Authors: Peggy Ann Craig
Anna had a different mind-set. She wanted to get back to the ranch as soon as possible. There was an odious shadow hovering over the mountain and a sense of doom filling her heart. She had always loved this country and its majestic mountains so close to heaven. However, there was a semblance of evil connected to the mountain that Anna feared would always exist. The night before, when she had run into the woods, she recalled wanting to go home. But it was not the village in the mountain that had come to mind. It was the Circle H.
They had reached the campsite and the men had finished herding the cattle into the holding pen and were dismounting from their horses. Anna watched as they took their places around the campfire. Her eyes shifted in Chuck Rhodes direction. He was watching her. She felt a chill of apprehension run its icy finger down her spine. She looked away and saw Wade lay out his bedroll. In his arms that first night she had felt safe and warm. But the scene in the upstairs room in the saloon left a coldness in her heart that Anna wasn’t entirely sure would ever leave.
She looked toward Joe and remembered how Chuck Rhodes feared the man. No doubt she would be safe from the old man next to the lead hand, however, she wasn’t certain how safe she would be if the inconceivable happened and Joe discovered her sex. She bit her lip and looked around at the other wranglers. The same fear kept her from laying her bedroll next to theirs. Her eyes fell upon Prescott and with a sense of relief she slipped into the spot next to him.
He looked at her with surprise and Anna thought he might have exchanged glances with Wade. However, in true Prescott form, he began talking to her in his usual joyful self.
“Should be a good sleep tonight. Not nearly as cold as the last two evenings.”
Anna truly hoped so, though she had eventually warmed up there was still a coldness in her bones she feared was permanent.
“I daresay, it will snow soon. It is beautiful in the valley in the winter. The land is crisp and white and very still. Nothing stirs during the dead of winter. Kathleen calls it a winter wonderland and in particular loves coming home for Christmas. She could be mistaken for a Christmas angel. Her kind heart and generosity are boundless. There never was a sweeter spirit.”
She laid out her bedroll while she listened to Prescott. His words were creating a warmth around her cold heart. Without even having met the woman, Anna took a liking to her.
“And no more a pretty filly,” Joe offered from his corner of the camp. “If only I were a gentleman.”
“You still couldn’t get your hands on her,” Wade remarked and received a few chuckles from the ranch hands.
“Hell, if that girl hadn’t gone to England, you would have had her stay on with you at the ranch for the rest of her life.”
Wade didn’t hesitate. “She would never had been happy here. It takes a certain person to live a life in these rugged elements. Even if the land weren’t so harsh, it’s far too isolated for her liking. She loves the convenience of the city.”
“It takes a rare woman to endure this lifestyle,” Prescott agreed.
“That type of woman does not exist.” Wade stated matter-of-fact.
Many of the ranch hands nodded their heads in agreement and Anna was struck by an unexpected sense of sadness for them. For a group of men who spoke so openly about their trysts with members of the opposite sex, they truly knew nothing about females. They were doomed to live a life of loneliness, occasionally filling the void with salacious intervals. Wade included.
Anna settled into her bedroll and sat back to watch the men in the camp. Joe prepared the fire as usual while Neil and Frank sat across a log for a game of cards. Most of the men took the early stop to lay back and rest. Chuck Rhodes had slipped out of camp and was nowhere to be found. Her lids felt heavy, but she knew she would lie awake most of the night. As she probably would for the rest of her life.
It occurred to her as she observed the ranch hands that her future looked unclear. She couldn’t go on forever charade as a boy. However, there wasn’t too many options available to young females and she certainly wouldn’t succumb to the level of the saloon ladies. The question was, where did she go from the ranch? Though the thought seemed frightening, it was also inevitable. She would eventually have to leave.
She was distracted from her thoughts when Joe announced dinner was ready. With her bowl in her hand, she stared down at the goo and wondered how he could call it dinner. Not wanting to insult, she allowed Joe to scoop a good portion into her bowl before scurrying off to her bedroll. The revolting stuff tasted far worse than it looked and Anna had to force every spoonful down.
The sun had long set and the men were beginning to turn in for the night. Wade, Joe and Prescott did the same. Anxiety started to creep up her neck. She looked for Chuck Rhodes yet again, but found him nowhere. He had come for his meal then disappeared in the area of the animals. Anna only prayed he would stay there.
At the least, she was grateful the evening was not nearly as cold as the last two nights. If she had not been laced with apprehension she probably would have fallen into a comfortable sleep; as it was she found herself still awake hours later, staring up at the branches overhanging the camp. The only sound was the crackling of the fire as it slowly dwindled.
