On Tuesdays, They Played Mah Jongg (15 page)

Each of the girls opened her compact and checked her hair and makeup. Somehow, and maybe not by coincidence, all of them chose similar outfits, beige or cream colored slacks, button down blouses in pastel colors and minimal jewelry, except for Hannah, who was wearing her usual large costume beads. They looked like a menopausal singing group.

When they arrived at the front door, Rona reached for the doorknocker, with its clichéd ring in a lion’s mouth, but Arlene stopped her.

“Give me a second,” Arlene said as she put her hand to her chest, and then she nodded to Rona, who took her cue and lifted the knocker.

After what seemed an eternity, but was only about 30 seconds, the door slowly opened. A small man in his 80s with a balding head of white hair with matching mutton chops and dressed in a butler’s uniform, bowed and motioned for the girls to enter.

“Hello, Joel. How are you? We are here to see Minna,” Arlene said loudly to the butler. She then turned to the girls and said, “He never says a word.”

“He would make the perfect husband,” Florence said, and the girls shushed her, for the dark motif continued inside the residence, and the other girls felt it appropriate to whisper. Joel led them down the main hallway, and the girls followed in a huddle while looking at the large oil paintings that decorated the wood-paneled walls and the red-velvet Victorian furniture that was in abundance.

“You own a nice house here, Arlene,” Florence whispered.

“Too bad it isn’t in your name,” Doreen added.

“When you finally move in, you are hosting the first Mah Jongg game,” Hannah said.

“At least you will be able to afford more than Brach’s orange slices and Diet Rite Cola,” Rona added.

Doreen, Hannah and Florence yelled, “Rona!” and Arlene shushed them as they continued to follow Joel.

Joel led them into the living room, which was decorated in a Louis XIV style with red and gold damask upholstered sofas — three of them arranged in a “U” facing the fireplace. Hannah, Florence and Rona sat on the couch facing the fireplace, Doreen sat on the couch to their left and Arlene on the couch to their right. An old Great Dane that was quite gray, but appeared to have once been a black dog, ambled into the room and sat at Doreen’s feet.

Rona looked at the dog and remarked, “I think he is past his expiration date.”

Doreen reached down to pet the dog, and he rolled over for her to scratch his belly, and she said, “Everything in this house is so old that it makes me feel young again.”

Hannah reached into her purse and pulled out an Eve cigarette, but Florence grabbed her hand before she lit it.

“I can smoke in here. There are ashtrays all over the room,” Hannah said as she waved her hand pointing to all the ashtrays.

“It just doesn’t seem right,” Florence said, so Hannah put the cigarette back in the pack.

After a few minutes passed, Joel wheeled his employer into the room and positioned her in front of the three sofas with her back to the fireplace.

There she was — the last surviving parent.

Although confined to a wheelchair most of the time, 98-year-old Minna Feld was still in pretty good physical condition and had full control of all her faculties. Seeing Minna was not a shock for Arlene who had seen her only a few months prior and, for the most part, had a civil relationship with her mother-in-law. For the other girls though, Minna’s appearance was a shock.

They and their husbands had each lost their parents before any of them reached their late 70s, and to see William’s mother still alive at 98 reminded them of how much time had passed. Strange that William, who was the oldest at 71, still had his mother.

What was left of Minna’s white hair was teased and set, and she was wearing a dark blue dress with a white collar and cuffs — nondescript in style, but obviously expensive nonetheless. Disturbingly, the dress could have come straight from Arlene’s closet, and they each wondered if she bought it from Feld’s Department Store. Her makeup was flawless, with just the right amount of rouge and orange-tint lipstick in the most flattering shade. They each wanted to know who did her makeup every morning and if he was available. Her wrinkled hands had manicured and painted nails, and on her ring finger was the largest diamond all the girls, except Doreen, had ever seen. On her feet, she wore Nike running shoes. The girls looked at her feet and wondered where she might be running.

Minna Feld also did not wear glasses. At 98, her eyesight was still perfect.

