Nurse Saxon's Patient (19 page)

‘
You
’
ll be driving us back,
’
he said as if in explanation,
‘
and I don
’
t think we ought to stay much longer or Roger will have arrived. I
’
d just like to tell you about
Tansy and myself ... if it
’
s possible to explain what happened
!
’

‘
I
’
d like to hear,
’
Julie said gravely, and waited until he had lit their cigarettes. Garth drew deeply on his before beginning to talk. When he did she was startled that his first reference was to herself.

‘
What happened after that Hospital Ball on New Year
’
s Eve, Julie?
’
he enquired.
‘
I watched for you,
all over the town. I hadn
’
t a great deal of time to spare—I was working like mad to get my designs and plans in before February, the first, which was the closing date for the Development Site competition—but what
tim
e
I had I spent t
r
ying to find you. I telephoned the hospital—twice—but the girl on the switchboard wasn
’
t very helpful when she found I wasn
’
t a relative or close friend. She said you were on duty the first time I rang, the second that you were at a lecture. She wouldn
’
t give me your address or anything.
’

‘
It
’
s against the rules,
’
Julie told
him
gently.
‘
It wasn
’
t her fault. All the girls in my group were working hard—just as you were doing—for their finals, and lectures were a routine part of living just then. That was why I couldn
’
t
...
make a date,
’
she ended
.

‘
But you would have done, if you hadn
’
t had those exams coming up?
’
Garth asked
th
en.
‘
How was I to know? If I
’
d known that I
’
d have waited. You made more than an impression on me that night, Julie. You must have known that.
’

‘
Yes.
’
She knew this was the time for truth between them.
‘
I thought I had. I
hoped
I had. You made quite an impression on me, too.
’
She gave a tired little
smile.
‘
T
hat was why it was such a shock—’
she
began, and stopped. She did not want to begin their renewed acquaintanceship with recriminations
!

‘
I thought you had no time for me.
’
There was misery in his flat, dejected tone.
‘
I didn
’
t know anything about you except that you were a nurse at St
.
Luke
’
s and that a certain sleek, well-groomed and prosperous-looking individual
—
whom I now know to be
as prosperous and as charming as he looked—Ian Greensmith—looked daggers at me when he saw us talking together. For all I knew he represented the emotional involvement in your life, and
I
thought he could well be the reason why you had no time for me.
’

‘
It wasn
’
t that at all
...’
Julie began, but it seemed as if he could not stop talking now that he had found what lay behind the blank space in his memory.

‘
The ni
gh
t I sent in my plans for the site,
’
he continued as though she had not spoken
.
‘
I did something I rarely do. I went out for a drink. In the bar I ran into a chap who works in the Borough offices. He was on his way to a sort of party-cum-dance, something to do with the department he worked for, and the friend he had invited to accompany him had let him down. He asked me to go with him, and I was feeling flat, deflated, I
’
d worked myself out over the plans and there was the tension of getting them off and all that sort of thing, I suppose. Anyway, I went along. Tansy was there. Their group, band or whatever she calls it, were providing the music and Tansy was their vocalist. Bob, the chap I
’
d gone with, knew her, and asked her over to our table for a drink. We got talking. She made a terrific fuss of me and I suppose,
’
he said with sudden self
-
disgust,
‘
I was flattered. She stayed with us, on and off, all the evening. When the dancing ended I took her home, and before I left her we had made
an
other date to see each other. That was the beginning,
’
he ended fiercely,
‘
and now we
’
ve come to the end.
’

‘
You must have
...
liked her a great deal.
’
Julie forced out the words, but could not bring herself to say
‘
you must have loved her
’
.

‘
I was flattered,
’
Garth reiterated strongly.
‘
I know that now. I must have known it then, although I wouldn
’
t admit it to myself. She made me feel important.
’
He made a vague gesture.
‘
I don
’
t know how to explain,
’
he said lamely,
‘
but she seemed impressed by what I did, by the things I talked about. I didn
’
t know until the night of the accident that she had bet with a
girl friend that she would make me see a girl
—
her
—
in
place of what she termed
‘
bricks and stones
’
and that all she was doing in becoming engaged to me was proving to her friend that she had won their silly bet.
’

‘
But you know now,
’
Julie said gently.
‘
I don
’
t know what you can say to Tansy
...
how you
’
ll explain you
’
ve recovered your bit of lost memory
...’

