On the Edge (4 page)

“So, what did Tommy have planned for your birthday?”

I knew it!  You can’t be friends with someone for more than half your life and not know them inside and out.  “Well, he cooked me a romantic dinner at his place.”

“At his place?”

“Yes, his place.  He has a little two bedroom apartment.  It’s not the greatest, but it’s his.”

“So, what did you guys do after dinner?”

I feel my face begin to flush.  Should I tell her what Tommy and I did after dinner?  I decide that I need to talk to someone about it.

“Well, he kissed me and told me that he was falling in love with me.”
              Her eyes are a full size larger now.

“Then he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom where he made love to me.”
  Oh geez, now Katherine’s eyes are even wider and her bottom jaw just dropped open.  I’m quite tempted to reach over and gently close her mouth so a fly doesn’t make its way in there and choke her.  “Oh. My. God. Abigail!  You lost your virginity to a guy you barely know on your second date?”

I begin to fill with anger.  Is she judging me?  Katherine Collins has no right to judge me.  She has been with more guys than she has fingers and toes!  “Don’t you dare start to judge me, Katherine!  You know, as well as I do, that you have had more sexual partners than anyone cares to count!”

“Abigail, I’m not judging you.  I’m just shocked that you did that.  That is totally out of character for you!  And, I’ll have you know, I haven’t been with
that
many sexual partners.”

I have to agree with her.  That is out of character for me.  I can see why she’s so shocked now.

“So, how was it?  Your first time, that is.”

“Well, it was sweet.  It sort of hurt a little, but he was really gentle with me and he took it slow that night.”

“That night?  You mean you’ve done it again since then?”

I know my face has turned a crimson color.  “Yes, we made love again last night.  But he was a bit rougher then.  It still felt good, but just different.  Can we change the subject now, please?”

Katherine nods her head and we start talking about prom and our plans.  Our conversation finally feels normal.  We continue to talk and do homework until my mom announces that dinner will be ready soon.  Katherine is invited to stay, but she declines the offer, so I take her home.  This time, there is no music and Katherine isn’t screeching her head off.  I guess she’s still in shock about my earlier revelation.  It’s eerily quiet in the car.  Hmm, maybe Katherine’s screeching isn’t as bad as I made it out to be.  Oh hell, who am I kidding?  Her screech-singing is miserable but I love it!

                        
 
*   *   *

Dinner
is on the table when I arrive home and my parents have just started to eat.  I take my place beside my mom and begin to fill my plate.

“So, when are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend, Abby?” My dad asks in between bites of asparagus and mashed potatoes.

“I don’t know, dad.  I haven’t thought about it.” I lie.  My dad can be very judgmental because of his profession and I don’t want to place Tommy in the hot-seat. 

“Well, Abby, your mother and I would like to meet the man that our only daughter is spending so much time with.”

“Yes, darling, your father is right.  Why don’t you invite Tommy over for supper sometime this week?” Mom asks.

I really don’t want to put Tommy through a family dinner, but I know that I will keep hearing them nag me about meeting him.
  “Umm, okay.  What day works for you?  Tommy is a welder at the local salvage yard so he’s off work by six o’clock most weekdays.”

“Why don’t you invite him for supper on Friday?  Let’s say around seven so he has time to clean up after work?” My mom suggests.

“Ok, I’ll text him after dinner and make arrangements.” I respond hesitantly.

After dinner, I clear the table and help my mom clean the kitchen.  It isn’t long before I’m back in my room.  I grab my cell phone and text Tommy.

My parents want to meet you.  They have invited you over for dinner at 7 on Friday.  Can you make it?

I put my phone down and start getting my clothes out for bed.  As I’m about to head to the bathroom, my phone buzzes.

Friday is fine, angel.  I’ll be there by 7.  How was your day?

My day was great.  I miss you. 

I miss you too baby.  Abigail…….

Yes Tommy?

I love you with all my heart.

Oh my, my Tommy is so sweet.  I feel tears start to spring to my eyes.  I never could imagine someone making me feel so loved.  I feel like I am the center of his universe.

I love you too, Tommy. 

