nowhere (21 page)

“I’m glad.” He smiled and his eyes were a fathomless deep green. Green was becoming my favorite color. He kissed me one more time, “Happy birthday.”

“Goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight,” he called, walking out to his truck, but waiting until I went inside before leaving.

Minutes later I crawled under my covers. It had been a long day. Before closing my eyes, I looked up at the ceiling. Thousands of little stars were shining. James had done this. It was another birthday present. I scanned the ceiling for the constellations that he had taught me. I found the Little Dipper and smiled, feeling safe. I hadn’t known that it was possible to love him more than I already did.

Dooner

The following two and a half weeks sped by. Every day I hurried home to eat dinner and then headed over to Mikayla’s. We’d sit on her porch, swim in our private swimming hole, or go for a ride in Old Faithful. One Saturday night we even went to see one of my favorite country singers, Kenny Chesney. Mikayla looked so damn hot that night it almost blew my mind. I smiled as I pictured her moving to the music in her short jean skirt, cowboy hat, and cowboy boots. We hadn’t had sex yet, but every time we were together it got harder and harder to hold ourselves back. Suddenly I realized I needed to get my thoughts under control and think about something else. I was standing in the middle of the guys’ locker room and I wouldn’t want one of the guys to look over here, see my erection, and get the wrong idea.

Coach opened the door and yelled, “Dooner, Tyler, and Casey, get your asses in here as soon as you’re decent.” Did this mean he had good news to tell us? We’d been working our butts off ever since he put us on suspension, following through with our plan to get the team in shape to play a passing game instead of a running game. Additionally, the animosity between us, both on and off the field, had disappeared. I was sure Coach had noticed. Hopefully he was going to lift the ban. The big opening game was only three days away. 

We got ready in record time. Nervously, I knocked on Coach’s door.

“Come on in,” he said. We stepped hesitantly into his office. We all had a lot riding on this game.

He motioned for us to sit down in the chairs facing his desk. I held my breath as Coach leaned back in his chair. “I’m going to give it to you guys straight up. I’m not happy about the fight that took place at the beginning of the season on my field.” He paused for effect.  “However, I’d have to be blind not to notice the change in you three. You’ve worked hard during practice and during your secret sessions…yes, I know about those.” He nodded his head. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this, but your team’s been pressuring me to let you all play in the opening game. You’ve earned their respect by being real team captains. You’ve taught them new plays to capitalize on their strengths. I’m proud of you. Your teammates want the three of you out on that field with them on Friday night, so I’m going to grant them their wish. Don’t make me regret it.” 

Finally I let out my breath. Those were the words I’d been waiting to hear for weeks.  I wanted to scream and do a victory dance, I was so happy.

“Thank you, Coach,” we said simultaneously.

“Go, get on outta here and tell the team.” He waved us out. “Dooner, hold up a second, I need to talk to you.” I wondered what this was about? I watched Tyler and Casey leave, closing the door behind them. Hesitantly, I sat back down on the edge of the chair. I heard the rest of the team celebrating in the locker room. Tyler and Casey must have told them the good news.

“What is it, Coach?” I asked, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt.

“I wanted you to know that I received a phone call last week. It was from the coach at Texas Tech. He said it looks like your application is all in order and he wants to come and watch you play as soon as possible. He may even be at the game this Friday. I need to know if this school is still your first choice or if you’ve changed your mind.”

“Texas Tech is still my first choice. I’d love nothing more than to play for them.”

“Okay, that’s what I needed to know.” He nodded his head in approval. “It looks like you’ll do fine out there this season. You’re more than ready. If all goes well, we’ll set you up with an official visit to Texas Tech.” 

“Thanks, Coach, for everything.” I wanted to say more, but words got caught in my throat. I knew he would understand what I meant. He had always been more than just a coach to me.

“Good luck, son,” he said as he opened the door. 

The locker room had cleared out by the time my conversation with Coach was over. I walked with an extra swagger in my step out to my truck. I couldn’t imagine how this day could get any better. I couldn’t wait to tell Mikayla the good news. I thought about driving straight over to her house, but my stomach growled. I’d tell her as soon as I’d eaten lunch.

