On The Floor (Second Story) (25 page)

"No. And I haven't brought anyone else home since that night at Sound. With the exception of bringing Natalie back to my room the night you and I got together after the show at The Grove. You affected me so much, I didn't want anyone else. I tried to stay away from you. I've never had a relationship for a reason. I wanted you, but I wasn't sure I was cut out to care for someone in that way. I've always felt like since my parents didn't care about me, that I wasn't the type of person that could care for someone else. But now I know that I am and that's why I feel terrible about the way that I've been avoiding you."

"It's not okay, but it's okay at the same time. I understand why, but I just wish you would have told me you needed some space to deal with your feelings about Greg and your mom. If something happens like this again, just tell me. We should be open with each other about stuff like that, Jake."

He leans against my desk, half sitting and half standing, facing me. But his hand is back to rubbing his neck and he won't make eye contact with me.

"Jake?" I ask quietly.

"I told you it wasn't about Greg, Rachel. At least it's not
directly
about my parents. That's not why I was avoiding you."

"What? Jake, I don't understand. Then what happened?" If the thing with his dad isn't what caused the freeze out, then what was? I have no idea what it could be. At least when I thought I knew the reason was for his behavior, I felt like I had some control of the situation. Now, it could be anything.

Jake clears his throat. "We
should
be able to be open with each other. You're right. That goes both ways. If you have something you need to tell me, you can tell me, Rachel."

My brows pull together in confusion. "What are you talking about, Jake?"

He looks up at me, and our eyes lock. "I saw the test, Rachel."

That provides no clarification. I think I may be more confused after his response. "Test?" What is he talking about?

"In your drawer. The, uh..." he pauses, clearing his throat. "The pregnancy test."

"What do you mean?" Pregnancy test...

"When I was looking for your calculator in the desk I saw the box. You could have talked to me about it," he says, opening the drawer and pulling out the pregnancy test box. And that's when it hits me.

"Oh my god! Jake! That's not..." I start but he interrupts me.

"Rachel," he says halting my explanation. "Can I say this stuff before you say anything? I just want you to know how I feel."

"But Jake! It's..."

"I love you," he interrupts, coming up to me and kneeling in front of me as I sit on the bed. "I love you, Rachel. I don't know if you've taken the test or not. I don't know what the results are. But I wanted you to know, before you tell me anything about it, that I'm here. I freaked out a little. I just had that thing with my dad. And the thought of maybe being one, fucked with my head. I wish I would have just talked to you. But then tonight while I was playing some of my new music at the show, it hit me. I finally realized that I love you."

"Jake..." He needs to know that the pregnancy test isn't mine, but he keeps talking not letting me explain.

"Remember when you told me you wanted to have a love story like your parents. Well, you do. We do. What we've both been through. How we met. How we got together. How we feel about each other. We have our own beautiful love story and it's being written every day.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't see that and that I let you worry about what was going on with us. That I haven't been telling you that I love you since that moment on the dance floor when I looked into your eyes and felt that connection. Saw the future I could have with you. I'm sorry that I let us go through all that bullshit just to get here, where, deep down, I always knew we would end up."

"Jake..." I say, with tears in my eyes.

He leans in and kisses me. It is slow and loving. Tender and full of emotion. I taste the salt of my tears as they drip down to meet our lips. After a moment, he pulls away and looks into my eyes. "I love you, Rachel."

"I love you too, Jake." I smile at him, as I say the words for the first time. "And it wasn't my pregnancy test." His smile turns into confusion. "I'm not pregnant and I never thought I was."

"What? Then why would you have a pregnancy test hidden in your desk drawer?" he asks. "Was it from some other guy..." he says, starting to get mad.

"God no!" I say, chuckling. "Remember when I came back to the dorm that day when Heather was crying in the bathroom?"

"How could I forget," Jake mumbles.

"Well..." I say shrugging.

"Heather is pregnant!?" he asks, alarmed.

"No! False alarm. But I didn't want anyone to see the box in the bathroom trash. You know, rumors and all that. So I put it in my drawer until I could dispose of it more discreetly. I guess I just forgot about it," I say with another shrug.

"
I just forgot about it
, she says with a shrug. While I'm over here worrying about becoming a father," he says, trying to hide a smile. "I just figured, since we didn't use any protection that first time..."

"Well, you figured wrong," I say, leaning in for another kiss, pulling him up on the bed so he is lying on top of me.

"You could say that again," he says, letting his smile come through. Then he's kissing me again.

I pull back from the kiss and look into his eyes. "I know this disconnect we had only went on for one day, but it felt like so much longer."

"I know what you mean," he says looking sad.

"I missed you. Let's not let this kind of thing happen again, okay?"

"I agree. I love you." I love hearing that. Knowing that he loves me.

"I love you too." I love saying it, too.

When our lips meet again, the connection is hungrier. He devours my mouth, as my legs wrap around him. Jake pulls me up so I'm sitting in his lap and lifts that old T-shirt over my head. He takes a moment to appreciate my bare chest and then our gazes meet.

He smiles that sexy smile of his. "Hey, Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to celebrate the fact that we didn't make a baby?"

I chuckle. "Sure. How do you propose we celebrate?"

"By
making love
..." he says, with a big smile on his face.

"Making love?"

"Well, we
are
in love, aren't we?"

"Yes," I say smiling.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I would love to make love... later." The thought of his taking his time with me, connecting on a new level is really appealing. But right now, with the way I'm feeling and the way I can feel Jake between my thighs, I'm in the mood for something else. I've missed him and want him to take me. Actually, I want him to take me over.

"Oh," he says, looking a little crestfallen. "What did you want to do now, then?"

"I really feel like a good, long, hard... fuck," I say, trying to look as sexy as I can, with my face still a mess of make-up.

