On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep (31 page)

Jake and Sam stood and each one took my hand in theirs as we navigated through the crowd toward the stage. I knew Calon was singing “The Star Spangled Banner,” so I wanted to be front row for what I knew would lift goosebumps on everyone in attendance.

We watched people and giggled at old couples in their lawn chairs. Some were paying absolutely no attention to one another while others didn’t let go of each other’s wrinkled hand.

“I want to be like that when we get old, Jake.”

“Pale and wrinkly?”

“No, silly! I want to still be holding your hand.”

“The last time we talked about graduating and getting jobs, you were freaked out, but now you’re picturing us together in our nineties?”

Sam looked up at me as if curious of my answer, as well. He dropped my hand. I assumed he sensed how intimate the conversation had turned. He really hated to be the third wheel, although we never thought of him that way.

“Yeah. Being with Noah taught me never to look ahead, because I never had any idea what was around the corner. Or in his case, which Noah would be around the corner. But the emotions I’ve uncovered through my poetry, my guitar, and learning how to
feel
with Calon, they’ve taught me how thrilling it is to anticipate what’s around the corner or even down the road.”

“Jake let you feel Calon? Like Calon Ridge? The rock star?” Sam’s head turned back and forth between Jake and me, but we momentarily made a silent decision to ignore him.

“So, I’m down the road?” Jake turned to me and kissed me lightly.

“Is there another Calon? That’s not a common name, you know.” Sam begged for an explanation.

Jake laughed at Sam then spoke with his heart. “You’re right by my side all the way to the end of the road.” He pulled me in for a big hug.

“
Barf!
Puking over here! Who’s got a bucket?” Now, Sam was just jealous.

Jake took my face in his hands. Our noses touched lightly, and he tilted his head to the side. He placed his lips on mine in such a gentle way, as though he was feeling me just as much as he was kissing me. Sam was still making gag noises, so our tender kiss was cut short when we both erupted into fits of laughter. But the three of us jumped when the mic screeched and Calon’s voice came through the speakers.

“Happy Fourth, Knoxville!” He smiled and raised his arms out to greet the huge crowd.

I was convinced the guy had no fear. There was nothing in the way he stood or the sound of his voice that gave any impression of hesitation or anxiety. He didn’t twitch nervously or anything. He was made for this. The crowd was still yelling and whistling until he pressed down on the air in front of him with his hands, asking them to quiet down.

“That Calon?” Sam tried to whisper, but it was a futile attempt.

I nodded and shushed him. I didn’t know what was running through his head, but I reached over and pushed his chin up to close his mouth.

“Before I sing, I’d like to make an announcement.” He looked into the crowd and his eyes locked on mine.

“Shit.”

“Breathe, Gracie. He’s not going to ask you to sing.” Jake’s voice was quiet and calming in my ear, but my heart was still pounding.

“Jake, you knew he was going to embarrass me?”

“He’s not trying to embarrass you. He’s proud of you, Gracie. And so am I.” He kissed me on the check and squeezed my shoulders.

“Gracie, will you join me on stage?”

Panic set in, the ground moved under me, and I couldn’t even think of walking onto the stage. I was light-headed and thought I would pass out. I shook my head in answer to Calon’s request.

“Come on, Gracie. Come up here.”

Jake pushed me a little and kissed my cheek. “Go get ‘em, rock star.”

“What the hell?” Sam was so lost.

I walked to the stairs that led to the stage, took a deep breath, then climbed them one step at a time. Calon could see my struggle, so he met me at the top and took my hand. Girls across the grounds gasped and squealed just because he was touching me. I rolled my eyes. We walked to the center of the stage. He dropped my hand and laid his arm across my shoulders.

“I want to introduce you all to a very good friend of mine.” He looked down at me, and a curl fell from behind his ear. He winked and his smile widened. “I am proud of this beautiful girl for a number of reasons, one being that she even made it up onto this stage without passing out.”

I slapped him in the stomach and he grunted into the mic. The crowd laughed. That one small interaction lifted some of the weight from my body. The huge mass of people before me reacted positively to something I did, and I didn’t have to painstakingly choreograph anything. It was just me.

