Object Me: A Bad Boy Lawyer Romance (21 page)

W
hen you keep
secrets for so long, it feels as though a part of you has completely left your body when you finally reveal them.

I felt lighter, like I had removed a burden. I just hoped that she didn’t feel the burden knowing about my past. I trusted her, though. That must mean something.

I tried to watch Alexa’s facial expressions when I was telling her everything, but I couldn’t quite read what was going through her mind. Of course, she was shocked and curious.

My family drama was the stuff of reality television. In fact, my dad was once approached for a celebrity rehab show, but the deal fell through when my mom wouldn’t sign a release. They wanted to feature the whole family. It would have brought more money in, but it also would have humiliated us all in the process.

Alexa nodded as I explained things, but I wasn’t sure she could comprehend it all. I wasn’t even sure if she knew how things like bills and credit card debt even worked.

I knew her dad worked, but I don’t think she understood the concept of working overtime or having multiple jobs just to get by. I had overheard her in the past referring to middle class people as poor. We were poor and my dad was trailer trash. We were like the princess and the pauper.

Perhaps it was because I revealed a dark secret about my life, but suddenly, I felt too exposed. I grabbed a clean pair of underwear and shorts and pulled them on. I was exhausted. Between the intense, physical sex and the airing of emotional baggage, I was drained.

“Tell me more about your family,” I said, laying back and closing my eyes.

“You already know that they have a lot of money and like to control my life. What else is there?” she asked.

“I gave you the gritty details of my family life,” I argued. “Tell me your secrets.”

“Well, you already know that my father didn’t come from much but struck it rich with technology. My mom is from a wealthy family and has never worked a day in her life.”

“What exactly does she do all day? I’ve never really understood that part.”

“There are lots of ways to occupy your time if you have the funds. She spends a few hours every day gossiping, either at brunch, at the country club, or just on the phone. You also have to do occasional charity work to make it appear that you care about the welfare of others.

However, you do this in ways that display wealth. You hold charity balls and ask for $10,000 a plate. You pay for the addition of a new wing of the local hospital. People eat that shit up.”

“If your mom hates people from meager backgrounds, how did your parents ever meet?” I asked.

“He had money by the time they were introduced. If they had met just a few months earlier, they would have never gotten together.”

“But they love each other despite the money, right?”

“My dad adores my mom. I think he fears her, too. He can’t say no to her about anything. It’s borderline abuse, the way she controls him. She once let it slip that she believed marriage was a way for rich women to continue living their current lifestyle. I’m not convinced that she loves him in a conventional way. Arranged marriages appeal to her. Love is not a good enough reason to devote your life to someone. There must be money involved.”

“So what do you think about marriage?” I asked.

“I try not to think about it at all,” she joked. “But I definitely don’t share the same viewpoint.”

“That’s a relief,” I said. “I don’t want to get married until I’m sure it’s right.”

Finally, someone got it. I never understood why so many girls stressed out about finding future husbands in college. College was for preparing yourself for life success; not hitching yourself to a man’s future.

“I’m an only child, but I wish I weren’t,” she continued. “All of the focus has always been on me. It would have been nice to have another sibling to take some of the heat off of me.”

“Well, you don’t have any siblings that you’re aware of,” I joked.

“I kind of wish I did. Maybe we would have been able to fight back against my mom. She never let me do anything I wanted to do as a child,” she frowned.

“What did you want to do?” I asked.

“More than anything, I wanted to play sports.”

“Really?” I knew a lot of cheerleaders. Most were not into athletics.

“My mother said it was too dangerous, but she meant that she didn’t want me to ruin my good looks in any way. If I came home from elementary school with dirt on my clothes or messy hair, she would throw a fit. Any bruise or scrape was covered with her makeup so I never looked anything less than perfect.”

“She put makeup on you as a child?” That seemed pretty messed up.

“Yeah, you should have seen me when she entered me in pageants. I hated having to spend hours getting ready, just to walk around the stage and do a stupid dance. I wanted to play soccer and volleyball like the other girls, but she wouldn’t allow that kind of ‘rough play’.”

“So you didn’t play any sports at all?” The concept seemed foreign to me. Sports were my life.

“I did gymnastics to help my cheerleading. My mom put me in golf and tennis lessons when I was younger. She only compromised on sports that would suit me in a country club setting. I begged her to play contact sports, but she always said no.”

I felt sorry for Alexa. I just assumed that having money meant that nothing was off limits to her.