I put my phone down and go take a shower.  The warm water feels so good.  I think of Tommy and what he said.  He loves me, not just loves me, but loves me with all his heart. 

When I get out of the shower, I hear my mom sobbing in her room and my dad is beating on the bathroom door.  I hurriedly wrap a towel around my body and open the door. 

“Abigail, get dressed and pack a change of clothes!” He orders.

“Ok dad.  What’s going on?”

“Michael has been in an accident.  We need to get to Bayford General Hospital.  Hurry up!”

Oh no, Michael’s been hurt.  What the hell happened?  God, please let my brother be alright.

Chapter
Four             

We meet Jason at the emergency entrance to Bayford General Hospital.  He tells us what room Michael is in and my parents head straight for him.  I stay back with Jason.  As we walk to the waiting room, Jason tells me what happened.

“We were at football practice and our offense didn’t have your brother as well guarded as they should have and Michael was tackled by the other teams’ defense.  I am so sorry, Abby.  I was supposed to have your brother’s back and I failed!”

Poor Jason is beating himself up.  I know that he cares about my brother but this was not his fault.  When Mike took up football, he knew the risks that were involved. 
“It’s okay, Jason.  Accidents happen.  It wasn’t your fault,” I say trying to comfort him.  I can’t make him forgive himself but I can show him that I don’t blame him.

I move toward him and embrace him in a hug.  Jason wraps his arms around my waist and begins to cry.  I wish Jason wouldn’t beat himself up over this.  Injuries happen in football and Michael was well aware of that when he started playing.

Dad joins us in the waiting room to give us an update.  The nurses wouldn’t give Jason any updates because he wasn’t immediate family.  “Michael’s okay but he won’t be playing football anytime soon.  The doctor says he may be ready by next season if he takes it easy.  He has a few broken ribs, broken collar bone, broken arm and a concussion from the impact.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Wilkinson.  I should have protected him.
  I guess I was just off my game.  So much has been going on this week and it showed today.”

“Jason, it’s not your fault.  You are a great friend.  Don’t beat yourself up,” my dad says as he puts an arm around Jason’s shoulder.  Dad pulls him into one of those half hug, half pat holds. 

I take this moment to shoot Tommy a quick text message. 

Hey babe.  I’m in Bayford at the hospital with my brother.  I’ll be staying overnight. 

I turn my cell phone off and put it in my back pocket before sitting back down next to Jason.  Dad went back to the room with mom and Michael while I was texting Tommy.  It’s late and I’m getting sleepy.  Jason puts his arm around me and pulls me close.  I feel safe and content.  Jason places his head on top of mine and I begin to drift to sleep.

“What the fuck is this?” a voice I barely recognize is shouting.
  I open my eyes to see Tommy standing in front of me.  Jason jumps awake and stands up.

“I will not ask again, Abigail, what the hell is going on?” Tommy demands with fury in his eyes.

I have to neutralize this.  Tommy is really aggravated and I know that Jason is self-loathing.  With those two circumstances, this could easily escalate into something far worse than it already is.  “Nothing, Tommy.  This is Jason, he’s my brother’s friend.”

Tommy looks from me to Jason and back to me.  Shit, he’s really mad.  Jason doesn’t leave my side.  He’s in his protective stance.  I see he has his fists doubled up ready to jump on Tommy if he doesn’t step back.  I need to rectify the situation.  Jason could do some serious damage to my Tommy.  I walk over to Tommy and put my arms around his neck.  He looks down at me and places his arm around my waist.  “It’s okay, Tommy.  Jason’s just a friend.”
  I look back at Jason and he’s still angry, but he looks at me with longing eyes.  What is that all about? 

“How is your brother, baby?”
Tommy asks as he noticeably relaxes. 

  I am finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.  Tommy has calmed down and Jason’s stance has finally relaxed. 
“He’s going to be alright.  He just has a few broken bones and a concussion.”

“Well, let me take you home.  You need to rest.”

I nod and go find my parents to inform them that Tommy is going to take me home since Michael is alright.  Dad walks me out to the car so I can grab the bags that I packed.  “Abigail, are you going to go home or going to have Tommy drop you off at Katherine?”