Next to her, Prescott’s chest rose up and down in a heavy sleep. She looked around the camp and noticed all the other men fast asleep as well. Instinctively, her eyes sought out Wade. He too slept propped against a downed tree with his hat perched low over his face.
Sighing, her gaze drifted up into the night sky and the half-moon just visible above the tree tops, and willed it away. The sooner the sun rose the sooner they would be back on the road.
A twig cracked and caught her attention. Her eyes shot in the direction which it came. Chuck Rhodes stood just outside the camp and was looking straight at her. Fear swelled in her gut. She held her breath and waited. Shuffling he made his way toward her, stepping cautiously between wranglers. Anna’s hand snuck out from beneath her blanket and touched Prescott’s arm.
And received no response.
The old man kept approaching and panic set in setting Anna’s heart rate at soaring speeds. She reached out and touched Prescott’s arm once more but still nothing. He slept undisturbed.
“What are you after, Chuck?” Wade’s booming voice broke the still night and stopped Chuck Rhodes in his tracks.
* * *
Wade had been keeping a watchful eye on the boy all day. In health, he looked far better. Elizabeth’s home cooking and hospitality had done him good. But there was definitely something wrong with the boy. Since he returned to fetch him for the ride back to the ranch, he had avoided all eye contact. However, Wade didn’t need to see into his brown depths to know something wasn’t right. He just wasn’t sure what it was.
Admittedly, he was hurt when the boy chose to lay his bedroll next to Prescott. Wade knew it had been a deliberate rejection. He just wasn’t clear on what grounds. Had he truly insulted the boy’s sense of morals? Possibly, but with or without the boy’s knowledge he kept an extra watchful eye on him. He wasn’t entirely certain the kid wouldn’t attempt another foolish stunt as he did last night. May even attempt to return to the village in the mountain.
Wade yawned as he had several times, but found sleep avoided him. Instead, he watched as the boy tossed and turned next to Prescott. When Chuck Rhodes made an unexpected appearance in the campsite, he wondered if the old man did this often. Wait till everyone was asleep before coming to warm himself by the fire. That was until he realized the fire was not his destination.
“What are you after, Chuck?”
The old man had reached within a foot of the boy, but stopped suddenly at Wade’s words. He looked flustered at being caught and turned around abruptly and scurried back into the woods toward the animals.
Wade frowned and glanced at his brother’s slumbering form, and then at the boy. It was too dark to see if either were awake, but from what he could see Prescott was laying on his side breathing heavily in sleep. The boy lay perfectly still and was more than likely fast asleep as well. What would old Chuck Rhodes want with Prescott? Or, even stranger, with the boy?
“Now, kid, you gotta keep the line taut when leading Lucy around the ring.” Joe scolded Anna as she allowed the lead in her hand slack once again. “You gotta keep control or she’ll trample all over ya.”
As if understanding his words, the wild filly reared up and kicked her front legs.
“Whoa, girl.” Joe brought the lead close to his body, but the young horse only bucked further. “She’s a little feisty, this one. You best to show her who’s boss.”
With an unbelievable strength he pulled the rope under his arm and cupped it close to his hip, then lifted a booted foot and put his weight on the rope forcing the horse low to the ground. She neighed and kicked the earth and Anna winced.
“See, horses have a natural pecking order. The most dominant horse becomes the leader. What ya want to do is let the horse know you’re the alpha.” He put the full force of his body onto the lead. “Come here, boy. Let the horse get familiar with your scent.”
Anna hesitated. She was certain the horse was already familiar with her and being associated with Joe’s brute force would leave Lucy’s trust in her shaken.
“Come on now, boy, don’t be ‘fraid. I got her good and tight.”
Lucy’s dark eyes darted around in her head. Inside, Anna felt a mix of fear and sorrow for the frightened but powerful creature. Keeping her calm and steady gaze on the horse, she waited until Lucy was able to focus on her, then with slow and deliberate movement walked toward her. Still maintaining eye contact, Anna reached out and laid a gentle hand upon Lucy’s hindquarter then gradually moved across the horse’s barrel until she stroked her shoulder and neck. The horse rolled her eyes as far back in her head as possible to keep a watchful eye on Anna.
Finally she could feel the tension in Lucy’s body begin to ease somewhat, her only movement was the shuffling of her hind legs. Anna’s hand moved forward, toward the makeshift bridle, and lightly grasped the rope. With slow and deliberate movements, she followed its length until she reached Joe’s foot.
He watched her entire action, frowning heavily, but stepped off the lead as her hand picked up the rope. “Your funeral, kid.”
Looping the excess rein, she stepped back so as to stand next to Lucy’s shoulder and then gently urged the animal into a walk. They proceeded to circle the ring several times before turning and walking in the opposite direction.