“So vat brings you here, Arlene,
mit dis
rag tag group of
yentas
?” Minna asked.

~~~~~

“OK, this I cannot believe,” Dr. Mikowsky interrupted as he removed his glasses and looked at Michael, “It is enough that I let you go on about the dark mansion, the short butler with the mutton chops and the Great Dane, but a Jewish accent?”

“It is mostly true,” Michael reassured the doctor. “Minna Feld lived longer than any of them and in a mansion; however, she did not speak with a thick Jewish accent. That part I am making up.”

“Really?” the doctor said sarcastically.

“Do you want to hear the strangest part?” Michael said as he leaned forward.

“I cannot wait,” Dr. Mikowsky said with a smirk on his face.

“When I first wrote this, I wanted to play the part of Minna Feld,” Michael continued as he leaned back waiting for the doctor’s response.

“I suppose you expect me to find some deep-seated psychological reason why you wanted to play a 98-year-old woman in a wheel chair, who also had a thick Jewish accent,” the doctor responded.

“Actually, yes,” Michael said.

“Well, Michael, I don’t think there is a deep-seated psychological reason,” the doctor said. “I think you wanted to play the part because you thought it would be funny to play an old woman in a wheelchair and have the audience not realize it was you.”

“You finally get me, Doc,” Michael said as he nodded his head.

“Continue,” the doctor said as he put on his glasses.

~~~~~

Minna looked at the three women on the couch and pointed to Rona, “You.”

“Me?” Rona answered.

“Yes, you with the red hair and the large glasses with the pink lenses,” Minna said. “You’ve got to be Rona. Vaysmir! Have you aged. Listen darling. Aren’t you a bit old for that red drek on your
keppy
?” Minna patted the top of her head as she said
keppy.

Minna then pointed at Doreen.

“You,” Minna said.

“Me?” Doreen answered.

“That has to be Doreen,” Minna said. “I wouldn’t forget that face anywhere. So, Arlene, you brought me Rona the
yenta
, and Doreen the
yachna
.”

“You?” Minna said pointing at Hannah on the couch in front of her. “Unless my eyesight is failing me, isn’t that Hannah. Hannah, my darling, come here, give me a kiss.”

Hannah got up from the couch and gave Minna a kiss.

Minna held her hand, looked at her and said, “You are a beautiful creature, just like your mother was. Oy, what are you doing hanging around with this group of
pishikahs
?”

“Aunt Minna, these girls have been my best friends for almost 40 years,” Hannah answered, and she sat back down on the couch.

Florence looked at the girls wondering why Minna did not point to her and then asked, “Aunt Minna, don’t you remember me. It’s Florence. Ida Friedman’s daughter. I am the only one who does not dye her hair anymore.”

Minna leaned forward in her chair and looked closely at Florence.

“Florence? Oy vay, my God I haven’t seen you in years. Look at you. Florence, tell me darling, are you still a tramp?” Minna asked with wonder.

“No, Aunt Minna,” Florence answered. “Doreen is the tramp.”

Minna and the girls looked over at Doreen who looked back at them and huffed.

Minna reached down and pulled a pack of Pall Mall filter-less cigarettes from her bra and lit one. Hannah looked at Florence and grabbed the cigarette she had put back into her purse, and the other girls followed suit.

Joel entered the room again with iced tea and cookies, which he placed on the coffee table. All the girls except Arlene took a glass and a cookie and waited to see if Minna or Arlene would speak first.

Minna took a drag off her Pall Mall and broke the silence, “So, tell me. What brings you here? I mean, darling, I haven’t seen you since you told William to leave. And, what about the rest of you? Not so much as a phone call or a letter. An old woman gets lonely. It wouldn’t hurt to call sometime. So, Arlene, what’s the emergency that has brought you to see me with your entourage?”

The girls were amazed at how being in the presence of Minna made them all feel like teenagers again, as they were admonished for not calling or visiting William’s mother.

Arlene looked over at Rona and whispered, “All of a sudden, I have cold feet.”

Never shy, and as Minna said, always a
yenta
, Rona stepped in, “Aunt Minna, as you know Arlene and William are getting a divorce.”

“Yes, I heard the delightful news, Rona,” Minna said.

“I know you don’t like me very much,” Arlene said, finally mustering the courage to speak.

“Who says I don’t like you, Arlene?” Minna asked.