‘
Why did she want her ring back, Julie? And how did she get it?
’
Garth asked what she was hoping he would omit to ask.
‘
She flung it into the glove compartment. Just as you flung the lighter.
’
He gave her a quick smile as if to assure her that he was aware there was no connection between the two incidents.
‘
Who brought it out of there for her and when?
’

‘
Ian got it for her,
’
Julie said reluctantly.
‘
Do you remember when he went to look at the car and report to you on the extent of the damage? Tansy told us—told me—what had happened. She said she had not meant any of the things she had said that night and that all she hoped was that the memory of that dreadful quarrel had gone for ever. She was certain if she could be wearing her ring when you recognized her
...’

‘
But I didn
’
t, did I
?’
he put in quickly.
‘
I just accepted what Ian told me, that she was my
fiancé
e and that we had been out to a party together and this had happened on the way home. I didn
’
t remember even then, but I know at the time it seemed there was something wrong somewhere.
’

‘
But we were not to know that, were we?
’
Julie demanded, but she knew that he realized they
had
thought there was something wrong too.
‘
How were we to know what the quarrel was about?
’
She felt she had to justify her own and Ian
’
s behaviour because she had always felt secretly they had not really acted in accordance with the best interests of their patient, although at the time it had been difficult to decide just what those best interests were.
‘
Tansy was so upset
...
she wanted so much for you to speak to her
...’
But Tansy, she remembered, had been afraid. Afraid that when he recovered consciousness properly he
w
ould remember the last violent action of hers, just before the trailer hit them.

‘
Julie
—’
There was a different note in Garth
’
s
voice this time, a speculative note as though he were
trying
to reason something out for himself and did not like the conclusion at which he had been compelled to arrive.
‘
Did Tansy know
...
about my winning the competition, I mean?
’

‘
Not until after the accident,
’
Julie said slowly. It had not taken
him
long to arrive at the crux of the matter, once he had regained the lost part of his memory, she realized. This was more the man she remembered from the New Year Ball, a man whose brain was clear and knife-sharp, not a docile
patient, doing as he was told in order to get better as quickly as possible.

‘
Then that
’
s why,
’
he said triumphantly.
‘
She always wants the limelight. She can
’
t help it, and it isn
’
t a fault in her case, it
’
s part of the way she has to live. Publicity and such means a great deal to anyone earning their living in the way Tansy earns hers, good publicity, that is.
’

‘
But what has that got to do with it?
’
Julie was playing for time, trying to ease the situation, but he would have none of her careful handling now.

‘
A great deal,
’
he said shortly.
‘
I
’
d told her this would lead to other things. She wasn
’
t interested in the site or the scheme or anything of that sort, but she was interested in the newspaper headlines about the winner and the scope open to him afterwards. She knew there was to be another competition, open to architects all over the country, designing a new cathedral. Once, when we were quarrelling, she said she wouldn
’
t be surprised if I didn
’
t think I was good enough for that too, and when I said I might try she changed, all at once, coaxing me back to a good humour and making such a fuss. I thought then it was because she was genuinely
tr
ying to make up. Now I know it was because she too would have her share of publicity out of it if I entered
that
competition and won
...
and she intended to be there to share it.
’

‘
We ought not to be sitting in judgement on her like this,
’
Julie protested weakly.
‘
It isn
’
t fair. It isn
’
t giving her a chance to defend herself.
’

‘
Did she give me a chance to say whether I wanted to restart our engagement or not?
’
Garth demanded.
‘
She would never have wanted to see me again if I hadn
’
t won, I can assure you.
’

‘
She must
...
love you.
’
Julie brought out the words with some difficulty.
‘
She was really upset.
’

‘
Any girl would have been, having escaped death by inches,
’
Garth stated baldly.
‘
Don
’
t let that worry you, darling.
’
The endearment slipped out almost unnoticed by either of them.
‘
The last things she said to me, before she offered me back my ring, were bitter and to the point, but she meant them all right. I hadn
’
t been mu
ch
of a hit at the party we
’
d attended. I was strung up, waiting for news about the competition, and when I said I
’
d rather be at home, waiting for the news, she said I was selfish, a square—no,
’
he corrected himself,
‘
that came later after she had decided I was a drip and a dead loss at her sort of par
t
y. I didn
’
t mind any of
that
,’
he went on, obviously recalling the entire evening with all its hurts and stings,
‘
but when she began to call Aunt Lavinia stuffy and self-righteous and a self-opinionated prig I began to see red.
’

