On an Edge of Glass (16 page)

I smooth out my napkin again a
nd fiddle with my phone.  The waitress arrives with a pad in hand and we order and debate whether or not to get hummus and pita chips for the table.

             
Mark decides, swishing his hand out and saying definitively, “I think it’s always a good idea to err on the side of hummus.” 

             
Who can argue with that?

             
What happens next is that we start talking, and then the dishes of food are brought out until our table is overflowing with Greek cuisine.  We’re passing around the hummus, and the stuffed steamed grape leaves that Ainsley bravely ordered. I laugh at a story that Payton tells with her mouth half-full. 

When the waitress makes a stop at our table, w
e ask for a round of ouzo even though it’s the middle of the day and Ainsley has to get ready for the social that she’s going to tonight, and I’ve got my secret date with Ben. 

And we’re happy and triumphant,
and for a little while I don’t worry about LSAT questions that I think I missed, or that I should have gotten more sleep last night, or that I am lying to Ainsley and Payton about my sexual escapades.  I don’t think about the fact that I still have to complete a knock-out essay for my Columbia application, or that semester exams start in seventeen days.

             
For a few blissful moments, it seems possible that things can work out.  I imagine getting back an incredible LSAT score, and acing my exams, and getting the summer internship that I want.  In my head, Payton and Ainsley won’t be upset when they find out that I’ve slept with Ben, and Mark might get on board with my romantic life.  And maybe, he’ll go on a second date with Hal Shepherd. 

It could happen.  It really could.

              And this thing with Ben… it could be something.  I find myself thinking about him far too often, which is totally unlike me.  I’ve always been so focused on what’s next—never on the here and now.  And guys haven’t exactly been a priority before.  When I was fifteen and my friends were filling spiral notebooks with doodles of boy’s names, I was taking advanced classes that weren’t even required at my high school, and adding club activities to fluff my resume.  

             
Sure, I’ve been on my fair share of dates, but I can’t remember anyone making my heart go topsy turvy like this.  The only person that even came close was Simon Yancey, who had polo shirts in a wide array of My Little Pony colors, and always wore coordinating Sperry’s as if he might encounter a yacht at any moment. 

Simon and I
dated for four months, which I suppose is sort of an era by high school standards.  Simon has bragging rights to my virginity—an epic unveiling which lasted all of forty-five seconds and had me wondering what all the fuss was about.

             
Things got better in that department in college, but still… no one’s ever gotten under my skin like this before.  I could probably spend hours rewinding each moment that I’ve spent with Ben over and over again.  I could put it on a crazy loop until I can practically taste his determined mouth teasing mine, and feel his long fingers moving against my skin. 

             
“Oh my…”  That’s Payton from my left, pulling me back from my runaway thoughts.  “Isn’t that the guy who screwed Ben’s ex?  What’s his name?  David? Dylan?”

             
The rest of us direct our attention to where Payton’s looking discreetly over her shoulder.  I spot Drew at one of the smaller tables, sitting close to a slender girl with long dark hair.  She turns her face almost like she senses us watching, and I see that it’s Lily. 

They look pretty cozy for two people that are no longer speaking to each other.
   

             
“Yep,” I confirm glibly even though my pulse has spiked and all sorts of feelings are crashing around inside of me.  “That’s Drew.  And the girl that’s with him is the infamous ex.  Her name is Lily.”

             
Mark’s eyes widen.  He gives me a significant look.  I shake my head lightly, hoping that he’ll take the cue and won’t give me away.

             
Ainsley leans her torso over the table and whispers urgently, “Boy, am I glad that Ben didn’t come with us.  Can anyone else say
awkward
?”

             
I twitch.  My fingers curl into my palm.  “You guys invited Ben to come out to lunch with us?”

             
Ainsley nods, then her eyes dart away to check on Drew and Lily again.  They’re preparing to leave and have yet to notice the four of us eye-stalking their every move.  “Yeah, but he said he had to get some stuff ready for tonight.  I don’t know if his band has a thing or what.”

My heart flutters
and I blush.  Our date is tonight.  I know that Mark is scrutinizing my reaction and that he’ll be full of questions later, but I can’t help the warmth that’s creeping over my features.

On the other side of the patio, D
rew helps Lily into her jacket and passes his arm across her shoulders.  As they walk by our table, Drew does a double-take and stops abruptly.

He points
at me and shuts one eye like he’s trying to place me.  “Ellie, right?”

I
nod my head twice.  “Hi Drew.  And, Lily, how are you?”

“
Sorry, but do I know you?”  She asks, shaking her head a bit.  Her dark hair swishes against her golden skin.  I notice that today she’s wearing another skirt that is so short she must have found it in the toddler section of a department store. 

“
Sort of.  I’m Ben’s roommate.  We met that night at the—”

She interrupts
me.  “Oh, that’s right.  It was dark and I was distracted.  You know how those things go.  It’s nice to see you again.”

“Actually,” I say
, gesturing to Payton and Ainsley.  “All three of us are Ben’s roommates.”

“Well, isn’t that g
ood for you,” she says with a condescending smile.  My stomach flips over and I realize that I hate her.  I hate her because of the way that she hurt Ben, who is so full of love and light.  I hate that she took even one bit of that from him.  And, I hate the smug look on her face. 

Payton angles her head
and grins artfully.  “In all honestly, we’re more than Ben’s roommates.  We’re all sleeping with him and, truth be told, the sex is incredible.  Well, I suppose that you would know that already.”  She ends her proclamation with an elusive shrug.