“But, I always thought you didn’t like me for taking your William away from you,” Arlene answered.

“Oy vay,” Minna said. “I have always felt sorry for you, darling, for being married to such a
shmegeggy
like my William.”

“You like me?” Arlene was confused. “But, all these years you gave me such a hard time.”

“We are Jewish, my dear,” Minna answered. “I was commanded by the Torah to give you a hard time. What would my friends think if I didn’t complain about my daughter-in-law?”

Florence interrupted, “Then do you think that all of my mother-in-laws liked me?”

“Don’t be a yutz, Florence,” Minna said.

Steering the conversation back, Arlene continued, “Well, that is not the only reason that I came to see you.”

Minna took a puff of her cigarette, and the girls did the same.

Minna said, “You want to know about the money? You want to know if I have forgotten about you in my will. Don’t worry, everything is taken care of. You go through with your divorce, darling. You are still young. You can still enjoy your life.”

“Young?” Arlene thought, “To a 98-year-old, 67 is still young.”

“But Minna, if I go through with the divorce, I will be left with nothing,” Arlene shot back.

Minna, realizing Arlene did not understand what she said, tried again to reassure her, “Arlene, you have nothing to worry about. I have taken care of you. It is time you lived your life. Darling, don’t lose any more sleep over my son.”

The girls visited for another hour and promised to visit Minna more often. Arlene was still not sure about what Minna had told her, but she was determined to go through with the divorce.

~

In the weeks that followed, Minna Feld retained Alvin Diamond and made substantial changes to her will, leaving everything to Arlene, including her share of Feld’s Department Store, the $6,000,000, and her house and other property. She also appointed Alvin as her executor.

Minna had every intention of having the changes made to her will, but she wanted all along for Arlene to come and see her before she made them. Had Arlene not visited her mother-in-law, no one knows what would have happened.

What no one, except maybe William, realized was that William’s father tried to pull the same wool over Minna’s eyes, but she was a bright woman and years ahead of her time.

About a month after Alrene and William’s divorce was final, Dr. Edward Lefkowitz summoned William and Arlene to the mansion at Minna’s request.

Arlene arrived first and was sitting in Minna’s bedroom when William arrived.

“What the hell is she doing here?” he asked.

“Your mother told me to call her,” Dr. Lefkowitz said.

William walked past Arlene and over to his mother, who was lying in the bed struggling to breathe.

“Mother, can you hear me?” William asked as he leaned over her.

Minna motioned William to come closer, so she could say something. William leaned in so that his ear was near her mouth.

Minna took a deep breath, and with all the strength she had left, she shouted into his ear, “William, you are a shmuck!”

Then, she exhaled and died.

Arlene smiled and restrained a laugh, and William stared at his mother’s lifeless body with shock. At 71, he was an orphan.

What William did not know was that from the time the girls visited Minna until her death, she sent Arlene $5,000 a month from her personal account under the condition Arlene not tell anyone. To keep William from getting suspicious, Arlene never splurged on anything, putting the money away for safe keeping until the time was right.

After Minna died, Arlene bought her first new car, a red Mustang convertible. Soon after, she moved into the mansion.

As she had promised, Arlene hosted the first Mah Jongg game after she was settled into her new home. She also hired a French caterer for the game, and the girls were delighted. However, she always served Brach’s orange slices and Diet Rite Cola along with the rest of the food — for old-time’s sake.

16

If you have a heart attack in Newport News, you are likely to be taken to one of two facilities, Riverside Medical Center or Mary Immaculate Hospital. For Morton, Sapperstein, it was the latter.

The call came at 2:00 am. Why is it that people never have heart attacks in the afternoon? My mother and I decided we would go to the hospital immediately, and within 14 minutes, we were dressed and out the door.

Rona was sitting in the emergency waiting room when we arrived, and a few minutes later, Florence came rushing in. As we sat down next to Rona, I noticed something extraordinary. There we were, all of us awakened in the middle of the night, and Rona and Hannah were in full makeup, without a hair out of place, and wearing earrings. Florence was only wearing lipstick, but it was perfectly applied. I sometimes wondered if my mother and her friends each had a mask that she glued on in situations such as this.