With no idea how to train a horse, Anna simply felt since Lucy was a sensitive animal, she needed tenderness and time to trust the people handling her. With a start, she realized something she, herself, still needed.
She led the horse to the center of the ring and dropped the rope in her hand. Other than her eyes shifting to keep a watchful eye on Anna, the horse remained still. Stepping around her, Anna ran her hand across the big animal’s body feeling the soft coat beneath her fingers. Lucy was breathing hard and Anna could sense her wariness slowly seep from her pores. Coming to stop at her shoulder once more, she followed the line of her leg until she cupped the fetlock and applied a small amount of pressure. The horse instinctively lifted her foot and Anna gave her a rewarding pat. She did this with all four legs before taking the horse back around the ring. That was when she noticed Wade watching from the opposite side of the fence.
A week after the roundup and Anna still had difficulty looking him in the eye. Every time she saw him, the image of him in that saloon room came back to mind. So instead she worked hard to forget it. No easy task when he was always around. Watching her closely.
Her shoulders tensed and the fingers clasping the reins clenched. Lucy stiffened then neighed. The big horse pulled back and refused to go further.
“Getta hold of her reins, boy,” Joe hollered.
Lucy became excited and pulled on the rope. Anna dropped it instinctively and the horse bolted off like lightning.
“Jesus, kid.” Joe was angry as he ran after the young filly.
She stood and watched as Joe cornered the animal with both arms outstretched, hollering at the horse before bending down and snatching up the lead rope.
“If ya spoil the animal you might as well shoot her, ‘cause she ain’t going be any good to us.” The wrangler dragged the unwilling horse out of the ring toward her holding pen.
Anna watched Lucy with sad eyes. The horse was not spoiled, but rather frightened, and she knew exactly how that felt.
“Joe, is right about that.” Wade came toward her. “Horses are easily confused and if you don’t make it clear you are in control, they will learn early not to obey.”
She stared at the dirt on her boots until he had finished talking, then turned and headed out of the ring.
“Just hold on, boy.”
Anna halted faithfully, but wanted to run instead.
“I came down here to have a word with you.” She heard his voice come closer and her back went stiff.
She waited for him to continue, but only silence stretched out behind her. When she thought he would say no more, he at last finally spoke.
“I’m not sure what happened last week in Lantern, but I know something has upset you.”
Anna didn’t want to hear this. She began to walk away.
“Wait.” Wade stopped her again, but this time came to stand in front of her.
Her eyes automatically dropped to the earth.
“Look, maybe something happened in your room or you witnessed something you thought you would only see after your wedding night. Hell, for all I know, maybe you got a little turned on from what you saw in my room. After all, Marion is a very—”
Anna saw red, the blood in her veins surged to a boiling point. Without thinking, she lifted her chin and spat in Wade’s face, then turned on her heel and marched off toward the bunkhouse.
She heard him swear before he seized her arm and spun her around. “If you ever do that again, I swear I won’t hesitate to put you over my knee and treat you like the kid you are.”
Her anger was still there, but upon seeing his restrained temper, fear also made an appearance.
“Christ, kid, I came down here to apologize for whatever the hell I did to upset you.” He placed angry hands on his hips. “But since I don’t usually do this, I probably made a hell of a mess. I don’t know what I did to offend you so much but I’m willing to apologize for it.”
Her anger began to cool.
Wade appeared to have gotten his temper under control as well. “Look, I know you’re upset and it’s directed toward me. Possibly I’ve done something to hurt you, but since you have no way of telling me, all I can do is offer my apology.”
He paused and a calm silence fell between them. Looking away, he quietly said, “I’ve missed you kid. I kinda like having you around.”
Anna’s heart completely opened and in that split second, she knew she trusted Wade above all else. That was the reason she had been so angry and hurt. Ever since the incident in the mountain, he was the only person who made her feel safe from a past she could not recall. She came to trust no other as she had him. However, that trust was severely shaken, and Anna feared, shattered forever.
But looking up into his face, and seeing such sincere emotion emitting from his ocean blue eyes for the first time, she knew he would never intentionally hurt her. It was time to tell him the truth of her identity. Her heart swelled and her chest released a huge sigh. She reached out to touch him
The sound of horse hoofs pounding on the road leading up to the homestead, caught Wade’s attention. He turned to look and Anna dropped her hand in midair before ever having made contact. Reluctantly, she glanced over to what had distracted him, and saw a stagecoach pull up in front of the home.
“Kathleen.” Wade quietly stated before looking back at her. “Look, kid, think about what I said. All right?”