“I am also proud of her, because, even though she is terrified of being put on the spot, she has agreed to be the opening act at our local shows before we begin our US tour sometime next year.”

The crowd whooped and whistled. That reaction was for their tour announcement. The attention was off me for a second. I let out a long breath between pursed lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Gracie Jordan!”

The crowd welcomed me into a new universe with whistles, applause, and a few people even yelled my name. I was so stunned and in awe of everything that went on in those few moments, I almost missed what Calon said next.

“I am personally inviting you all to come out and see her debut performance next Friday at
Mitchell’s
. She will open for us. Ten o’clock sharp! Will we see you there?”

The crowd went wild. Someone in the center of the crowd caught my attention as he shoved his way through the masses away from the stage, apparently in a hurry to get out of there. My stomach rolled a little when I realized it was Noah.

That’s it. Walk away, coward.

“Wave to them, Gracie. And, for the love of God, smile. You look like you just swallowed paint thinner.” Calon squeezed my shoulder and leaned in, his curls brushed my face.

I plastered a smile across my face and waved. I was just thrilled they were all far enough away that they couldn’t see how badly my lips were shaking. I spoke through clenched teeth, “You could have told me you were going to do this, you ass!”

Calon leaned back with a big belly laugh and squeezed me even closer into his side. He kissed me on top of the head and leaned in toward my ear. “You never would have come.”

I looked up at him and smiled. He was right. Somehow, without knowing my entire story, he understood my anxiety. My hesitation to climb out of my shell wasn’t foreign to Calon. We always met on a deeper level, and I couldn’t explain it.

One of the stagehands helped me off the stage after Calon pulled me in for a huge hug, which sent the women in the crowd over the edge. Jake and Sam were waiting at the bottom and enveloped me in a huge double hug, knowing I’d barely be able to stand on my own.

“That was huge, Gracie. You can do this, and I couldn’t be more proud.” Jake wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and spun me around. Jake must’ve explained everything to Sam, because his incessant questioning had stopped and he just grinned from ear to ear.

Calon led the crowd in a gorgeous rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” while the fireworks ignited the summer sky. Jake, Sam, and I lay in the grass, snuggled close, and watched the light show that went on for much longer than any fireworks show I’d ever seen. Even the swirly, whistling ones, which triggered a memory of Noah calling them spermies, couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. I hadn’t even associated the fireworks with my first date with Noah until I saw those, proof there’d been a huge change in how I dealt with memories from my past.

I’d never forget that July 4
^th
. As far as I was concerned, it marked a new beginning.

Although seeing Noah in the crowd tonight rolled my stomach, it also gave me a sense of relief, because it made me realize he no longer decided how I felt about myself. I knew the anxiety I felt when I realized how close he was wouldn’t just go away. I would probably have to see him many more times before that nervousness waned. But that little voice in my head, that kept knocking me down, was so faint, I could barely hear it.

From where I stood, he could no longer touch me.

Forty

Jake

Ashley arrived Friday afternoon, and Sam was damn near giddy about her being with us. We kind of chilled for the whole day. We shopped a little around town, ate a late dinner at the Café, and stayed in to watch a movie. She and Gracie hit it off beautifully. Sam and I spent the evening nodding in the direction of the girls and rolling our eyes. They seemed to enjoy each other’s company more than they enjoyed ours.

It was odd to be the one going to bed alone. I walked Gracie downstairs. We said our platonic goodnights, and when I returned to the apartment, there was music coming from behind Sam’s closed door. I shook my head and decided I’d put my ear buds in for a while so I could go without Sam’s squirmy worm soundtrack. Squirmy worm? What a dork.

Late Saturday morning, Sam, Ashley, and I left the apartment and headed to
T & A Tats
on the edge of town. I prided myself in my non-marred physique and had never considered using my body as a doodle pad.

On our walk, I learned Ashley was a Hotel and Restaurant Management major. She had the perfect personality for that kind of career, confident but soft-spoken and very sweet. She was definitely cut out for customer service. She also mentioned leaving school before the end of the semester last year, but I didn’t catch why. And, apparently, Ashley loved tattoos and wanted another one. I couldn’t see that she had any, so I assumed she’d introduced the hidden ones to Sam the night before.