I hadn’t really thought about staying anywhere but home.  I shrug my shoulders, “Not sure yet, dad.  Either way, I’ll be fine.  Remember, I’m an adult now,” I say smiling up at him.

“Ha, adult or not, you’re my baby girl and I want to make sure you’re safe.  Remember to lock up the front door if you stay at the house,” he reminds me as he puts my bag in Tommy’s car before giving me a kiss on my cheek. 

The car ride is long and quiet.  Tommy doesn’t say a word to me.  The tension is so thick that you could cut it with a knife.
  Tommy doesn’t take me home but to his apartment.  I prefer to stay here tonight anyways.  I hate staying home alone.  Once we make our way inside, he locks the door and turns to me.  He grabs my arm and pulls me close to him.

“I don’t ever want to find you in another man’s arms, do you understand, Abigail?”

There’s a shooting pain in my arm.  He’s squeezing me too hard.  “Tommy, please let me go.  You’re hurting me.”

He releases his grip and slides his hands through his hair.  “Abigail, you are my girl.  I don’t want to see another man with his hands on your body.  It makes me go mad seeing another man touching my woman.”

“I’m sorry.  Jason doesn’t mean anything to me.  He’s just Michael’s friend.  He’s been a part of my life for so long that I look at him like another big brother.  I love you and I am your girl.”

Tommy pulls me closer to him and brings his face down to mine.  “I don’t care.  You’re mine and only I will put my hands on your perfect body,” he growls as his presses his lips to mine and kisses me hard.  He releases me from his kiss and pulls me to the bedroom and closes the door.  Once inside, he begins to undress me quickly.  He pushes me onto the bed and begins to take his clothes off.  In record time, he’s on top of me, but this time, he isn’t making passionate love to me.

When Tommy finishes, I grab my overnight bag that I retrieved from my parents car, and head to the bathroom.  I start the shower and look at myself in the mirror and tears begin to stream down my face.  I have a hickey on my neck and bruises on my arms where he held me down.  My lip is swollen from his “love” bites.  I am so sore and I do not feel loved.  I don’t understand why he did that.  My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a knock at the door. I wipe my tears away and open the door for Tommy.  He looks at me and takes me into his arms.  Oh, this is my Tommy.  This is the man I fell in love with.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Abigail.  I was still upset but I longed to be with you so bad that I didn’t know how rough I was being with you.”

I am now sobbing.  Why did he hurt me?  I didn’t do anything wrong.  I love Tommy and nothing is going to change that.  Why doesn’t he see that?

“Abby, baby, please don’t cry,” he looks me in my eyes now, “I will never hurt you again.  I love you.  I love you more than you could possibly imagine.”

I place my arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to him.  We are both naked and crying.  I have no words for Tommy.  I just bury my head into his chest and cry.

“Abigail, I love you.  I promise, I will never hurt you again.”

“I love you too.  I don’t ever want you to hurt me again.”

“I won’t.  I promise.  Now, let’s take a shower.”

After our shower, Tommy takes my hair brush and brushes my hair.  He plants little kisses along my neck.  “You are so beautiful, Abigail.  I want to be with you forever.  Please, never leave me,” he’s pleading with me.

“Tommy, I love you more than anything in this world.  I never want to leave you.  You a
re my Tommy and always will be.”

He bends down and kisses me gently.  He drops my towel to the floor and skims my body with his hands.  He lifts me into his strong, loving arms and carries me back to the bedroom.  He lines my body in kisses.  He wraps his body around mine and whispers, “Sleep, baby” in my ear and I begin to feel my eyelids becoming heavy.

             
            
 
*   *   *

I wake early the next morning.  Tommy has his arms around me and his nose nestled in my hair.  A girl could get used to this.  I turn over to face Tommy.  I run my fingertips along his face and his eyes flutter open.  “Good morning, beautiful,” he says sleepily.

“Good morning, handsome.”

He leans in and kisses me on my lips.  God, I could really get used to waking up to this.  He deepens the kiss and I feel a stirring depth within my soul.  How could he be so mean last night and so sweet this morning?  I love the way he makes me feel when he’s acting like my Tommy.  Last night scared me and, for a moment, he wasn’t my Tommy at all, but a monster.