Now it seemed like everything was off limits to her. Sports were my outlet and my escape from all of the crap I endured at home. It was my ticket out of my poor childhood.

My mom supported everything I wanted to do as long as we had the money for it. Alexa had the money, but no support to do what she wanted.

“Sometimes, when my mom wasn’t around,” she said. “My nanny would throw around the football with me.”

I reached under my bed and picked up a slightly deflated football.

“Prove it,” I challenged.

She pulled back the covers, walked to the other side of the room, and threw a pretty solid spiral. I was impressed.

“I’m a bit rusty,” she defended herself.

“No, that was great,” I beamed.

“So yeah, I think my nanny took pity on me. She practically raised me. My mother used me as a trophy, parading me around at all the social events. She didn’t have much use for me otherwise.”

“That can’t possibly be true,” I interrupted. It was too horrible to be true.

“I don’t know anymore,” she sighed. “I just know that I wasn’t able to make many of my own decisions. She’s probably messed me up for life.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said. “You seem remarkably well-adjusted.”

“So do you,” she said. “But now my mom won’t let me choose who to marry. I’ve told you about Sebastian, right?”

“You told me some stuff, but I don’t know why your mom is so hung up on him. You would think that if you said no to him, she’d just find another suitor for you.”

“Well,” she continued. “My mom and his parents go way back. I think they had vacation homes in the same neighborhood. Once she heard that he was in law school, she wanted us to be together. Sebastian’s dad is a high-profile attorney, so naturally, he’ll join their firm. It’s a pretty sweet gig for him; all he has to do is scrape by in school and pass the bar exam and he’s at one of the nation’s top law firms.”

“Yeah,” I interrupted. “But what if he’s a terrible lawyer? Your mom has to account for the chance that he could be a dud.”

“Oh, it doesn’t even matter. He’s good for his money, and my mom knows it.”

“What’s this guy even like?” I shouldn’t be asking, but I was curious. I wanted to hear that he was terrible and she would never consider him.

“He’s not that bad,” she said, my heart sinking. “He’s a few years older than me. He’s always been nice to me, but that’s not saying much. I think he’s kind of arrogant. I also suspect that he’s not incredibly smart. Who chases after a girl who is clearly unavailable?”

I raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to catch what she said.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” she blushed. “I rejected him in a very public proposal. There’s no coming back from that.”

“I should hope not,” I responded. “But just imagine the story you could tell your children.”

She playfully smacked me in the arm. “That means I would have to have sex with him, and I’m not interested.”

“I’m starting to think that you’re more damaged than me,” I said.

“You might be right,” she agreed.

I never thought we would ever have anything in common, but the more I talked to her, the more the similarities became apparent. We were two people who had future goals and wanted to do things our way. We both had plenty of family drama that would ruin most people. Somehow, we managed to make it to our final months at an Ivy League school. Our futures were uncertain, but we were going to be okay.

There was a loud knock on the door.

“Is everybody decent in there?” Reg asked. “It’s been long enough. We’re opening the door. If you haven’t figured things out by now, you never will.”

The door swung open before we could reply and then both Sasha and Reg were standing in my doorway. Alexa and I were still sitting under the covers, with my arm around her.

“This is the most precious thing I have ever seen,” Sasha squealed. “I see you worked things out.”

“Yep, we’re good,” I said.

“Does this mean you’re officially a couple?” Sasha asked.

Alexa and I looked at each other.

I couldn’t answer for her. If it were up to me, I would say yes. I wanted to spend all of my time with her.

Alexa could sense my hesitation. She reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

“Yeah,” Alexa said casually. “I guess we are.”

Sasha shrieked with joy. “Finally! Everyone knew this was inevitable. You two were the only people in the whole world that didn’t see this coming.”

“Today has been exhausting,” Reg said. “I’m going to bed.”

“Wait, what time is it?” I said.

“It’s nearly ten,” he answered with a yawn.

I couldn’t believe it. Alexa had been by my side for over twenty four hours. It was great, but I was pretty exhausted as well. Also, I needed to leave my room to find food.

Alexa got up and grabbed her belongings that were scattered across my room. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she promised, giving me a quick peck on the lips.

Alexa and Sasha returned to their dorm. It didn’t seem real; we were a couple. I went from having her hating me to dating me in the span of one day. I thought that was pretty good.

W
hen I got back
to my dorm, I collapsed on the couch. Gia came running out.

“Sasha’s been trying to keep me updated, but I need more details. Tell me everything.”

