Office Affair (21 page)

Ben tunneled his fingers into her hair. “I’m so aroused right now, any touch is titillating. Yours and Will’s. But his bits don’t turn me on. You do.” And then there was no more talking. Just fucking. And kissing.

And pleasure. Raw, animalistic, wanton pleasure. And pain. More pleasure though. Way more. Enough to inspire another orgasm. It built inside Melissa, rose higher and higher with each carnal thrust. She thought she might burst from it. Thought the sheer bliss of having both men inside her might make her explode.

It was Ben who reached his peak first. When he cried out and spasmed inside her, his cock pulsing over and over as Will continued to fuck her, Melissa could hold back her release no longer. The intensity of Ben’s climax broke her. She loved it when he orgasmed. It sent her rocketing into another plane, a plane where pleasure and passion and rapture ruled.

She came. Came so damn hard. Her muscles clamped around the two cocks inside her, held them both tight, then, unable to resist the impulse, released them. Again and again she convulsed on those two penises, fully aware of the men she was sandwiched between. The one behind her, so sexy, yet so unknown, and the one beneath her, so dear and so familiar. And just as sexy. No, more so.

Ben and Will were making her come. Ben and Will had inspired a wicked, wanton, dirty orgasm, and Melissa loved every single millisecond of it.

As her cries echoed off the wall, Will shouted behind her. And then he too was coming, his cock throbbing in her arse as he took his release.

Their combined cries and groans bounced off the walls. The scent of sex filled the air. The smell of desire and lust and spent passion. Long moments passed before Melissa’s heartbeat returned to normal, before her world stopped spinning, before she was cognizant of where she was.

She’d slumped atop Ben, her breasts squashed against his chest, her belly pressed into his stomach. And Will was strewn atop her back, his chest and stomach resting above her, his arms flopping at her sides.

No one moved for a very long time.

Chapter Fourteen

Hours after Will left, hours after Ben had drawn a long, hot, soothing bath for her and washed away every trace of stickiness, Melissa awoke in Ben’s bed. She rolled over, seeking out his heat and strength so she could curl back up and fall asleep again.

But Ben wasn’t there.

She was alone, with only the doona to keep her warm.

With nothing to do but wait for him to return, she let her mind wander. Her breath caught as she relived the perfection of the evening. Physically, it had been an adventure, a journey into the forbidden. A journey steeped with pleasure, excitement, thrills and taboos. Already she’d filed it away in a little imaginary folder of incredible experiences.

Emotionally, the experience had been life-altering. It had changed something inside Melissa. Softened a part of her she’d believed had hardened forever—her heart. Weeks ago she’d lost that same heart to Ben and then done everything in her power to pretend she hadn’t. Now she’d let him into it.

It was time to stop denying the truth. Time to acknowledge that whatever was happening between the two of them was real. Real enough that Melissa was having massive internal debates. She was rethinking her decision to forego a social life in favor of work and questioning her determination to not become involved—long term—with a man.

After tonight, she knew for sure she wanted Ben for more than a temporary fling. She wanted him for her happiness, her contentment and for her peace of mind. He’d become her reason for waking up in the morning and her reason for looking forward to work. He’d become everything she’d never allowed into her life, and now that he was there, now that he was a part of her, she never wanted to let him go.

Ben’s generosity took her breath away. He’d organized the entire evening. Set it up for her. He’d put her pleasure before his own so she would experience everything she’d secretly longed for and never allowed herself.

Sure, he’d had threesomes before—with women he didn’t care about. But Ben cared about Melissa. He’d told her as much. Told her he loved her. Wow. What a way to show it.

How could she not want the man in her life on a permanent basis?

Sleep eluded her. After what she’d done tonight with Ben and Will, Melissa needed the comfort and the security of Ben’s embrace. She rose, found one of Ben’s work shirts on the chair and slipped it over her shoulders, buttoning it just enough that it wouldn’t fall off. She inhaled, loving the way Ben’s scent enveloped her. Then she padded through the flat, looking for her lover.

The anticipation of finding him warmed her belly.

He sat in the dark lounge, in the same seat Will had occupied earlier. He didn’t seem to notice her crossing the room, and when she sat beside him, he didn’t acknowledge her presence. Surprised, she curled into his side, like she’d wanted to do in bed, and soaked up his body heat. “Hey, you.”

Ben didn’t answer.

There was an unexpected distance between them. An uncomfortable one. Almost as if Ben had pulled away from her emotionally.

She wasn’t sure how to breach the chasm.

“Ben?”

“Mm?

“You okay?”

“I guess.”

He guessed? “You wanna speak about it?”

Silence.

Mel hesitated, unsure what to do next. Ben was never this unresponsive with her. “Can’t sleep?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“It’s lonely in your room without you.”

Ben sighed. “I’m sorry, Mel. I’m just not up to making love at the moment.”

She pulled away from him, stung. “I didn’t come looking for you so you could fuck me. I came here because I missed you. The bed’s empty without you.”

He didn’t try to pull her back. “My mistake. I apologize.”

Distant. He was so aloof. She wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it. She stared at him, trying to make out his expression in the dark. It was impossible. “Would you like me to leave?”
God, say no. Please
. “I could go home.”

Ben shook his head.

“You sure? It would give you some space.” He may have said no, but he acted as though distance was exactly what he needed. Even so, her offer almost choked her. For weeks Ben had attempted to close the space between them, and now that he’d achieved that closure, now that Melissa wanted to be as close to him as possible, he seemed to have pulled away.

Fear and hurt stabbed at Melissa’s belly.

