Old Flames Never Die (Valentine Mystery) (20 page)

Her eyes hardened. “Do you know how
insulting that is? It's bad enough that you dismiss all my concerns about Liv,
but now you think I'm incapable of learning about Charles Danforth's—not Liv's—property
on my own. Or that I'd use you?” She turned away from him, and went to sit on
the edge of her bed. She looked exhausted, mentally and physically.

All of a sudden, he felt like a bigger
jerk than he already was. “No. Of course you're capable. I'm sorry. And I don't
dismiss your concerns. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I don't think your
ideas have value. And while I'm apologizing, I'm sorry for not letting you know
I went out of town. Or calling you back today.”

“Cora took your phone?”

He nodded. “But that's not an excuse.
The truth was I needed some time away to think things through.”

“What things?”

Jack moved a chair so he could sit near
her and take her hands in his. “Did you know that when I saw you again in
February, I'd been planning to sell my house?”

“I think I remember you saying something
about that.”

“But then I found you again, and
convinced you to be with me,” he said with a weak smile. Hers was just as weak
back. “The point is the only reason I'm still in Jefferson Tavern is you.”

“Is it so bad here?”

“Right now? Yes. The Worthingtons are
sucking the life out of me and the town thinks I'm a cheater.” He purposefully
didn't mention the fact that she'd moved out on him.

“And what about me?”

“I love you.”

“But you think I believe like the town
does?”

“No. I think you know I haven't cheated
on you. But I think you worry about it. And in the beginning I suppose you had
that right, considering your experiences in the past. But now Tess, after all
this time, you have to know how I feel about you.”

“I do. And I'm not worried that you'll
cheat with Liv. Or anyone.” Jack shook his head. Then why was she here, in a
hotel? It made no sense to him. “I just don't think we're ready for that much
commitment,” she explained.

It was like a punch to the gut. He was
110 percent committed, but she wasn't.

“We are still learning about each other,
how to be around each other.”

“That's bull!”

She jerked back, and in doing so her
hands slipped from his.

“The only thing different in this new
version of our relationship is that you're not at my house. We still see each
other. Hell, we still have sex. The only thing we don't do is sleep in the same
bed and wake up in the same house. How is spending every night together somehow
too committed compared to everything else we do?”

He could see in her eyes that she was
unsure of her own thinking.

“Take this thing with Liv,” Tess said.

“What about it? I thought you said you
believed me.”

“I do. But ever since it started, we
haven't been able to communicate. We just end up arguing over the same things.
It's never resolved.”

“We can agree to disagree.” 

She took a deep breath and something
about the look in her eyes told him she had a few unpleasant things to say to
him.

“I know that you're faithful. What
bothers me is how easily you dismiss my feelings that she's bad news for you.
You believe her over me.”

“I'm not choosing to believe one over
the other.”

“Aren't you?”

The tension snapped and anger took over.
He stood and began to pace the room. “So you want me to take your side just
because we happen to be in love? I'm not a doormat, Tess.”

“No. I want you to at least consider—”

“Being in love doesn't mean we can't
have differing beliefs or see things differently.”

   “I know.”

   “No, I don't think you do. I haven't
once asked you to stop working with Daniel even though you know I don't like
him. And I haven't asked you take my side on this issue.”

   Tess bit her lip and he thought he'd
made his point. “I don't want you to do something against your conscience. I
just don't understand why what she says has more merit than what I say.”

“It doesn't,” he shot back. Why did she
always have to question his love, his loyalty towards her? “Tess, you have yet
to present me with any evidence that makes me think she's involved.”

“My instinct doesn't count?”

“You of all people, you know that what
you think doesn't mean anything if there is no proof. The so-called evidence
you and Daniel have is even more circumstantial than what the police had when
they accused me of killing Asa. And I didn't do it. I'm giving her the benefit
of the doubt because she'd a friend and I believe her.”

“We aren't in court, Jack. I shouldn't
need proof with you.”

The truth of her words sent a wave of
guilt through him. But it wasn't enough to make him acquiesce. He'd done too
much of that already with her and he didn't like how it made him feel.

“You don't trust me,” she said.

“Trust? You don't trust me either. You
think I'm so gooey-eyed over her that she'll lead me to who knows what. I'm not
an idiot, Tess. I know Liv's shortcomings. I'm a big boy who knows the
difference between right and wrong.”

“You don't trust that maybe there is
something to my instincts about her.”

“I believe you see discrepancies in her
story and think there is something to it. But that doesn't mean Liv's guilty.
I'm sure your instincts have been wrong before.”

Her eyes went dark as they looked into
his. “Yes, they have.”

He knew she wasn't referring to Liv and
it felt like a stab in the heart. “Have some compassion, Tess. She just lost a
baby and now her husband. She may seem shallow, but she is a human being.”

Tess stood, turned her back to him as
she went to the restroom. He wondered if she was going to lock herself in. For
some reason, it pissed him off even more. He followed and found her splashing
water on her face. Last night they'd made love over that sink. It felt like a
lifetime ago.

“I don't want to talk about it anymore.”

“Why? Because I won't drop to my knees
and beg you to forgive me for believing Liv's story? Or is it because she's a
woman I used to sleep with? Is that the problem, Tess? Every time her name
comes up are you imagining me in bed with her?”

He saw surrender in her eyes, and knew
he should stop. But he forged on. “You want something from me, Tess, that you
aren't willing to give yourself. At every chance you question my feelings for
you. I'm willing to do just about anything to prove my love for you, but I'll
be damned if I'm going to give up my own beliefs and sacrifice a friend just to
appease your insecurity.”

He had gone over the line. But he was
tired of being a schmuck. He'd gone this far, he decided, he might as well go
for broke.

He stepped towards her, invading her
space. To her credit she didn't shrink away. “Here's the deal, Tess. Either you
love and trust me and know that I love and trust you, and you'll pack up your
things and return home with me now, or you don't.”

She didn't say anything, but she didn't
have to, it was in her eyes. He shook his head, waited a beat just in case. But
she only stared at him.

“Fine. I'm done.”

A part of him thought, hoped, that she'd
come after him as he headed out the door. He even let the first elevator pass,
giving her a chance to come to her senses, and grab hold of what they had,
could have together. But she didn't come. She didn't even open the door to see
if he'd really left. When the next car arrived, he stepped in. As the elevator
dropped to the lower floors, so did his heart.

He got in his car, but couldn't go home
to an empty house, so he drove. When he couldn't stand the solitude any longer,
he went to the hotel. He took the elevator up and knocked on the door.

“Jack?” Liv said.

~~~~

Tess' first instinct was to follow him
and beg him to take her back. Her second instinct was to follow him and tell
him to go to hell. But she didn't do either. At first, she was too stunned to
move. Then numbness paralyzed her. Was it over? Had he left for good? Or was
this just another spat and he'd be back?

It was another indication that there
were issues between them. And an ultimatum wasn't the solution. Still, she knew
that she was part of the problem as well. Telling him she didn't want to talk
about it contradicted her goals. She also understood that it probably did feel
to him like she was stepping away from the relationship.

But why had he reacted so strongly? Jack
was an emotional man, but this seemed over the top for him. They frequently
butted heads and lately, every time they did, it caused cracks in their
relationship. And it was always about Liv. Tess wondered if maybe he was right
and she was insecure. Or did he still have feeling for Liv that he didn't admit
to?

Either way, the result was the same.
He'd left and Tess felt the emptiness of her life overwhelm her. How could love
so completely devastate a person? It angered her that it could. She was a
strong, independent woman alone in a hotel room with her heart shattered in a
million pieces.

This love thing was more hassle than it
was worth. Sure, the good times were good. Okay, spectacular. But the lows were
too painful to bear. Why she'd ever let him talk her into believing in love
again was beyond her. Now might be a good time to leave and start over, again.
Let Liv get away with murder or worse, get Jack implicated.

She could take her nest egg or even
access her trust and go…somewhere else. She was intelligent and resourceful.
She could start over in a new town. She'd done it before, more than once. She
could do it again, as soon as she had the energy to pick up her heavy heart off
the floor. If she didn't die of heartache, she'd rebuild her life.

Except she didn't want to rebuild her
life. She wanted Jack. It's what she'd always wanted. Hadn't she second-guessed
her decision to move out since the moment she showed up at the hotel? He'd been
right that virtually nothing had changed in their relationship since she had
moved out, including finding a way to bridge the gap that was between them.
Maybe he was right. Maybe the only way to work through it was to jump in and
swim.

Tess pulled her suitcase from the closet
and began to pack. And she hoped that she'd be welcomed at Jack's place with
open arms.

~~~~

“Come in,” Liv invited, standing aside
so Jack could enter her hotel suite. “You don't look good. I think the mini-bar
is stocked. Want a drink?”

“Yeah sure,” he said entering her room
and wondering why he was there.

“Let's see,” she said pulling a handful
of little bottles out of the box-sized fridge. “Jack Daniels, Seagram’s 7—”

“Whatever is easy.” He took the bottle
she offered, ripped off the top and drank, letting the cool burn glide down.

“Here's another one.”

He took the second bottle and downed its
contents, cursing it and himself for not being able to manage the pain in his
chest. He sank onto the plush couch.

“Only a woman can make a man look like
you do. Did you fight with Tess?”

“Yes.”

“I was just going to order some room
service. Why don't I order enough for two and you can tell me about it.”

Without knowing why or even caring, he
nodded.

“Good.” She smiled, holding his gaze for
a moment then picked up the phone to order food.

“I'm going to get some water.” Jack
headed to her bathroom, splashing water on his face. He looked into the mirror
and didn't like what he saw. How could a woman bring a man to his knees so
easily?

“I hope you like salmon,” Liv said when
he returned to the room.

“Salmon is fine.”

“While we wait, why don't you tell me
what happened.”

“I shouldn't dump this on you. You're
having a tougher time than I am. What can I do for you?” He placed his hand on
her shoulder.

She brought her hand to cover his. “My
circumstances are different. Charles and I didn't have what you and Tess have.”
She cocked her head. “The fight was about me, wasn't it?”

He turned away from her, going to the
window that looked over the historic Jefferson Tavern downtown area. “Yes.” He
turned back to her. “But you don't want to hear it. The funeral is tomorrow. Is
there anything I can do?”

“No. Everything is set. Even Charles'
son and daughter-in-law are here. So why don't you tell me about you and Tess.”

“Liv—”

“Really. I'd like the distraction. This
whole thing with Charles is overwhelming. I'd like an excuse to forget about it
for just a little while.”

He studied her for a moment, trying to
see what Tess saw. “It's complicated. It's not even really about you.”