When I got home my mom was at the kitchen table, writing out a grocery list. “Hey, Mom. Where’s Dad? I didn’t see his truck in the driveway.” I hung up my keys by the back door. I walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a yellow Gatorade.

“I think he went to the Moose Lodge. Today’s two for Tuesday and free pizza.”

“Makes sense,” I replied. My dad always ended up wherever there was a drink special.

“Did you need something?” she asked, sounding concerned.

It was rare that I asked about his whereabouts. “No, I was just curious.” The whole way home I thought about what his reaction would be when I told him I’d be playing in the game on Friday. I knew he’d be happy, but he’d find fault somewhere, ruining my good mood. He always had to bitch about something. He was never completely happy unless he was putting someone down. I was glad I could hold off until later to tell him. Also I’d wanted Mikayla to be the first one I told.

I sat down to eat the two sandwiches that my mom put in front of me. Nothing tasted better than a turkey sandwich with tomato after a grueling practice. I had almost finished one sandwich when there was a light knock at the back door. I jumped. Who could that be? No one ever came to visit. My mom looked just as surprised. “I’ll get it,” I said, pushing back from the table.

Mikayla stood at the door. “
What’s she doing here
?” I screamed inside my head. Her mom’s car was parked in the driveway, and it looked as out of place as she did. I thought that she understood that there was a good reason why I’d never invited her over. I began to panic, sweat beading on my forehead.

She stared at me, confused by my stunned silence. “Well, James, are you going to invite me in or are you just going to stand there?” Mikayla asked, her hands on her hips. I knew if I didn’t answer her soon, she was going to run. Maybe she should.

“Who is it?” said my mom, coming to see. When she saw Mikayla standing on our doorstep, she quickly gushed, “Come on in, sweetie.” She pushed past me and opened the door, “I’m sorry my son doesn’t have any manners.” She glared harshly at me. “I’m not sure what has gotten into him. I’m Mrs. Muldoon, Jimmy’s mom. And you must be his girlfriend, Mikayla. I’ve heard so much about you.”
What? I never talk about my personal life.

“Hi, I’m Mike,” she said, extending her hand out to my mom. My mom clasped it tightly.

I stood by, dumbfounded. I hadn’t said so much as hello. I was having a hard time believing any of this was real.

My mom led Mikayla to an empty chair at the kitchen table. Robotically, I sat back down in front of my half-eaten lunch. Suddenly, I’d lost my appetite. I stared at my plate.

“Have you eaten lunch? I’d be happy to make you something to eat,” my mom offered.

“No thank you, I just ate.” I could feel Mikayla’s eyes boring into me, but I didn’t look up. I was trying to figure out what to do. Should I pretend that it was okay for her to stop by? Or should I make up an excuse to get her out of here? My dad was probably going to be gone for awhile, but what if he came back early?

My mom seemed oblivious of the tension in the room. She babbled, “How about a cookie then? I just made them this morning. They’re Jimmy’s favorite, cowboy cookies.”

“Thanks, I’d love one.” Mikayla took one from the platter my mom set down on the table. “Umm…these are delicious,” she exclaimed, taking a bite.

“Thank you.” Picking her grocery list off the table, she said. “Well, I’d love to stay and get to know you better, but I was just leaving to go to the store. Jimmy here,” she said, patting me on the back, “eats me out of house and home.” She smiled. “It was nice meeting you. Now I understand why he’s in such a hurry to finish his dinner every night.”

“Mom,” I snarled, lifting my eyes from my plate. I glanced at Mikayla, but she wasn’t looking at me.

“It was nice to meet you too, Mrs. Muldoon.” She smiled warmly.

“Come back again real soon, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Have fun, kids. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” My mom grabbed her purse and left.

Mikayla stood. “I’m leaving too. It’s obvious coming here was a big mistake.” 

“Why’d you come?” I asked angrily, finally speaking.

“I had something exciting to tell you and I didn’t want to wait. I wanted you to be the first to know.” It looked like she was about to burst into tears. Instantly I felt like a jackass for upsetting her.