‘
It must have been dreadful ... for both of you.
’
Julie could well imagine Garth
’
s indignation on his beloved aunt
’
s behalf and Tansy
’
s own feeling that she and her friends had been slighted.
‘
The trouble is you
’
re both so
...
different
...
.
have different ideas about everything
...’

‘
We
’
re as far apart as the two poles,
’
Garth said flatly,
‘
and always have been. My engagement to her must have been due to unconscious resentment of the fact that you didn
’
t want to have anything more to do with me—or so I thought—coupled with the flattered feeling of being fussed over by someone who had her name in all the entertainment papers, sang on the television and so forth. In other words
’
—he gave a terse, bitter laugh—
‘
I was, in a way, I suppose, hypnotized by the glamour of her job and of Tansy herself. But not for very long
!’
Suddenly he turned in his seat to face her, taking her chin in his left hand and compelling her to meet his glance.

‘
I have no right to say what I
’
m going to say to you, Julie,
’
he said soberly,
‘
no right whatsoever, but I
’
m going to say it just the same. It
’
s you whom I love
...
you are the one who matters to me more than anything or anyone in the world, even more than Aunt Lavinia and Uncle Andrew, and I couldn
’
t ever have said that of Tansy
!
I don
’
t know how I
’
m going to put all this right, but I intend to, just as soon as I see Tansy again. I suppose I ought to see Ian Greensmith first. He could have prevented a great deal of
...
this misery by not getting the ring back for Tansy. He should have taken it out and kept it safely until I was recovered, but I know he had his own reasons for not doing just that.
’

‘
Don
’
t say
things
like that about Ian,
’
Julie said more sharply than she either intended or realized.
‘
I was the one who gave him Tansy
’
s message, I was the one who begged
him
to get the ring back for her, she was so unhappy.
’

‘
She
’
s an actress, in a sort of fashion,
’
Garth said, unrelenting.
‘
Julie,
’
his glance compelled her own,
‘
can you look at me and say with truth that it isn
’
t me you love?
’

‘
No,
’
she said honestly, horrified to find tears filling her eyes.
‘
But we mustn
’
t talk like this,
’
she protested.
‘
There
’
s Tansy to consider.
’

‘
Yes.
’
Garth released his hand from her chin and sat up straight.
‘
There
’
s Tansy to consider, I agree. We
’
ll go into that as soon as I see her again
...
and if Ian Greensmith calls before then I shall tell him the truth, that you love me and that he must never worry you again I Now, shall we go back to Woodlands?
’

Julie drove in silence. She felt utterly bereft of words. Yet, throughout her stunned surprise, throughout her own emotional shock endured this past hour, one fact stood out with wonderful clarity.
Garth loved her.
He had said so, and there had been a note in his voice which told her she had no reason to doubt him. But what of Tansy? Julie asked herself the question as she carefully turned out of the little lane which led to the development site and on to the main road. In her own way Tansy must love him too. Surely no girl would want to
c
li
ng on to a man because he had attained some small measure of distinction, especially a girl like Tansy Maitland, whose own name was printed on more than one record and song sheet and whose face was fairly well known on the television screen?

She stole a glance at Garth as she waited for the tr
affic
lights to change at an intersection of the road. This was a Garth she
d
id not know, but her heart seemed to turn over as she looked at him. He seemed suddenly quite recovered, a different person from the man who had been secretly worrying so much about the blank patch in his memory and what it might contain. What was it he had said about Ian Greensmith? That if he called again
‘
I shall tell him the truth, that you love me and that he must never worry you again
.’
But Ian had already told her he would never again ask her to marry him, but that he would always want her, if she ever changed her mind about him.

I wonder what he would tell me to do now? she asked herself, not wanting to return to the quiet of Woodlands and
Mrs.
Andy
’
s clear, all-seeing eyes with Garth in this mood and no definite plan between them. She cleared her throat and began tentatively: