Old Sins Long Shadows (13 page)

‘
I do not know who gave them to me,’ she confessed, ‘but I am not so persuaded I have an admirer.’

‘
You are too modest, but modesty becomes you.’ His finger momentary touched her fingers leaving a burning imprint upon them. ‘Indeed you must have an admirer, but perhaps not unknown?’  Her mouth went dry. Was he hinting that he had given them to her? ‘If I recall correctly, wildflowers are your favourite?’ He replaced his hat and touched its brim with his whip handle in salute. Smiling she dipped a curtsy in return. Satisfied with the encounter he turned on his heels and left her standing to make his way around the house and enter it by the front entrance. He also knew he had left her with a memory of his boyish grin in her mind.

Janey was reeling with emotion as her world had been tilted
. James Brockenshaw, son of Lord Brockenshaw, who had always been charming, was now flirting with her and hinting of admiration. With her precious gift she walked quickly back to the house, through the servant’s entrance, up the servant’s stairs to the domestic staff’s sleeping quarters and the sanctuary of her room. Thankfully she had not come across any other staff member who may question her about the visitor she had received. Breathlessly she took a single bloom from each type of flower, placed them in the fold of her best linen handkerchief and carefully placed it between the pages of her heaviest book. Taking her best ribbon she tied the stems of the bouquet together and hung it upside down above her bed from a nail that protruded from the wall. She stood back and looked at the flowers, their modest scent slowly filling the room. She couldn’t contain the smile on her lips and her girlish beating heart. Praying they would dry well to preserve the blooms she hoped to have the bouquet forever so she may look upon them every day of her life and cherish the memory of his gift. She did not expect the encounter to be repeated or their relationship to grow. He was the son of her employer and from a different class but Janey, an avid reader of fiction, felt like a heroine in a romantic novel and James Brockenshaw was her handsome and wealthy hero.

November temperatures remained mild but the torrential showers that blighted the last few weeks of October and the beginning of November resulted in an abundance of fungi breaking through the sodden soil. Lawns on the estate, grass verges by the roadside, even on the moor where the green grass had changed to a golden orange, brown fungi sprouted. The showers, short in duration but frequent and heavy, saturated the granite strewn moorland.

The grey igneous rock known for its toughness and used to build most of the houses and walls in the area is unforgiving. One could not dig a foot into th
e soil without coming across a lump of granite resulting in poor absorption of the torrential rain. It resulted in streams of gushing water forming on the moorland to run at speed along convoluted trails not apparent in dry weather. The ground, made up of a patchwork of grass, Hawthorne and white moss that resembled lace, carpeted the ground and acted like a sponge that seeped water when trodden on. With the ground so sodden and the fast flowing water and puddles to be avoided, the moor was best avoided during these weeks as dress hems and shoes were soon soaked.

James tipped the whisky back into his throat
. He had spent the morning visiting the tenant farmers with his father, more out of duty than any real interest. He acted the role to keep his father off his back for a few more days and bring peace to the house but he had not enjoyed it. Grubby farmers, spawning dirty brats and tending smelly animals, he had no interest in their lives, their gossip or what they planned to sow next year. How he hated this house and estate. He refilled his glass and returned to the window where he stood to watch the rainfall. The drops ran down the windowpane colliding into one another to form bigger droplets to only divide again. This place choked him so much that at times he felt he could not breathe. He wanted to travel and see the world, to make Bath or even London his permanent residence, to attend balls, gentleman clubs, gamble the night away. However his birthright, his destiny and his parent’s wish was for him to remain here. Here, in the middle of nowhere, where the most exciting thing to happen was the weather. This was where his destiny lay and it made him feel sick.

His one comfort was his horse
. The black beast had turned into a fine purchase and his first hunt of the season, held the previous week, had been exhilarating and successful with two foxes killed. His fellow hunters had complimented him on his steed and James had wallowed in their compliments. He certainly hadn’t got any from his father when he found out about how much it had cost him. James had wanted to show the horse off again and had sent word by the stable boy to the only man where praise regarding an equine purchase was worth having. The only man James acknowledged knew more about horses than anyone else. So yesterday he had waited for the boy to return, his horse gleaming ready for inspection, confident that Daniel would come. When the stable boy returned alone with a message that Daniel Kellow said he was too busy and would not be coming James threw into a rage. The arrogant man, it was not an invitation, it was an order.  Who the hell did he think he was! So today he had ridden the farms with his father, partly to please his father but, he now admits, in the hope of seeing Kellow and giving him a peace of his mind. Of course he did not see him, as unusually he owned his own farm, unlike most of the other farmers hereabouts. It highlighted how little James knew who was his father’s tenants, and who were not. The highlighting of his ignorance regarding the estate angered him all the more.

The rain had eased considerably and James watched his mother’s dog run out into the gardens followed by her maid
. He smiled to himself as he watched her gracefully pass through the iron archway into the structured rose garden, its bushes lying dormant, gathering their strength to bloom again next year. He finished off his drink with a quick tilt of his head, put the glass down on a table that had been in his family for generations, and left the room. A drop of amber whisky trickled down the crystal glass. It followed the diamond pattern to form an erratic path and finally stain the polished wood beneath.

Janey picked her way along the wet path through the bare rose garden, careful not to slip on the slimy slate. Skirting along the wall of the kitchen garden, she followed the path down to the shrubbery and away from the manor. Charlie was delighted to finally escape the house where the bad weather had imprisoned him these past few days. He was not alone in this feeling as Janey had also greatly missed their walks and the freedom she felt leaving the estate. The air was damp and the overcast sky threatened rain at any moment. Janey didn’t care as she could not retain the smile forming on her lips as she watched Charlie’s tail wag vigorously with each new scent he smelt, each new object he investigated. Charlie barked suddenly and James stepped out into her path.

‘
I have been discovered,’ he laughed holding up his hands in mock surrender, ‘Did I scare you?’

‘
You did, sir. I was not expecting you to be here.’ She looked around nervously and was relieved no windows of the house could look down upon them.

‘
I fancied a stroll after a busy morning. Would you do me the pleasure of accompanying me?’

Janey had little choice as she could hardly refuse him
, so she fell into step beside him. Unusually she had remained in her uniform. The gulf between master and servant was evident for all to see, least of all Janey and a silence fell between them. When she bumped into him on her walks on the moor she would be in her day dress, she could pretend she was his equal. Today she could not dream and the reality of their situations made her see how silly her romantic dreams about him were. James looked down at her and had an incredible urge to impress her. The lies came easy to his tongue.

‘I have spent the morning visiting my tenants. It is important for me to see how they are faring, offer advice if necessary and see if all is running smoothly.’ He tapped a bush with his cane, ‘My father looks after things when business calls me away but when I am back I like to oversee things.’  She looked up to him with admiring eyes.

‘
It must be a great responsibility, sir. I’m sure they appreciate your interest.’

‘
They seem appreciative.’  He enjoyed seeing her feelings show so clearly on her face. It amused him and he enjoyed how a few chosen words so easily manipulated her. He felt powerful. Power he lacked while his father held the purse strings.

‘
It must also be a burden,’ she replied intuitively. Her response had caught him off guard. Halting his walk he stared out to look at the different shrubs planted in the little valley below.

‘
You see that bush there and that one there,’ he pointed his cane at various specimens, ‘my great uncle planted them. He loved to travel, he would return from his trips with various plants as souvenirs. He had the freedom to travel whilst his brother was tied to the estate. I am tied to the estate, but I think I have inherited my great uncle’s interest in the world.’ He looked at her keenly, ‘Have you travelled?’

‘
No, sir. I have not had the opportunity to travel outside of Cornwall.’

James laughed and Janey suddenly felt inadequate and unworldly
. James did not notice her discomfort.

‘
I plan to visit every country in the Empire and I will one day.’

‘
I believe you can do anything you put your mind to, sir.’

‘I believe I can,’ he smiled triumphantly. The heavens opened and a sudden shower of heavy rain fell in vertical lines upon them. James grabbed her hand, ‘Follow me. I know the perfect place to shelter.’

Their heads bent against the rain, James led her down some steps and pulled her into a stone grotto
. Charlie followed them into the manmade cave, shook himself dry and sat down to watch the rain outside. Janey looked about her. The walls were decorated with crystals and minerals collected from the growing number of abandoned Cornish mines in the county. Clear Quarz, black and silver
Chalcocite and green Liroconite were just a few that marked the demise of mining in the area. Janey couldn’t resist touching them in delight.

‘
This place is lovely,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t know it was here.’

‘
I used to call it the fairy grotto when I was a boy,’ he leaned against the wall watching her. ‘I used to hide here to avoid my Latin lessons. How I hated them. It’s a very lonely existence being an only child. Do you have siblings?’

She always found it painful to talk of her sisters and her sadness showed in her
voice.

‘
I had two younger sisters but they died.’

He did not seem to notice
and unusually did not voice regret at her loss. A worm of unease turned in her stomach at his lack of sympathy but was soon dispelled at his next words.

‘
I hated being an only child. All my parents’ attention was, and still is, focused on me so much sometimes I feel I cannot breathe.’ His eyes showed genuine hurt and she instinctively took a step closer and lifted her hand to comfort him. She stopped herself just in time but he took it and placed it on his cheek. ‘Do you realise that these past few weeks I seek you out, my pretty Janey? I swear I would not visit my mother in her rooms so often if it wasn’t for the hope of seeing her maid.’

‘
You must not say such things, sir.’ Gently she tried to withdraw her hand but he would not let her.

‘
I can say what I like, when I like and to whom I like,’ he said, smiling at her.

‘If Miss Petherbridge or Mr Tallock knew they would see I was dismissed.’

‘
The she-devil and her side kick can go to hell for all I am concerned.’  She smiled at his nickname for them which he had used more than once before. He turned his head into her palm and kissed it. ‘Say my name, Janey. Say my name.’

‘
I couldn’t, sir. I mustn’t. Please don’t ask me.’  She felt the path she had been treading these past months had suddenly shown itself to be dangerous and treacherous and she was unsure what to do to. She loved this man but from a position that she was safe to enjoy her dream and her romantic fantasy. Today their relationship had changed again. He was demanding more and it would put her in danger. Her position, her home, her reputation was at risk for she knew he would never acknowledge her as anything more than a servant in public. Yet if she denied him she still risked a dismissal and a loss of a home.

‘
Say my name. I need to hear it from your lips.’  He seemed so vulnerable and earnest in his request.

‘
James,’ she whispered as he kissed her palm. Sensations travelled down her arm and her
breathing
became shallow. She was afraid if his advances were not halted she may give into his passion that was growing more evident with each ragged breath he took. She gently tried to pull her hand away when he suddenly lurched forward to kiss her on her lips. She quickly sidestepped and made a show of calling the dog. His jaw worked in annoyance at her avoidance. ‘I must go. Her ladyship is expecting me,’ she grabbed Charlie’s collar so he could not escape as, for some reason which she could not explain, it was important she was no longer alone with him.