His smile comes back at my request. "My pleasure. And yours too," he says before laying me back. He takes his time, but we don't make love.

He fucks me.

Good.
Actually, great.

Long.
And thick.

Hard.
Really, really hard
.

And it's perfect.

So perfect.

It's fucking love.

Chapter 18

After everything that happened, Jake and I decide to spend Saturday alone in my room. The only time either of us leaves is to go to the bathroom or get food. That is also the only time either of us gets dressed.

Jake has decided that we should be naked the entire day. He says it will leave no barriers between us. I laugh at that excuse, but don't argue with his idea. A naked Jake, a naked me, and a bed is always a win-win-win in my book. I'm not really sure how the bed wins in this scenario, but the fact that it gets to experience a naked Jake, whether it's an inanimate object or not, is a win. Always.

We spent the day relaxing and talking about everything. I told him more about my family and everything that Dad went through after Mom died. He told me more about his grandparents and what an influence they have been in his life.

And I realize that even though Jake was more or less abandoned by his parents, it sounds like the people who raised him love him more than anything. I really want to meet them and I tell him so.

"Grams and Gramps would love you," he says, a smile on his face.

"I know they would," I say smiling and snuggling down into his chest.

He laughs, "Hi there, Miss Confident. What makes you think they'll love you so much?"

"Because it sounds like they love you and want you to be happy. And since
I'm
the one that makes you happy," I say laughing as he starts to tickle me. "No! Jake! Stop!" I say through the laughter. His hands smooth out on my skin as he stops and kisses me on the head. "But seriously, I really want to meet them. They sound like really nice people."

"They are," he says, trailing off. I look up at him and he looks as though he is working something out in his head. "You know what? I've been meaning to go see them and after the floor meeting tomorrow, I’m free. Are you? Do you want to go to my grandparent's house for dinner?"

I sit up straighter and look at him. "Really? I mean, I would love to, but isn't it kind of short notice?"

"No way, Rach. They are always up for a visit from their favorite grandson. Plus, when I told Grams about you, she really wanted me to bring you by," he says, looking a little guilty.

"You've told them about me? And why do you look so guilty about it?" I ask. I mean, I guess I figured he would have told his grandparents about me, but with the way he said it, it's almost like he told them something he doesn't want me to know about.

"Of course I told them about you! You told
your
family, right?" he asks, trying to avoid the question.

"I did. But I guess the question I
should
have asked is,
what
did you tell them about me and why do you look so guilty about it?"

"I don't look guilty, I look nervous. Apprehensive." And he's right. That is exactly how he looks.

"Well then, why are you apprehensive?"

"I kind of told them about you a while ago," he says, shifting nervously underneath me.

"A while ago?"

"Uh, yeah."

"How long ago is a while ago?"

"On my first day living here," he says referring to the dorm.

"Seriously? What did you tell them?"

"I actually just told them about the normal stuff. But I guess Grams picked up something in the way I was talking about you. She seemed to think that I liked you. That there was something else between us," he says smiling as he pulls me closer to him. "I denied it. I just said that you were a great friend." He laughs. "I mean, I guess you are a great friend. You're just so much more than that, too."

"So you only told them good stuff?" I ask, worried that he may have told them about some of the issues we had while we were trying to deny our feelings for each other.

"Of course. There was only ever good stuff to tell."

"Yeah. Right," I say sarcastically. "What about all those stupid arguments we had?"

"Like you just said, they were stupid. Though I guess they didn't feel that way at the time," he pauses, trailing his fingers down the side of my face. He leans down for a kiss. "I wouldn't tell them about that stuff. I blamed all that on myself anyways."

"Even when I threw my date in your face after you forgot our kiss."

"Yeah. It kind of was my fault. And by the way, that broke my heart. I could barely even look at another woman and you were dating this guy with
dating potential
. I wish I would have said something then. Told you how I was feeling."

"Me too," I sigh.

We sit in silence for a few moments, remembering all that we have been through together. All the misunderstandings. All the days we could have spent together if we were both just honest with each other.

I decide to break the silence with a question that I have been wanting to ask for a while now. "So, on the night we got together, Nate had told me that you talked to the guys about me a lot. And that they thought you had feelings for me. What exactly did you tell them about me?"

He chuckles. "A lot of the same kind of stuff I told my grandparents. Only with a few more curse words and different kinds of descriptive language."

"
Descriptive language
?"

"You know," he says with a smirk on his face. "With Grams and Gramps I called you smart, talented, nice, pretty. And I told the guys were fuckin' stacked," he says, moving a hand to one my breasts, running his thumb over my nipple.

"Jake!" I half scold, half moan.

"I told them that based on the way you danced, you would be an amazing fuck," he says rolling us over so he is hovering above me, pressing his growing erection between my naked thighs. My hips tilt up trying to relieve the pressure that is growing within in me.

"Jake..." That was all moan. "I'm sure they thought I was a whore or something."

"And when Toby asked if I would introduce him to you, I told him that you were way too good for him and me. And that you were the type of girl who deserved a man who would love you. Cherish you. Adore you. Worship you," he says, kissing me at each pause.

"Jake..." I run my hands through his hair pulling him down for a kiss, our tongues exploring each other's mouths. A deep, passionate kiss that fuels the fire that is growing in me.

He pulls away, looking into my eyes as he says, "I didn't think I could be that man. But it turns out, I can be. For you. Only for you."

He leans down, our mouths connecting again. My hands travel down his body, stopping at his muscled backside. I lift my hips as I pull him down, his thick length gliding over my slick warmth. "Let me make love to you, Jake," I plead as he trails kisses down my neck and onto my chest.

His answering groan is all I need.