Tommy and I start getting ready for our day.  I decide that I won’t be going to school today since I had a late night and mom and dad are still in Bayford with Michael.  Tommy drops me off
at home just before eight o’clock.

I make my way to my room and put my iPod in the dock and the lyrics to Nivea’s song “Don’t Mess with My Man” begins to play through the speakers. I lie on my bed and think about last night.  I’ve never seen anyone so mad at me before.  Was what I did really that bad?  Tears start to fall as I remember Tommy forcing his way into me.  It was more painful than losing my virtue to him.  Tears were streaming down my face but Tommy didn’t care.  He just kept going until he reached his climax.  I realize that I would be upset with him if I caught him asleep on another girl. He did apologize to me and I have to have faith that he meant it when he said it would never happen again.

I need to check on my brother.  I hope he gets to come home today.  I grab my phone and call my mom’s cell phone but there’s no answer.  I decide to call Jason and see if he knows anything.

“Abby?”

“Hi, Jay, I’m calling to check on Michael.  I tried my mom but she didn’t answer.”

“He’s fine, Abby.  Your parents are taking him home in a few hours.  How are you?”

Why is he asking this?  “I’m fine Jay.  Why?”

“Well, that boy of yours
seemed really angry last night so I drove to your house after you guys left and you weren’t home.  I was worried that he hurt you.  Are you sure you’re fine?”

He really drove the thirty minutes to my house to check on me?  Can we say protective much? 
“Yes, Jason, I’m fine.  He was a little jealous, that’s all.”

“Abby, please be careful.  There are a lot of people that love you.  We don’t want to see anything happen to you.”

Ugh, why are so many people concerned with me and Tommy?  He got angry one time and now it’s a big deal.  “I know, Jay.  You don’t need to worry about me.  I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, Abby, that’s where you’re wrong.  I have always worried about you and I will continue to worry about you.”

What?  Where is all of this coming from?  “I know Jason.  Listen, tell mom that I am home and I will see her soon.”

“Okay.  Abby, take care of yourself and remember, I’m just a phone call away.”

“Okay, Jason.  I will.”  With that, I end the call.  What in the world was all that about? 

I decide that I will help my mom out and clean the house a little.  I start with Michael’s room since he’s coming home to recover.  I go in to dust, vacuum and make sure he has clean sheets on the bed.  The doorbell rings as I’m finishing his room.  I make my way down our hallway to the front door and look out the peep hole.  It’s a delivery man with a bouquet of red roses.  I open the door and sign for the delivery.  The card attached reads:

To my angel:

I’m sorry about last night.  You are my world.  I love you now and for always.

Tommy

Tears begin to spring to my eyes.  He really didn’t mean to hurt me and he does feel bad about it.  I go to the kitchen to fetch a vase for the lovely roses.  I carry the vase of roses to my bedroom and place it on my desk.  As I’m standing there looking at the roses, my cell phone vibrates.  I look down and there is a message from my mom.

Just left the hospital.  Be home shortly. :-)

My family arrives home just after three.  Michael is sitting on the couch in the living room, his arm in a cast.  He
shoots a grin at me and motions me to sit next to him.  I make my way over there, careful not to hurt him as I sit down.
              “Hey sis, want to watch a movie with your broken brother?”

I laugh at his comment.  I miss having him at home.  “Sure.  What do you want to watch?”

“Well, nothing with any humor in it.  If I laugh it’ll hurt.”

I make note of that as I go to the DVD tower to find a movie.  I choose
Mission Impossible
and put it in the player.  I decide that popcorn and soda would make this evening perfect.  I bring the bowl of popcorn and 2 sodas to the living room and sit next to my brother while we get lost in the movie.  It’s been ages since Michael and I watched a movie together.  I miss him a lot and I need him more now than ever.

“Abby, what’s wrong?” he asks as I begin to cry.

“Oh, Mike, I just missed you and when you got hurt I was so worried about you.”

“Aww, sis, don’t worry.  I’m not going anywhere. I’m not done picking on my baby sister!”

A giggle escapes me and I forget about all my worries from the past two days.