How do you pack all of the day’s events into one neat summary? There were so many things that we said and did.

“How was the sex?” Gia asked before I could even start.

“How did you know about that?” I asked.

“I was in that dorm all day,” Sasha said. “You weren’t quiet about it.”

I blushed. I thought I did a good job keeping the noise to a minimum.

“It was amazing,” I gushed. There weren’t any other words for it. Just amazing.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Gia said. “And Sasha and Reg. It will be nice not to be the only one in a relationship around here.”

“So,” Sasha said. “When are you going to break the news to your parents?”

I groaned. I hadn’t even really thought about that. “Not now,” I said.

I tried to put the thought of my parents out of my mind. Otherwise, it would spoil a perfectly good night. I took a shower, finally able to work on the rat’s nest that was my hair.

I can’t believe Martin spent a whole day with me looking like that! Instead of putting on my regular pajamas, I pulled his big sweatshirt over my head. I pulled the neck of the sweatshirt up to my nose and took a deep inhale. It smelled heavenly.

I think I would have slept all day if I didn’t receive a phone call around ten o’clock.

“Good morning,” Martin greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, cheerfully.

“I want to see you sometime today. What’s your schedule look like?”

“I have classes from noon to five. You?”

“I’m going to work out with the football team today. Do you want to come watch? We can get food afterward.”

“Sounds good. We can get sushi,” I laughed.

“We’ll see. I’ll see you around five o’clock in the field house.”

This was our first official “date” if you could call watching someone else work out a date. I liked any opportunity to watch sports, so if dating Martin meant more of that, it would be fine with me. I wondered if he was going to tell anyone else about me.

It’s not like I needed our relationship to be kept a secret. There was no reason why people couldn’t know. I just didn’t want it to be widely discussed across campus. It was personal, and I wanted to keep him all to myself. Also, the quieter it stayed, the smaller the chance of my parents finding out and giving me a call.

I would have to tell my parents eventually. Even though my mom told me not to come home over the summer, I figured we would talk at some point in the near future. It sucked—I wanted to share my excitement with them, but it would only make things worse. I had to keep this to myself.

I also needed to figure out what the future would be like for Martin and I. Sasha invited me to stay with her family this summer in Chicago.

I was thankful to have a place to stay, but it meant being away from Martin. Long distance relationships were hard, and I didn’t know many who could pull it off.

After my last class, I walked to the field house. Martin waved at me the second I walked in. I found an empty area along the wall and sat down on the soft turf.

I hated when we had cheerleading practice in this building. There was always another team or two in here, making noise and taking up our space. One time, I was hit with a soccer ball while I was being lifted into the air. We changed our indoor practice spot after that.

The guys started running speed drills while Coach Wilson watched. I loved watching Martin run his drills. Outside of football, he constantly joked around and pulled pranks on people. He was hardly ever serious. When it came to football, he was a completely different person. He was focused and intense. He encouraged his team and pushed others to work hard.

It was odd seeing the team practice without the graduating seniors. Martin and Sam were the only ones from their class there, since they were the only ones entering the draft. I was confident Sam would find a home in pro football. He was a top recruit coming out of high school.

I knew that Martin wanted to be drafted to his hometown team, but I selfishly hoped he’d be drafted to a team nearby wherever I ended up.

“Hey Martin,” I heard Donny yell. “Did your girlfriend really come watch you work out today?”

I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t like hearing other people talk about me. I put my head down and pretended like I was busy with something on my phone.

“Yes, she did,” Martin said nonchalantly.

I could tell this wasn’t the answer Donny was looking for.

“Ooh,” Donny mocked. “Hey everyone, Martin’s got a girlfriend.”

“We know, Donny,” Sam said. “It’s not a secret.”

This made him even madder. For someone who thought he’d become captain, no one liked him enough to fill him in on new information.

“Do you love her?” he continued to mock. “Do you? Do you?”

“Yes,” Martin said, exasperated.

I blushed hard. I grabbed a book from my bag, and flipped through the pages, pretending like I couldn’t hear the conversation.

“I’m happy for you, man,” Donny said. “If the draft doesn’t work out in your favor, she’s always good for a paycheck. Why even bother playing, if she’s got you set for life?”

This struck a nerve. Martin lunged at him and Donny ducked, sending him into a padded wall.

“You have to know it’s not going to work out,” Donny panted. “You’re trailer trash. She’ll never love you back.”

