Offside (37 page)

“So, if she keeps it all quiet,” I recapped, “then he’ll pay her off? Sounds to me like he’s stringing her along.”

“I think so, too,” Nicole said with a nod, “but Sophie refuses to see it that way.”

“He’ll never pay her shit.”

“I know,” Nicole said softly, “but she still thinks she loves him. I know she loves the baby, and since Greg and I are the only people who know about him, they’re kind of short-handed when it comes to help. I babysit when she has to work because Ron has all these council commitments he can’t miss. It’s not like he could take Timmy to a meeting or anything.”

“So why the disappearing act?” I asked.

“Sophie works at the diner,” she told me. “Sometimes when the loggers come through or a bus stops or something, they get slammed and call her in. She can’t tell them she can’t make it because of the baby, or everyone would know.”

“So Rumple to the rescue.”

“Something like that.” Nicole gave me a wry smile.

I relaxed against the couch, my fears abated. I still felt like a shit for being so paranoid, but was so glad it wasn’t what it appeared to be. I couldn’t help but feel good overall.

“All right, Malone,” Nicole said as she sat up straight. “Greg said he gave you some of his own ground rules, and now it’s time to talk about mine.

I took a big breath and tried to calm the sudden attack of nerves. I looked up at Nicole where she was sitting on the couch, a whole cushion away from me, and gave her a nod to go ahead.

“No more spying,” she said definitively. “If you want to know something, you ask me. Chances are I'm going to tell you. And I don't just mean spying on me. Don't go looking up anyone else just because I'm not telling you something.”

I nodded more vigorously. I could deal with this.

“Tell me what you're thinking if it's important to us,” she said.

My hands were getting all sweaty for some reason. I rubbed them on my thighs and tilted my head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean if something is bothering you, tell me it's bothering you. Tell me why some things upset you so much. I want to understand.”

She was making a pretty big assumption that I had any idea what was going on in my own head.

“What if I don't understand, either?” I asked.

“Then tell me anyway,” she said, “and I'll help you figure it out.”

I felt my mouth turn up in a bit of a smile. I liked the idea of figuring shit out with her.

“I'm going to tell you if something is bugging me as well,” she promised, “and I'll try to do it before it becomes too much of a big deal.”

“Okay.”

“We both kind of have a temper,” Nicole said a little sheepishly. “That isn't going to help. I'll try to keep mine in check, okay?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I'll try, too.”

“Good.” Nicole gave me a real smile then and reached over to give me a quick hug. She backed off again and leaned against the back of the couch.

I tried to process everything she had said, not sure if I was completely successful or not. What she was saying wasn't that complicated, but I still didn't know how this was going to change anything. Nicole interrupted my internal ramblings.

“You have to trust me, Thomas,” she said. Her voice softened and she leaned toward me a little. “I don't know that much about relationships either, but I know we have to be able to trust each other. If we don't, it's not going to work. At least, that's what Greg keeps telling me.”

“I do trust you,” I said, but even as I said it, I wasn't sure exactly what it meant.

“Then act like it.”

“How?”

“If there is something I'm not telling you, there is a good reason for it. If it's something important that you need to know, you have to trust that I'm not going to hold back.”

“Okay,” I replied. I didn't really know what else to say. The whole subject had me on edge, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

“You thought I was going to visit some guy, didn't you?” she said.

“You were.”

“He's an infant.”

“I didn't know that.”

“And you didn't trust me to be with another guy our own age.”

I thought about that one for a minute. Was that it? It didn't seem right.

“I didn't know if
he
was trustworthy,” I told her, “not you.”

“It's kind of the same thing there, Thomas,” she said. “You have to trust me to make the right decisions for myself, too.”

I had no fucking idea what that meant.

“I'll try, I guess,” I said.

“Thomas?”

“Yeah?” I looked up at her.

“Do you want this to…um…work?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you and me—us. Do you want us to work?”

I looked at her, froze, and I tried to think about what it would be like if it
didn't
work. What school would be like—seeing her, but not
being
with her? Would I want to go back to playing soccer without her watching me?

Fuck no.

“I want it to work,” I told her. “I do. I don't know what
it
really means, but I want it to work.”

“So do I,” she replied. “As far as what that means exactly, we'll figure it out together, okay?”

I nodded. Together sounded good.

Nicole sighed and ran her hands through her hair at the same time I did. She giggled a little, recognizing the gesture, and I wondered if she had always done that or if she picked it up from me.

“I'm going to go home,” Nicole said. “I need…a little space right now, okay?”

I knew my expression gave away my thoughts at the whole idea, but I also knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep at her house all the time. Dad would be back in a couple of days, and who knew how that was going to complicate everything? I hadn't even thought about how I was going to deal with that.

He’s going to make me dump her.

“Okay,” I said softly. I looked down at my hands on my thighs.

Nicole reached out and put her hands on top of mine.

“Come pick me up for school still?”

“Sure.” I tried to smile, but I didn't pull it off too well.

Nicole reached out and touched the side of my face.

“Have you eaten anything?”

“Not really.”