I’d never been inside a tattoo place and have to admit, I pictured it being seedy and grimy. I guess I never really thought about it long enough to realize the regulations that would have to be adhered to in order to open and operate a tattoo and piercing studio. It was spotless. The walls were a deep red, the floors dark hardwood, and there were huge gilded frames that drew attention to massive charcoal sketches on gray paper of Day-of-the-Dead-style portraits.

Music thumped, but not loud enough to mask the buzzing coming from the back rooms. I immediately thought of the dentist; it was the same kind of high-pitched whirring.

“What brings you three in today?” A bald guy with gauges big enough to put an empty toilet paper roll through rounded the corner. He wore a black, short-sleeved, button-up work shirt with a name tag patch above the pocket that announced he wanted us to call him “Tits.”

His red Kat Von D t-shirt layered under the black caught my attention. I wasn’t one for tatted up girls, but Kat Von D was hot. There was something so sensual about her and the way she bared her soul by putting her life story on the outside of her body. I puffed up my shoulders and convinced myself I wasn’t as far outside my comfort zone as I assumed I’d be. Maybe I did have some creativity floating around in me somewhere. I wondered if Gracie would ever get a tattoo. She was the only person I could imagine who could talk me into getting one.

“Hi, Tits!” Ashley chuckled as she pointed to the patch on his shirt. She smiled and winked at him. “Do you have any open appointments today?” She batted her eyes a little.

“I do.” He waved his finger in front of her shirt as though he was looking for her name patch.

“I’m Ashley, nice to meet you. I’d like a small tattoo across the top of my foot.” Her voice was so adorable, I think it melted a fraction of Tits’ tough façade.

Ashley handed him a picture, and he disappeared behind a curtain of beads.

“You’ve done this before.” I smiled at Ashley as she snuggled into Sam on the big overstuffed leather couch in the corner. I sat across from them on a chair and paged through an album of tattoos done at
T & A’s
.

“I have. My sister, Abby, and I got matching infinity symbols on our ankles before we left for college. She went to Penn State and I stayed here in Tennessee. We’re twins, and it’s our first time apart from each other...ever.” She twisted her hands a little in her lap, and I could tell she was getting a little emotional.

“Dude, you gettin’ one?” I looked up at Sam.

“Yeah, I think I’m getting...” He reached for the coffee table between us and grabbed another photo album. He closed his eyes and blindly chose a page and pointed. “This one!”

“A shirtless sailor?” I shook my head.

“Look what it says under it.” Ashley laughed so hard, she could barely speak.

Sam lifted the album closer to his face so he could read it. He slammed it shut and shook his head. “Nope.”

“Jake, it said ‘Wanna see my battleship?’ in a fancy script font.”

“It’s perfect Sam, but you’d have to change it to
squirmy worm
.”

“What!” Ashley looked at Sam with a grimace that told me she had never referred to his junk that way.

“Will you accompany me to my lair, Miss Ashley?” Tits stood with his arm out for her to take. She smiled and kissed Sam then headed back, arm in arm with Tits.

“She’s pretty cool, Sam.” I nodded with my approval. Not that he needed it.

“I know, man. She’s amazing. Everything about her is amazing. The way she smells, the sound of her voice. She’s funny, but she’s not ditzy. She’s got balls, too. You see the way she wasn’t afraid to call that dude by his nickname? I don’t even have the balls to call him Tits. He could rip my face off with his bare hands. You ever think about getting one? A tattoo?”

I’d never even entertained the thought, but I couldn’t say I was adamant about not getting one. “Yeah. Was thinking of getting your name on my ass.”

“Nice.” Sam winked.

“Gracie could probably talk me into it; just don’t know yet what it would be.”

I sat back with another album in my lap and admired the amazing artwork adorning the many different people in the photos. I’m sure most of them had a story behind them. Reminded me of Gracie and her fascination with Josephine and the stories she could tell from the music written by the owners that had come before her.

“Gracie will get one.” Sam smiled, and we both nodded. Yeah. It was just a matter of time.