She had her hand on the handle of the back door when I reached her. I spun her around, “I’m sorry for being a jerk. It’s no excuse, but you caught me off guard. I don’t want you to go.” I took a deep breath. I knew if I wanted her to stay I’d have to be completely honest with her. “You’re the first friend to come over. Ever.”

“Really?” she asked, a surprised look on her face.

“Really. And I don’t just mean that you’re the first girlfriend I’ve had over. You’re the first friend of any kind to come over.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.” She had her hand on the handle again. I knew if I didn’t tell her the whole truth I’d lose her for good. Quickly I said, “I’ve been too embarrassed to ask anyone over, including you. My parents fight a lot and I never know when they’re going to go at it. It can get pretty ugly. There are even holes in the wall to prove how bad it gets sometimes.” I looked into her eyes and she wasn’t pitying or judging me. Her deep brown eyes were understanding. “But I’m asking you now-please stay.”

“Okay.” She nodded. It felt good to confide in her. I should have been more honest weeks ago. I loved her and she loved me. I should have known she could’ve handled the truth. She was tough. There was more to tell, and I was ready to tell her everything, but right now I wanted to hear about her good news and share mine with her.

“Come on back in the kitchen. I want to hear your good news.” I held her hand as we walked back to the table. We sat down again and this time I looked into her beautiful brown eyes. They were filled with excitement. “So, what is it?”

“It’s only the best news ever! Months ago I submitted a painting to be part of a highly recognized teen art exhibit in New York City, and they chose mine out of thousands of entries.  Also, they want my painting to be on the cover of the brochure and on some of the posters advertising the exhibit! Isn’t that amazing?”

“I always knew you talented. I’m so happy for you.” I squeezed her hand.

“This will help me get into Boston University to study fine art.”

“That’s great,” I said, with just a hint of sadness. Thankfully Mikayla was too excited to notice. The truth was I’d been so wrapped up in my own dream of going to Texas Tech that I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Mikayla might be going to a college thousands of miles away from me. It was going to hurt to be that far from her, but we’d worry about that later. Right now it was time to focus on the positives.

“The exhibit runs from October until February. There’s an opening awards ceremony that I’ve been invited to attend. I want to know if you could come with me? It would mean a lot to me if you were there.”

“Of course I’ll be by your side. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’m honored that you want me there.” I placed my free hand over my heart.

“Thanks.” She jumped up and hugged me.

I pushed my chair back and pulled her onto my lap. She giggled. “I got good news too today. Coach is letting me play in the opening game.” I smiled broadly. “And there might even be a scout there to watch me play.”

“That’s great. You’ve been practicing hard all summer. I’m sure the scouts will recognize your talent. Pops says you’re the best football player this town’s ever seen.” Whispering, she added, “He even said you could go pro someday.”

“Your pops said that, really?” Having him say that meant a lot to me. I respected his opinion.

“Yes, he did.” She laughed. “I’ll have to come and watch you play. I’ve never been to a football game before.”

“I’ll have to make sure I play my very best then. It’ll be great knowing that you’re in the stands, cheering me on.”

“It’s pretty cool that we both got great news today. We should do something special to celebrate.” She smiled devilishly, making me wonder what she was planning, although I had a pretty good idea. I wasn’t all that surprised when she said, “Why don’t you give me a tour?”

My mom and dad would both be gone for a while, so I figured what the hell. Nothing could ruin this perfect day. “Sure, I’ll show you around. But I’m warning you, there isn’t much to see.”

I quickly led her through the downstairs, which was small. It consisted of only three rooms, the kitchen, the dining room, and the living room. Except for the football trophies crowding the mantle, these rooms had little to do with me. I spent all my time in my room when I was home. I continued to hold her hand as we climbed the stairs to the second floor.

“This is my room,” I said, pulling her inside and closing the door behind us. I watched her as she looked around, trying to see what my room must look like through her eyes. There were several posters of the solar system hanging on the walls that I’d gotten as birthday presents when I was a kid, but other than that, it was pretty plain. I didn’t even have any dirty clothes on the floor.

“So what do you think of my room? Not what you expected, I bet.” I smiled nervously. I couldn’t believe Mikayla was actually in my bedroom.