One Dead Seagull

T
eacher
’
s
notes
for
ONE
DEAD
SEAGULL
are available
at
ww
w
.scotgardne
r
.com

Cover
model:
Shane
Hen
r
y

First
published
2001
in
Pan
by
Pan
Macmillan
Australia
Pty
Limited

Reprinted
2002

This
edition
©
2013

Karijan
Enterprises

P
.O.
Box
8
Churchill
Vic
3842

Copyright
©
Karijan
Enterprises
2001

All
rights
rese
r
ved.
No
part
of
this
book
may
be
reproduced
or
transmitted
in any
form
or
by
any
means,
electronic
or
mechanical,
including
photocopying, recording
or
by
any
information storage
and
retrieval
system,
without
prior permission
in
writing
from
the
publishe
r
.

National
Libra
r
y
of
Australia
cataloguing-in-publication
data:

Gardne
r
,
Scot.
One
dead
seagull.

ISBN
0
330
36273 9.

I.
Title. A828.3

T
ypeset
in
11/14
pt
New
Baske
r
ville
by
Midland
T
ypesetters

Printed
in
Australia
by
McPherson
’
s
Printing
Group

All
characters
and
events
in
this
book
are
fictitious
and
any
resemblance
to real
persons,
living
or
dead,
is
purely
coincidental.

for
robyn

Mum
has
always
harassed
me
about
brushing
my teeth.
I thought
it
was
stupid
when
I
was
little, now
it
’
s
a
major
pain. Eve
r
y
morning
before
I
bolt
out
the
door
she
stops me,
kisses
me,
and
if
she
can
’
t
smell
toothpaste,
sends
me back
to
brush
them.
She
’
s
the
reason
I’m
late
for
school almost
eve
r
y
morning.
She
gets
me
into
a
lot
of
trouble.
I wish
she
would
just
ease
up
on
the
tooth
thing. If she leaves
before
me
I
usually
go
without
doing
my
teeth.
As if
she
would
find
out.
One
morning
when
she
left
early
I
went
into
the
bathroom,
put
toothpaste
on my
toothbrush then
thought:
‘Bugger
it—Mum will never
know’,
and
washed
the
toothpaste
off again.
She
goes
on
and
on about
my
jocks
too.
Asks
me
if
I’ve
changed
them
eve
r
y morning (I
always say yes).
Sometimes
they
stink
but mostly
they’re
fine.
By
Thursday
she’ll
corner
me:
‘There
were
only
three
pairs
of
your
undies
in
the
wash,
W
ayne,
and
it
’
s
been
a
week
since
I
last
washed.
Y
ou’ve
got
to
look after
yourself.’
Then
she’ll
go
on
about
how
when
I
leave
home
I
won
’
t
have
learnt
how
to
stay
clean
and
healthy
and
all
that.
Mum
’
s
a
nurse—well she
used
to
be,
now
she works
in
the
office
at
the
Chisholm
Hospital.
She
likes
to look
after
me.
I
can
look
after
myself.

I
lov
e
th
e
smel
l
o
f
L
yn
x
‘Aztec
’
deodorant
:
it
’
s
coo
l
and
I
alway
s
smel
l
clea
n
whe
n
I
pu
t
i
t
on
.
Sometime
s
I
ski
p
the showe
r
i
n
th
e
mornin
g
s
o
I
ca
n
slee
p
i
n
a
n
extr
a
hal
f
hour an
d
al
l
I
nee
d
t
o
d
o
i
s
giv
e
mysel
f
a
goo
d
spra
y
unde
r
the armpit
s
an
d
a
bi
t
aroun
d
m
y
bu
m
an
d
I’
m
righ
t
fo
r
the
da
y
.
Mu
m
like
s
it
.
S
o
doe
s
Mand
y
Masterson—sh
e
sniffed
m
e
onc
e
an
d
sai
d
I
smelle
d
nice
.
Sh
e
alway
s
smell
s
nice
.
I
a
m
amaze
d
Mu
m
ca
n
smel
l
anythin
g
a
t
all
;
she
’
s
been
smokin
g
sinc
e
sh
e
wa
s
m
y
ag
e
(o
r
s
o
sh
e
says
)
an
d
i
t
burns ou
t
you
r
smel
l
gland
s
o
r
whateve
r
yo
u
cal
l
them
.
She smoke
s
a
pac
k
an
d
a
hal
f
o
f
Holida
y
Extra
s
a
da
y
.
She
smoke
s
s
o
muc
h
tha
t
sh
e
doesn
’
t
notic
e
i
f
I
nic
k
a
fe
w
from
a
pac
k
that
’
s
open
.
I
too
k
a
whol
e
pac
k
once—fifty
smokes—an
d
sh
e
tol
d
hersel
f
of
f
fo
r
smokin
g
to
o
much! She’
d
kil
l
m
e
i
f
sh
e
kne
w
I
smoked
.
I
smok
e
a
bit
.
Like,
mayb
e
fou
r
o
r
fiv
e
ciggie
s
a
da
y
o
r
somethin
g
lik
e
that
.
I
ge
t
pisse
d
of
f
wit
h
mysel
f
fo
r
i
t
mos
t
mornings
.
Ru
n
lat
e
for
schoo
l
an
d
peda
l
lik
e
craz
y
s
o
Mr
s
Leave
y
won
’
t
crack
,
and
I
puf
f
an
d
wheez
e
an
d
coug
h
u
p
bi
g
blob
s
o
f
phleg
m
and spit
.
A
m
I
fiftee
n
o
r
fifty
?
Go
t
t
o
giv
e
u
p
th
e
smoke
s..
.