What if he didn’t want her anymore? What if he’d gotten all he could from her, shared her with his friend, and now thought it was time to move on? Time to make her into a memory, just like he had with that first woman he and Will had shared. The woman from the pub.

Or maybe she was just being paranoid. He hadn’t exactly pushed her away or walked over to another seat. He just wasn’t being as attentive as usual.

“I don’t need space.”

Okay, then what did he need? She didn’t know, but she did know what she needed, and that was to show her gratitude to him. “I wanted to say thank you. For tonight.” And for every other night he’d been with her. Fought for her.

“Tonight?”

“For what you did. Inviting Will to join us. It was…” She stumbled, seeking the right word. “It was amazing. Unbelievable. I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life.”

Ben’s entire body stiffened. His only response was to shift further away from her.

She tried not to let his coldness affect her. “It was incredibly generous of you. If the situation were reversed, I’m not sure I’d have been so willing to share.” Scratch that. If Ben had been interested in another woman, Melissa would have been green with jealousy. She’d have wanted to claw the other woman’s eyes out. And probably Ben’s too.

Ben shrugged, his body still rigid. “Whatever, Mel.”

Whatever?

That was his only response? What on earth was going on? Why was he acting like this? Hurt suffused though her, scraping at her heart. The warmth in her body seeped away.

She stood up. Perhaps being in separate rooms would be better. She wasn’t ready to leave his flat. Not after everything that had happened between them, and not after she’d established how much she wanted him in her life. “I, er, I think I’ll make some tea. Would you like some?” She could use a mug. Maybe a hot drink would warm her up. Maybe it would warm them both up—and the frigid atmosphere in the room too.

“No thanks.”

Melissa waited another few minutes, but when Ben still made no attempt to talk, she gave up. She walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. If after a drink he was still so aloof, she’d leave. She didn’t want to feel alone at her lover’s place. She could go home to experience that. At least there she’d have all her comforts around her.

She stretched as the kettle boiled, her muscles pleasantly stiff, her body thoroughly used—and pleasured. Ben was insane if he thought she’d sought him out to make love again.

She’d had two men inside her tonight. That was more than enough activity for any woman for one night, thank you very much.

But perhaps she deserved Ben’s assumption. Hadn’t she approached him to fulfill her sexual needs? Hadn’t that been a pattern of behavior she’d developed over the past few weeks? Ben had every right to think that when she came looking for him all she expected was sex.

And yet tonight that was not what she wanted at all. She wanted to be held by him. Comforted. Soothed. She wanted to feel the reassurance of his affection for her. She wanted his love.

No, she craved it. Like an addict craved a fix.

Melissa sipped her tea alone at the kitchen table. The drink warmed her from the inside, but it didn’t prevent the chills that sprang up on her skin as she made her way back into the lounge. Ben hadn’t moved. Not an inch. And when she called his name, he didn’t respond.

Pain lanced through her chest. “Please, Ben, I’m floundering here. I don’t know what to say or how to act. Help me out. Tell what’s going on. Tell me why you’re acting like this.”

“Acting like what?”

“Aloof. Distant. I-I’m getting a strong sense y-you don’t want me here.” That was it exactly.

Ben didn’t want her there.

The knowledge hurt like hell. It crushed her ribs and squeezed her lungs. She hated how all the happiness that had settled inside her evaporated. Hated the insecurity his indifference wrought in her. Hated how uncertain she was—about herself and Ben’s feelings for her and her very reasons for being here. She hated it all.

Unexpected tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them back, swallowing hard over the lump in her throat.

He snorted. “Not wanting you is hardly the issue.”

She held out her hands in desperation. “Then what is?”

He didn’t answer, merely shook his head.

“Talk to me. Please.”

“Nothing to say.”

“Nothing? After everything that’s happened between us, you have nothing to say?”

Another shake of his head.

Melissa waited another moment or two, hoping against hope Ben would elaborate. He didn’t. Nor did he look at her. She might as well have been invisible.

There was nothing left to say or do. She’d run out of options. Holding her shoulders back and her spine straight, Melissa did her best to hide her misery. She collected her shoes and jacket from near the front door, and pulled them both on. Her garters and thigh-highs could stay on the floor in the bathroom. She had no need for them now.

“I-I’m going home.” Why she’d announced her intentions, she had no idea. Ben obviously wasn’t interested one way or the other.

Her heart sank, and the tears were back. She had to clear her throat before she could speak again. “Well, goodbye, then. Th-thank you again for earlier.”

No response.

“I guess I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.” If he even wanted to see her. Judging from his behavior now, that seemed unlikely.

It was only when her hand touched the door handle that Ben finally spoke again. And when he did, he said the last thing she’d ever have expected.

“I shared Sienna with another man.”

She spun around. “What did you say?”

“I fucked my fiancée at the same time as another man did.” He gave an empty laugh. “Although, technically, she wasn’t my fiancée anymore.”

So, she’d been wrong. She wasn’t the first woman he’d cared about that he’d shared with another man.

Every muscle in Melissa’s body tensed. She so did not want to hear about Sienna right now. Not after everything she and Ben had been through together. Not after everything they’d done together. Everything they’d shared. Not after she’d realized she wanted his love and affection—more than she wanted her next breath.

But suddenly his distance made sense. He’d been thinking about
her
. About Sienna. And Melissa wasn’t Sienna. She never would be. Perhaps Ben was realizing that all too clearly. Perhaps he’d compared the two of them and found Melissa lacking.

“Is there a reason you’re telling me this?”

He nodded. “So you’ll understand.”

“Understand what?”