“I'll call my dad to come get me and then fix you something.” She stood up and started heading for the kitchen.

“You don't have to do that.” I jumped off the couch and followed her. “I can fend for myself. I can drive you home, too.”

“I know you can,” she replied. “I want to make you dinner, and I want Dad to pick me up.”

I couldn't really argue with her, especially since the whole conversation was making my stomach growl. She dug around in our pantry, mumbling about the shit within, and ended up finding spaghetti and sauce to make. Once the pasta was drained, she made up a plate for me, and a few minutes later Greg’s cruiser appeared in the driveway.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” she said.

I reached out for her, and she didn't pull back when I wrapped my arms around her.

“Thanks for dinner,” I said. I kissed her softly but didn't try to press for anything else. If she needed space, I would give it to her—even if it did drive me bonkers.

She left me to go back home, but I didn't feel that bad about it. I was going to miss sleeping next to her tonight, but we were going to work everything out together, and that was the thing that really mattered. At least, I thought it did.

Shakespeare said, “…out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.” Somehow, Nicole had become my safe flower.

Now, how could I ever manage to give that up?

CHAPTER 20

SET PIECE

I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I had seen the day pass through my mind so many times, it was starting to blur my mental vision. Even as Nicole’s rules slid around in my brain, all I could really think about was what to do when Dad got back home.

It wasn’t just a matter of not being able to sleep in her house or in her bed anymore. He said I had to dump her, and if I didn’t, he was going to find out. There was just no way of keeping anything like that from him long-term. Even if I dared try to hide if from him for a while, eventually he’d catch on. Once he did, he wouldn’t stop at just punishing me.

What the fuck am I going to do?

I had no idea.

So, I did what any normal teenage boy would have done.

I refused to think about it.

I was up early the next morning, took my run, had a shower, and snarfed down some cereal before I went to pick up Nicole. I was really early, but she was ready anyway. We headed to school, and I parked near the soccer field.

“Got your soccer bag?”

“Seriously?” I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

She chuckled and shook her head.

“Don’t leave home without it?”

“Not much, no,” I replied.

“Let’s play.” Nicole opened up her door and headed out toward the field. I grabbed the ball out of my bag and jogged through the fog to catch up with her.

“You really want to play?” I asked.

“Why not?”

I shrugged. Why not, indeed?

We couldn’t actually play a game with just the two of us, so I started juggling and then kicked the ball toward Nicole. She took a quick step back and tapped the ball with the inside of her foot, then her knee, then the outside of her foot before sending it back to me. We went back and forth for a while, and I was seriously impressed with her ball-handling skills.

That thought distracted me enough that I missed the damn ball.

I let it roll off behind me, took the couple of steps I needed to reach her, and wrapped my arms around her waist. I pulled her close to me and planted a big kiss on her lips. Her hands went up around my shoulders, and I started kissing across her jaw until I reached her ear.

“You are fucking phenomenal,” I told her.

“Hmm…” she hummed against my cheek. “You ready for your game tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“What are you going to do after the game?”

“I dunno,” I said. My lips started making their way down her neck. I pushed the collar of her sweater out of the way a bit so I could reach more skin. “Probably some party or something.”

“Is there one the team has to go to?” she asked.

I pulled back.

“What are you getting at?” This seemed like more than just normal questioning.

Nicole looked off to one side, shrugged one shoulder, than raised one eyebrow.

“Greg’s working a double starting Friday evening,” she said. “You want to come back to my place after the game?”

“Sure,” I said. Being at her place was better than any lame-ass party anyway. “But what difference does it make if Greg’s there?”

Nicole rolled her eyes at me.

“You do know he gave me the same rule, right?” she said.

The same rule? He told her not to hurt me like she had been hurt? No, that didn’t make much sense…

Oh.

Oh, wait!

Sex!

He said not while he was in the house.

Was Nicole suggesting what it sounded like she was suggesting? My heart began to pound in my chest, relocating all the blood in my body to my cock.

“Do you mean…um…you want to…?” I couldn’t complete the sentence. My palms were starting to sweat again. When the fuck did that start happening?

Nicole cuddled up against my chest, tucking her head in.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “At least he wouldn’t be in the next room or possibly walking down the hall to peek in at us. Maybe just…see what happens?”

“Yeah,” I said and then cleared my throat so I could say it again, only audibly. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Cool.”

Tilting my head to get a better angle, I looked down at her. Her cheeks were kind of tinged with pink in the soft morning light as the sun rose up over the trees. I ran my finger over one of her cheeks and smiled to myself. I took a couple of deep breaths to gain some control over various self-minded parts of my body and sighed out the last one.

“I suppose I should do the right thing and get you to class on time?”

“It would probably be a good idea,” Nicole agreed.

I picked the ball up and tucked it under my arm. I reached out, took Nicole’s hand in mine, and we walked to the building with our arms swinging between us. There were other kids arriving in the parking lot, and lots of them already inside the school. I barely saw them because my eyes were on my Rumple.

I looked down at our clasped hands as Shakespeare rattled through my brain—“now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.”