know about it. I think I deserve that much, don’t you?”

“What
mood
am I in?” Damian retorted. “And how do you know that’s
not
why I’m here? Getting off, as you put it, is a worthwhile goal. Is it not? And, as I’ve said, it’s been several days. Almost a week, in fact. Why should that not be the only thing I want from you tonight?”

“Oh, nice. Thanks. So, I guess, now you’re just trying to piss me off, huh?”

“Why should I do that? That would hardly be the mood I’d want
you
in, after all. Not at all conducive to getting off.”

Paul sighed. “Look, I know there’s more goin’ on here because I know
you
, all right? I also know it’s not so fucking late you couldn’t’ve hit one of the after-hours clubs, if getting laid really
was
all you wanted. So cut the crap, already, and level with me, D. What’s really going on? Why are you here?”

“It doesn’t matter what else is going on, Pablito. As I’ve already told you, I’m not here to discuss it. I’m here because I need a friend. Will you be that for me or not?”

“Depends. Friends ask questions, don’t they?”

“
Sí
, sometimes they do. But they also know when not to.”

“Damn it, D, that’s
not
fair!”

“No. It isn’t fair.” Damian slumped against the door and considered the boy’s charge. It was a petulant outburst, worthy of one of the twins, but it was valid all the same. “There are aspects of my life I can’t share with you, Paul. We’ve been over this many times. And, no it’s not at all fair to you. It is, however, the way things are. There’s nothing either of us can do to change it.”

Paul groaned. “I don’t understand what the hell you’re talking about.”

“I know you don’t.” Damian shook his head and sighed. “And I can’t explain that to you either. Either you accept it or not.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know.” They were out of options and, although Paul couldn’t know it, they were almost out of time as well. They only had a few more years together, at best. So why not make the most of it? Why not squeeze all the happiness from it they could—now, while time was still on their side? Why not make as many wonderful memories as possible for them both to look back upon? It was far too late for anything else. Too much time had elapsed now for Damian to attempt to erase Paul’s memories of their time together. Not that he even wanted to. “I guess we’re still in the same place we’ve always been.”

Paul’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What do you mean by
that
? No, wait, don’t you fucking tell me you’re leaving again. Is this another excuse? Is this some new reason you’ve cooked up to explain why you’d be doing me a favor if you suddenly disappeared? Shit, I knew it was too good to last. Are you really going to pull that crap on me again? I don’t fucking believe it!”

“Stop.” Damian shook his head sadly. “Calm yourself. That’s not it at all.” He couldn’t walk away like this, not with Paul thinking the worst of him. Perhaps it was selfish but he wanted Paul to think well of him, to remember him fondly when he was gone. Memories of the time they’d spent together—that was really all he had to offer the boy. More than anything else, he wanted those memories to be good ones. “I’m not going anywhere tonight, Pablito. I’m not leaving. Unless you want me to.”

Paul sighed. “Now, what’re you goin’ on about?” His voice sounded weary. “You
know
I want you to stay. Didn’t I just say so? The only place I want you to even be thinking about going tonight is bed. My bed, with me.”

Damian shrugged. “Very well, then. It’s settled. I’ll stay.”

Paul studied him for another long moment. “Good,” he murmured as he moved in close and cautiously pressed his lips to Damian’s once more. It was another tender kiss, soft and somewhat tentative, but Damian’s anger was spent. His mood was melancholy now, nostalgic, and he returned Paul’s kiss in kind.

Paul continued to move carefully, as though he was gentling a wild or skittish creature. He slid his arms around Damian’s shoulders slowly, prying him away from the door and easing him into his embrace. When Damian’s arms found their way around Paul’s waist, Paul breathed a deep sigh. He sounded relieved. They stood like that for a while, finding comfort in each other’s arms, trading soft words between the gentle kisses. Finally, “Let’s just go to bed now, okay?” Paul’s words were but a whisper against Damian’s lips. “We’ll talk about what’s wrong later. There will be a later, right?”

“
Sí
.” Damian nodded in answer. “There will definitely be a later.” It would be short, however, and “what’s wrong” was a subject they would not be discussing then either.

“So what did what’s-his-name do this time to get you so worked up?” Paul asked a short while later as they lay relaxed in bed. “Did you find out he’s been fucking around on you, or something?”

What’s-his-name
. Damian bit back a groan. They’d been down that road before, too many times for him to pretend not know to whom Paul was referring. He frowned as the bliss of afterglow slipped from his grasp. “What will it take to get through to you? My relationship with Conrad is not
anything
like you imagine it to be. And I do
not
wish to talk about it. Any. More.”

“Okay, okay.” Paul nodded impatiently. “I’m sorry. I believe you, all right? But, c’mon, D, I’m not stupid, you know. It’s obvious you’re upset and it has to be because of someone you’re hung up on. So, if it’s not him…”

“It’s not.”

“Well, then, I guess it’s gotta be another of your lovers. And, if that’s the case, then I really don’t understand. Why not dump them if they’re making you so unhappy? Why put yourself through this? You deserve better. Don’t you know I’d do anything to keep you happy if you were mine?”

Damian smiled. “
Gracias,
Pablito, but there’s no one else. I was just in a bad mood. Can’t we leave it at that?”

“What do you mean there’s no one else?” Paul asked, lifting his head to stare at Damian.

Damian shrugged. “I mean there’s no one else with whom I’m involved. No one for me to dump in order to feel better.”

“Since when? I mean, what do you mean by
involved
? How long has it been since you had someone else? Someone besides me.”