Martin grabbed Donny and put him into a headlock. He took him to the ground. Coach Wilson grabbed Martin by the back of his t-shirt and pulled him off of Donny.

“Blocking drills, now!” Coach Wilson barked at the team, who had made a circle around their fighting teammates. “Thomas, Jackson, with me.”

Their coach pulled them to a secluded corner. Unfortunately, this was even closer to me. I ducked down even lower, hoping the coach wouldn’t notice or recognize me.

“What is going on?” Coach Wilson asked. “This is not the kind of behavior I want to see from my former captain and future captain candidate. Donny, if you can’t be trusted to keep the peace, how can you be the next captain?”

Donny’s smirk dropped from his face. I chuckled to myself.

“I haven’t announced it yet,” Coach Wilson continued. “This is my last year as coach of this team. My wife is sick and I want to be able to spend more time with her. I want to finish my career at this school on a high note. I need support from my past and future players to make that happen. Do you understand?”

Martin and Donny nodded quietly.

“Do you have anything you want to say to each other?” Coach asked.

“I’m sorry,” Donny said. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

Martin nodded. “I hope you learn how to be a team player. You’re good, but your attitude will get you nowhere.”

“Good,” Coach Wilson said. “Now let’s get back to work.”

Martin looked back at me as he ran to rejoin the huddle. He looked apologetic. I smiled back. No harm done.

I waited around on the empty field while he showered and changed clothes after practice. I was bored, so I did a few cartwheels and round offs.

“Looks like you’ve still got it,” a voice said from the door.

I ran over to Martin and gave him a kiss.

“I made reservations for a sushi restaurant a few blocks away,” I said.

“Oh, great,” he said sarcastically.

“Keep an open mind, I bet you’ll love it!” I said, linking my arm with his as we walked out to the parking lot, toward his car.

When we got to the restaurant, I ordered some of my favorite rolls for him to try. He picked a piece up, hesitated, and dropped it into his mouth. I waited patiently while he chewed.

“That’s not half bad,” he concluded. He piled more pieces on his plate.

“You should trust me on these things,” I said.

“I trust you,” he said. “Did you see what happened during practice today?”

“Yeah, I heard everything,” I admitted.

“I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed that you had to see that. I’m going to miss the team, but I will not miss Donny.”

“Me neither,” I said.

“I know we didn’t have a lot of time to talk about the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but I thought we could now,” he said, stuffing another roll into his mouth.

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” I said. “Graduation is coming up, and I’m planning on staying with Sasha since I’m not welcome home. I want to make things work, but it will be really hard if we’re apart.”

“Why don’t you come with me?” he asked.

“We would be moving really fast,” I said hesitantly.

“We don’t have to decide today. I just want you to know that’s an option.”

I nodded. I hadn’t really thought about staying with Martin over the summer. It seemed crazy that we would move in together after just a few months of dating. I knew I wanted to spend all of my time with him, though. Maybe it wasn’t the worst idea.

“If you decide to stay with Sasha,” he continued, “I’ll try to visit you as much as I can. But, you should know that I might be really busy over the summer. I don’t know how much time I’ll be able to spend with you.”

“It’s always good to have options,” I said.

We put off dating talk for a while and switched to his upcoming pro football combine. He would be working out and showing his skills to football scouts at the end of the week. I could tell he was really nervous.

That made me nervous for him, but I tried to fill him with confidence. He had a great season, but since we weren’t a big school, it was hard to catch the attention of scouts. He really needed to do well on Saturday to be a top pick.

When the check came, I instinctively reached for my credit card to pay the bill. Instead, I only had about twenty dollars in my wallet.

He noticed. “I’ll pay for it,” he covered.

“We’ll split it,” I compromised. After hearing about his money problems, I couldn’t let him start paying for all of our dates.

He walked me back to my dorm and pulled me in close when we reached my front door.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?” I asked again.

“I have homework and I should get some sleep,” he sighed. “Don’t be a bad influence on me.”

I giggled and kissed him goodnight. I grabbed his arm, stopping him before he walked away.

“Did you mean what you said to Donny?”

“That he’s a bad teammate? Yeah, absolutely.”

“No, the other thing—that you love me.”

He smiled and cupped his hands around my face. “Yes, I mean it. I love you, Alexa.”

I beamed. “I love you, too.”

He kissed me again and went home. I felt like I was floating above my body.

I know we promised that we wouldn’t fall in love, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted that to be the only promise I ever broke to him.