I half-gag on a sip of water.  Ainsley’s
blue eyes widen.  Drew’s eyebrows lift about five feet in the air.  Mark claps his hands and laughs raucously. 

Lily looks
like she’s ready to throw Payton into the patio fountain, but before she says or does anything, Drew pulls her away from our table and out the door. 

“That was
interesting
,” Mark manages finally when they’re out of range of hearing.

“You are
a terrible person,” I tell Payton, but I don’t really mean it.  I can’t keep the smile off my face. 

She giggles.  “That bitch deserved it.”

              Ainsley’s mouth is pursed into an oval shape.  “Well, she’s definitely an awful human being, but she’s really quite pretty.  I’ll give her that much.”

             
Payton scoffs and narrows her eyes.  “I know girls like that.  Trust me.  She’s got venom for blood and a shard of ice where her heart should be.  Plus,” she says as she tosses her head to one side, “I don’t think she’ll age very well.”

             
Mark lifts his glass of ouzo in the air.  “Cheers to that!”

Making it on the Milky Way

My strategy while getting
ready for my date with Ben is not very well-developed because I’m still mystified as to where we’re going.  The only thing he told me was to be ready at six.  An instruction that leaves me conflicted about what clothes to wear.  I don’t know if we’re going to be inside or outside, or if the place he’s taking me to is fancy or casual or somewhere in between.  This is a situation made all the more maddening by the fact that Ben is just one room away from me and has the answers to all of my questions.

F
inally, after staring into my closet for the better part of a century, I decide that wearing a dress seems a tad presumptuous, so I settle on a pair of stretchy jeans, a long-sleeved top with some embellishments around the collar, and my dressiest boots—the ones with the narrow heel and the side zipper.   

Since this is a
n
official
date, I’ve opted not do my hair or makeup in the bathroom across the hall, where I run the risk of bumping into Ben.  Instead, I’ve brought all of the necessary primping tools into my bedroom.  As the late afternoon turns my window panes to an incandescent yellow gold, I sit on the floor of my bedroom in front of a long mirror that I’ve propped against the wall.  Methodically, I smooth out my hair with a large paddle brush and my hairdryer until it falls like a silky veil over my shoulders.  Using an angled makeup brush, I put on a sparkly chestnut eyeshadow.  Next, I line the top lids and add an extra coat of mascara to my lashes to brighten up my eyes.

The knock
at my door comes a few minutes early.  I turn to the mirror one last time, pressing my lips together to even out my lip gloss. I’ve chosen a deep red shade because it matches the stitching in the floral detail on my shirt.  Mark would be proud if he could see me now.

I open the door and
Ben is there, in the half-light of the hall, all beaming with first date perfection: freshly shaven jaw, broad smile and a bouquet of…

I laugh, incredulous.  “Wait.  Are those
gummy bears
?”

He looks down at the bizarre creation in his
hands.  Shyness bends back his features.  “I noticed that you always seem to have a box of them in your bag, so I thought…  Is it weird?  It’s too weird, isn’t it?”

I take them and bring them to my chest.  “No, it’s… perfect.” 

The corners of his eyes wrinkle and the winning smile is back in place on the bottom half of his face.  “I put them on shish kebob sticks.”

“I can see that,” I answer, examining my gift more
closely.  Ben has indeed stuck dozens of colorful gummy bears on thin wooden shish kebob sticks and arranged them in a bed of green tissue paper.  It’s like a bouquet of freshly cut flowers—only better because it’s made of impaled gummy bears.  “I… I love it.  Should I put them in water?”

Ben
looks relieved that I’m joking.  His smile turns crooked.  “Maybe maple syrup.  They require an abundance of sugar.”

I giggle.

It’s probably a little strange to go on a secret date with the guy that lives one room over and that you’re having great sex with, but seeing Ben watch me from the doorway as I set down the candy bouquet and grab my jacket and purse, it is undoubtedly what I want.

He doesn’t say where we’re going even once we’re in the car and winding our way past campus and
the strings of houses and shops that border town.

“Can you at least tell me how far
away wherever you’re taking me is?” I ask as he turns onto the highway.

“I suppose that I can do that.” 
Conciliatorily, the dimple winks at me.  “We’ll be in the car about a half hour.”

I tilt my head
back against the headrest.  “And will heights or animal sacrifice be involved on this date in any way, shape, or form?”

He considers this
for a few seconds.  “Ellie, are you implying that you draw the line at animal sacrifice on a first date?”

“
Ha!  Yes I am.  In fact, I’m doing more than implying.  I’m actually going to come out and declare that animal sacrifice is strictly a fourth date thing.”

“
Hmmm… Then I may need a few minutes to rethink our plans.”

This makes me laugh.  “Come on!  So, y
ou’re really not going to tell me what we’re doing tonight?”

“
I’m really not,” Ben says, tucking his hair behind his right ear and shaking his head lightly. “But to take your mind off of the mystery, I’ll play a little game with you.”

I cast a wary glance toward
him.  “Okaaaay…”

He picks up his phone
and fingers the display screen.  “It’s like a trivia game.  We’ll take turns playing songs from our music libraries and the other person has to guess the name of the track and artist.  Bonus points for album name and year.  The fastest and most accurate player wins.”

“Let me get this straight,” I say
, slowly lifting one eyebrow and twisting my mouth.  “You want me to play a music trivia game against you?  Ben, you’re a musician!  That hardly seems like fair to me.”

Ben grins and dips his head
.  “I do see your point, but I promise that I’ll start off easy on you Ellie.”

Is it ridiculous that his words make me shiver
?  It’s all I can do not to reach over right this minute and grab him.