Anna nodded vaguely and watched as Wade headed off toward the house and a realization came over her that both filled her with joy and fear at the same time. She loved Wade Haddock. Even with a battered and damaged heart upon all repair. She was a woman of secrets and a heinous past. From a world as separate as the mountain between them. With a dispirited sigh, Anna knew she was more than unworthy of his love. Wade was worth so much more.
* * *
Wade was surprised to see the stagecoach. Kathleen had sent a message informing them she wouldn’t be for a visit until Christmas. He hoped all was well with her family.
The stagecoach came to a stop at the foot of the steps leading up to the house and one of its doors swung open. A colorful burst of petals shaped in the form of a woman’s skirt exploded from the interior followed by an elaborate feathered hat. The owner of the outfit lifted her face and upon seeing Wade broke out into a full smile, disbursing immediately Wade’s worries.
“Wade, darling,” Kathleen held out her arms and came running toward her brother. Though he knew Kathleen was fully aware of his feelings regarding physical affection, he allowed her to fling herself into his arms. “My last visit feels far too long, that’s why I couldn’t stay away.”
He smiled and drew her arms down from around his neck, but took hold of one elbow so as not to insult his sister. With the other hand he gathered her bag from the coach driver. “Just as long as you feel better.”
“Yes, of course.” She hurriedly assured him. “Thank goodness, my influenza was not nearly as severe as poor John Junior. He suffered for weeks before it finally released him. I feared Danielle would become ill as well, but she is terribly tough just like her uncle.”
“I’m sorry to hear about the boy, but glad to see you in fine health.” He turned them toward the house. “Prescott will be happy to see you, but unfortunately he is in Lantern visiting. We had no word to expect you.”
“No, I decided last minute I couldn’t bear to wait a whole month before seeing my beloved brothers.” She beamed up at him from her small frame and squeezed his arm. “I do hope it is Elizabeth Prescott is visiting?”
Wade smiled and gave a nod. “They seem very happy together.”
“How wonderful,” Kathleen cooed. “Perhaps there will be a wedding soon. I would so enjoy planning such an occasion. And since you are taking so long in selecting a wife, I fear I may be planning Danielle’s wedding long before yours.”
Wade hated this line of conversation. Kathleen, on the other hand, loved to discuss it wholeheartedly. “More than likely.”
“Wade,” Kathleen scolded and gave his shoulder a delicate slap. “That is nonsense. What if Josephine had only heard?”
Wade opened the door to the house allowing his sister to proceed and thought if only good fortune were on his side. Josephine was a young socialite from the town of Chapman fifty miles to the south of the ranch. She was also a close friend of Kathleen’s as well as her attempt at matchmaking on Wade’s behalf. It seemed for years now she visited the ranch during special occasions or planned parties at the request of his sister, but inevitably was made to appear more like Wade’s guest. Since it made his sister happy, he didn’t argue or complain. After all, the small periods in which he was forced to endure Josephine’s company were minimal.
“I do hope it snows soon.” She dropped his arm and headed for the hearth. “The valley is so beautiful in the winter.”
Wade nodded. Now that he and his ranch hands had secured all the cattle back to their winter holding pens, he could breathe easier and enjoy the cold weather when it arrived.
“I thought I would get started on plans for a Christmas party. I want this year to be spectacular.” She started to remove her overcoat and Wade went to immediately help. “I thought perhaps we could add garlands of pine across every entryway and adorn them with wild mistletoe. John has a contact in the city who can have a fresh batch shipped to us directly from Europe.”
“Are they not poisonous?”
Kathleen cocked her head and gave her brother a look from under her brow. “You’re not supposed to eat them. They’re for kissing.”
Wade frowned as he hung his sister’s coat. “Wouldn’t the poison be detrimental to your lips?”
“Oh Wade.” Kathleen put her hands on her hips. “You are beginning to sound more uncultured every time I visit. You really ought to think about visiting me and John in New Westminster. Why don’t you come with Prescott in the spring when he is planning to visit?”
Wade had visited the city in which his sister lived many years before when she was first a new bride. He didn’t like the experience and vowed never to return. Kathleen knew how he felt but never stopped trying to convince him to return. “I’d rather kiss the mistletoe.”
“You don’t kiss the mistletoe, silly. You stand under a sprig of them with a member of the opposite sex and steal a kiss.”
“Why do I feel you’ve got someone in mind?”
“Why, big brother, you are suspicious. That female could be anyone. Including myself.”
“Then I look forward to being caught under the mistletoe.” He headed for the grand staircase and Kathleen’s room on the upper floor.
She followed close behind. “I was thinking of inviting about thirty guests this year and hold a ball similar to those in England. We could hire a band and have dancing. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”